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hey bezzzz *clicks tounge* gabe. *he stumbles a bit.* hows it goiN? hmmM? wanted to jussst sstop by and ya know ssay hi *he smiles and wobbles his head a bit*
..Crowley, you're abzolutely wazzted- here, sit down-
*He offers a friendly smile and wave, the smile quickly fading as he gets spare blankets; he had a feeling they were gonna need it*
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Okay so hear me out. My stupidest, most beloved little headcanon is “what if Crowley and Beelzebub were ACTUALLY siblings (or whatever the angelic equivalent is. Same rank of angels?) or good friends, but after they fell Bee cut Crowley out and started acting like they didn’t know who he was because they had just been promoted to prince of hell and hell didn’t like things as pure and good as family or friendship so they kind of had to for their own good. HOWEVER here’s what makes this so good to me. This did not stop them from ‘subtly’ helping him out over the years. All those ‘little things that slowly drive the humans to evil’ that hell loves him for? Wellll, they are GOOD but they really didn’t have THAT much impact, Bee was butchering the reports to keep him in hells good (bad?) books. And then the fraternising reports and the execution buisness come up and they’re like ‘well shit can’t gaslight gatekeep demonboss my way out of this one.’ And kind of just resign themselves to it that I their help wasn’t enough and the only demon in hell they can actually stand is about to die and they don’t even get to apologise for being shitty. Thankfully Crowley and his husband are clever little shits and he gets out unscathed. Outside they are enraged but inside they are cackling because that was GENIUS.”
tldr; my fave little stupid hc is ‘Beelzebub and Crowley are estranged siblings/friends but bee spent 6000 years pulling a nepotism to make up for it because Crowley really isn’t a great demon and he would have died ages ago if they didn’t.’
Y E S .
that's my favorite dynamic with those two, making them estranged siblings/besties, and sometimes they can be little shets to each other, but deep down they do care in some way! I wanna draw a bunch of stuff like that at some point :> thank you for sharing!!
*bursts into their house* WHERE IS HE? WHERES AZIRAPHALE? FUCKING GOD I SWEAR TO SOMEONE ILL KILL WHO EVER HURT HIM- are you hurt? whats wrong with him? please oh fuck i feel horrible
- a verry concerned something ( @crowleytheserpentofeden )
shhh Crowley, not zzo loud!! he's in here, he'z overwhelmed and overstimulated..*leads him to the sensory safe room*
Okay I’m on another thought train and you are the designated person to travel with me on these trips. So. Consider. Reverse omens, right? Classic. Sometimes it’s all the angels and demons flipped, sometimes it’s just the husbands. But consider. Reverse omens but ONLY ineffable bureaucracy gets switched. If anything I think this has the possibility to be the MOST interesting variation of this au because, like, if only Aziraphale and Crowley are switched it changes some things but they’re like…middle to upper-middle class in terms of ranking? Not much about the structure of how things work in heaven and hell changes. Everyone gets switched? More variation but arguably too many moving parts and characters to keep track of. Just Beelzebub and Gabriel (or as Beez would probably called according to our headcanons Zuriel. And …whatever Gabriel is called in this. Any thoughts?) get switched? Throws the whole system into chaos! Like here’s how I see it. Season 1 Gabriel was a total asshole. No doubts about it. Heaven was institutionally fucked up and half of it was probably his fault. Beelzebub though? I’ve always had more of an impression that hell was bad because it’s, y’know, hell. Not that Beelzebub themself was an awful boss. Like aside from killing Eric that one time and yelling a bunch they actually seem like a pretty fair boss. Just evil because that’s their job. So like in this universe hell would be like…infinitely worse. But heaven? I feel like it would actually be substantially less fucked up with Beelzebub calling the shots. The other archangels and the metatitty would likely still cause problems as always but I genuinely don’t think it would be as bad. Crowley likely has a bunch of trauma now so oops but like Aziraphales boss is pretty chill so he likely isn’t as messed up as usual. They probably do still have that firm belief in Armageddon and all that but there probably less “we’ll kill you if you don’t go along with this. pick a side Aziraphale” about it and more “Look man I’ve been ignoring you and my brothe- (yes I’m bringing ssiblingzz shit into this. You probably know my brainrot well enough by now to have guessed I would.) Crowley’s shit for millennia I can’t do that any more. It’s time to fight. Please stop being stubborn I don’t wanna have kill you you’re the only bitch I respect up here.” (Beelzebub has always seemed more aware of Aziraphale and Crowley’s situation than Gabe so I kind of think in this situation they’d actually be the type to turn a blind eye to it?)
I do have more thoughts but I need to make food so enjoy this for now and share any of your ideas. I’ll probably be back soon with more.
OOOOOH WAIT YOUVE GOT A POINT THERE- I think Gabe would be some demon like perhaps Camio (from googling, he seems to be "Demon of persuassion and communication", which seems very up his alley, and his Wikipedia article mentioned him being leader of a bunch of demons, so it makes sense-), and he'd treat Hastur, Shax, and Ligur like he treats Uriel, Michael, and Sandalphon. Beez would for sure be dry, and tired, but I think ze'd be a pretty good boss too- the other Archangels may treat zir with an actual respect! ze might also give Aziraphale some slack for interacting with Crowley, since a) it's zir brother, and b) ze might understand how he feels 👀 Demon!Gabe (Cammy?) tho, he'd smell more of plastic-promises, be more manipulative and conniving, and maybe even be more in his element, cuz being a demon doesn't take a "I'm smart and mighty, follow me" mentality, it takes an obey-or-die mentality. I mean, "t-o-s-t...e. TOAST!!" put great emphasis on that ADHFH- (also him possibly being considered as Lucifer's brother? and fellow starmaker with Angel!Crowley?? SO MANY ANGST OPPORTUNITIES-) however, he would probably be extra with keeping track of the intentions of Crowley's miracles, and yeahh poor Crowbro may be kinda frucked up even more-
I think once he sees how Zuriel actually cares about him and sees him as someone other than a big scary demon, as an actual friend and companion who understands him, he puts down his guard and fight-or-flight, and changes for the better with zir. (maybe he didn't particularly enjoy having to manipulate and scare others into doing what he'd been ordered to do, but had to in order to survive? or maybe he and his possible brother team up and are conniving little shits, whatever you think is best ^^)
THANK YOU FOR SHARING ALL OF THIS WITH ME I LOVE YOUR HEADCANONS ADN STUFF SO MUCHVAHFJDHG
why would you tell Aziraphale that?
- a very pissed(ish) demon @crowleytheserpentofeden
to help you, Crowley, if you're not gonna tell him I'm gonna tell him for you. you guyz need to ztart zzomewhere.
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gab, beez- azi just -
*she’s standing there at the door her eyes a bit to wide. shes shaking a bit too*
they just um- proposed sort of-
oh m- come in-! what'd you zay??
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hey there loveliezz, so sorry to say thizz, but do you think you could dance...maybe with Crowley? his blog is @crowleytheserpentofeden, I'm sure he'll love you guyz!
Hi Sparrow! So. I need some more advice on the ssiblingzz WIP.
I’m not sure wether it should be in present or past tense. I’ll show you the same snippet in both forms.
past tense:
Footsteps. Growing quicker the closer they got. He knew who it was before he looked up. Them. They were worse for wear - brown skin tinged red by burns, boils scattered around their face like markings of damnation, black hair once neatly tied back hanging messily over their shoulders, but it was still them. They extended an arm towards him and he grasped their wrist as tight as he could.
“You have a nice trip down?” They asked sarcastically as they heaved him up out of the pit. They always were strong for such a small angel. Or whatever they were now…
present tense:
Footsteps. Growing quicker the closer they got. He knows who it was before he looks up. Them. They’re worse for wear - brown skin tinged red by burns, boils scattered around their face like markings of damnation, black hair once neatly tied back hanging messily over their shoulders, but it’s still them. They extend an arm towards him and he grasps their wrist as tight as he can.
“You have a nice trip down?” They ask sarcastically as they heave him up out of the pit. They always were strong for such a small angel. Or whatever they were now…
Thanks for the help :)
ooooh I really like present tense, that way we can get some epic flashbacks and it'll read more as such! ^^
