"Proud of you, you know?" Rossi says as he hands Aaron a whiskey soda.

"For finally retiring?" Aaron asks, smiling and taking the drink.

"For recognizing when it's healthy to step away," Emily Prentiss answers for Rossi, stepping up to the two of them.

"You're just saying that because you're in charge now," Aaron jokes.

Emily laughs and grins, "A little bit, but, no, really, boss. It's good for you. You look healthier than you have in years."

"Yeah?" Aaron nods. Emily is called away by Will and Aaron mutters to himself, "I wish everyone thought that."

"She definitely does, Aaron," David replies quietly, glancing as nonchalantly as possible over to you.

You, who hasn't yet spoken to Aaron other than a small wave and a "hi" when he'd gone into the office to formally resign. But you haven't spoken, not really. You'd entered the party - looking, in Aaron's opinion, rather ridiculously stunning in a deep, crimson summer evening dress that fits you just right, the just above ankle length skirt's ends fluttering in the breeze every so often - and murmured a shy and deeply impersonal, "congratulations, Hotch" before moving to the drinks table with JJ and Will. And this would've been entirely innocuous if you hadn't called him "Hotch".

Hotch.

Not what you'd typically call him. Not what he wants you to call him. No, he wants to return to the fondness and closeness the two of you had when he was on the team. But he doesn't know how to do that. And it seems as though you might not want to. He wasn't your boyfriend...he wasn't even close to that, but GOD he'd wanted to be. He still wants to be. He'd be happy to hold you in any capacity you'd be comfortable with, but this? This awkward and uncomfortable avoidance...this abject silence on which you've landed... It's almost too much to bear. Ever since they’d gone into WITSEC, Aaron’s heart had felt heavy. He’d thought it was because of Peter Lewis, but it’s still heavy now that they’re out of hiding. He's thrilled - beyond thrilled, really - to become a stay-at-home dad, but he knows he's leaving a whole lifetime of things behind. And if that includes you? He's not sure he'll be able to live with it.

"Hey," Spencer says, entering Dave's backyard. "Sorry, I'm late." Spencer gives Aaron a small hug and hands Dave a bottle of wine he brought.

"No worries," Dave assures him. "Tara's still running late."

"I'm sure," Spencer nods knowingly, straightening his navy blue cardigan, "traffic's dreadful."

"Hey, Spencer," you call jovially, waving to him from next to JJ. He beams and crosses to you, wrapping you in a huge hug.

And the ever so slight intimacy of this, the fact that he feels as though he could kill for a greeting like that from you makes Aaron almost throw up.

~~~

"Wondered where you'd run off to," your voice interrupts his thoughts. Aaron turns from where he's sitting, poised on the end of Dave's desk, staring out at his gorgeous view. The lawn, where the rest of the party was still taking place, wasn't visible from this window, which meant no one could see Aaron either, as he intended.

"I just, um, needed a breather," he lies uncomfortably. He feels like a coward for running away, but he could almost feel himself turning green as you greeted Spencer and then Tara with more affection than he dared to hope for since your slight coldness toward him had started. And a lawn full of profilers was hardly the audience to attempt to hide from.

"Sure," you say, and he tries not to take in your every move as you cross into the room, sitting down at Dave's desk, Aaron's back almost entirely to you. Neither of you says anything and it's just long enough that it would be almost more uncomfortable to break the silence.

Still, the silence feels like drowning. He wishes you could anchor him somehow. He can feel you staring at him, but can't bring himself to turn and face you. He needs you, but he almost can't bear it. He can't remember an uncomfortable silence with you because there never were any. Moments between the two of you were filled with work - he honestly had felt as though you could read his mind when the two of you were solving cases together - or easy conversation and laughter - he'd never known such a simple, straightforward comfort with anyone - or comfortable, companionable silence. Completely unlike this.

"It's a little odd, though," you break the silence, your voice, if Aaron's not mistaken, nearly cracking with the effort.

"What is?" he asks, barely looking over his shoulder, not sure his heart can make it if he sees you.

"You needing a breather from the people you're leaving behind," you almost whisper.

His brain is fully in control, ignoring the panging of his heart as he stands and turns to face you.

"Leaving behind?" he almost sputters.

You look away from him, biting your lip. You look almost ashamed, "Sorry, that's unfair."

"I'm not-"

You continue like he isn't speaking, standing from Dave's desk, still not looking Aaron in the eyes, "I know that Peter Lewis was...beyond anything really. And I know that Jack is the most important thing in the world and should be that's not wrong of you, and-"

Aaron crosses to your side of the desk, trying to "I'm not leav-"

"And I know that you have always gone above and beyond in this position and I know that you have lost...you have lost so much more than you deserved to lose, but-"

He steps closer, "I'm not leaving-"

"But...it's so terribly, terribly selfish of me, but Hotch I can't bear the thought of the BAU without you and...and while you were gone, it was hell. I was so worried about you and...and..."

You stop, taking a staggering breath. Aaron stops, just a breath away from you now.

"Aaron," he whispers when you don't start speaking again.

Your eyes, previously determinedly staring at his shoes, immediately jump to meet his own, "What?"

"You call me Aaron," he explains. "Not Hotch, never Hotch. Not from you, I can't...I can't bear it from you."

You swallow, but don't look away, "I...I couldn't call you Aaron. Not while you were gone."

"Why?" he asks, his hands itching to pull you to him, to take your hands, anything.

"Because," you rasp, a small tear falling down your cheek, "if something bad happened to you, I would never have to say that something bad happened to Aaron...to my Aaron."

"Your Aaron?" he asks, his voice barely above a breath, reaching up and wiping another tear as it rolls down your cheek, his hands awkwardly returning to his sides when he’s done.

"Yes," you reply. "And...now that you're leaving I can...it's so stupid, but I don't have to goodbye to...to my Aaron."

He stares down at you, not quite sure how to say what he needs to and knowing full well he can’t get through it without crying.

“I’m not leaving…” he starts, trailing off because he is leaving the BAU, but he begins again fairly easily, shocking for how heavy his heart feels, “I mean I’m leaving-I’m leaving the BAU. But I-I’m not leaving you. If you don’t want me to, that is.”

You stare at him, eyes wide as though you hadn’t expected it. Aaron doubles down, finding the strength to take your hands despite the shaking of his own.

“Because the thing is,” he continues, his voice barely above a whisper, so quiet he almost can’t hear it over how loud his heart is beating. “The thing is…is that I-I really rather like the idea of being yours. A-and if it suits you…I want you to be mine, too.”

You’re quiet still for only a moment before a tiny smile breaks over your lips, “Really?”

“Of course,” he sighs, his hands rushing to cup your jaw, “I-I’m so sorry I didn’t make that clear, but I would…I don’t think I’d be happy without you in my life.”

“I thought you…” you trail off, looking slightly embarrassed. “I was sure you’d forget about me.”

“Forget about you?” Aaron nearly laughs. “Oh, oh my girl, my heart would never let me forget you. It’s been carrying on without you for too long.”

You stare at him, a huge smile growing on your lips, “Well, then… I guess we’ll have to fix that.”

And as your lips brush against his for the first time, it’s as though the weight is finally lifted and Aaron’s heart feels lighter than it has in months.

~~~

~ You were like an angel to me.” - Hozier ~