#spring awakeing

Yesss of course!! This is in au where Moritz survives his suicide attempt, so tw for that. Enjoy :’)

wc: 524

11. “I almost lost you” kiss

Read on AO3

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Moritz felt a touch on his shoulder and rolled over in the bed. “Mmm?”

“Moritz?”

Moritz’s eyes snapped open, and just as he suspected, Ernst Robel is standing next to him, dark eyes shining with tears. Moritz slowly sat up, unable to tear his gaze from the brokenhearted boy next to him. 

“Ernst, I…” Moritz trailed off, unable to find the words. Ernst’s eyes shifted to the fluorescent lights and the rose arrangement on the table next to the hospital bed. 

“Who sent them?” he asked, gesturing to the flowers. 

“Martha,” Moritz chuckled nervously, trying to decipher if Ernst is mad at him or not. 

“Why?” 

“Well you know how she talks about letting her children grow like the weeds-”

“Why did you do it, Moritz?”

Moritz froze and swallowed hard, eyes cast downward at the sheet on his lap, pale as his own skin. 

“I didn’t have any other choice. I felt like no one cared and that I had no other option. The whole world was coming down around me and I thought everyone would be better off if I wasn’t here.” Moritz wanted to say more but Ernst had sat down next to him. 

“Can I hug you?” his voice cracked with tears and it made Moritz’s heart break. He nodded and melted into Ernst’s touch. Ernst head laid on Moritz’s shoulder and he could feel his friend’s body start to shake with sobs. Moritz couldn’t help but crumble, tears pouring for the upteenth time this week. Ernst was so warm and Moritz felt safe in his arms. He could feel Ernst’s tears wetting his shirt but he didn’t care, it was the best human contact he had felt in months. Ernst ran his fingers up in down Moritz’s back and he sighed. He could smell Ernst’s shampoo and his sweater was soft against Moritz’s face, he felt like he could drown in everything Ernst was. 

“Don’t do that ever again,” Ernst whispered through sobs.

“I won’t, I promise.”

“I love you,” Ernst whispered. Moritz froze and felt Ernst’s body tense. 

Moritz broke away from the hug to stare at Ernst’s face which was flushed beet red. Moritz wanted to say something, tell Ernst he loved him too and probably had since seventh grade, that he was the person Moritz would have missed most if he had died. Instead he leaned forward and connected their lips for a moment and pulled back before Ernst could react. 

“I’m so sorry!” Moritz gasped and tried to apologize more, but Ernst pressed his lips against Moritz’s. His hands cupped Moritz’s cheeks. Moritz wasn’t really sure to put his hands until he felt Ernst guide his arms to his waist. Ernst’s hands move back to Moritz’s face and he sighed into Ernst’s mouth. 

When they finally break apart Ernst laid his head on Moritz’s chest. Moritz’s hand finds Ernst’s and he feels Ernst’s thumb trace the back of his hand. Moritz’s chin rested on the top of Ernst’s head and in that moment Moritz felt so safe; silently thanking whatever higher being there may be that he was alive. 

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