#spouse of knowledge

The Fount of Knowledge rarely had regrets, his pursuit of knowledge did not allow for them. But he was unfortunately learning what real regret was. It has been a few weeks since the argument the two of you had, he'd figured that it would give you both enough time to cool off; for you to rethink the foolish notion of him 'running away' from his duties as the Fount of Knowledge.

Except you… had simply vanished. Your room was empty, a faint layer of dust already settling across the desk. The scholars of the Spire simply shrugging when he asked them about you. One looked at him with pity as they sighed. "They left, Fount of Knowledge. They claimed the Spire did not have the knowledge they sought."

The Spire? Being unable to provide the knowledge you were after? Unbelievable! He almost scoffed in the poor scholars face before they shakily hand him a letter, your handwriting scrawled across the paper. He didn't bother to listen to whatever else the unfortunate cookie said, snatching the letter and teleporting directly back to his office.

The Fount's hands shook as he ripped open the envelope.

Dear Fount of Knowledge,

By the time you're reading this letter I'd have already left. While I'll cherish our time together I have come to realize we are two separate beasts. You were right, I'll never understand you or your purpose. I was born into this world with no purpose, forced into an unfamiliar place where I knew nothing and could do nothing.

I've come to realize that what I seek cannot be found within the Spire of All Knowledge. My purpose- if there is one; is not here. Humans are inherently selfish, it's something that runs in our blood (or jam, I suppose). I must follow what I know, which is to selfishly seek a life I desire.

Knowledge is vital but I'd rather live the experience than read it. I want to experience the world I've read about, the soda oceans and sugar snow peaks.

And perhaps, foolishly, I'd like to find a place to truly call home; with a family I can call my own. You are not willing to give up your duties, this I have finally come to terms with, but I cannot give up my selfish desires.

I wish you the best of luck-

The letter was promptly balled up and thrown across the room, the Fount's hair flares, writhing as though it were its own entity. He harshly rubs at his eyes, willing the tears to stop before they could fully form.

You! You!!! How dare you!? He wanted to commit to his anger, commit to his rage that you'd so cruelly abandon him!

But he couldn't. He'd always known that you wanted to see Earthbread, to explore its every crevice and learn its secrets. Yet you abstained, chained to the Spire by his own selfishness. His need to keep the one cookie who treated him not as the Fount of Knowledge, but as a regular cookie with limits and feelings. You'd wanted to explore it with him but knew he'd refuse. It shouldn't have been a surprise that eventually you'd give up on him and go on your own.

Perhaps the argument was the last push you needed. The last reminder that his duties to the Witches who refused to answer him were more important than you. The last straw as he picked the cookies who spat in the face of his Truth over you who had always accepted it.

He ran his hands through his hair, soothing it back down. He had no idea when you'd written this letter, you barely spoke to the scholars or students who littered the Spire so he doubted you'd ever tell any of them. Hell, the scholar who you'd given the letter to was one you only spoke to 7 times! The Fount paced back and forth across his office, trying to remember every moment where you'd express interest in something.

You'd talked about seeing the Sugar of Happiness' garden, would you go there? No… you'd once mentioned that the overly cloying scent of sugar would probably make you nauseous.

The Spice lands? Also a no, you'd mentioned your dough was far too sensitive to the spices after spending a few hours with the Herald of Change. His mere spicy presence causing your dough issues.

He mentally goes through what you'd said about the other Virtue's territories; the pros and cons you'd discussed about each location. The Salt Lands were also a no, your dough too fragile to withstand the dry air. The Flour Peaks were a no, the faerie kingdom was a no, he desperately rattles his brain for some sort of answer.

He freezes as it comes to him, the dreaded truth that he, himself, wanted to deny.

Crispia. You were planning on leaving, and you'd probably meant it. You weren't just going to leave him, were you? You were going to leave the continent as a whole.

Why would you stay with one of the other Virtues? You already said you didn't want to watch him destroy himself for others, staying with the Virtues meant you'd still see him on occasion. Leaving the continent made the most sense in your odd mind, there'd be no risk of seeing him ever. No risk of hearing of his downfall should it come, just as you warned him it would many times.

His heart hammers in his chest as he rushes to open a map, knocking everything off his desk in his frantic movements. He glares down at it as he mentally calculates routes and how long it'd take to travel; if he were lucky you would've traveled on foot for most of the route to the nearest harbor. If he were unlucky? It would be too late; and you'd already be an ocean away.

He nods to himself, quickly changing his form as he rushes through a portal to one of the nearby villages. He just has to hope you didn't get too far, and hope to the Witches you'd listen to him.

---------------------------------------------------

You'd never been to the beach before, but even you could tell the stark difference between a regular Earth beach and an Earthbread beach. The air was sweet instead of salty, the ocean bubbled in ways the salt water couldn't in your previous life. The only similarity was the tranquil beauty of the moon shining upon the gentle waves that crash against the sand.

Your heart weighed heavy. You know you'll regret the way you left, but Truth was valuable, and yours was that you had to leave. You hope the Fount would understand, he couldn't give up what he was made for, just as you couldn't give up what you'd dreamed of. You needed to leave the Spire, you had to see the world and all it was.

The cookies you'd met on your journey so far were kind, accepting you into traveling groups and allowing you the occasional cart ride when your dough would grow weary. It was exhausting, yet exhilarating. The soreness of your dough was a welcome change to the monotony of everlasting studies and lonely readings.

It helped that you weren't in much of a hurry. Offering to help when you could to pay for their kindness in turn. The work was also a welcome distraction from the grief and worry you felt.

The Fount would be fine, you reason. You were simply paranoid, refusing to see it from the perspective of an immortal God. You were a fool who viewed it from your own perspective, he had every right to get upset with you. You just hope your letter to him would pacify his worries about you.

You were not a child who needed protecting from the cruel world, you were an adult and you needed the freedom to discover who you were in this new world. Pristine Milk Cookie The Fount of Knowledge had taught you enough about Earthbread that you could manage on your own.

None of the cookies you'd met so far had even suspected you to be something different, and you'd managed to play up your fragility extremely well, to the point where when danger appeared every other cookie in the group had rushed to defend you. You felt bad about taking advantage of their kindness, the reality being that you could defend yourself, but the risk of them realizing you were not bleeding jam was far greater than the guilt.

Your deceit would weigh on you, you're sure, but it's for your greater good.

You close your eyes, willing the guilt away, soon you'd leave everything behind. Crispia was waiting, and you were eager to see everything you'd denied yourself for the years you'd been in the Spire. It wasn't fair to either you or the Fount. You would never understand him, and he'd never leave with you.

A voice calls out to you, whispering your name breathlessly and almost reverently. You blink your eyes open in confusion, none of the travelers you came to this village with were ever told your name, so who could be calling you?

Pristine Milk Cookie The Fount of Knowledge, clad in his civilian disguise, stood a ways away. He stares at you with wide eyes and shaking hands, his chest heaving with exertion. He looked like an absolute mess, vest unbuttoned and shirt untucked with his normally neat hair mussed up from what you could only assume was him rushing about.

"I finally found you," his voice heavy with both grief and relief as he approaches you, reaching out towards you as though to embrace you; though he falters as you step away from him.

"Why are you here?" You didn't mean for your voice to sound as cold as it did, and you can't help but feel bad as he flinches. "Didn't you get my letter?" You tilt your head at him.

The Fount of Knowledge's face flushes as you scrutinize him, his hands moving to play with the lapels of his disheveled vest. He looked far more like a regular cookie now than he had the entire time you'd known him. He looked… small. Weak. Like if you glare at him too harshly he'd wither away into crumbs.

"I… did not read it fully." You narrow your eyes at his confession. Seriously? Before you can even open your mouth to scold him he continues. "It hurt. To know I'd chased you away," he glances back up into your eyes before looking away again, "I was upset at first, that you'd abandon me… but you were right." The Fount frowns as he stares over the ocean. "I, in my cowardice, refused to let you go. I kept you in a gilded cage despite knowing you wished to be free- all because I was too afraid to lose you."

You, in turn, frown. "Fount of Knowledge," you don't see the way he flinches at the name, expression warping as though you'd struck him, "you had refused to let me go, yes, but I was the fool who tried to refuse to leave without you. Not understanding you and refusing to even try." You turn away from him to glower at the moon. "You're right, in that I'll never understand you."

He opens his mouth, but doesn't get the chance to say anything as you continue. "I relent that I'll never understand what it's like to have a purpose. To be born for something or have it be bestowed upon me." His mouth shuts with an audible click as his expression wilts, guilt worming through his dough and soul jam. "I shouldn't have pushed you so hard, to try and force you to abandon everything you stood for."

You take a deep breath. "Fount of Knowledge, I'm sor-"

"Don't." You almost squawk as you're swung around to face him, his hands squeezing your shoulders almost painfully. He looked hurt, like you'd struck him directly. "Don't call me that."

You look at him in confusion. "That's your-"

"Please don't." He chokes. "Please don't call me that. I'm not-" The cookie pauses, fighting for the proper words. "I'm not…" he leans forward, pressing his forehead against your sternum.

"For you… I don't want to be the Fount of Knowledge." His voice was strained, as though the confession were physically painful. "I've thought about it. Considered it. I'd never wanted anything but knowledge before I'd met you." You stood stock still, even as your clothes grew damp from his tears. His hands move from your shoulders to your back as he embraces you, his face moving from being buried against your chest to being buried in your shoulder.

"I'm scared, of how much I desire it." The virtue shook as he held you, and you gently wrap your arms around him, feeling him sag in relief at the feeling. "I want so badly to run away with you, but I'm scared," his confession was muffled against your dough, "I'm terrified of who I'll be if I abandon my duties. Without the Fount of Knowledge who would I be?"

You gently peel away from him, taking his reluctant face in your hands as he steps back.

"You'd be Pristine Milk Cookie." you smile fondly at him. "My dearest friend who took the time out of his busy life to guide me, who protected me, who despite my ignorance had treated me as an adult instead of an annoying overgrown child." His face flushes as he glances away from your genuine gaze.

You dare to bring his face closer, pressing a kiss to his forehead where his mark would be in his other form.

"You are my dearest companion no matter who you are or what you choose." His hands come up to cradle yours where they rest on his cheeks. "Even if we are apart, whether by towns or by continents, you are still important to me." You smile at him, though his expression is still morose.

He glances out at the sea again, the moon dipping further to the horizon. You briefly wonder what he's thinking about.

You don't get a real answer, as he suddenly drops to one knee. Your hands move back on instinct but he keeps his hold on your hands, moving to hold both of them between you two.

"I want to run away with you." Your eyes widen in shock, mouth falling agape at his declaration. "It is impulsive and selfish, but… you were right. The cookies… they've turned their backs to the Truth. It doesn't matter what I do or how I do it, it'll only cause me pain to continue on the path chosen for me." He leans forward to press the back of your hands to his forehead. "The Witches… they'd left us long ago… would she even care if I strayed? Or would she encourage me to choose what makes me happy?"

You weren't sure what to say. What could you say? He nuzzles his face against your hands one more time before pulling back to examine your expression.

"…would you have me? Even if I weren't the Fount of Knowledge? Even if I were a regular cookie?"

You both knew it was a stupid question, but you answer it all the same.

"Of course I'd have you no matter what, Soul jam or not, emissary of the gods or not, regular cookie or not-" You yelp as he lunges at you, wrapping you in a hug that almost hurt from how tight it was. You return it regardless, hands balling into fists as you grip at his vest like a lifeline.

You squeak as he crashes his lips into yours, though you immediately melt into the kiss. He pulls back after a bit, face flushed and glasses askew as he examines your own love struck expression.

He presses his forehead to yours, and you giggle as you reach up to fix his glasses.

"I love you, Pristine Milk Cookie." You whisper smile growing as his face flushes even bluer.

A: Attraction (What do they find attractive in a partner?)

Pristine Milk finds curiosity attractive. The unwaverable appetite for knowledge no matter how useless that knowledge may be, the never ending search for little facts that do nothing for you other than just something to know. He also values someone who finds wonder in little things, like how a butterfly flaps its wings or the way the wind blows. He takes a lot of things for granted, so having someone who will stop to appreciate the little things is valuable.

B: Banter (How playful is your relationship?)

He can be very playful at times, especially after abandoning his title as the Fount of Knowledge. He loves playing minor pranks on his partner and adores it when they play them back on him. Without all of the stress of being an emissary he's become far more relaxed and shows it, even going as far as dragging his partner back into bed if he's not quite ready to start his day (and ignoring you pushing at his head to get him off).

C: Celebrate (How do they celebrate special events?)

Pristine Milk prefers his own milestones to be quiet (his "birth", for example), but if its a shared milestone or solely yours he goes all out. Star Sapphire and Sweet Apple help but he's the sole culprit behind planning. All of your favorite foods, decorations relevant to your interests no matter how odd, every gift he could possible think to get and buy, he even allows visitors to the Spire so you can have your friends with you (though… they are blindfolded by Star Sapphire and Sweet Apple when led there).

Overall he's still showy just like his corrupted variant would be, but it's less about him and more about you.

D: Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Dates with Pristine Milk are often quiet, reading together, watching a movie, taking a walk, mundane things that don't require too much energy or going out. Though he's not opposed to going out to restaurants or the whatnot, he just prefers quite time with you and him.

And, on occasion, the kids if its a family event like a theme park.

E: Entranced (What about you mesmerizes them?)

At first it wasn't much, but the more he got to know you the more it was everything about you. The way you talk about the things that interest you, the little habits you might not notice like chewing on your pen or your lip or the way you fidget with the pages of books, small little minute tidbits that can easily be overlooked by others are things that he zones in on now.

He focuses on the little things that make you "you".

F: Feelings (When did they get them?)

His feelings were a slow burn of over 400 years. You going from a simple curiosity and pet project to see if he could "rehabilitate" a so called "human" into a cookie, to a friend, to a lover.

His feelings built up gradually from just being excited to see you and relax and be a normal cookie and not a god to being genuinely upset if you were too busy to spend time with him. He doesn't acknowledge those feelings until you finally leave, and then it all crashes on him at once.

It's not that he was in denial, either. It's that he hadn't experienced any of those feelings before and couldn't recognize or categorize them.

G: Gifts (What gifts do they give you?)

Typically books, though he does branch out into things he'd crafted by hand (plushies, paintings, clothes). Everything is relevant to your interests and themed around them. He also favors useful gifts over pointless things that take up space, so the plushies were enchanted to be able to assist with small tasks.

H: Health (How do they take care of you when injured or ill?)

Being a former emissary he was actually baked resilient to diseases, so he gets clingy when you're sick and not feeling well. There is no getting rid of him when you're bed ridden, and he only teleports out for a few minutes to fetch you food and medication before rushing back.

With injuries he's even more clingy, as the risk of somebody realizing you aren't bleeding jam is far too great and he's not about to have some… unfavorable suspects target you for nefarious reasons. Due to your magical resistance healing magic is ineffective so he deals with your injuries the old fashioned way of "close the wound with dressing and ensure that it remains clean". Pristine Milk also no longer allows you to do much of anything that could put stress on the wound or your body and if given the chance would carry you around the entire Spire in his arms.

I: Idealistic (What is their ideal life with you like?)

Marriage with a small family, though he's already achieved both so he's technically living the dream. He'd prefer to move away from the Spire, but due to circumstances outside of his control (nightmares of corrupted versions of himself sneaking through one of the Spires time rifts and the Spire itself calling out to him) he just accepts that living in the Spire is a necessity. He at least still has his little family of you and his students, with plans of finding a way to have a biological child through magical means.

J: Jealousy (How jealous are they?)

It heavily depends on if its a mortal fling or not, with mortals he understands they're a small part of your life (maybe around 80 to 100 years) while he has you for eternity, but if its another immortal cookie flirting with you he becomes a bit more jealous.

Though he also has to deal with the knowledge that his own soul jam visits you in your dreams, but it's not like he can do anything about that jealousy.

K: Kiss (What are kisses with them like?)

Soft and sweet and most often chaste, he gives kisses often but they're so innocent it makes you giggly and giddy the rest of the day. His favorite places to kiss you are on the hands and anywhere on your face. He adores taking advantage of your height difference to press kisses to your forehead when you aren't paying attention.

Pristine Milk's lips taste a little like blueberry and are very smooth.

L: Love (How do they show that they love you?)

Little actions that show that he's thinking of you, things like making you coffee or tea, having the book you were reading moved to your favorite seating area before you even realize you forgot it, having a bath drawn when you look exhausted.

He also shows affection through physical touch, like resting his hand on your back when he's standing next to you or wrapping his arm around your waist.

M: Misunderstanding (How do they handle a misunderstanding in the relationship?)

Despite being like 2000+ years old Pristine Milk can be childish at times. He'll throw tantrums if you upset him too much or sulk if he gets too jealous, and it takes a lot of pampering for him to not whine about his "mistreatment".

Despite his childish nature he isn't stupid; he can parse when it's a genuine misunderstanding caused by miscommunication and will react maturely about it.

N: Nourishment (Who does the cooking and caretaking?)

Pristine Milk is the one who handles a vast majority of the cooking, this is in spite of the fact that he doesn't eat much or at all since the Soul Jam supplies most of his energy. He finds the act of cooking and cleaning to be relaxing, a menial task that doesn't require the use of his brain outside of remembering recipes, occasional conversions if he's making a smaller portion, or what cleaning chemical is safe for cookie use and what's only safe for him to use.

Of course he isn't opposed to you handling it, but will often distract you so he can take over.

O: Observant (How good are they at reading you?)

He's gotten extremely good at reading you over the centuries you've known each other, and he can always tell when you're upset before you've even fully registered that you're upset. He also recognizes the sparkle of curiosity or mischief in your eyes when you're about to go down a rabbit hole of useless information and prepares snacks and drinks accordingly.

P: Pet Names (What do they call you)

My love, my dear, my muse, all sorts of sappy shit. He does frequently use the possessive "my" but will sometimes drop it.

Q: Quality Time (How do they spend their down time with you?)

Reading primarily, though he does enjoy lazing about in bed with you as well. Takes full advantage of his portals to quickly and easily grab whatever could be needed, whether its food or drinks. He does tend to get pouty when your free time ends and you have to get back to work. Pristine Milk even goes as far as latching onto you so you're forced to drag him half out of bed to get away.

R: Romance (How romantic are they?)

Extremely romantic. Primarily in the little ways that show you that he's always thinking about you. Fixing your favorite beverage so its fresh for you, leaving your favorite snacks in your favorite reading spots, leaving you hand written notes wishing you the best day possible.

S: Sacrifice (What are they willing to give up for you?)

Pristine Milk gave up everything for you, his title as the Fount of Knowledge, his position as an emissary of the witches, he was even willing to give up his Soul Jam and live as a normal cookie with you. Pristine Milk was willing to sacrifice anything and everything to keep you, and went through with that promise by cloaking the Spire in mist so it's entirely hidden from all of cookiekind so he could run away to explore the world with you.

He was even willing to risk his very dough by locking it under the silver tree, just to ensure Earthbread was safe for you to enjoy to the fullest, though that thankfully ended up being unnecessary.

T: Temper (Do they get upset with you?)

Very rarely will he get genuinely upset with you, the last time was when you'd had arguments about giving up his title as Fount.

When he does get upset with you he tries to communicate it plainly, though if it's something extremely minor he will be a drama queen about it just to get more of your attention.

U: Understanding (How well do they understand you?)

He sometimes struggles to understand you due to cultural differences and the fact that you fairly regularly reference human things. He does absolutely adore learning to understand you though. He has a whole series of notebooks solely dedicated to writing down your odd habits and sayings.

V: Vent (How open are they about their emotions?)

At first he's still fairly closed off, but he has slowly learned to open up. Pristine Milk wants to value open communication, and that also involves he himself opening up about his emotions and feelings.

It takes a couple hundred years but he does eventually tell you about his full past, describing the witches and their roles.

W: Wild Card

Pristine Milk is constantly fighting for your attention; primarily due to the fact that the Light of Deceit, Light of Truth, and the Spire are all also vying for your attention and affections. The Lights regularly visit you in your dreams and the Spire itself favors you and shows it by shuffling the rooms to your benefit.

If Pristine Milk ever upsets you he immediately gets lost in the Spire with it moving rooms and adjusting hallways so he never makes it to his goal. It also changes every portrait in the halls to be of you, just to remind him he fucked up.

X: XOXO (How physically affectionate are they?)

Extremely affectionate. He loves holding you or touching you in some way, whether it be holding you from behind to rest his chin on your head or holding your hand and rubbing the back of it with his thumb. He gets especially clingy when jealous, practically wrapping himself around your body possessively.

He also loves it when you reciprocate, and fully expects you to shower him in kisses.

Y: Yearning (Do they miss you?)

Every day, every hour, every second you're away. He sends you constant letters when you're away and sometimes even teleports to you specifically to get his fill of attention, even if it uses up all his energy to travel to another continent.

Z: Zzz (What is it like sharing a bed?)

He's extremely clingy and loves spooning, so even if you try to push him away in your sleep he clings desperately. He runs a little on the colder side, so if you run hot when you sleep he's a wonderful sleeping partner. If you run cold you'll probably need extra blankets to survive.