#spoonfuls

The mundane has a sense of satisfaction to it now. While I've never had trouble with laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. Just the fact I'm doing it in my own place I'm renting with my own money feels satisfying.

I'm not really doing this on my own, my mom is only 10 minutes down the road. And I plan on visiting at least once a week to help with things she'd struggle with around the house (and also because she cooks as much as I do and always has leftovers for me). But I'm still responsible for myself in a way I wasn't beforehand.

The fridge and pantry are still full, but its entirely on my dime and my prerogative. The apartment is clean and (relatively) organized, but its only because I tend to every corner myself.

Even paying bills is giving me a sense of fulfillment because each one is my own little responsibility. I decide on the internet, I decide on how much I blast the AC, I decide what I think is right for this space.

I moved out for a couple years when I went to college, but my parents both supported me completely through it. The rent was on their dime and they insisted I do not pay them back for it. While I was "on my own," it was still with an asterisk at the end.

At first I was panicking because I had such a good gig ripped out from under me due to gross incompetence from higher ups and desperate cost reductions, but after talking with some friends of mine I've sort of found peace.

As much as I liked my previous job I have to acknowledge it wasn't doing me any favors. I was essentially contracted to clean up a bunch of bullshit in the system and did it way earlier than expected so I basically did nothing but watch movies and play video games for the last two years. Not a lot of actual experience was earned but at least I can say I have two years of administrative work under my belt for one of the Big Three.

But I don't like the field that much and after getting an insider perspective I can confidently say the automotive industry is going down hard. No one's retiring so those "tens of thousands of jobs they'll desperately need filled in" are no where to be found. Hell, they can't even PAY their old employees to quit. Not to mention they're tightening their belts hard now that EVs are proving to be a bad business investment and they're wasted countless dollars on it.

First I was told not to waste my time with trades and THEN I was told my current field was going to be guaranteed success. So far my elders have been wrong on both accounts so I'll just take their advice with a mound of salt from here on out.