in coming to the realization that despite wanting desperately to go back to therapy this year but not being able to afford it due to my insurance changing...i’m really struggling. I am. Of course I’m pulling out every healthy coping mechanism I know to help me through this but honestly? I’m treading water. I was doing horribly at the end of 2018 and I had a bit of a fire under me due to the new year new me feelings going around but...I’m mentally ill. I will always have mental illnesses and...frankly, there’s nothing to do about it but pick myself up from the floor and keep going, you know? I am struggling immensely. From my best friend ending our friendship last month, to other factors that I prefer not to talk about...I’m having an extremely rough time. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it hurts my eyes and no matter how long I run towards it, it only seems to get further and further away. Sometimes...sometimes it feels so completely in my grasp and I reach for it but...i can’t get it in my hands. It gets farther away. Sometimes it feels as if I’ll never remember what it was like to be in the light in the first place. i’m really struggling and i just don’t know where to go from here. I feel like I’m always fighting this losing battle with my mind and it is always exhausting.
