#spontaneousthinking

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i feel like it wouldn't be exceptionally ongoing sadness or anything, idk. i'm not saying i would want people to be constantly sad all the time. idk. but sometimes i do feel like everyone's life would be easier if i wasn't in it.

i wake up next to you to the sound of the roaring train at five forty-five in the morning. the warmth of the sunlight spilling through the old-fashioned hotel pull-down blinds splashes your sleeping face, and pours through your golden eyelashes like sunshine on a stained-glass chapel window. (right now feels far more holy than any sunday spent in church, where i'm distanced for not being devout. (i am devout, i am devout to you, don't they understand?)). the aurora casts soft shadows on your freckled face and mess of tangled bed hair, shining on your naked shoulders that have been bespeckled with kisses from the sun almost as many times as they have been with kisses from me. i spend so much time thinking about where i want to be, but at five forty-five in the morning, waking up with your bare chest rising and falling beneath my cheek, and your arm draped protectively around me as i listen to the sound of your soft breaths and your strong heart, i realise that this is where.

how tell your family you love them what to do when you fall in love that it's okay to fall in love with boys or girls or both or whoever else you meet how to catch a bus how to pay taxes how to like yourself how to make your friends like themselves what to do when you feel sad how not to hurt yourself how not to hurt others what to do when you do hurt someone how to say sorry and mean it how to be confident how to be less emotional  

idk.