#spojen

My father is a broken puzzle

But I never took the time to find the missing pieces

So I never understood

how his jaw grew jagged like a jig zaw

his smile a half crooked construction

that is always at work.

He is a builder building for perfection

So when I grew to be six

His crane ceased to cradle the structure of his son

And he started digging for dirt 

Like there were diamonds underneath the bed rocks

So he was never there to rock me to sleep

was never there when the boogeyman made the floor boards creak

Was never there to be understood

So I could never read the stories behind the wrinkles of his face.

My father’s forehead is an ocean of wrinkles

Like each wave carries a piece of a story

That is yet to be deciphered

But his touch has become so foreign

Even current events fail to touch

the shore’s of my skin

when all i wanted was the high tides of his regards

But most days he’d be too busy working

So I never understood the blueprints in his palms

See, My father is a broken puzzle 

But I never took the time to find the missing pieces

So when I started bleeding the same puzzle pieces

I was puzzled.

At 19

You’d think i’d be wise enough to put one and two together

But I was afraid that one might not exactly fir with two

That through the years I have become a broken puzzle piece

that will not fit under my father’s arms

I never understood my father.

Like a  puzzle

I have always thought myself as a piece

But when I saw my father’s blueprint

I understood

Why he had to let go at 6

He was worried his arms

wouldn’t be able to support the weight

of the potential he saw

So he tired himself in making

a platform for his pieces.

So while I was asleep 

he would make the floor boards creak

The way he wanted perfection for his pieces

grinding flesh to bone

Just so we could be lifted a few inches off the ground

See,

This is as fly as I want to get.

The way my father is a broken puzzle

But I am his