#spndrabbles

50. "Where's your Christmas spirit, Scrouge?"

“Just let me die.” Dean pleaded with Castiel who stood looking helplessly over the hunter.  “I-I can’t. We can fix this.” Castiel whispered hesitantly, wanting to believe the words he spoke but saw no way to make them true. Dean was on his knees in front of the angel as tears spilled over his eyes and his shoulders were slumped. He looked defeated.  “No. We can’t. You know we can’t. I am a vampire, A MONSTER!” Dean screamed, causing Castiel to cringe. “I have already killed someone, don’t make me go through that again.” Dean shook his head helplessly like he was trying to make himself erase the memories of killing someone and drinking their blood but it was such a vivid memory, once he knew he's never get rid of. What scared him more if the fact that he wanted to do it again, and again. The angel lowered to his knees as well and looked into the deep green eyes that he knew so well. They haven't changed at all despite everything. Castiel, for the first time, pitied Dean. The angel always saw Dean as a man who would never give up, no matter what obstacle he was facing. Castiel has always admired that about him and decided it was his job to make Dean that man again.  “Dean..." Cas began, "Drink from me.” Cas spoke quickly allowing himself no chance for hesitation. Dean didn't react at first, like he didn't fully understand what the angel was saying. "Did you hear me Dean?" Cas softly shook Dean's shoulders.  “I heard you and I... I can't. I will kill you. You don’t know how good you smell, Cas.” Dean laughed humorlessly looking into the angel's baby blue eyes. Dean’s senses were so heightened that he could hear the beat of Castiel’s heart. He could hear how it raced when Castiel came near him. Normally that would of made Dean's heart race and make his stomach all nervous but now it was just a reminder of what he was. He wasn't supposed to hear that. It wasn't human. It wasn't natural. Before Dean could stop himself he leaned closer to the angel’s neck. Castiel's pulse quickened but he didn't dare move as Dean's lips came within inches of his skin. “Cas get away from me.” The hunter blurted as the spell of Cas's blood was broken. He got off his knees, backing away from the Angel. “Dean I know you can control yourself. Just bite me.” Cas followed the hunter; walking up so close that Dean could feel Castiel's warm breathe on his face. They stood like that for a moment, locking eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you. I've done nothing but hurt you.” Dean took another step backwards and his back hit a wall. He pleaded with his eyes for the angel to understand. Instead Cas brought his arms to either side of Dean's body, creating a prison. Some distant part of Dean didn't want to escape as he relished in the closeness. “Why are you doing this, Cas?” Dean asked. “I’m doing this to save your life.” Castiel told Dean sternly, “The idea of you not being around is to painful to consider.” Cas said matter-of-factly. Dean stopped and considered the words. They were almost foreign to his ears because no one, other then Sam, has ever said that to him. "How do you know I won't hurt you?" Dean whispered, averting his eyes to the ground. "Because..." Castiel began but paused, trying to put his thoughts into words, "I know you. I know how strong you are and I know what you're capable of." Castiel gripped Dean's face, bringing the hunters gaze up from the floor. After a moment Dean gave a slight nod of the head causing Cas let out a sigh of relief. Slowly, Dean reached for the angels arm, bringing Cas’s wrist to his lips. Cas nodded, and Dean slowly bit down, lapping up the blood with his tongue. The angel grunted in pain as Dean closed his eyes and got lost in the sensation. Castiel’s blood in particular tasted better. It tasted like it was from another world. More wild and intoxicating. Dean couldn't stop himself as the angel grew weaker. The hunter didn't even notice; still lost. His senses over loaded by incredible hunger. “Dean..." The angel whispered, "You need to stop. You will kill me.” Castiel said weakly, trying to pry his wrist away from Dean. A growl escaped the hunter’s lips as he continued drinking. “You can fight this. Dean it’s me. I know you can do this.” Cas placed his free hand on the side of Dean’s face. Dean distantly heard the angel plead with him but it was the touch that got through to him. A touch that he could recognize anywhere, no matter how lost he was. Instantly he stopped. He pulled his lips away from Cas’s wrist, pushing back against the wall as he tried to get as far away from the angel as he could. “I need you to get away from me.” Cas did as Dean said, backing away. They were both breathing heavily and they exchanged a meaningful look. “We can do this Dean.” The angel gave a tired smile. “Thank you.” Dean breathed.  “Always happy to bleed for you.” Castiel whispered.