#spn2.01

the episode considers sam's relationship with john through this allegory. at this point john still has not made an appearance in the show, so allegorical placeholders like bill carlton and jake devins (1x03), reverend sorenson (1x07), and now larry in this episode are vital to developing an understanding of who john is, especially through the filtered lens that sam and dean provide. who they think john is. 1x08 is the first time that sam and dean really go head-to-head over The John Issue and take ideologically opposite standpoints, and they do this through the medium of matt and his father; sam encourages matt, and dean takes a reactionary stance in favor of larry. the family becomes a battleground for their own issues, and so the reconciliation that larry and matt have at the end of the episode is therefore a thinly veiled blueprint for what sam and john must do in order to overcome their differences.

that is, john must be willing to give up on his ambitions—hunting azazel, his revenge quest—and sam must be willing to sacrifice his "interest"—which must be his pursuit of a normal life, also read as a pursuit of independence. through this reading, the only way to become a big happy family once again is to abandon azazel for good (it's important to note that sam's hunt for azazel is itself a hunt for his own revenge and therefore his independence and, realizing that revenge, a return to normal life). they both must turn away from azazel's path and to each other, or they will forever be at odds.

conveniently enough, this is exactly what they aim to do between 1x22 and 2x01. john sacrifices himself to azazel in order to spare dean's life; he is giving up his revenge quest in the most literal and extreme way he possibly can. he chooses his children over his revenge, and he is freed of the anger and hostility at the end of it all.

sam, at the end of 1x22, equally gives up his revenge by refusing to kill azazel and by choosing his family (mostly dean) over his revenge. he then spends the entirety of 2x01 trying to dissuade john from seeking out azazel, because he is no longer concerned with hunting him—dean is all that matters now. and it's from this point on, too, that he entirely abandons his dream of a normal life. he sacrifices his "interests," and at the end of 2x01 he is able to find a certain peace with john (and indeed he is the one who finds john dead, the one who reacts most violently on screen, and the one who vehemently defends john to dean throughout the rest of the season).

the development here is so crazy. shadow is an episode about sam choosing his revenge (fate) over his family: when dean wants to "be a family again" sam shuts this down, saying he can't return to the way things were before. but in my time of dying shows sam repeating dean's words almost exactly: they were just starting to "be brothers again."

sam maintains a distance from dean throughout season 1 because he can't commit to him—revenge is too forefront in his mind, and dean is the opposition to sam's revenge. the more he pursues revenge, the farther he gets from dean. this is what azazel and meg want for him: they're leading him away from dean, deliberately so, and as they do that he gets closer to fulfilling his destiny.

it's not until devil's trap that sam chooses dean over his revenge once and for all, committing to his brother in a way that he hasn't been able to up until that point. he abandons his revenge and picks dean over his destiny and they achieve a deeper, more twisted and tangled-up relationship as a result.

and in the exact next episode, sam is quoting dean. it signifies that he's on the same page as dean now, or he's trying to be, and he's committed to the relationship they've developed over the fate he's supposed to be pursuing. it's a complete 180 flip from how he thought just 7 episodes earlier—their new relationship comes with new rules, and we see sam's definition of this relationship again across the next few episodes too, when he feels betrayed and abandoned because dean is keeping secrets from him and won't talk to him (compare to bloody mary, where he himself refuses to be honest with dean because "there are some things he needs to keep to himself").

and i want to postulate on this concept of the righteous man. both john and dean are considered by this prophecy to be "righteous men," and of course they are both candidates for michael's vessel. it's in their blood.

but at the same time, this is a destiny that must still be fulfilled. action is required to create a righteous man—aka, they have to be sent to hell in the first place. they have to become worthy of being michael's vessel through their participation in starting the apocalypse.

john dies in 201. he's at peace; he's accepted the terms of his deal, and he's accepted his fate. his soul and the colt for dean's life.

there are two conflicts presented across season 1:

the first is on the topic of revenge. ultimately, the conclusion is that revenge is pointless, it will lead to no positive outcome—the past has already happened, and once blood is spilled there's no getting out of it, no stopping. knowing what happened to her brother didn't make kathleen feel better about his death. max killing his family didn't make his pain go away.

the second is on the topic of family. it's a more subtle theme, i guess, suggesting that family will invite destruction to everyone around them. the tagline "the good of the many outweighs the good of the one" is proven to be erroneous and ruinous: by choosing the family, by choosing to protect loved ones, great harm will inevitably come to the outsiders. we see this foreshadowed in 111; we see this exemplified when dean shoots and kills an innocent man in 121.

so choosing revenge and choosing family are both bad choices. but the conflict of season 1 is revenge vs family—sam as the protagonist has to choose one or the other. he's not given a third option.

john, however, finds that third option. he abandons his quest for revenge by relinquishing the colt to azazel, and he abandons his family by sacrificing himself. the act of sacrifice is seen as a selfish one (see: crossroad blues), one committed by a man who cares more about his own feelings than that of the person he saved. this is the recurring narrative throughout seasons 2 and 3—it's not something that john did for his son, it's something he did for himself. and in fact, his act of sacrifice puts sam and dean in more danger by leaving them without a weapon to combat azazel and without any of john's knowledge about the demon or sam's fate.

he doesn't choose revenge. he apparently doesn't choose family. he found the third option: he removed himself from the story.

so he managed to choose both "correct" options: he avoided ruin by abandoning his revenge, and he avoided ruin by abandoning his family. and he went to hell.

he became a righteous man, set to break the first seal to the apocalypse.

dean ends up following these exact steps at the end of season 2—the difference is that doing so is dean's fate and not necessarily john's. the other difference is dean is not at peace with his decision to die. john went to hell but he had accepted it. he was ready and willing to go, and he took what was given to him. even in all hell breaks loose, he's happy and serene in death, in hell. it's his commitment to his actions that separate dean and john.

but dean, through sam's influence, second-guesses himself, and his own shame and hypocrisy stir within him doubt and uncertainty. he doesn't want to die; he doesn't want to go to hell. when he gets there, he screams out for sam, wanting to be saved.

dean breaks. john doesn't.

obviously dean going to hell and breaking the seal was part of his destiny—that much is obvious. but i think it's important that it's dean's actions and decisions that lead him down that path, that he's not a passive receptor for his fate. it doesn't happen to him; he chooses it. sam has to act and decide in order to fulfill his destiny, so dean should be beholden to that same thing. which is why i like this interpretation that it's this selfish sacrifice that creates a righteous man—by dean's own hands he creates his destiny and starts the apocalypse.

john was able to escape this because he's not faced with the same conflict dean is. he's able to find peace and take himself out of the story, choosing both "correct" options and being okay with those decisions. dean makes those same "correct" decisions as john (in dean's case, the conflict he is given is not revenge vs family but duty vs family, and he abandons his duty and his family all the same), but he lacks the conviction that john has. he can't remove himself from the story, he's filled with doubt and unresolved tension, he can't let go fully. there is no peace in dean's story, and the righteous man broke.