#split perfect

He didn't know why exactly he did all those things, and hurt all those people. He thought it was to surpass his mother… but why would he want to do that? 

Perfect constantly questioned himself. Starting with simple questions like, Why don't you trust the gems now? Or, Why not go out and be nice today, but the more alone with his thoughts he was the deeper the questions would descend. 

His main question he'd ask was one that he didn't know the answer to. 

"Who was he?"

Was he Pink Diamond? No… that doesn't seem right.

What about Rose? No, that's not right either.

So then he was Steven, right? Wrong. Why couldn't he seem himself as one of the three people he was literally made from?!

All he knew was that, he was Perfect. The most imperfect person he knew.

Why did he call himself something almost impossible to achieve.

...what made a person perfect to begin with? Was it their strength? Their looks? Maybe likability? 

Perfect grimaced, burying his face in his knees under the thousands of stars that danced around the night sky. A million eyes watching his failures, and a million failures for his audience.

Why couldn't he be like the one person who did seem perfect? Why couldn't he be like Steven?! 

Steven was kind, well liked, and approachable.

And himself? Perfect sighed, he was rude, scary…. And alone.

That's it. He was alone.

Warm tears pricked at the corners of his now tightly closed eyes.

"I'm… a failure…" 

Perfect looked up at the night sky, wishing the dark abyss of space would eat him whole. 

He would stay like that for a few hours before his eyes begin to become heavy, like his thoughts, and emotions. 

Soon enough his eyes closed, his tears long dried, and slumber came to take hold of him against his own will.

Perfect would soon awake, on the couch in the beach house, and a cup of hot cocoa on the coffee table next to him.