#split imagine

- Understanding pain and suffering means choosing to embrace it despite all of its ugliness and despite all of its difficulties. It's looking directly at the mountainous, monstrous thing that dwells in the dark and choosing to accept and forgive it for all of its faults. It's choosing to love where there has only been hate, and it is not a job for the faint of heart.

- Instead, it is a job for the equally broken: for the people who have suffered in their own right; people who are comfortable in the company of the unpleasant. While their struggles may be different, they are bonded by the understanding that no one else can understand. That while other people get to walk through life blissfully unaware, they are forced to keep their demons close to their chests. That no matter the reassurance, they’ll never be able to fully trust someone: not enough to tell them about what they’ve been through, not enough to rely on them, not even enough to talk to them.

- In the past, many people were forced to suffer alone: only meeting one person in their entire lives aware enough to understand what it was like to live such a personally pained existence; if any at all. They were outcasts who hid away in fear of what others might think of them, worried about what might happen if they were to let all of their issues out into the open

- In this day and age, there are endless places to meet similarly struggling individuals: people who can understand what it's like to be different. Endless places where you can meet people to confide in, to converse with, to feel validated by. You no longer have to be alone in this world if you don't want to be.

- It's in one of these places that you wind up meeting Kevin for the first time. It's a mental health forum that allows you to talk to, vent to, and/or seek advice from people who have been through similar situations or traumas. A judgement free zone that's full of people who are yearning for connection.

- You and Kevin orbit in the same spaces long before you actually interact with each other: regularly liking and commenting on the same posts or following the same random accounts. It's commonplace to see each others usernames while doing your daily scrolling so it's no surprise when you see him pop up in your notifications, liking a few of your statuses before he follows your account. You leaf through his profile a little before you decide to follow him back, not really thinking much of it until he sends you a message a couple months later.

- On a platform where people treat their posts like public diary entries, it's easy to skip the small talk and the absentminded niceties, and move on to much deeper conversations. Kevin doesn't even bother introducing himself when he first messages you. Instead, he references a post of yours that really resonated with him, or answers a question that you posed on your account, and the two of you start up a conversation that lasts for well over an hour.

- This conversation sparks a daily correspondence between the two of you: one that varies between simple recaps of what you did during the day to confessions about things you haven't even told your closest friends or family about. You learn that his name is Kevin and that he's in his thirties, but everything else you find out about him is far more intimate; a trend that you typically follow suit with.

- The two of you speak at length about your darkest moments and your fears and insecurities, all the while neglecting to tell each other about your appearances or the simple facts that you often get out of the way when meeting someone for the first time. In a way, this relative anonymity makes everything feel so much more confidential: that even though you’re baring your souls to each other and being completely vulnerable, there’s enough of a wall between you to stop you from getting fully hurt.

- He keeps the truth about his condition behind this aforementioned wall, hesitating whenever he finds himself ready to confess to you, worrying that you won't believe him or that he'll scare you off with the diagnosis; that you'll deem it "too cazy to deal with" and distance yourself.

- During this time, you might occasionally notice that his typing changes depending on the hour/day: that he alternates between using no emojis to using one in every message or that he abbreviates things one minute then doesn't the next. And even though you’d probably like to ask him about it, you choose to simply brush it off instead, reasoning that it’s a strange thing to comment on and that you might just be overthinking it. Even if it wasn’t “your imagination”, you wouldn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable or insecure anyway; so you simply leave it alone.

- When he finally does admit his diagnosis to you, your first response is to tell him that it actually “kind of makes sense”, sending the message before you can even realize how insulting that might sound to someone who’s been very obviously trying to keep said part of themselves a secret. It feels like a very “No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't fool me into thinking you were normal” kind of response so you quickly type out a “no offense” before attempting to explain yourself further.

- Once you feel like you’ve done a good enough job of clarifying, you thank him for trusting you enough to share something so personal, assuring him that it doesn't change anything between the two of you; if that was something he was worried about. You go to bed that night promising yourself to look into the condition in the morning; wanting to better understand him, and he goes to bed that night feeling completely relieved, close to crying tears of joy knowing that he’s found his first ever real friend.

- You start keeping a list of his personalities somewhere on your computer for reference, taking notes as you get to know all of his different alters. Slowly but surely, you find yourself able to deduce exactly who you’re talking to simply through the way that they type and the things they choose to message you about. If you aren’t talking to Kevin, you’re typically talking to Barry or Jade, sometimes Hedwig who’s especially amusing to converse with.

- Though just as you’re growing used to your usual roster of personalities, you find yourself baffled by the appearance of one that you’ve never spoken to before: one that materializes as a singular, simple and to the point message that appears on your screen late at night after you’ve already wished Kevin goodnight.

“Has he told you about the beast?”

- Though you’re tempted to answer, you ignore the message for the time being, too tired to entertain an entirely new conversation when you’ve already gotten ready for bed. When you wake up the next morning, you’re met with a few messages telling to ignore his previous question, insisting that it’s nothing and that he’d rather not get into it. You brush it off and move onto a different topic; though the question continues to linger at the back of your mind whenever he sends you a message that feels more succinct or shorter than usual.

- Though he neglects to tell you about the beast, he does start to share some of his beliefs with you, or rather, some of his personalities begin to share their beliefs with you. He tells you about how he thinks that the broken are the evolved, that those who have been through more are capable of becoming more, that the people who have suffered are more advanced and that the people who haven’t go through life oblivious.

- A part of you believes in some of his theories; there’s a certain level of truth to them after all, but another part of you simply assumes that he’s exaggerating or venting to you whenever he brings up something unrealistic or strange. You simply don’t realize how serious he’s being, taking the words on your screen for granted as you agree with and discuss them; falsely assuming that you’re both on the same page.

- The world he tells you about; “his world”, is something that you begin to take comfort in. A place where people like you are accepted instead of ridiculed. It’s a nice idea, of course; nobody can argue with that, but to you, it’s simply wishful thinking: a thought that helps you sleep at night or cheers you up after a particularly rough day. Unbeknownst to you, your acceptance of his ideas are proof to some of his alters that you’re perfect for him: someone capable of understanding, someone who believes….

- You assume that it’s Kevin who asks to exchange photos with you but it’s probably Dennis, curious to see what you look like, to see the sort of person capable of caring for the man he was created to protect. You’re a bit surprised when you receive the message but you hesitantly agree, figuring that you’re at a place in your “relationship” where it’s the next logical step.

- You send one of yourself and receive one of him: a picture taken from his computer camera where he looks a bit uncomfortable; maybe just shy, cast in a warm light in the middle of a somewhat cluttered room. You aren’t sure what you were expecting but you certainly aren’t disappointed, somewhat surprised to see a relatively handsome man on the other side of the screen. You ignore your suddenly increased heart rate and tell him that you like his shirt, he thanks you and the two of you begin a conversation like normal, not really mentioning the photos again; even though he saves yours to his computer and finds himself looking at it nearly every morning.

- It isn’t long after that that you agree to meet up for the first time. The idea of it is nerve wracking of course, but you decide that if there was ever anyone you’d feel the need to meet; to put yourself through the uncomfortable for, it’s Kevin. You settle on meeting at the zoo he works at on one of his days off: somewhere that’s public and a little bit crowded to ensure that you won’t get kidnapped; even if you feel like you know him well enough to assume that he wouldn’t do that.

- He’s a bit shy when you first approach each other but he smiles the minute he lays eyes on you, visibly happy to see you while walking to meet you halfway. He continues to sneak peeks at you while you look at all of the animals, sharing different facts about them in an attempt to impress you and/or make conversation. He’s amazed by how nice it feels to be in your presence and you secretly feel the same way, relaxing little by little until you feel as though you’ve known him for years.

- He might occasionally shift into Barry but the transition is seamless enough to where you really don’t notice it. It’s only when bits of Dennis come flashing through that you start to realize he isn’t “himself” anymore; though Kevin usually takes over again before you can even think to comment on it. You only take notice of his presence due to how different Dennis’s demeanor is, and because it’s the only times during your meet up that “Kevin” actually touches you: straightening your hair or a piece of your clothing with a mumbled apology as though it physically pains him to see it out of place.

- Regardless of that, your meetup goes perfectly well and you the two of you promise to meet again sometime soon, lingering at the gates of the zoo as you say your final goodbyes.

- Your relationship with Kevin progresses fairly slowly, both because he’s new to being in the spotlight and because he’s new to relationships in general. The two of you stick to being friends for quite a while: taking your time growing more comfortable and close to each other as the days go by. You start to video call and meet up in person a lot more, typically spending time out in public together while you get used to being real people rather than faceless beings behind a screen.

- While the two of you slowly but surely begin to develop crushes on each other, you also begin to earn the trust of his last few remaining personalities; a feat which convinces Kevin that you’re perfect for him. Having someone truly accept him; accept every part of him, is something so precious to him, and it only manages to further his affection for you. He might not be obvious about his romantic feelings for you, but you can definitely tell that he cares a lot about you and that you really mean a lot to him.

- Once you’re comfortable enough, the two of you start to hang out in private. You’re both a bit shy at first when showing each other around your respective apartments, it isn’t long before it begins to feel perfectly normal and natural to have him by your side and in your space.

- It’s a day like any other when he finally confesses his feelings to you. He invites you over to his apartment and right off the bat, you can tell that something is different. Kevin’s always a little shy, but he seems anxious when he meets you by the gate and lets you into his place. You’re a little worried about him, asking if he’s alright as you let him sit you down on his couch. He insists that he is but it isn’t convincing, not when he’s pacing back and forth as he struggles to initiate whatever conversation he’s trying to have with you, opening and closing his mouth as though he’s on the verge of spitting it out but psyching himself out every time.

- Finally, he rubs a hand down his face and sighs, retrieving a folded piece of paper from his pocket and holding it out to you with a shaking hand. You ask him if he’s alright again as you look at his trembling limb, hesitantly taking the paper from between his fingers and beginning to unfold it as he whispers that he’s fine, stuttering out that he just wants you to read the note and be honest “no matter what your answer is”.

- You look at him for a long moment before you fix your eyes on the letter and read, feeling your heart skip a beat as you realize what the words are trying to tell you. In the letter, Kevin explains that he’s never been in a relationship before, that he’s never developed feelings for someone before, and that he’s worried you won’t be interested in him or that you’ll never want to see him again. He apologizes if it isn’t what you want to hear, insisting that he can just stay your friend, if that’s what you want, and that he’ll do his best to forget about his crush, that he wants you to be happy more than himself and that if that’s what it takes, he’ll do it.

- You finish reading and look up at him, catching the way his eyes were locked intently on your face. You smile at him and insist that you’d be happy to go on a date with him, watching the way his shoulders sag in relief, a smile making its way onto his lips and the slight shine of tears misting in his eyes. Really? He asks you and you nod, telling him that you’d actually love to.

- For your first date, the two of you see a movie then wander around town, picking up some street food while you walk because neither of you feel like going home just yet. He stops and buys you flowers as you pass by a vendor, smiling shyly as you thank him, holding the bouquet close to your face. When you finally do decide it’s time to part ways, he stutters through asking you whether you’d like to “do it again sometime” an offer which you readily agree to, watching as he smiles in relief.

- Considering the fact that you’re probably Kevin’s first real girlfriend, it’s more than likely that you’ll have to make the first move when having your first kiss; and that it will probably take a bit of time for the two of you to get to that level. You decide to make the first move as you’re sitting on his couch, turning to and outright asking him if it would be alright for you to kiss him; suddenly finding yourself impatient and unable to stop yourself. He pauses for a moment, looking at you somewhat surprised before he quickly agrees, adjusting himself nervously in his seat so that he’s facing you better.

- You slowly lean in and press your lips to his, kissing him softly before checking his face to see if he’s alright. He lets out a breath, his eyes still closed as you look over his features, you lean in to kiss him again when he makes no move to pull away. You continue to kiss him gently, feeling his hand move to rest on the juncture between your neck and shoulder, palm pressed to your collarbone.

- He leans away from you after a long moment, which is when you realize that his hand is keeping you from following after him. You open your eyes and find him looking back at you, blue eyes locked on your face in a way you aren’t familiar with, a dead giveaway that you aren’t looking at “Kevin” anymore but rather the reclusive Dennis. You quietly apologize as he stares at you, surprised to hear him murmur out a quiet “you’re alright” once he’s finished scanning your face.

“Is he alright? I didn’t mean to scare him or anything.” You say to him, trying to assure the particularly protective personality that you meant no harm; worried that you somehow ruined things between you and your new boyfriend by merely kissing him.

- He assures you that he is, that he’s just not used to “this”, that none of them are. You nod, trying your best not to take it to heart; not realizing that the only reason your boyfriend isn’t with you right then and there is because his personalities were worried he was having a heart attack due to how hard it was hammering in his chest.

“Should I go?” You ask hesitantly.

“I’d rather you stayed.” He replies and you smile a little.

“Can Kevin come back?” He pauses as he contemplates your question, nodding briefly before he tenses, body responding to the changing of personalities.

- Kevin immediately begins muttering out apologies once he comes through again, one’s that are shushed by you as you cup his cheek and assure him that you’re willing to be as patient with him as he needs you to be. He leans into your touch, closing his eyes and letting out a breath, relieved that you aren’t upset with him; knowing that he’s found his soulmate….

- A little side note: prior to The Horde taking over, Barry was known to front most of the time that Kevin wasn't; which seemed to be quite often considering Kevin appeared to be hidden pretty deeply inside of himself. For the sake of these headcanons, I'm going to be writing with the idea in mind that Kevin is a little more healed from his trauma and taking the spotlight once again. I'm gonna try to focus specifically on Kevin himself for most of these, but I will be mentioning the occasional alter; for what I'm sure are obvious reasons. These might not be perfectly canonical but I'm going to try my best....

- Kevin prefers staying inside rather than going out, but he finds comfort in having some level of physical contact with you whenever you're out in public together; like holding your hand or sitting thigh to thigh. Feeling your touch grounds him whenever he's feeling particularly anxious or nervous, so while he's more reserved with his affection; wanting to draw as little attention to himself as possible, he still likes having a bit of contact with you whenever he can.

- He's definitely more affectionate when you're in the privacy of your own homes: somewhere he can fully relax and feel comfortable. He'll lay his head on your shoulder, hug you from behind, hold your hand or have a hand somewhere on you, etc. He'd love it if you were even more affectionate than he is, if you wanted to touch him just for the sake of touching him; not knowing how much the mindless affection means to him. He has to get used to asking for what he wants or just doing it himself whenever he feels like it, but once he does, rest assured that he's very touchy; usually in an innocent and sweet kind of way.

- He also just loves being in your personal space, even when he isn't necessarily touching or doing anything with you. He'll oftentimes follow you from room to room, not wanting to be away from you for too long, unless he's a little overstimulated and needs some time to himself, or if another personality is fronting. When he isn't staying in the room with you, he'll typically check in on you a lot: especially if he's fronting as Dennis who doesn't always want to sit with you but definitely wants to keep an eye on you; though the man has no qualms with buckling down and observing you while you go about your own business.

- Loves, loves, loves, kisses: in the most touch starved and shy way possible. He grew up with a lack of gentle influences in his life so any form of soft affection really tends to get to him. Kiss him on his forehead, his cheeks, his nose: anywhere you want to really; it all makes him melt. It's certainly no cure for what he went through, but it's definitely a helpful medicine: it takes him out of any bad thoughts that he might be having and makes him realize that you're there and that you love him and that he's safe.

- Kisses with Kevin are gentle and oftentimes a little chaste. He's fairly inexperienced, having always kept to himself, so you'll have to be a bit patient with him. He'll sometimes lean down for a kiss, go do something, and then come back for another: like he's just remembered exactly how much he likes kissing you and can't wait too long to do it again. It never fails to make you smile and once he sees yours, he can't help but smile too.

- Kevin likes saying your name more than anything else; he just thinks that it's a really nice name, but he'll sometimes say honey or something equally sweet if he feels the need to. His other personalities tend to have pet names for you as well: things like babygirl, pet, sweetie, sweetheart, angel, darling, mine, etc. Sometimes you'll be able to tell who's fronting just by hearing what they call you when trying to address you.

- There's definitely going to be moments in time where your Spidey sense tingles and you realize that you're talking to an entirely different person than before; even if they're pretending to be someone else. You start to get a knack for telling who's who; even when they're not dressed any different, and it admittedly kind of impresses all of them.

- He always needs a hug the minute he comes home: it's the part of his day that he looks forward to the most and it genuinely becomes a routine for the two of you. The door opens, he finds you, hug. Most of the time, words aren't even exchanged: you hear him coming and you just know to open your arms.

- He typically likes to wrap himself around you whenever the two of you cuddle: spooning you from behind while also tossing a leg over your own; treating you like an oversized stuffed animal. It makes him feel comforted without the feeling of being restricted, and it makes untangling himself from you a little easier whenever he feels the need to leave, or if he ends up shifting in the morning. The feeling of his body changing against your own, the way that he seems to grow or shrink with each different personality, never ceases to amaze you.

- Late night talks. Most of them are full of comfort and reassurance: letting each other know that you're both enough, that there's no need to worry, that you both love each other, and that it'll all be okay. There's never any shame in admitting you need the other person a little more than usual, and it helps both of you sleep more soundly.

- Little acts of service make him happy. He's so used to his personalities taking care of him that it feels good to take care of someone else. He mimics your acts of love and the things he always wanted as a child but never got: like making you lunch, brushing your hair, getting you medicine, etc.

- You both take care of each other equally: cooking for one another, helping cut each others hair, straightening out clothes, him carrying you to bed or walking you home, etc. You might not always have a lot to offer each other, but you definitely have a whole lot of love, and that's always been enough for the two of you.

- Running errands together. You sort of act like a married couple, going about your daily lives side by side, making the most mundane and trivial things into a date; always wanting to spend time with each other regardless of what you're doing during it.

- Receiving flowers. Sometimes it's an entire bouquet, other times it's a singular flower sitting on your bedside table or on the pillow next to your head. It's a move that Dennis and/or Patricia will occasionally pull as well: not necessarily in a romantic sense, but definitely in a "showing I care" kind of gesture; so that you know that they like and appreciate you.

- Watching movies together. It's kind of routine for the two of you to sit down and watch a movie; or an episode of a tv show, every time that you're together. Typically, it's a documentary, but he's open to watching pretty much anything; as long as you're spending time with Kevin himself.

- Hearing a lot of random animal facts. Kevin works in a zoo so it's sort of a given that he knows a lot about mammals and their different environments. Sometimes, he'll randomly occupy whatever silence you're in with a tidbit of information, sharing something completely unrelated to anything but arguably pretty interesting. He always loves when you chime in with something he's told you before: it makes him feel like you really care about and listen to him.

- Being let into the zoo late at night and/or being taken on personal tours. He probably brings you home stuffed animals or different things from the gift shop as well.

- Buying things that remind you of each other.

- Sharing clothes. You've begin wearing larger sizes; if you're smaller than him, so that you know your stuff will fit him. You've also begun keeping extra clothes in your apartment and your car so that he can always be comfortable, regardless of which alter is in charge. It's especially helpful when he shifts into the beast, who has a habit of tearing or dirtying clothing; or loosing his clothes in the process of shifting.

- Visiting abandoned buildings and exploring or having picnics in the rubble.

- Going camping. He likes being able to get away from regular society for a while, and it's occasionally good for him to let the beast have his time in the spotlight; especially when there's no one around for him to hurt.

- Building blanket forts. Kevin loves them himself, but they're also a treat for Hedwig as well.

- Taking walks together at night; usually stopping into convenience stores or random parks.

- Writing notes to each other. Sometimes, it's just easier for him to communicate through writing rather than actual words. His letters are never terribly intricate or poetic, but it helps him express himself and/or tell you what he's feeling without the pressure of having to be there for your reaction or "face it" in some way; even when he isn't admitting anything bad. It's just that any big emotion can be hard for him to handle and writing to you makes dealing with them a little easier.

- Kevin probably wont allow you to help him whenever he's injured, unless he's somewhat forced to, but that's no slight on you: he simply finds it difficult to surrender himself fully and be completely vulnerable with someone.

- That being said: don't be surprised when another personality takes over if you accidentally burn or cut yourself. It's typically Patricia who ends up tending to your injuries, but Kevin does try to stick around in an effort to be "there for you more"; even if you assure him that you don't mind him leaving if it makes him more comfortable. You should also expect to be gently ushered out of harms way; typically the kitchen if you hurt yourself trying to make dinner, and for him/her to take over and finish whatever you were doing. It's simply the motherly instinct, and there's really no stopping it.

- Coming home to your apartment and finding things randomly straightened up or rearranged, organized in a certain way that tells you that Dennis was there; at least for a brief moment. It's probably best to keep a clean and neutral area for Kevin to be in whenever he's in your home; mainly to ensure that all your knickknacks aren't all turned perfectly straight or your DVDs aren't put in a different place.

- On that same note: don't be surprised if you get "interrupted" mid conversation by him straightening out your tie or brooch, or the collar of your jacket. You get used to it easily enough, so much so that you start to not even notice or acknowledge it.

- Having things spoiled by Hedwig. He's the reason that you know as much as you do: informing you if another personality has a crush on you, or if Kevin is "totally in love with you", or even if he's planning on proposing at some point. You have to pretend not to know for everyone else's sake, but it still makes your heart skip a beat every time he drops a bombshell on you then innocently giggles in amusement.

- A lot of Barry's sketches start to resemble you: whether it's you in general or just things that fit your style. You sort of become like his muse, giving him inspiration when he can't find it anywhere else. Don't be surprised if he gifts you handmade clothing either: it's part of his love language; that and actually showing you his sketches.

- Getting asked a lot of questions. Kevin likes to know you inside out, as does a lot of his more protective personalities, so it's best to always be an open book. Once they trust you enough, they'll be one as well.

- He always listens to you very intently, so much so that I think he occasionally doesn't realize exactly how much he knows about you and your interests until he starts speaking and is suddenly wondering where it's all coming from. Like, why does he know anything about different nail colors, or art supplies, or your estranged aunt who lives in a different state? Regardless, knowing a lot about your interests, your inspirations, and/or your morals helps him and his personalities open up to and trust you.

- Having help whenever you need something fixed. He built a cult dungeon in a zoo basement, I think he can fix your faulty cabinet hinges.

- He keeps a photo of you in his wallet and occasionally has you make appearances in his different computer journals.

- He's a very "my girlfriend this, my girlfriend that" kind of guy. He's very proud of you.

- He has a tendency to ask you who you've "seen" when he knows he's swapped personalities, or asks what you were talking about, etc. Sometimes you lie, mainly for his sake, but most of the time you just tell the truth.

- Strange encounters with The Beast. If he decides he likes you, he'll occasionally come out from time to time and talk about his world order, or about Kevin, or about how you should be proud of your pain, etc. Unfortunately for you, sometimes when you're struggling, it's not your boyfriend or Patricia or someone else who comes around to help you. Instead, it's the thing lurking in the shadows, ready to strike whoever hurt you and make you rejoice in your suffering; oftentimes with a strange level of sexual energy.

- Occasionally being asked to participate in sessions with his therapist. She wants to know how you're handling the relationship and things of that nature, and when you're not in the room with him, she typically tells him that she thinks you're good for him; which further reassures his personalities.

- All of his life; and all of the personalities lives, Kevin has simply wanted to be liked, validated, and/or deemed important. So whenever you praise him, it never fails to make him melt. It's a good way to make him relax and calm him down, letting him know that you're proud of him whenever he's being hard on himself or that you're not upset with him for anything; like when he accidentally messes something up.

- Kevin isn't really a jealous person, he's mainly just insecure. He worries that he's not enough for you, or that another person might be better than him; or at least easier to be with than him. He's a bit more envious than he is jealous, wishing he could be more like someone else, or be the person that they are to you; so that you could come to him instead.

- He tries to act normally, but he occasionally zones out a little whenever your attention is on someone else more than usual, knowing that it will upset him to see or hear you so happy and/or relaxed with them. His other personalities might respond differently as well; they also have more of a chance of coming out in order to try and protect Kevin from whatever he might be feeling. There's also the occasional jealousy between personalities, which is an interesting predicament to try and navigate.

- His personalities protectiveness has definitely begun to bleed from him onto you. Whether or not they all love you, they cannot deny the negative effect that losing you would have on Kevin and how much it would genuinely hurt him. Because of this, they've become incredibly protective of you; especially personalities like Dennis or The Beast. That being said: as protective as they are of you, you're protective of Kevin as well; which makes him feel so happy and loved.

- Fights happen extremely rarely between you and Kevin; you're more likely to bicker with his personalities than you are with Kevin himself. You'll especially get into arguments with The Beast and Dennis, trying to make them see the rights and wrongs of what they're doing and to try and make them stop being so stubborn. Genuine confrontations might occur from time to time, but most of the time, you try to have loving interventions whenever there's a problem between the two of you: ones that are easy to talk out and make up from.

- Kevin himself is extremely bad at confrontation so you have to be very sweet with him whenever he calmly tries to solve an issue with you. If you show any level of anger or disappointment; or even if you don't, he has a tendency to backpedal and just tell you that he's sorry and that you should both just forget about it. It hurts your heart to see it; knowing where it comes from, so regardless of the issue at hand, you honestly can't help but comfort him, which makes solving things a lot easier since you usually maintain a more level head.

- I can definitely The Horde refusing to let you leave whenever you have a fight; whether with Kevin or one of the other personalities. They refuse to acknowledge the connotations of you leaving angry, how you can just decide to never come back, and how much that would kill Kevin; how upset and guilty he would feel because of it. Because of this, they simply don't let it happen, which can be extremely frustrating; and possibly a bit scary. But after a while, you start to calm down and think more clearly.

- It's more than likely that another personality will take over during any sort of conflict and try to smooth things over, trying to ensure that things are solved and settled and oftentimes making excuses. It's difficult to handle at first, but you learn how to deal with it, just like everything else in your relationship.

- It takes him a while to feel comfortable saying he loves you; unless it's Hedwig saying it, but he finds a lot of comfort in you telling him that you love him, and soon enough, he finds comfort in saying it himself. Once he is comfortable, he says it fairly often, loving the fact that he's in love; something he thought wasn't possible for a large portion of his life, and the fact that he can express it.

Barry

He is surprised by your idea but is not against it.

He seems happy about it - trying to support you as much as he can.

But he is afraid - what will others say about it - what will they do.

He knows he has to be careful - for everyone's safety.

Also he doubts himself in the sense of being a good dad and if he would be good at making you feel supported.

Eventually goes to ask - he can't keep asking himself he will go crazy.

Will go to you with the question if you think he will be a good dad.

Please let him know he will be great.

He will be, he just needs someone to lead him the way.

After he gets over all the stress about himself he is great.

He is not controlling - at all.

He will give you all the control of when you two will try for the baby.

You are the one that sets the pace of this all.

He will be amazing at planning things for you.

He will make sure that all of your doctor appointments are marked in the calendar.

He is so attentive - but maybe he will not always be there for them - he is not the only one living in that body so you have to understand.

Please be kind and understanding.

When you manage to get pregnant he will be so unbelievably happy.

And also all the fears will be back - but he will get there with you.

He will read about what he needs to do to be ready.

AND he will enjoy reading about it.

He is more than ready to be a father and is ready to be all you need him to be.

When it comes to the baby's room he is ready to go all out.

He knows what he is doing - trust him.

He will ask about what you want in your baby's room.

He makes it useful.

And make it like you want it to.

Also - it will be so pretty - you just wait.

He is also waiting for your input after he is done.

He knows that you will see what he didn't.

“Come on, love. Let me know what needs to be fixed.”

I am a little jealous of you girl.

He is ready to accomodate you and your baby.

If you make sure he is confident in his abilities he will make sure you are most certainly satisfied in your needs for the baby and above.

You are more than ready to have this baby by his side.

Dennis

He is a lot more controlling than anyone.

He is really set up for a clean and organized environment.

At first he did not really like the idea.

And he lets you know how he feels about it at first.

And it might scare you a little at first.

But just let him think about it properly - trust me.

He just needs some time to think and plan about it but he will get there.

He will have a conversation about it.

Like the grown ups you are - very responsible.

He comes with all the arguments that you NEED to hear to make the decision about this - it is your future.

Will also talk about other personalities and what it will take to make sure everyone is safe in this process.

It is important to have this conversation.

He will plan it all out if you are ready.

After you give him the green light that you really want this he will go all out.

He has it all planned out - he will take you to the doctor and then we will plan out everything.

Oh when I say everything I MEAN everything.

He will plan out when you will try to conceive.

Then he will move to the next step - he has a plan in his head.

You are in good hands - he knows what he's doing - he did the research.

He will make sure all of the others know when he will take you to the doctor's appointments - he will make sure  he is there.

He will make sure that the baby's room has what it needs.

If you want changes it will need to be a little ones - and you will do them.

He is really needy when it comes to cleaning and all of that but you know that already.

He makes sure that everything is clean and ready.

Also makes you food and makes sure you are well fed on vitamins and all of that.

It might not always be fun but he means well - and he knows what he's doing.

He will also try his best to not be in your way when it comes to your moods and all.

It can be fun with him but also in a way of his planning.

It was for that reason that Iris Mayfair kept herself covered from head to toe in her oversized clothing for as long as she could remember. Since she was a child, every few years one or more soulmarks would appear on her body. By the time she was in her twenties, she had twenty-three soulmarks along her skin. Some were simple, others were complicated, many were downright confusing; Look, look! We have matching socks! and Finally, I get the light!

 Only recently did another mark begin to appear, still foggy and unreadable, along a bare patch on her chest. It was short, probably nothing more than one word, and it made her curious since no other marks were quite that simple for her. Though, one on the inside of her arm was hello my dear.

 It was due to her soulmarks that she had led such a rough life; not many outsiders knew of her marks, but her parents believed her to be a monster, a freak of nature that wasn’t meant to be. They were unmarked, having met and fallen in love through the connection of their empty bodies. For as long as she could remember her body was covered and she was forbidden to show her skin. There was one mark that was shown on the back of her left hand unless she wore gloves, in small, neat writing that looked meticulous and practiced—Sh, sh, shh, quiet now.

 This mark, as well as a few others, is still legible but now bore burns or scars from her parents’ attempts as removing them from her skin. If they couldn’t be taken off, they attempted to try to cover them up.

 Iris had fled home when she was still young, lying low and scrounging by until she was eighteen and legally capable of renting a tiny apartment that she afforded with a meagre job. It wasn’t often she went out, opting instead to stay home and out of sight. Running away before she was able finish school, Iris taught herself what she could through her love of reading.

 She read as much as she could find about soulmarks, and as far as she could tell the most ever recorded on a person was three. Her twenty-four made that record pale in comparison.

 It was through her readings that she learned about Dr. Fletcher, who had had been researching Dissociative Identity Disorder and the effect it had on those with soulmarks. For months, Iris debated on whether or not to contact this doctor, worried that she would either have to expose her greatest secret—and therefore her scars—or if she would have to pay her.

 Lacking in money as she was, holding down a management position as best she could, it wasn’t as though she could afford a therapist of any kind.

 However, she finally worked up the courage to call the woman and was relieved to know that she was willing to speak with her in complete confidence and no charge. So, trying to find the same courage she had to make that phone call, Iris made her way to Dr. Fletcher’s office in the early afternoon between two of the woman’s appointments.

 It took several flights of stairs to get up to her floor, making Iris regret wearing so many layers when she left her apartment. It was still early spring so it hadn’t gotten warm yet, but even in the summer her sleeves were long so she’d become mostly accustomed to it. However, with a shirt, sweater and coat on she was sweating by the time she reached the designated floor.

 Taking a moment to compose herself—unbuttoning her coat for some relief from the heat—and checking the time on her phone, she then reached forward to knock on the expensive looking wood, beneath the gold name plate fastened to the door.

 “Come in!”

 Hesitating only a moment as she glanced at her gloved hand, which held the mark, she opened the door and timidly slipped in through a barely-there gap.

 “Miss. Mayfair?” the elderly woman asked as she rose from her seat, offering a friendly smile, and motioned the young woman further inside. “Please, come and sit. May I get you anything to drink?”

 “No. No, that’s alright, thank you,” she answered, barely flicking her eyes up to her before they returned to the floor. “I hope I am not interrupting your schedule.”

 “Nonsense, child, plenty of time.” Iris moved forward to take the seat that she motioned toward, sinking into the overstuffed cushions. “You mentioned that you wished to speak of my work with soulmarks,” she began gently, sinking into it slowly. “Would you care to elaborate?”

 “I…I have many soulmarks,” she began, folding her unmarked hand over her marked one, even though she had yet to remove her gloves. “I read in one of your articles that you believe several marks could mean a soulmate with Dissociative Identity Disorder; a mark for each personality.”

 “Yes; I have not proven the theory yet, however. I have yet to interview a patient who has met their soulmate…well, there was one but she only had one mark from the original personality, she never met the personalities.”

 Iris’s shoulders slumped at the news, sighing softly.

 “If you don’t mind me asking, have you met your soulmate?” Dr. Fletcher asked carefully, leaning forward in her seat as she carefully looked over the young woman before her. She was in her late twenties, that much she knew, maybe early thirties if she was to push it, with dark blonde hair and pale, pale skin—like she never set foot in sunlight—and her eyes, from the brief glance she had, were a gorgeous amber-brown, like whiskey. She was short, barely more than five feet, and remarkably skinny if the thinness of her neck proved anything. Her clothing hid the rest.

 “No, I have not,” she admitted, once more looking up at the other woman’s face only briefly before she looked away again.

 “And…how many marks do you have?”

 Immediately, Iris flinched and clenched up. Should she say?

 “A lot,” she dodged, glancing at the back of her palm as though she would be able to see through the black glove that she was wearing.

 “More than three?” Dr. Fletcher pressed, her tone remaining soft and gentle.

 “Many,” Iris choked out, hoping that she wasn’t making a mistake.

 Her eyes widened at the simple word, leaning in closer as she lifted a ring-decorated hand and tapping her fingertips along her lips. “Would you tell me how many?”

 “I…would rather not.”

 Iris fidgeted in her seat, repressing the urge to turn and run. After all, she had been the one to contact the therapist in the hopes of getting some answers. “May I at least see some? However many you are comfortable with.”

 Swallowing against the lump in her throat as she raised light whiskey eyes up to meet the doctor’s interested stare. Finally, she pulled off the black glove on her left hand to reveal the neat, tight writing, then rolled up her sleeve to the elbow to show three more along her forearm—Oh, the eyes, look at them eyes encircled her wrist, Hello my dear running along the inside of her forearm near her elbow, and He’s told us about you, little one, he really likes you beginning at her elbow and running along the outside of her forearm toward her wrist.

 All four were in different handwriting. The one on the outside of her forearm was marred with a long scar running through it, distorting the words slightly but they were still easily legible due to the thinness of the scar. It had been sewn shut carefully, preserving the mark.

 Dr. Fletcher reached out, pausing long enough to meet Iris’s concerned eyes to seek her approval, before she clasped her hand to turn her arm this way and that as she looked over the marks, examining the scar as well. “Fascinating,” she murmured, the chill of her rings almost causing Iris to pull back. It had been a long time since she had been touched by anyone, even voluntarily. “Were you born with them all?”

 “No,” she responded, slowly pulling her hand away and lowering her sleeve. “I was born with one, but the others appeared over time.”

 Resuming her original seat, Dr. Fletcher rested her fingers against her lips again. The woman before her was interesting all on her own; she was shy and timid and the way she was crumpled in on herself reminded the older woman of her more abused patients, who had gone through trauma or violence during their life. Reluctance to meet her eyes only further supported the theory. Knowing how some reacted to soulmarks, especially those with several, she assumed it had something to do with the very reason she had come to see her.

 And that scar; it was too neat to have been an accident. Perhaps surgical, but she had strong doubts about that.

 “Miss. Mayfair, would you please tell me…how many soulmarks you have?”

 So many attempts to find out the number of marks on this woman proved to be too much for her, because Iris abruptly stood as she quickly shook her head and pulled her glove on quickly.

 “I’m sorry to have wasted your time, Dr. Fletcher, I should be going,” she quickly excused as she rushed around the chair to head for the door.

 “Miss. Mayfair, please-”

 Yanking the door open, Iris nearly barreled into the person that was standing on the other side, hand poised to knock before the door had been opened so abruptly. Both of them jumped back at the appearance of another person, Iris meeting with the young man’s light blue eyes before she immediately ducked her head down again, staring at her feet as she self-consciously began to close her coat, even though all of her markings were once more covered up by her clothes.

 “Ohh, babe, I’m loving that coat,” he praised when her motion drew his eyes to her wool coat—one of the few things she actually splurged on for herself when she saved up enough extra cash. Technically, it was out of fashion now, but she’d taken very good care of it and the man’s keen eyes noticed that detail immediately.

 Iris went absolutely still at his words, thinking of that exact sentence that was presently wrapped around her right bicep. The only thing to move again was her eyes, which snapped up to his in complete shock. He was grinning at her crookedly, revealing white teeth and faint laugh-lines around his eyes.

 This man? He was…no, that wasn’t possible.

 One of twenty-four soulmates was a curse for someone. To have to share among twenty-three other people was just cruel.

 And Iris doubted she would survive through twenty-four different soulmates. The people meant to love her and protect her the most beat her and cut into her in more ways than just the physical. Those memories were not so easily brushed aside.

 Before she fully comprehended her own actions, words were spilling forth from her lips, “I can’t,” she blurted out, feeling the burn of tears as she looked away from him so she wouldn’t have to witness his reaction. “I’m so sorry, but I can’t.”

 Rushing passed him in the next instant, flattening herself against the doorway abruptly so as not to touch him, Iris flew down the stairs as quickly as her short, slim legs could take her while she continued to clutch her coat tightly against herself.

 She was already to the last flight of stairs before “Wait! Please, wait!” was shouted from above, echoing through the open concept building, followed by the thundering of footfalls as the man rushed to follow her. The booming echo of his steps made her flinch as she leapt the last three steps and dashed out the doors to turn a sharp right. Ducking into the alley beside the building and racing down far enough to hide in the side alcove, out of sight, Iris silently prayed that he would look around and give up when he couldn’t find her fleeing down the street. She couldn’t wait there all day.

 She shook like a leaf from head to toe, hands clutching at the lapels of her undone coat in a grip so tight she wondered if she’d ruin the material. For how long she’d stood there, hidden from view, she wasn’t sure. However, no one came out shouting for her and no one came down the alley. Taking the time to calm her breathing and quickly rearrange her appearance, Iris eventually peeked around the corner before pulling up her hood and taking the chance to leave the alley.

 Not daring to glance back for the doors, the trembling woman walked back home as calmly as possible, avoiding any attention she could.

 Sitting in the chair that she had vacated in Dr. Fletcher’s office, Barry’s mind was reeling. He thought of the writing that twined the back of his calf, in soft, feminine scrawl, and the words that he had always feared would be said. None of them knew who would be the one that heard them, and it faintly broke his heart that it was him, but he was relieved that it hadn’t been Kevin or one of the more gentle personalities that had been born of Kevin’s need for them.

 “Doc, what was that?” he finally asked, raising bewildered eyes to the elderly woman that sat silently across from him, giving him time to process. “What…what did I do wrong?”

 “Oh, Barry, you did nothing wrong,” she assured, her tone motherly and kind. “Miss. Mayfair called me last week about soulmarks, stating that she had quite a few that were all different styles of writing and she wanted to speak to me about some of my research on reasons for multiple soulmarks. She was only here for a few minutes but…I think she’s been hurt for her marks before. She was so scared and timid and she wouldn’t look at me. I think she’s just scared of getting hurt again.”

 Barry’s heart sank at the same time that anger sparked within him. “Someone hurt her?” he demanded, leaning forward abruptly.

 “I don’t know for sure. She didn’t say much, but she has four marks on her left arm alone from palm to elbow. When I asked how many she had, she only said ‘a lot’.”

 Barry swallowed thickly as he shifted in his seat, thinking over her words as he repressed the urge to run after her again. By the time he got through the entrance doors, she was nowhere to be seen, he’d have no way of finding her.

 “So she’s ours? She’s got one for all of us?”

 “Well, from your reaction I dare say she’s definitely yours,” Dr. Fletched answered with a smile, getting a hesitant one in return. “Tell me…does the writing of your marks all match?”

 Yes. They did. It was one of the few things that all of the personalities agreed on. The writing was the same for each of the words and phrases on their body. They had even had debates and arguments about which mark would match which personality—no one had ever believed that Barry would be the one to get one of the harshest sentences. Most of them were kind, some were hesitant or afraid, but that was the only one that showed immediate rejection of some kind.

 In truth, they had all thought that Dennis would be told those words. Now Barry briefly wondered which ones would actually be said to him.

 Jade was going to have a field day with this new development.

You checked the lock screen of your phone again. He was officially an hour late. Great. Not only were you not that into him to begin with, but now he had stood you up on top of it, just what you needed to make you feel better about yourself.

“Are you ready to order now, miss?” You looked up to see your waiter at your table, a bottle of red wine in hand. From the pitiful look in his eyes, he already knew your answer.

“No, I’ll just get the check now. Thank you.” You kept your gaze glued to the white tablecloth.

He flashed you a smile before retreating. After paying for the couple of glasses of wine you had, you slipped on your coat, grabbed your purse, and dashed out of the restaurant before anyone else could shoot you any patronizing looks.

It was dark outside, the only light provided by the lampposts scattered along the street. With every exhale, you could see your breath in the air, and you pulled your coat closer to you as you walked. A figure passed by you, his head down low and his hands in his pockets, and at first, you didn’t think anything of it when his shoulder knocked into yours. But then, a hand wrapped around your wrist, and when you tugged against it, it didn’t let go.

“Hey!” You tried again, but the hand held on tighter this time. “What the hell are you doing?”

Another hand latched onto you, and you twisted around to see your attacker’s face. He was bald, and a pair of glasses framed his crystal, blue eyes. His brows were drawn into a pensive expression, and he stared at you with such intensity that it made your pulse race at a million miles an hour.

“Let go of...” Before you could finish your sentence, the man removed a hand from you to spray you in the face with something. You broke out into a fit of coughs and stumbled backwards, his grip on you slipping. You looked up at him, and through your blurry gaze, you thought he looked familiar, like you had seen his face before. You tried to place where, but your mind was swimming, and the thought escaped you.

Then, your eyes rolled back into your head, and your body started to fall. But you blacked out before it could come into contact with the ground.

You regained consciousness before you opened your eyes. You were back at home, safe in your bed. Last night had just been a dream, or a nightmare. You groaned and tried to stretch your limbs, but you couldn’t. You noticed how the sheets underneath you felt too thin and the pillow under your head felt too flat, and your eyes shot open.

“Oh, good. You’re awake.”

You lifted your head to see someone sitting at the end of your bed. It was the man, except it wasn’t. There was something different about his face, his composure. He was wearing a red turtleneck and a cross necklace. He had a small smile on his face, but there was something wicked and sinister behind it.

“I was wondering when you would wake up.” His voice was soft and effeminate.

You sat up and found that your legs were tied together with thick rope and your arms were bound behind your back. You scrambled backwards as far as possible until you hit the headboard. “Who are you?” Your voice shook.

His smile turned into a grin. “My name is Patricia, dear.”

“What do you want with me?”

She laughed. “It’s not what I want with you, dear. It’s what he wants with you.”

You furrowed your brow. “What are you talking about?”

“He saw you a couple of months ago at a coffee shop and decided you were the one.” She folded her hands on her lap. “He had Dennis and me watch after you ever since, until he found the perfect opportunity to take you.”

Your chest heaved up and down rapidly. “What are you gonna do to me?”

She shrugged. “It’s not up to me. It’s up to him. The beast.”

Silence settled over you. You looked at her face again, studying it carefully. Where had you seen it before? Then, realization washed over you. You saw news headlines, flashing blue and red lights, crime scene tape. This was the horde, the serial killer that abducted his victims and ate them. And now he had taken you.

Tears welled in your eyes. “Help me!” You started to thrash around desperately. “Somebody, please!”

“It’s no use, dear.” Patricia’s calm demeanor extremely contrasted yours. “Where we are, no one can hear us.”

“You’re gonna let him eat me, aren’t you?” Tears rolled down your cheeks.

“Do you really think we would spend months stalking you just for him to eat you like that?” Her laugh was shrill. “What he has planned for you, I have no idea, but I bet it’s something marvelous.”

You leaned forward. “If you think you can just take me without me putting up a fight, you’re wrong.”

Her lips curled into a smile that sent shivers down your spine. “Oh, dear. It doesn’t matter what you do. When he takes an interest in something, he will blow up the world if it means success.”

You rested your head back against the headboard and swallowed roughly. Your heart felt like it was going to burst out of your chest, it was beating so fast. “Stay the fuck away from me,” you warned her.

“Don’t worry, dear. He’ll be here soon.” She tilted her head to the side, examining you. “I bet he would love it if your hair was in a braid when he gets here. Would you like me to braid your hair for you?”

“Touch my hair, and I’ll break your hand.” You grit your teeth.

She let out another laugh. “I don’t know if you noticed, dear, but you have nothing to break my hand with.” You struggled against your binds and narrowed your eyes at her. She stood up, and you saw that she had on a skirt and a pair of heels. “I must go now, dear. Take care.”

Her heels clicked against the floor as she walked away, and she left through the only exit. When the door slammed shut behind her, you opened your mouth and let out an ear-splitting shriek.

You took the opportunity of being alone to survey your surroundings and locate possible escape routes. The room was pretty empty; the only furniture was the bed you were on. There were no windows, and the only source of light was a lamp in the corner that cast shadows on the brick wall. There was an adjoining bathroom that was oddly pristine and white, as if the whole room was doused in bleach. It looked as if there was no way out except for the door in front of you, and even then it was impossible being tied up like you were.

The door opened again with a long slow creak, revealing the man standing in the doorway, but once again, he appeared drastically different. He was only wearing a pair of pants, leaving his torso exposed. His muscles rippled as his chest rose up and down, and dark purple veins pumped blood beneath his skin. His crystal blue eyes were bloodshot, and an evil grin spread over his face as he took in your form on the bed in front of him.

You rolled your shoulders back and took a deep breath, looking him straight in the eye. “I’m not afraid of you.”

He emitted a laugh that sounded like the rumble of thunder. “If I wanted you to be afraid of me, you would be.” He took a step closer to you. “Don’t worry. Dennis wanted to touch you, but I wouldn’t let him. Only I’m allowed to do that.”

“You better let me go. People will start looking for me soon, and when they do, they’ll find you, and you’ll get what you deserve.”

“You’re not leaving, and no one is coming for you.” His voice was deep and low, almost a growl. He put his hands on the edge of the bed and bent down until he was at your level. “I knew from the moment I saw you, you were the one for me. I wouldn’t let anyone else have you.” He hopped up on the end of the bed. “That guy didn’t deserve you. That’s why I...” “Oh, my God!” you cried, your eyes wide. “You killed him!”

“I had to. I couldn’t let him take what’s mine.” He crawled closer to you, setting off alarm bells in your head.

You spit on him, your saliva landing on his nose and dripping onto his mouth. “I will never be yours.”

You expected him to be angry, for his blue eyes to fill with rage, but instead, his grin grew larger, and he ran his tongue over his lips, lapping up your spit. “You’re feisty.” He reached a hand towards you. You tried to squirm out of his grasp, but he wrapped his fingers around your neck. “I like it.”

You felt him press down on your throat, not enough to cut off your airway, but enough that you knew it would leave bruises. He lowered his head to your neck, and you squeezed your eyes shut, anticipating him to sink his teeth into your flesh. However, he licked a stripe up the length of your neck, pressing a kiss to your jaw.

“Oh, my pet. I won't hurt you. As long as I don’t have to.” He kissed your cheek, tasting your tears. “Eventually, I’ll make you submit to me. I’ll make you mine. And then it will be just you and me. Forever.”