#split heartbreak

Tonight, I called you from a different number. It's sad to say I memorize it like every inch of your body. You answered and "hello"  was all I heard before I hanged up. I slammed the phone on the wall and laid on the floor, watching my tears hit the ground. Another regret, another missed opportunity. I've been desperate to hear your voice, to see your smile, to feel your embrace. I wanted to tell you how much I loved you and that I'm no longer mad of what happened in the past; I wanted to let you back in, I wanted to do everything again while forgetting the pain you've caused me, the pain I caused you. I needed to let you know I've missed you while you were gone, and the days you were here that we never spent together. You should know that each night I spent dreaming of the day that you would walk through the door like you use to; getting picked on in the middle of class and not knowing how to answer the question because I was thinking of the times when you use to make me laugh, thinking of your eyes, the smile that left me without air in my lungs. I can't lie and say that I fell in love with someone new because I didn't, I couldn't move on as fast as you did; and even if I did, I can't look him in the eyes and say that I love him because those words were only meant for you. I wanted to say something, but what else can I say that you haven't already heard from my lips and the letters written?

I have all this love for you but no where to store it.

-- Topaz P.