#split fanfic

But no matter how happy he was, Barry still felt a bit of sadness because even he could see that there was something hurting Alex, something that was stopping her from feeling the same joy he had in his heart. He had always known that he’d have to be prepared to be rejected by their soulmate purely because of his condition, but he never expected to be met with sadness before he had even had the chance to introduce himself. He wasn’t sure what had happened to her, but he knew that, if she allowed him to, he’d want to make sure that sadness would be replaced with a smile. 

Alex found herself in front of a small café that was only a five minute walk away from the therapist’s office. It looked quite quiet inside, despite the busy traffic outside, which she was very grateful for. Nodding a thank you to Barry for holding the door open for her, she stepped in and looked around - there were only a few patrons there and plenty of empty tables were free for them to have what she suspected was going to be one of the most difficult conversations in her life. 

“What do you want to drink, Alex?”

She heard Barry ask and she immediately looked up at the chalkboard menu on the wall, her head swimming with options. She tried to open her mouth and  reply with anything, but no voice came out. She was still unable to fully speak and her cheeks flushed, ashamed of her own anxiety getting the best of her. 

But Barry just smiled reassuringly and gently placed his hands on her shoulder, right on top of his mark. He may not know or understand what’s going on in her mind, but he could tell that at that very moment, he needed to just offer that extra bit of support so he looked up at the menu and offered,

“How about we just get a teapot to share? Is Earl Grey okay?”

Alex was shocked to hear him speaking up with a choice, taking a lot of pressure off her shoulders. She nodded, this option was fine with her and the smile she received in return made her feel a bit more at ease as well. 

After Barry had ordered and picked up their teapot from the barista, he led her to one of the more secluded areas to sit down. She had picked up the cups for the both of them before following him, happy that he had chosen a private space for them. She may not fully know what was to come but she had a gut feeling that it would not be a simple ‘how’s the weather today’ type of a conversation. There was a silence between them as they settled in at the table for two, neither of them wanting to scare the other off it seemed. Once sat and both of their breathing had calmed, Barry finally looked at her properly and spoke up with his voice being gentle and soft, something that didn’t fully suit his massive frame.

“So, as I mentioned before, I do have a couple of marks on me. Now… before I continue, I just want you to know that I won’t force anything that you don’t want, Doll, so please just speak your mind on what I’m about to explain to you.”

He paused for a moment and looked across the table at Alex, the fear of just outright rejection slowly building up in his chest. She remained as silent as she had been, there wasn’t any indication that she would bolt again so he continued,

“There’s no smooth way to say this because I can’t really sugarcoat any part of it too much so here goes nothing… The reason why I visit doctor Fletcher is because I have DID.”

“DID?”

“Dissociative identity disorder. Have you heard of it maybe?”

Barry was praying to whoever was listening that she wouldn’t run, and that she would have heard at least something about his condition. He really didn’t want to explain the details of what it is and how it came to be, it wasn’t really a conversation to have over tea in his opinion. Luckily Alex nodded and whispered softly,

“I read about it a little when I looked Doctor Fletcher up.”

Barry gave her a kind smile and his heart was breaking just a little at how delicate she sounded. He didn’t know if it was the soul bond between the two of them but he felt an immense drive to make sure that nothing would spook Alex. He just had to make sure that none of her words would get lost between them, he’d always make sure her voice was heard at least by him. He was also relieved that she had some knowledge on his condition since this would save him from explaining everything from scratch. 

Barry poured some tea for the both of them and started to explain a bit more in the meantime,

“Now this is all speculation from doc’s side but she seems to be under the impression that there is a possibility that all of us in Kevin’s body might actually share a soulmate. We all seem to have a mark correlated to us, however it is just statistically unlikely that we haven’t even met a single one of our soulmates yet so… She seems to think it’s actually just one person. In our little situation, she thinks it’s you who’s the soulmate to all of us. Now-”

“How many?”

Alex had cut him off before he could continue and he looked at her for a moment, unsure if he should answer truthfully, scared it might frighten her too much. Barry sighed, knowing it would cause more harm to lie so he replied,

“24 in total. Kevin is the host, the OG so to speak. The others, me included, came later on and so did the extra marks.”

There was a moment of silence, tense of the unknown. Alex’s mind was going a thousand miles per hour as she tried to grasp the situation at hand. She had met one of her soulmates but it then turned out that it is most likely all of them. She thought that she would be happy but it was all so overwhelming for her to even fully accept. She took a deep breath before she spoke her mind,

“There are 24 marks on me as well, Barry. So I think that Doctor Fletcher might be right. It’s a lot to take in though, I honestly do not know what to say or do or if I should be happy or sad or…”

Her words got caught in her throat and she clamped up once again, unable to verbalize her trail of thoughts fully. Her eyes started darting from Barry to the outside to her mug and to her hands, not sure if she should run or stay. There were so many thoughts and images flashing through her brain that it all just blurred together in a consistent state of movement and screaming. 

Without thinking too much about it, Alex pulled out a piece of paper from her bag along with a pen and jolted down her name and phone number before she grabbed everything and bolted out of the door without uttering a single syllable. She needed to get out, away from the man who would be responsible for every single one of her marks over time. She just couldn’t look at him because deep down, without her even fully realizing it, her heart was slowly starting to beat only for them.

Back at the coffee shop, Barry was dumbfounded, still sitting at the table. This had been the second time that day his soulmate had fled from him but he knew it would cause a lot of harm if he were to go after her this time. He picked up the piece of paper and very carefully put it in his wallet to make sure he wouldn’t lose it. He finished his cup and looked out of the window, trying to soothe the ache in his chest from the very slight rejection he was feeling from the escape of his soulmate. His efforts were in vain however because from somewhere, he could hear Hedwig innocently asking,

“Is she scared of me et cetera?”

< Chapter 2                                                       Chapter 4 Coming soon >

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The sky was a deep shade of blue/purple except for the bright orange strip that lay across the horizon where the sun was slowly rising. Marcia lazily stared out of the truck window, her eyes almost completely closed. Her father wasn't much of a strict man, he wasn’t one to rule with an iron-fist. However when it came to driving, he was very meticulous. Every trip had to be planned with the utmost precision and perfect execution. Her father was a man who preferred to get the job done quickly and with as little stops or delays as possible. For Marcia and her ten year old brother this meant having to endure the eight hour long drive from Ohio to Pennsylvania, Philadelphia to be precise. Most parents would probably have driven halfway, checked into a room for the night and then carried on in the morning when everyone had been refreshed but her dad wasn't like that. He made exactly one, ten-minute stop, for gas and to stretch legs then it was back on the road as soon as. She rolled her eyes thinking about it.

“Are we almost there?” A yawn garbled the end of her sentence but she was far too tired to repeat it.

“Got about two more hours left baby-girl, be smart like your brother and sleep.” He glanced at his son through the mirror and then over to his daughter.

Her eyes fluttered gently, the low hum of the radio lulled her into a deep sleep.

A knocking sound resonated in Marcia's head, she groaned as she realised that she was being woken up. As she hesitantly opened her eyes, they adjusted to the sudden and harsh daylight, she wished for the night sky to be back again. The pre-sunrise sky, the sky that resembled a Van Gogh painting splattered with calming purple and orange tones. She sighed and sat upright. Her father knocked on the window again as he waved a set of keys around and grinned widely. Marcia's brother, Thomas, was already making his way into the house carrying a box from the U-haul that was attached to the truck. Marcia opened the truck door and jumped out. “I’m afraid Tom has already picked out his room Marsh.”

She had never really thought about the nickname her dad had given her years ago - but after hearing it for the first time in a long time, she realised how pointless it was and if anyone else were to call her that she would laugh. Her dad was the only person that could get away with it. She smiled. “It's fine, as long as it can fit my stuff in there - I'm happy.”

“Moving van got here an hour ago, they've taken your bed up if you want to go and have a look.”

“How long did you let me sleep in the car for?”

“You looked too peaceful to disturb and you were up the whole night.” He shrugged and walked into the house with his daughter.

Philadelphia seemed like a nice place and Marcia hoped that this would be a lot more entertaining than the street she lived on in Ohio.

The first week goes by rather quickly and even though Marcia is excited to explore the new state she calls home, she stays at home for the week to help out and concentrate on where she wants to put everything. Her new room is much bigger than her old one so she enjoys the added freedom and space.

The new week starts at 6:35 in the morning, when Marcia finally gets the strength to pull herself out of bed. Today she was starting her new school which filled her with a mix of anxiety and excitement. She was running back and forth between her wardrobe and the tidy little bathroom that she had to herself. A knock on the door snaps her into reality. Marcia realises that she let time escape from her when Thomas appears in her doorway fully dressed and she stands there in just her underwear and a sweater.

“Dad said hurry up or you won't get a ride to school.”

“I can walk.” She looks on her bed at the choices of skirts and jeans she's put out.

Thomas rolls his eyes and turns on one foot. “She said she can walk! Can we go now?”

Her dad runs up the stairs. “Look at the time, what have you been doing Marsh?”

She shrugs. “I didn't know what to wear.” She pulls on a pair of black leggings.

“Okay well I have to go and I can see that you're still not ready yet.” He points to her hair. “Have a good day, you'll be fine okay?”

“I know.” She smiles. “Thanks dad.”

“Love you Marsh.”

“You too.”

He disappears down the stairs and she carries on with her morning routine.

Almost an hour later, she rushes out of the house with her bag on her back and her iPod in her hand. Marcia sets it to shuffle after putting one earphone in place and shoves it into her pocket. Marcia watches the houses as she struts down the walkway of her new home. A few mothers and fathers are loading cars with children and some are waving them off of doorsteps. A man emerges from the house directly across the street two doors down and stands on his porch. He watches the children walk down the road with their parents and greets them silently with his arms folded across his chest. The man seems to be dressed for work, in a tightly buttoned grey collared shirt and matching trousers but he just stands there outside his house. Marcia hadn't realised that she had stopped walking until the man locked eyes with her. She wanted to look away but there was something about him, she couldn't work out if it was a bad thing or not but the way that he just stood there intrigued her. She mentally shook it off and kept walking, she had to otherwise there would have been no point of making an appearance at her new school. Marcia turned around before she was at the end of the road, only to find that the man was still staring at her.

Making friends was not a problem for Marcia, so the day went by quickly and smoothly for her. The faculty were not even bothered by the fact that she strolled into school an hour and a half late. She was already starting to like Philadelphia. A bell sounded over the school's PA system and she waved goodbye to her new friends, Claire and Casey. The only thing that remotely bothered Marcia was homework and although the faculty didn't bother to scold her for being late, they gave her a few assignments to do, so that she could catch up with the other kids in her classes. She decided that she would need to pick up a textbook or two if she was expected to catch up with work and thought it would be best to visit the library.

The large door swung open before she could extend her arm and her stomach dropped a little. The somewhat creepy man she had encountered that morning, emerged from the dark library with a set of keys in his hand. He made her feel even more uneasy standing so close to her. His left eyebrow was raised and his brows were furrowed, making him look angry and standoffish. The mans cold, icy blue eyes pierced Marcia's delicate, brown ones. “This is closed for today.” His voice was deep and monotonous.

“Oh, okay. W-What time does it open in the morning?”

“Eight.” He spoke and turned around immediately to lock the door.

Marcia scanned the hallway to see if anyone was still around but it was empty. Desolate. She turned on one foot and began to walk towards the exit. Marcia could feel the man watching her as she walked away but she didn't dare to turn around. He could have been the world's nicest man but there was something about his stare, especially up close, that made her uneasy. Marcia plugged a single earphone in and started down the road for the walk home.

When she got there, her father was standing on the front lawn speaking to a woman with shoulder-length, blonde hair. “Hey Marsh! Eva this is my daughter, Marcia this is Eva who lives across the street.”

“Very nice to meet you.” The woman beams. “You just started the school down the road? My daughter Claire should be in your class.”

“I met her today, she's real nice!”

“You should come and say hello again, I live just there!” Eva pointed at the house across the road, one door down which was right beside the creepy maintenance guys house.

“Sure.” Marcia smiles and follows her across the road.

“I was actually talking to your dad about getting someone to help walk the dogs with Claire, we have four of them and she just can't handle it.” Marcia started to daydream, Eva's voice just a drone in the back of her head. Marcia was concentrating on the house next door. She was brought back to reality when Eva knocked the door and her daughter, Claire, answered. “Also I would pay you!”

“That sounds good.” Marcia had no idea what she was agreeing to but she was going to get paid for it.

“Nice to see you again, come in.” Claire smiled.

Eva introduced Marcia to the four family dogs and then left her to hang out upstairs in Claire's room.

Claire hummed along to the song that was on the radio, whilst Marcia watched the busy street from the window ledge. A silver SUV pulled up to the house next door and moments later, the man emerged. “Hey”, she spoke to get Claire's attention. “What are your neighbours like?”

“Well on the right we've got a family of six which can get pretty loud...but we're no better with four dogs, are you kidding me!” She laughed. “Then on the left there's Dennis.”

“Dennis?” Marcia questioned, pressing for more information.

“Dennis Crumb. He's quiet but odd.”

“Odd, how so?”

“He just stares at people sometimes, I've noticed him stare at me before. He never smiles too but you know what makes it even worse?”

“What?”

“Apparently Dennis isn't even his real name and he was supposed to go to jail years ago but he got off because of some mental disorder.”

“A-Are you serious? What's wrong with him?”

“I don't know but one time I was walking the dogs and one of them did their business on his grass, but before I could get a bag out to scoop it up - he freaks out and starts going nuts.”

“Wow.” Nothing like this had ever happened in her old neighbourhood in Ohio, even if that was just a rumour. Everyone in Marcia's old neighbourhood was devastatingly polite and sociable. “What did he do to almost go to jail?”

“I don't know. I just heard my mum talking about it with Mrs. Peters - the woman next door. You know he works at our school? I try to be nice to him but he always scowls at me or just stares. Weird right?”

“Weird.” Marcia mumbled, she couldn't stop thinking about him. Dennis. “Anyway I should go. Dads probably got dinner ready. See you tomorrow?”

“Meet me out here at 8 and we can walk together!” Claire suggests with a smile. Marcia returns it and leaves. She can't help but take a glance at his house before she crosses the road.

At the dinner table, their father presses both of them for information on how their first day went. He also mentions that the two of them should make efforts to get to know everyone in the neighbourhood, just in case. Marcia thinks of Dennis. She questions if her dad knows anything about him but he says that he has not heard anything yet. For a split second, Marcia wonders if Claire had exaggerated her stories but something tells her that she didn't. “I'm gonna head up. Got some work to do and some sleep to catch up on.”

“Love you Marsh, sleep tight.”

She spent hours browsing on her laptop, an hour or so was even spent searching about this mysterious ‘Dennis Crumb’ but nothing turned up and Marcia quickly remembered when Claire had said Dennis wasn't his real name. Marcia was desperate to know more, she wondered what his name really was and why he had to change it - she was curious about the stern-faced man across the road.

The smile on his lips slowly faded away though as he realized that his excitement was most definitely not matched. Alex looked horrified and all the blood had drained from her face as she just stared at the stranger in front of her. Her mind was running as fast as it could, trying to figure out what had just happened, what to say, how to stand, how to speak. And eventually, she could recognize only one thought - ‘Run… Run… I need to run!’

“I have to go, I just remembered that I… have to go.”

She whispered out, looking away from the man. She then quickly turned around and rushed down the stairs and immediately out of the building. The rain had picked up even more and the cold downpour was a welcomed guest to Alex as it cleared her mind just a little bit. She made her way down the street, dodging the people and making sure she didn’t stick out in the crowd. She needed a place to hide herself for just a moment, a tucked away alley or something where she could catch her breath and collect herself. 

Taking a turn to her right, she finally leaned against the wall of what seemed to be a small apartment complex. Her lungs were struggling to calm themselves from both the shock of sudden rushing, and from meeting someone she didn’t think she would ever meet. Her fingers gently rested on her shoulder where his mark was located, the rain creating some white noise for her to just disappear from the world a little bit. Alex just wanted to exist as no one for a moment, give herself that peace of not having to deal with anything. 

Rain fell onto her face and the wind turned her cheeks a bright shade of red but she didn’t notice anything around her. Alex felt her breath calming down to the point where she spent more time in a state of holding her breath than she did actively breathing. This allowed her to very slowly return to reality and she looked up at the sky, allowing the drops to coat her entire face as she tried to go over everything that had happened in the past couple of minutes of her life.

Alex had met one of her soulmates, there was no denying that. She didn’t even catch his name or a good look of his face but from what she could remember, he was a force to be reckoned with. He had a big muscular frame, even though it was hidden by the baggy coat and jeans. He was fashionable, she couldn’t deny that, and the beanie he wore gave her a youthful image. Much younger than his face portrayed, and she had a feeling that underneath the hat, he was fully shaven. And his eyes had been so kind, especially when he had realized that she was his soulmate. She could have sworn she saw them sparkle for a second. 

But Alex couldn’t go back to him, she didn’t want to pass on the pain that he’d have to share her with 23 other people who were still somewhere out there. There were rumors of what happened to those who ignored the connection between soulmates, but she was certain that it must be a lot smaller compared to the agony of someone having to be together with such an attention whore as herself. Alex just couldn’t risk seeing the disappointment of the man’s face. 

With a soft sigh of a held breath leaving her lips, Alex pushed herself to stand from the wall and took out her phone. She sent Doctor Fletcher a short email, saying that she unfortunately has to cancel her appointment and to let her know if she would need to pay for any kind of fee for a no-show since she did cancel at such a short notice. Tension was rising in her body as she knew it was not the most polite thing to do but she couldn’t risk seeing that man once again. She’d just find a new therapist somewhere far away from this place, maybe she could try online therapy instead. 

While pulling her headphones out of her bag, she put them on and turned back onto the busy street. Alex could feel an emptiness in her chest and it was weighing her down, but she just kept walking in the opposite direction to the good doctor’s office. The tears were stinging her eyes, but she just excused it to herself as it was a result of the rain and wind irritating them. It was easier that way for her to accept what she had chosen to do. It was always easier for her to just continue to exist in her current state than to risk any changes.

It was made clear to her that the Universe had other plans for her however because the first person she saw when she finally looked up from her shoes was that man. Her soulmate. It was clear he had been running from his ragged breathing and red face. He smiled at her though and tried to catch his breath as he spoke up,

“There you are, I’ve been running up and down the street like a loon.”

His voice was filled with happiness and the smile on his face never dropped as he swallowed and let out a final big breath. Alex looked up at him, unable to say anything, because the glimmer in his eyes made her heart and stomach erupt into millions of tiny yellow butterflies. She bit her bottom lip hard to make sure she wouldn’t smile back as the man finally introduced himself.

“I’m Barry by the way, and you have no idea how hard I’ve tried to find you.”

‘Barry… sounds cheerful.’

Alex thought to herself before she softly whispered,

“I’m Alex. I…”

She trailed off, unable to actually say that she thought it would be best for them to part ways out loud. No one knew of her numerous soul marks, she was sure even her parents had forgotten the full amount, and part of her had always thought she wouldn’t meet even one of them so she never really thought about how she’d tell them about it. Luckily for her, Barry spoke up once again.

“Listen, I’ve got a feeling we need to talk about some things because I’ve got a couple more marks on me.”

He said those words with such ease as if they were talking about the weather. Alex’s eyes widened and her breath got caught in her chest - he had more marks too? How many did he have? It possibly couldn’t be as many as she did. So many questions ran through her head and she was getting so overwhelmed that she had to dig her fingernails into the palm of her hand to keep herself grounded in the moment. She knew she had to say something, anything, but the best she could do was nod. It was as if her mind and body were refusing her to open her mouth.

Barry could see the amount of anxiety and tension coursing through Alex’s veins and he let out a sad chuckle before he tilted his head and said softly,

“Come, I know a quiet place and don’t worry about Doctor Fletcher. I mentioned to her what happened and she’s more than happy to reschedule with you.”

He somehow had an inkling that Alex would worry about her session and whether or not it would be rescheduled on time so he made sure to run up to his therapist’s office first and give her a short summary of what had happened before he ran after her. It looked like it was the right move on his side as Alex gave him a soft smile and another nod. 

He motioned her to follow him, knowing it would be a bit too forward of him to put his arm around her at that moment. Alex started to walk half a step behind him, still unable to speak, but something in her chest was slowly blooming. Like the first snowdrop popping its head through the cold ground as the first sign of spring. 

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