#splintered selves

Look it her

Nobody had really forced him to create it - though it had been admittedly alarming when he had scribbled over any attempt at drawing his own face, frustrated and seemingly struggling to reconcile his adult appearance with his current self. Even now, resting his hand on the canvas, he shut his eyes and tried to sculpt the image from fragmented descriptions and fleeting glances.

Another year had flown by without him noticing. This time, however, he'd moved out of the Lees' estate into a comfortable ground-floor apartment with his two spouses and it had been his first year being somewhat independent since his attempt (had it been twelve years already?), which he relished. He let the quiet scratching of the charcoal against the sheet guide him, not once opening his eyes while his hand flew across the canvas effortlessly.

---

He recalled what Dankyung had said of him when she had carefully touched his face, taking in his features through her hands. "Painfully average," she had snarked to him when he had asked if she found him handsome, but when she had once again traced his features with her fingers patiently, he gained a sudden clarity on how he was presented to her, a jolt he hadn't quite felt before.

Your chin is so sharp, it frames your face surprisingly nicely. Not terribly bushy brows, and your eyes are probably large - double-lids, I reckon. Not a particularly big nose...or mouth, for that matter.

There then came the part where Jooyoung came over to tug at his cheeks, curious at the thought experiment that had been taking place. She had been trying to form a smile, pushing his cheek up with her hands with the same bright stare he remembered falling for the first time they'd met.

It's not that sharp when I squish it like this! Besides, he always smirks, having that neutral look just isn't accurate. You have to smirk at us like you do when you watch us across the room! That way Dankyung can take in your shit-eating grin and know that's how you look at us.

He pulled away, threading his hands into Jooyoung's to stop her from manipulating his face as he once again leant into Dankyung's waiting arms. "Hey now, I'm not taking suggestions at the moment," he remembered scoffing to them then, "This face is priceless, and solely for you both only. Do you know how many employees from Hangjo's marketing department beg me to endorse the products we make on a regular basis? Drink it up. Nobody else gets to be this close to the goods, ok."

----

When he lifted his hand from the canvas, there was a moment's hesitation as he opened his eyes to take in what he had created.

Sure enough, an image of himself was reflected upon it - head slightly arched, eyes closed with a smile that seemed radiant and for once genuinely free. He startled, taking this in for a moment before carefully cleaning up the rest of the sketch almost reverently, as if worried that he would ruin the piece.

Did the OC Optics meme from @neo-kajatrash before Artfight starts

While doing nothing I started drawing lots and lots of stooges because what is the point of buying CSP forever if I don't use them

Jangil, who usually tiptoed into bed after late nights, had been curled to his left side - he'd always rested on his left side to avoid placing pressure on his stump, and he slept with his head on the inner part of his left arm, an unfortunate habit carried over from power naps during long prosecution investigations. Even then, he was peaceful, seemingly for once devoid of his usual schemes.

Dankyung was the first to stir, as always, having kept a rigid schedule since her childhood. She had the choice to gravitate towards Jangil or Jooyoung for warmth, and Jooyoung had been chosen as she untangled herself from the other woman's tangle of limbs before sitting up and giving a stretch from the bed. She slept lightly (being a tactician of an army meant she did not rest often), but she did try, for the sake of her spouses, to avoid disturbing them.

Jooyoung clung to her giant seal plushie, whimpering the moment Dankyung removed herself from her. She had been tightly swaddled into the blanket, squirming slightly while moved before finally settling back in, clearly enjoying her time in her fortress of softness. Out of the lot, she had had the worst time adjusting to sleeping properly, but even while resting, her right hand rested under her pillow where she had a dagger clutched in, almost never able to rest without having some form of resistance available to her.

Separated by a cushioned partition laid Jinhee, who rested with arms to his sides and staring up at the ceiling - while this might seem a deeply uncomfortable way to rest, it had been something he had been very used to, and even as he continued to sleep, the breathing tube in his neck moved rhythmically up and down slightly with a minor wheeze between every breath. Even then, he was made comfortable in the unique medical bed he slept in, with additional pillows cushioning most of his body.

Dankyung often was the first to rise, and she carefully tucked Jooyoung back in before gently moving her away to start her day. She knew how long the bed was from muscle memory, and crawling forward to hop off from it took minimal effort. It hadn't taken her much time to make her way to the kitchen, a room or two away, and start preparing breakfast.

Jooyoung had spent that time patting the empty space to her left and scowling at having no spouse to cuddle. The next best option was Jangil, and she had effortlessly absorbed him into a shared blanket without resistance. They all understood why she did the things she did, and so the others continued to rest while Dankyung spent some quiet time preparing various food she'd retrieved from the fridge.

It hadn't taken long for Jangil too to get up, sliding his leg over to the side of the bed before pulling his cane closer to himself so he could hobble over towards the bathroom to start washing up. Jooyoung, now bereft of her snuggle target, rolled over to start fighting one of the cushioned partitions separating her from Jinhee instead. It was obvious she was clearly unwilling to give up on sleep without a fight.

"Morning," Jangil had wrapped his free arm around Dankyung's waist, "And what is on the menu this morning, beside my beautiful wife?"

"My painfully average husband, if you don't let go," Dankyung did not resist against the firm grip despite her snark, "I just pulled out a few things in the fridge - the Braille label dispenser is really putting in overtime. Some leftover bacon and toast, maybe a few eggs."

"I do like eggs," Jangil kissed her on the neck before finally pulling away, "Let me go wake the others."

He'd retreated to the bedroom again, gently tugging at Jooyoung's seal plush (the only way, they'd learnt, would wake her). Jooyoung whined, clinging tighter to the toy as Jangil continued to tug at it gently to dislodge it from her grasp. "Come on, you gotta wake up," Jangil had sighed, resorting to pushing the plush into her so he could try to retrieve it, "There's eggs and bacon."

"Nuh," Jooyoung pulled away from Jangil, though it was obvious now she was clearly just being petulant, "I want my eggs and bacon in bed. Don't touch my seal, or else I'll bite you."

"I might be into it," Jangil continued to harass the plush, all while avoiding the snapping jaws of his wife trying to find purchase despite her eyes still being closed, "Don't threaten me with a good time."

The quiet puffing across them stopped abruptly, and the far end of the bed contorted to allow Jinhee to sit up. "You all are making such a fuss," he rasped, resting his arms over the cushioned partition as he watched the duo fight in amusement, "Is breakfast ready?"

"Almost!" wafted Dankyung's voice from the kitchen, and Jooyoung tried once again to roll over.

"Morning, handsome," cooed Jangil softly, casually squishing Jooyoung's plush while he leant in, "What brings you here this fine day? Couldn't stop thinking about me, I see."

"Your wife welded my medical bed to yours. I'm being held prisoner within this household," Jinhee frowned, though he rubbed noses with Jangil with quiet amusement, "At least you all feed and clothe me, I could not imagine being trapped here otherwise."

Jangil released Jinhee as he shuffled off to the bathroom on his walker, before once again trying to remove Jooyoung's seal from her - this resulted in her curling further into a ball, cupping her seal inside her doing so. After being snuffled (in which she erupted into bubbles of cheery giggles), Jooyoung too had finally woken up, brushing her hair sleepily while sitting crosslegged in bed.

Really, most of his body didn't work the way he would prefer them to - but he'd adapted to allow himself some leeway, and the tools he'd been gifted by the professor three years ago served him well. He had made some liberal edits to the implements that were permanently installed into him while he had the time, his body more calcified into clay with his patron's affiliation. If anything, having a clay replacement for the tube that kept his airways open meant that it acted as an artificial extension his body didn't reject, and he could easily recreate and replace the outer section without disturbing the inner cannula he used to clear any blockages.

Even then, he sighed quietly as he dusted the stone arrowhead mounted before him with a small brush, trying to examine every detail he could from the structure before pushing himself away, shining the beam of light onto it as if to try to expose any blemishes. Everything he crafted needed to be perfect, unlike his now broken and unreliable self, and when he was satisfied, he glanced up to see the door tinkle open and reveal the familiar professor inviting herself into the place.

Jinhee didn't like or dislike things anymore, after his condition had forced him into an existence that forced him to gauge his energy levels on a regular basis, and oftentimes was racked with so much pain that he had no capacity left to think. The professor's company, however, was one he enjoyed, and at some point, he'd began looking forward to her visits, her thoughtlessly barging into his presence before they'd realised they had more in common than expected.

"Oooh," the professor had cooed then, examining one of the shelves before turning towards him, stumbling slightly on her cane, "What are you making? I have cookies I bought from the bakery down the street you can eat before you continue. Show me, show me, I need to know-"

Jinhee waved at her as if to turn off her rambling. "A stone arrowhead from an anonymous source. I haven't gotten around to dating it yet. Not sure what to do with it - if it ends up being older than I suspect it is, I might end up keeping it," he commented blaisely, removing the mist collar and swapping over to the HME he'd gotten used to attaching to the end of his trach, "Right, since you're here, I have something here you might want."

He watched the professor perk before cheerfully hobbling over - for a moment, her radiance made him forget that she too had a difficult life, and was in as much pain as he often was. He could never understand how she kept her spirits up as much as she did (wasn't it exhausting?), but as she leant over his worktable, he pushed himself over towards the low shelves and retrieved the gift from it.

When he opened his palm towards her, he watched her take the dragon statue and peer at it through her gloved hands, squinting at it under the lamplight in curiosity and glee. "Oooh, dragon. Where is it from?" she asked, ever eager to have her questions answered, "It's pretty! Are you sure you want to give it to me?"

"I suspect it was broken off a chalice or cauldron, neither which is accessible to me right now for restoration purposes. Judging from the make, it's probably late-Silla architecture," Jinhee made his usual conjecture, watching the professor turn the small statue in her hands in one of her characteristic fidgets, "I sanded off the bottom, then removed most of the oxidised junk from its exterior. It should be an interesting novelty for you."

He watched the professor pocket the statue - it disappeared into one of her many strange satchels, satchels that seemed to hold physically impossible amounts of items. "Thank you!" she chirped, her green eyes twinkling with barely contained excitement before she waved her arms at him, "Can I hug you as thanks? Please?"

Jinhee examined her once again - she lacked malice, and had never stated a word about his current, unsightly form. If anything, he'd seen the extent of her supposed accident, only once, but even a glimpse of it made his stomach churn and forced him to question how he viewed himself.

(The only other time he had questioned himself was when he had to confront Woojin's corpse, moments before that god from the tower had brought him back to life. He had told himself he had never wanted to see the extent of his burns ever again - and in Woojin's presence, would never complain about his chronic pain.)

Who was he to deny her? She always seemed earnest, and he sighed before giving her a nod - she dived into him happily, burrowing up against his body quickly and letting go just as fast. It always seemed fascinating to him how acutely she seemed to be aware of people's likes and dislikes just from a few moments of cohabitation, and unlike the constant twinge of pain he had from a fraying nervous system, she had ensured to leave him only a small amount of warmth.

She grinned back at him, a lopsided one that seemed as bright as the sun itself. He nodded back, uncertain of how to feel about the matter as she once again meandered to some of the chairs to sit in them, crossing her legs and perching on them like a bird. He shook his head, returning to his next project - sieving through a small stack of heavily oxidised copper coins that he was trying to rinse off in a nearby basin.