#spirals.

I use to think that it was me - that I got everything wrong. Mixed up the top from the bottom. Did everything backwards or the hard way. No the hardest way. I use to think that I misunderstood the concepts. That I couldn’t connect two events. Nothing was ever smooth, everything was so difficult. I use to think it was my fault when things went wrong. That I had missed a vital element when I put together the puzzle. No matter how obsessed I was with following the instructions I couldn’t produce a stable or even correct output. I use to think it was me – that I couldn’t do anything right. Now I know it was you. You taught me everything I know. You were the one who was wrong. Who had misstepped, traced the lines incorrectly, connected the dots improperly. You numbered everything in no particular order and then switched them up adding more instructions. You made everything seems so easy because it made sense in your head but not in translation. You did everything the hardest way and taught me how to make it threw life the same as you had. That wasn't easy for me. To make heads or tails of your concepts. To connect unrelated events, to shove puzzle pieces into incorrect spots, only to believe that was truly were they fit. You screwed, damaged, destroyed my view of the world, made it so abstract and difficult that at times I was tired of existing with in it's confines. You taught me how to do everything wrong. You taught me the hardest way, the darkest way, the loneliest way.