Whitnerly

Part One: Fire Flies

He told me to keep him always

But he doesn’t know that I close the lid

On jars too tight

That I always forget to poke holes on top

And I never remember to let in the light

He told me to keep him always

Because he believed I was enough

But what if I close the lid to tight

And drowned out all the light

He told me to keep him always

But I am going to set him free

Because he deserves better than me

Part Two: Carcass

He told me to keep him always

But I closed the lid on the jar too tight and

Forgot to poke the holes on top

He told me to keep him always

Because he believed I was enough

I tore the wings from his back

And pulled the flicker of lights

From his fingers tips

He told me to keep him always

But I drowned out all of his light

And sucked all the air from his lungs

He told me to keep him always

But he should have begged me to set him free

My mom always told me that when I found true happiness that I would stop writing. She also told me not to worry because there will come a time when I will be ready to pick up a pencil and write again. Only what I will write now will out shine what I wrote before.  

Shattered, shattered like cheap glass

Under the weight of a plastic cup

The damn broke into sharp pieces

Splintered off like a warning

A warning not to shout so loud

Over the roaring rush of water crashing

Against bone

A warning with promise to rebuild

The damn stronger

Stronger is all it ever tried to be

Stronger is all it ever tried to be

All that needed to happen

Was to contain the water

Don’t let it seep out any more cracks

The pressure was too much

The water crashed violently into the valley

Pulling trees from there roots

Ripping rocks from deep within the mud

Destroying the wasteland

That became when the damn was first built

The water settled after awhile

Glistening in the sun,

Warming for the first time in too many years

Seeping into the dirt

With the intention to create a new world

Weaving life back into the wasteland

Drowning never felt so good

Freedom never tasted so delicious

Drowning never felt so good

Truth is there is no perfect timing

No place more alive then the present

Where the moments come together

In ways you have spent your entire life denying

Beauty is neither a face nor a smile

Rather a feeling that stirs deep inside

A sensation buried beneath so much

The idea is intangible,

It is simply unobtainable

Until now, until those words-

Those words cracked an unbreakable seal

As if all the time spent constructing safety

Was futile because the true strength

Of the steal was indeed bendable

How could something so secure

Crumble under the weight of a voice

Beauty is neither a face nor a smile

Rather a feeling of worth in the eyes

Of the one who’s lips made you believe

Something you have never been able

To convince yourself of

Truth is the timing has never been

More perfect, no moment more alive

Then the one in which he convinced me

Memorizing the way your smile curves

When your eyes meet mine

The way your eyes twinkles with hope

In the dark recesses of your mind

Memorizing the rhythmic music

Beating from within your chest

The warmth of your bare skin against mine

In the heat of to much desire to ignore

Memorizing the way your lips form

I love you, like life themselves

The way those words fill me with

More then I can ever express

I have spent the last few days memorizing

Smeared into the white a gentle cream

Speckled by brown and kissed with light shades of red

Light enough to barely whisper pink

Marbles bluer then the ocean pressed into the canvas

Twinkle as the soft red curves into the perfect half moon

Dimpled just enough to resemble a smile

Yellow, red and blue half circle

Green swirls and curves into thick lavish lines

Met by black, long black curves streaming down

And down and down

Hot pink peaks out of the black almost a shout

People glance over and admire the image

But they don’t stop to take it in

The color seeping into the white of the wall

All they see is a marvelous painting

They don’t notice that it moves

The chest expands and contracts

The marbles survey the room

In hopes to find someone who knows

Someone who can see; someone to say you are not alone

Sometimes in a crowded room

One melts too perfectly into the background

Lost into the walls as if a painting

But I am not a painting; hear me roar

Because all I want is for you to see me

In a room crowed with people

I want you to peel me from the wall

Wrap me in your warmth; tell me I am beautiful

Reach for me at your side, notice when I have wondered from your view

Miss me when hours have passed without a word spoken

Take away the lonely and replace it with your desire

To be near me

I am not a painting; please don’t leave me

To hang lonely against the wall

Please don’t let me be that person who feels so alone

In a room crowded with people