The local faire was as usual a nice time. I made a...
Glad you had a good time. Iâd like to see that guide. The folks I buy from are ones Iâve known for years and definitely donât do that. But there have been rumblings about retirement, so I may need someone else in the next couple of years.
Some of it is difficult. The usual telltales crop up if you look though - way too much plain but oddly remarkable garbage mixed in behind a more casual crop of biker stuff. Iâm in the ass western end of Pennsylvania so there is a lot of biker redneck stuff that sneaks into any public festival here. I would think a ren faire would weed it out easier, but still. Pittsburtucky once you get beyond the rivers.
So, okay. First of all, honestly people, if theyâre mixing biker stuff with viking stuff, that should be your first clue to look closely. If you see any of the following, consider carefully:
- iron cross bullshit. Easy tell. Always vaguely smart enough to not add the swastika in but itâs still plainly the iron cross. Usually filed with the biker skulls and some edgy eagleland shit so it doesnât stand out, and at the ren faire they (usually) donât flash confederate openly with the redneck bait. You end up standing there for a moment before you realize what youâre looking at.
- If theyâre catering to the viking crowd at all, itâs typically just Odin. Maybe two or three of the traditional hammer emblems, but no, usually itâs Odin shit. Of that, look specifically for headshots of Odin with no logos - especially if itâs really edgelord-looking. The Sons (sometimes Soldiers) of Odin think theyâre clever. Thatâs the fucknut group infiltrating around here. Also they keep stealing the Sons of Anarchy aesthetic, which just pisses me off.
Sometimes theyâll only have the Valknut (the nested triangles) out, which in itself hasnât been ruined as a symbol, but by god, theyâre trying. I know of at least one regular metalworker (Pepi) that tours the fairs that has a valknut and a hammer always on retail, but theyâre multi-faith and also have other things available. Make sure theyâre actually repping other parts of Asatru or even other faiths in general. Thatâs not perfect, but it helps.
- watch their damn tattoos. Sometimes theyâre smart with whatâs on display, but itâs hot and theyâre in bodices and shit, and they cannot help themselves. Once I only caught someone out with a HFFH peeking and an almost generic set of Futhark runes. Put together... yeah, he was a slime-o.
- watch their footwear. Ren faires require solid foot gear if youâre going to work a booth all day, but thereâs a lot of options available for that that fit into the gig. If the leather/metalworker youâre looking is still somehow wearing the shitkicker curbstomper special over his cheap leggings and a bad leather tunic ... well...
(seriously, this booth is literally that stupid. I CAN TELL THEYâRE MARTENS, YOU KNOB)
- Look for a âspecialâ section of the booth. Hereâs the 50/50. If itâs a quality non-racist leatherwork vendor, they may have a few somewhat kinkier pieces back here theyâll let you tour - damn good bodices, a few good collars, NSFW toys etc. If itâs a questionable booth, youâll realize theyâve got their whips and cat tails out front but still have a section hidden For Some Reason... Yeah. They... might have some shit back there. Use judgment.
- Trust your instincts. I canât tell you the number of times Iâve gone into a booth, gotten a âvibeâ (Iâm a small blonde white woman, so they donât go target-acquisition when I enter, but I can still detect The Vibe) and spoke to someone later that was like âyeaaaaah.... about that guy......â
- Other rennies know. If you see a booth where no other rennies ever visit to make small talk or anything, STRONG ODDS they are fucknuckles and you should avoid. Sometimes it gets busy, etc, but there should always be someone floating by eventually to give a friendly nod. If they donât, yikes.
