#spideyasks

You're so real for that!

🦌Lottie who says the wilderness wants you to keep in shape so you can be some kind of wilderness soldier?

🦌You don't really know what that means. All you know is that Lottie makes you do a regular exercise routine while she watches.

🦌If it wasn't clear enough, the wilderness didn't talk any of that bullshit to her!

🦌But she loves to see you sweaty and shirtless, the veins in your arms showing and she definitely drools a bit on that before dragging you off to her hut, saying that the wilderness said that sex with her would be the best kind of cardio.

🦌Even though she thought it was all a harmless lie, she had to cut back on your workouts because you started to feel sick from the double effort without proper nutrition.

🦌Lottie doesn't think she needs to, she really believes that the wilderness is protecting her (honestly, after the pit incident, I believe it too) and that she's 100% safe. But she loves how none of the girls can touch her, cause you're there like a guard dog.

🦌Lottie is also extremely possessive, and practically sticks to you 24/7, hugging your biceps.

🦌Come on, you're in the middle of a bunch of horny teenage girls stuck in the middle of nowhere. Maybe that's the only time Lottie doesn't like your muscles.

🦌She's certainly caught Shauna staring at you during dinner while you turned the bowl of food in your mouth like it was nothing. Or the looks Nat gave you when you were getting ready to go hunting with her.

🦌Now, I wanted to talk a bit about Lottie in the adult timeline, cause I'm completely in love with Lottie in any timeline.

🦌But imagine, marrying Lottie and helping her at the wellness center!!!

🦌You were the one who helped her from the start. For a start, you two got married! After all Lottie's years in Switzerland (you visited her all the time), the first thing you did was make it official.

🦌Lottie loves to remember the period when the center was being built, because she certainly has a photo album of you helping the workers build everything.

🦌The compression shirt you wore squeezing your biceps, photos of you carrying sacks of concrete and wood, photos where you're dirty with dirt and completely sweaty. And you didn't know why Lottie kept those, to you, you looked disgusting in those photos.

🦌Lottie always used them to relieve herself when you weren't around.

Which reminds me!

🦌Lottie always wanting to reward you for being such a good wife…

🦌Helping her put all the boxes of honey in the car so she can sell them, and the same night she's riding in your strap and saying what a good girl you were to her when you helped her.

🦌Helping some of the people at the center to get along and fit in, and she'll interrupt the conversation you were having to pull you into the cabin you two share and eat you out, squeezing the muscles in your thigh when you put too much weight on her shoulders.

🦌She's so fragile.

🦌She constantly reminds you how big you are compared to her, but how she's always in control.

🦌Making you say you belong to her while she suffocates you between her thighs.

🦌That woman is cruel!

“What did you say, love? I didn't hear you…” Of course she didn't listen, she was choking you between her thighs.

Mumbling words under Lottie, you slapped her thighs, letting her know you were running out of oxygen.

Rolling her eyes, the woman got off your face, only to sit on your waist. Her eyes glued to your shoulders, your muscles flexing. Your breathing slowly back to normal.

“You know, for someone your size, you have pretty mediocre stamina…” She says, running her hand tenderly through your hair. Almost as if she wasn't about to choke you to death a few seconds ago.

“I'm getting old…” You say, running your hands over your wife's hips.

Lottie's eyes darken at your gentleness. She wanted to break you!

“Do you want me?”

You've never nodded so quickly.

“Then tell me what I want to hear…”

“I'm yours, only yours.” Lottie's hands crept up, the woman's nails trailing down, leaving scratch marks from your neck to your abdomen.

“That's right. Mommy will take care of you.”

I don’t listen to enough industrial to be able to speak on it properly (I have like two death grips songs on my dirklist LOL) but he would listen to a lot of hip-hop, I think his music taste primarily involves modern hip-hop but it also sort of piggy backs on Dave’s music taste if that makes sense.

Dave likes People’s Instinctive Travels by A Tribe Called Quest (1990) —> Dirk likes We got it from here… Thank you 4 your service by A Tribe Called Quest (2016)

Dave likes Enter The Wu-Tang by The Wu-Tang Clan —> Dirk likes Liquid Swords by GZA

honestly what are they NOT lmao

izuku cannot cook to save his life but he always feels slightly guilty because katsuki is always cooking them food, so every now and then katsuki will let him cook them lunch for work the next day and if anyone even gives a sideways glance at how truly awful their food smells during lunch, katsuki will glare daggers into them while taking mouthfuls of the stuff. he just loves to see the proud smile on izukus face when he finishes the entire meal raving about how good it was.

the one thing izuku is good at making is bread, even better than katsuki (katsuki is still totally the better bread baker but AGAIN he lies and claims he’s not great at it because he is in love and a simp for izuku and loves to make his boy happy)

katsuki took night classes on massage therapy during their lasy year at UA because he knows how bad izuku's hands and arms hurt (ESPECIALLY when the weather changes) and the only way he knows how to fix it is by massaging them. (he literally has to force izuku to sit down and let him because he’ll deny it till he’s blue in the face that he's in any pain)

they have codependency issues so bad after the war that they’re literally inseparable for WEEKS before adults intervene and force them into therapy. like they have some part of their body touching each other at all times type of separation anxiety. (the final straw was when aizawa walked into the dorm kitchen to find katsuki giving izuku a piggyback ride while he walked all about in the kitchen trying to cook dinner for the class. izuku was passed out taking a nap during the whole ordeal.)

katsuki always washes izukus hair and does his curly hair haircare routine because no matter how many time he takes izuku through it, he always manages to fuck it up on his own.

Izuku pretends to be bad at it on purpose because he loves katsuki washing his hair he finds it hilarious that katsuki hasn’t figured it out yet

katsuki knows

they never outright confirm to the media if they’re dating or not, they don’t do PDA a whole lot, but they’re close enough that questions and rumors run wild. even when the media outright asks them they’re so vague it’s actually annoying

‘dynamight, what are your feelings towards deku?’ ‘right now? pretty fucking pissed he took down the villain right as I was closing in on him. took all the lime light away from me, the fucker.’

'hero deku! how are you and dynamight going to celebrate his new ranking in the hero chart? I'm sure it's going to be... explosive.' 'I think we're all going out with our former class mates for dinner or drinks or something. And kacchan is really good at controlling his quirk, so there's not going to be any unnecessary explosions, thats why he made it into the top 10!'

they are literally REQUIRED by their government issued therapist to not engage in PDA because:

1. their therapist is damn good at their job and knows the media coverage and public opinion on their relationship will send the pair of them into a tailspin and 

2. engaging in PDA will increase their codependency issues

They have a love-hate relationship with their therapist

the first time they argue after they get together is literally over groceries. because katsuki and izuku didn’t have any semblance of a friendship when they got to their teen years, katsuki didn’t see the midoriyas growing struggle with money. so when bakugo comes back from the store spending an extortionate amount on groceries that should've cost like ¥20,000 and he comes back having spent over ¥70,000 , izuku goes on an anxiety induced lecture about how careless katsuki was with their money, katsuki gets PISSED because he’s not careless and it spirals out of control until izuku finally burst out with ‘what are we gonna eat when all the food runs out and we have no more money’ and then, shocked and having no idea where izuku would that impression from has them sit down to have a conversation (okay actually i need someone to make this into a fic. shit i think i might make this into fic)

katsuki has a soft spot for mange-y and abandoned cats and will bring them home and take care of them until they're fully healed before rehoming them.

Izuku would never tell katsuki this, but he is very allergic to cats. He would rather die though than tell him and ruin his rehoming hobby.

izukus guilty pleasure is trash reality tv. (im talking like KUWTK and jersey shore type of trash reality tv) katsuki rolls his eyes at it and will tease izuku over it, but izuku will always find him standing behind the couch watching it while izuku is binging watching the episodes he's missed.

katsuki's love language is definitely words of affirmation but like done in the right way (aka the deku way) and physical touch (and also acts of service but it really depends on the person and the day)

izukus is acts of service and quality time (literally, katsuki will just sit next to him on the couch and let him ramble and ramble about what ever is in his notebook or on his mind for hours and izuku gets so much joy and love from that one small action)

i will fight tooth and nail for this take but katsuki is NOT the space heater everyone thinks he is. he's got very warm hands because of his quirk but out of the pair of them, izuku is the hot box when they're sleeping.

even though one of katsuki's love languages is physical touch he doesn't like people touching him or being in his personal space. besides izuku, the only other person allowed in his personal space is surprisingly todoroki

Hi! Peter here!

It's just reactions but a little longer lol.

- Can I request a criminal minds team x single dad reader who’s younger than Spencer but has a kid and the team one day sees him asleep with his baby on his chest holding the sleeping baby protectively :3 -

To everyone on the team you were the baby, even to Spencer who is four years older than you.

So it was weird finding out that you had a kid.

Penelope, your best friend on the team came by to check on you when you weren't answering your phone and were late to work.

What she saw was the absolute cutest thing. You asleep on your couch with your baby on your chest, hand on his back to make sure he wouldn't fall.

Penelope immediately takes many many pictures as sends them all to the team.

There's immediately lots of confusion

Derek: Um who's baby is that?

Emily: Maybe he's babysitting?

But by the looks of your house it really seems like the baby lives there.

Penelope doesn't stay for long, so you can sleep but she will have some choice words with you when you get into work.

When you do come into work, completely unknowing of the fact that the teams now knows of your child. You're very confused when Penolope walks of to you angrily.

"How could you not tell me that you have the most beautiful little baby I've ever seen?! He needs to meet his auntie Penolope."

Emily and Derek are still questioning wheaten it's your baby or not.

"Are we sure it's his? I mean he's only 23 he could be babysitting for someone "

But no, you confirm that it is your baby. It's a shock but it confirms why you're always tired, even more so than everyone else on the team.

Being your boss, Hotch is the only one who knows about the Baby. So he isn't that surprised.

JJ likes to say that she had some suspicions, you had that new parent exhausted but happy look.

Spencer asks about the baby's mother, who you say is no longer in your life so you're raising the baby on your own.

Which makes Penolope even angrier because you've been doing this by yourself when you could've been asking for help.

Rossi offers to give you some money if you're in need of it but you decline.

Overall the team become more impressed with you and how you're able to handle the job with a young baby by yourself.

Rossi ends up hosting a dinner after your next case so they can meet your baby.

Immediately Penolope is all over him, you don't even get to be with him that long because the girls are bonding with him.

You don't mind though the rest is appreciated.

Derek and Spencer are still in a bit of denial and are kind of curious about the baby's mother. They don't ask about it though.

Hotch and Jj also end up giving you some parenting advice.