#spidermac

"jeez, you're pretty." behind him, an old woman loudly, rudely, borderline aggressively clears her throat. julian is not sure how long he's been standing at the front of the line for, but he's sure he noticed the girl behind the cash register like you'd notice a freight train: right smack in the face. "shit," he mutters, then squints his eyes up at the menu like he didn't already know what he wanted before he even walked in the door. "can i get, uhh, the mcdonaldland meal with the quarter pounder please?"

also why were they filming tiktoks in the middle of the night anyways? when did this become there new norm? you film one GRIMACE SHAKE video and suddenly everything changes. “ also it was your idea for the transition. i don’t know how this shit works! ”

“ — c’mon jane… it’s just some bruises. maybe a scratch or two. i totally had that guy! ” another wince as she wipes the alcohol onto the cut on his face. fuck this was EMBARRASSING. “ you don’t have to babysit me all the time. im a hero too y’know. did you see the papers this morning? ” there was some HALF—BAKED article about the new ‘ — DYNAMIC DUO. ’ whoever wrote it called him the ‘ spider guy. ’ and to be fair the name fit well. he’s rather proud of himself for making the news. too bad no one can know he’s the one in the mask.