Bug Like Angel
Spacing out
________
Potential.
You hated that word.
It meant possibility. It meant that you were almost good. almost great. almost perfect.
You've heard it from everyone.
You heard it from teachers at parent-teacher conferences.
"She's a good student. She has the potential to be great."
Maybe if you weren't such a smartass during class, you would be great. perfect, even.
It wasn't your fault; you already knew most of the things your classes would teach.
You would correct the teachers when they got something incorrect.
That got on their nerves.
You heard it from annoying boys at your middle school who would rate every girl on a number scale.
"She has potential, but she's a smartass and kind of off-putting… plus those rumors—"
How annoying. How were you offputting? You tried your hardest to interact with others correctly.
You watched others interact with each other and learned their mannerisms to fit in.
You would attempt to understand social cues you never understood growing up.
You heard it from your family growing up.
"She has the potential to be Robin. She's kind of weird, though."
How were you weird?
Even if you were, they never saw you be weird.
They were never around. You were never enough.
Growing up, you never truly saw yourself as equal to others.
You weren't good enough to be great. which is why you couldn't believe that your friends actually saw you as something other than potential.
Your spider-friends, that is.
You don't like to think about your old friends.
Your new friends could see right through the facade you put on frequently.
The one where you were a quiet, perfect girl who let everyone walk over her.
They didn't see you as what you could be, but as who you are.
You didn't have to burn yourself out trying to be something you couldn't be.
You could be yourself around them.
They were your safe space. which was why you were so annoyed at this moment.
You had to bring your family along with you to the spider society.
______
Earlier in the morning, you had gotten the message from Miguel.
The one warning about the spot.
You got up from your warm bed, the light from your window waking you up.
You yawned, fangs protruding.
You mentally made a plan on how to go about your day.
You tried to pretend you weren't scared over what you learned yesterday.
You went through your morning routine, ignoring the pit in your stomach.
You walked out of your room.
You spotted Jason (why was he even visiting?) in the living room.
You went to sit down to eat breakfast. You kept dozing off by accident.
You put your head down for a moment more, hoping to get more sleep, only to be awoken to the sound of a mug hitting the table.
You look up to see it was Alfred who had placed it.
You muttered a quick "thanks" and looked around.
You noticed how everyone was sitting together at the table, an unusual sight.
You quickly pull out your phone from under the table to see if it was a special occasion.
It was Sunday.
Years ago, Alfred suggested Sundays should be days where the family had at the very least one meal together.
You were never really invited or involved with these meals, so this was really your first or second one.
You let out a groan, quiet enough so no one can hear.
You look to your left and see Damian glaring at Tim across the table, who's next to Bruce.
On your right is an empty space, luckily for you.
You aren't cramped.
You took a sip of the coffee and let out a yawn, the coffee doing nothing to wake you up due to your boosted metabolism.
As you yawned, your fangs showed again, catching the attention of your family.
"Holy shit, you have fangs?" Jason asked, bewildered.
"Yeah," you said, clearly not wanting to talk anymore.
Dick spoke, "How long have you had them?"
"A while," you tapped your foot impatiently, wanting to get up and leave.
"Are you a meta?" Tim asked, clearly taking mental notes.
"I don't know. Maybe."
"B doesn't want metas in Gotham, you know," Dick said, about to ask if you wanted to stay in Bludhaven with him instead.
You spoke before he could, though. "That's fine. If he doesn't want me here, I could move back in with Miguel."
Bruce paused for a moment before speaking up. "That isn't needed."
Conversations continued amongst them. However, you got up before breakfast was even served.
You ignored their confusion and left for your room.
You got changed into your costume and left the manor through your window.
You went to secretly patrol, on the lookout for any suspicious spot activity.
You ended up finding spots scattered around where the jester would pop up the most, which you thought was strange. You took photos for evidence maybe you were a little afraid your friends wouldn't believe you). You know they always will, but deep down you feel that they will ignore you as your family once did.
You made your way to the manor, stopping by some stands to buy breakfast on the way.
You also attempted to think about this more clearly.
How was the spot connected to the joker?
Has he gone to other universes?
How has nobody noticed he left?
You pull out your phone to send a message to your friends.
__
Y/n: Meet at my universe, my room
y/n: ASAP no rocky
____
Maybe they have information you don't. You doubt it, though.
It was implied by the message you all got from Miguel earlier that up until yesterday no one knew he had escaped.
__
Once you made your way back to the manor, you sneaked into your room through the window.
As you stayed in your room and set up some snacks you had bought from a corner store nearby, you couldn't get your mind off the spotty situation.
You decided to not go into the main living spaces, knowing that if your family saw you, they'd know something was up.
They were all extremely observant of your body language and how you acted when you were feeling anxious.
You'd be surprised if they didn't know you were anxious this morning.
You knew that they'd immediately bug you for answers, and that was the last thing you needed.
Talking about bugs, the number of bugs they placed was insane.
You've always had a habit of excessively cleaning your room when you were bored (which was always), and you started noticing that some bugs were placed in your room.
You don't know how long they've been placed there.
What you do know is that you've gotten rid of them each time. Because of some tech Peni made you ages ago, you could spot recording devices.
You also got rid of the cameras that were suddenly placed near your window. You knew they were placed recently because ever since middle school, you've snuck out through the window.
The lack of cameras made it easy to leave.
You would go out for walks late at night alone.
It wasn't until you got bitten that you had a way to protect yourself.
Usually you'd just go out into the Gotham night with nothing but cheap earbuds and an old portable music player.
The worst they could do is attack you or kill you, but hey, you didn't have much to live for anyway.
You got mugged a couple times, but they could tell you had nothing valuable on you.
They didn't know you were also Bruce's daughter; lucky you.
Thank goodness he didn't flaunt you around like his sons.
Who knows what those criminals would've done to you?
You always spaced out. usually falling into a daydream.
You were always described as a girl with an imagination too big for her size, especially when you were younger.
You used to spend hours every day daydreaming.
Imagining yourself as a superhero, or as a magical girl, or as a self-insert OC you made.
It started off as something normal kids do. It started to get more and more concerning when others noticed how you'd space out for hours listening to music.
Usually at a blank wall, on walks, or while you are getting rides.
As soon as you heard yelling, you'd put in your earbuds and try to drown out the sounds of your family.
Of course, your family barely noticed.
When they did, they just played it off as you being weird.
It wasn't just about how you spaced out. Growing up, Alfred would "find" your drawings and write about them. He definitely didn't go snooping.
You stopped drawing or writing about them as you got older, out of fear someone would find them.
Most of the time, your art was innocent.
You meeting Superman, you becoming a superhero, hanging out with friends, inserting yourself into your favorite show, etc.
Years ago, you drew and wrote about a treehouse.
After a couple months of begging, Bruce grew more and more agitated until he hesitantly got one built.
He proceeded to forget about it and got it chopped a year later after Tim complained about it obscuring his view from his window.
"Jerk." Alfred could hear your voice complaining years later.
What really caught his attention is how a lot of them were about you getting adopted into different families.
Being Superman's daughter, being adopted by some teachers of yours, hell, you even wrote about replacing your siblings with friends you thought of as siblings.
He tried telling the others; however, he'd always be dismissed.
"She's just trying to get attention."
"She's not serious."
"Strange... anyways—"
All you could do was roll your eyes and walk away.
You spaced back once you heard someone come in through the window.
Well, not just someone. All of your spider gang (as Miles once called you all, and you teased him for being corny despite the warmth in your heart) started making their way through the window.
Miguel was absent, but that was expected from you anyway.
He was probably trying to locate the spot.
Same with Jess; she was most likely busy too.
You assume that Margo couldn't make it either.
It was a miracle Noir could make it. You felt a hand comfortingly meet your back.
"You alright, mate?" Hobie asked, face uncharacteristically concerned.
"You spaced out for a good minute or two," Peni added.
You took a look at Peni's face. She looked so tired.
Nothing like the angel you met years ago.
She had heavy eyebags, and her eyes were less relaxed.
However, she looked less miserable than she used to, a year or two ago.
You remember checking up on her semi-regularly and bringing her foods you baked and cooked after her canon events had taken a toll on her.
You remember her red, puffy eyes.
Her matted black hair, you brushed out and braided to prevent further matting.
Her messy bed—she refused to leave. How she kept insisting on pushing everyone away despite how you all wouldn't budge. You were so proud of her and how she seemed to be healing.
Of course, she has her moments, but you all do. As exhausted as she looked, you were glad she was healing from the events.
"Hello...? Earth to y/n?" Gwen questioned, trying to get you to stop spacing out.
"Oh, uh, sorry," you apologized, uncharacteristically quiet.
"y/n? Are you alright? You only really get like this when you're not feeling good," Pav asks, picking at his fingernails.
"Or when she's high," Miles adds, getting a light slap on his arm from Gwen.
"No, uh, sorry, this might be a dumb question." You looked down at your hands, feeling like a burden for even asking for your friends to come over.
Noir raises a finger into the air. "There's no such thing as a dumb question."
You took a deep breath and spoke. "Have you guys noticed anything in your universe that may be connected to the spot?"
The others gave you a look you couldn't decipher.
They knew how the spot was a sensitive topic for everyone.
Miles almost lost his parents.
Gwen almost lost miles.
You almost lost Miguel.
Peni cleared his throat a bit shyly. "I noticed some technology basically vanish from my earth. not sure if it could be connected, though."
You nodded, taking a mental note.
Pavitr cleared his throat. "Is this because of the message we got earlier?"
You quickly looked through your pockets in your pants, your friend's eyes suddenly widening at how many items you took out while trying to get the photos out.
"How does all that fit in your pockets?" Miles asked, puzzled.
"Hammerspace is a wonderful thing," Ham said, earning a chuckle from Peni.
After a good moment or two, you pulled out a bag full of photographs.
You blinked, and suddenly everyone got closer to you to see the photos and started passing them around amongst themselves.
"I noticed how there are more spots near places Joker was spotted." You said, "This might be a stretch, but I feel like they're both planning something."
You tried to ignore how your heart dropped every time you thought of either the Joker or the Spot. They both caused events in your life; you almost lost someone you loved.
You rarely ever hated anyone; however, they were both people whom you hated.
"Why don't you tell Miguel?" Miles asked, sitting on your bed.
"I don't want to make him more stressed out. You know how he gets when he's stressed."
"Angry?" Peni asks.
"A tightwad?" Noir spoke, playing around with a fidget toy that you got years ago.
Gwen scoffs, lacking any irritation. "Destructive?"
"A tosser," Hobie says, suddenly hanging off of a coat hanger.
"Violent?" Miles adds, pointing to a scar of his that hasn't faded.
"I was going to say cold, but that works too." You let out a slight chuckle.
You slump down on your bed. It's kind of dumb. I don't want to disappoint him."
"Booshwash," Noir said.
Gwen put her hand on your shoulder. "You won't. You're his favorite."
"It's like you're the one person who won't get in trouble," Pavitr said, putting the pictures that were left scattered around into a pile.
"I think the last time he was upset with you was when you got shot that one time," Miles said.
"Even then he wasn't even mad; he was just worried. Peni added.
"You guys are low-key right. I might tell him." You guys fell into more conversation, calming your nerves slightly.
After what felt like minutes (but was truly hours), it was getting dark out.
Collectively, you all looked toward the door as your spider senses went off.
You immediately prepared yourself in an offensive position, only to see Dick walk in.
"Hey, birdie, you skipped breakfast, and lunch passed already; we're getting worried—" He paused when he noticed the group of people in your room.
"You didn't eat breakfast or lunch?" Ham asks, concern tainting his voice. "I did; I got breakfast from a stand outside," you defended yourself.
"Well always," Dick continued, "are they allowed to be here?"
You shrugged, holding the case of markers Miles let you borrow.
Dick left shortly after, letting you enjoy yourself a bit longer.
He wanted to snitch to Bruce or Alfred and get your friends kicked out, but seeing you look so happy with your friends made him change his mind quickly.
As you and your friends continued to eat snacks and hang out, it got darker. "Hey guys," you say, putting away your pack of cookies, which is now empty. "I'm low-key still hungry."
"We should go to a restaurant!" Peni said, playing with some slime you guys made.
You guys all snuck out your window and went swinging around until you found a diner.
Unfortunately for you, while swinging, you all saw Batman and Robin.
Man, you were in so much trouble.
______
Once you guys came back to the manor, you knew it was only a matter of time before someone told your friends to leave.
And before you got grounded.
While you and your friends talked about some gossip going around in HQ, Alfred walked in.
Your eyes widened, and you internally started preparing yourself to be scolded.
"It's one in the morning. You all have to leave."
"One already?" you said, shocked time had gone by so fast.
One by one, your friends left, leaving you and Alfred alone.
You slowly turned around to look at him.
He cleared his throat. "Are you aware there will be a punishment for this, Mistress Y/N?"
"Yes, sir..."
He left the room, and you let out a sigh you didn't know you were holding.
You got ready for bed, but you remembered to call Miguel.
You hoped he would pick up.
Ring... ring… ring…
The longer he took to pick up, the stronger the urge you had to collapse into bed got. Just as you were about to, he picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hey, uhm, Dad, do you think I could come tomorrow to show you something I think might be related to Spot?"
"You don't even have to ask. But mija, please go to bed. It's two in the morning for you."
"Okay, goodnight, Dad."
"Goodnight."
As soon as he hung up, you fell asleep.
___
Once morning hit, you decided to eat breakfast and then immediately leave to tell Miguel about the information you had.
You headed downstairs to see everyone at the dinner table yet again.
Weird.
You quickly grabbed yourself a Pop-Tart and tried to leave.
"Where do you think you're going?" you heard Bruce say.
"Out," you responded, not bothering to turn around and look at him.
"To where?"
"Miguel."
"No, you're not; you're grounded."
"It's an emergency—"
"No, it's not; you're going to see your friends."
"I'm literally not—"
"Well, I don't believe you."
"Fine. Don't believe me then."
As soon as you opened a portal, Bruce stepped forward to grab your wrist.
"I'm coming with you."
"Fine. Just don't blame me if you get hurt.
Before you knew it, your whole family (besides Alfred, thankfully) had come with you.
In those ridiculous costumes.
You sighed as Dick raved about how big HQ was and how many spider people there were.
You ignored Tim's questions and Jason's complaining.
You never thought you'd say this, but you were grateful for how silent Bruce was.
You spaced back into your family, showing a familiar glitch.
You sighed and threw them the 24-hour bracelets.
"Here. They're day passes. Use them."
They put them on without resistance.
You started growing more irritated with their antics.
Luckily for you, you guys were right outside Miguel's office.
You entered, immediately swinging toward Miguel and ignoring his dramatic entrance.
"Dad, I'm here."
Before he could reply, you shoved the pictures into his hands.
Usually, he would lightly scold you.
However, looking at you, you looked unusually disheveled.
You both got down to a lower level and called Jess to come along.
The longer you looked at the pictures, the more anxious you got.
"I'm here," Jess said, getting closer to you both.
As you all discussed what this could mean, your family stood awkwardly apart from you.
Tim was the only one who didn't, choosing to investigate technology.
"I'm not waiting around." Damian started walking closer to you and the others, growing impatient.
The others made no effort to stop him, instead using this as an excuse to get closer to you yet again.
The closer they got to you, the more they could hear your conversation.
"I just don't understand what the Joker wants with him!" you said while picking at your nails anxiously.
"We need to stop him before he tries anything."
"How can we stop him if we don't know where he is?"
"I don't know."
You felt Dick grab you in a hug, which annoyed you even further.
"Let go of me!" you kicked harder and harder.
It wasn't until Bruce told him to let go that he did.
"I thought it'd make you feel better."
"Well, you thought wrong!" You relocated your dislocated shoulder and put it back into place.
"How are these bracelets made?" Tim asked both Miguel and you as you both ignored him.
You proceeded to try and block out everyone's noises.
Jess and Miguel are trying to pinpoint the spot.
Tim is asking questions.
Dick is trying to calm you down.
Jason and Bruce are arguing. Damian asking if you all could leave.
"Y/n," Miguel said. You looked at him, his face full of worry. "We think the spot is trying to team up with the Joker."
You could practically feel your heart beating out of your chest.
And you hated how due to Jess's and Miguel's super hearing, they could tell you were freaking out.
"Hey, hey, Mija—Pavitr was waiting for you in the training room with the others. How about you go join them?"
"I don't want to," the truth is, you did. You always did.
You didn't want your friends to worry about this.
Jess practically read your mind. "Yes, you do. Peni was on her way to get you some food."
Despite your reluctance, you got up and started making your way out the door. Before you were even halfway through the door, you realized you were being followed.
You paused, which caused the others to stop closely behind you.
You look back to see that most of your family has started following you, with the exception of Bruce, who, despite his stone-cold face and stupid mask, you could tell was dumbfounded.
"Can you guys—" Exasperated, you pushed the one closest to you, which happened to be Tim. "—leave me alone?!" By pushing Tim, you ended up pushing the others along with him.
Suddenly your siblings were on the floor, surprised at your strength.
You turned around, ready to swing away angrily and possibly leave the society and teleport to a random universe just to get away from everyone.
Before you could do anything but turn away, however, you felt a calloused hand firmly grab your wrist.
You turned around, expecting it to be Jason.
What you did not expect was for the hand to be Bruce's. He spoke up, his voice cold and uncomforting.
"You just demonstrated to everyone you cannot be trusted to be alone. Your behavior is unacceptable. Control yourself."
'Control yourself?'
'Control yourself?!'
You yanked away from his hold and stared at his eyes in a way that reminded Bruce of Dick when he was younger.
As he glared at you, you thought about how years ago, had you been in this exact position, you would've given in to Bruce's silent demand to calm down.
However, you weren't afraid anymore.
You pointed a finger at his chest. "How are you going to tell me what to do? You barge into my space and have the audacity to tell me what to do?"
"Your space?" Dick spoke up, amused.
"Yes, my space, the same space I took comfort in after you all had forgotten about me." The angrier you got, the louder your voice got. "You guys weren't even invited! Gosh, you're so inconsiderate—"
You felt a pair of gentle hands get yours out of your scalp, which you hadn't realized were pulling your hair.
You look up and see Miguel towering over you, a familiar gentle look on his face making you quiet down.
"Go to the training room."
You didn't argue against Miguel's words and made your way out, but not before stopping the others from coming with you. "Don't follow me."
Before any of them could object, Jess defended you. "You should walk by yourself anyway; take a break."
You smiled weakly at her and made your way out.
As you made your way out, you could hear Jess scolding someone, presumably your family.
You angrily huffed your way towards the training room, ignoring the concerned stares from others.
You passed by the medbay and the therapist's office and wished they had a better one you could talk to and finally made it to the training room.
You didn't bother to knock.
Gwen was sparring with Miles.
Pavitr was practicing his swinging using the gymnastics area.
Hobie was having a smoke break near a window.
They looked your way as you angrily ripped off your mask and threw it onto the ground.
You ignored your friends looking at you and went straight to the punching bags.
After around a minute or two, Pavitr came up to you.
"Hey, uh– y/n?" You heard the hesitation in his voice.
You let out an unusually irritated sigh. "What?"
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." He reached out to you. "Listen, don't be afraid to ask for help. –"
"I don't need your help." You punched the bag harder with every word.
"I don't need anyone's help. I'm fine on my own."
Before he could talk, you continued. "I don't need your help," you repeated. "I don't need anyone's help! And I certainly don't need help from Bruce or his stupid sons!"
You blew through the punching bag, leaving half of it still hanging and the other half on the floor.
"Are you sure? You just broke five punching bags in like 8 minutes—" Miles nervously added.
"I'm fine," you said through gritted teeth.
As you started storming off, you felt a hand hold your wrist.
Man, what's with you and people grabbing onto you?
You whipped your head around to see it was Gwen.
The others also started surrounding you, pissing you off even more.
As soon as you were going to pull away and leave, Gwen beat you to it and pulled you onto the ground and into a hug.
You started tearing up; you couldn't tell if it was from relief or frustration.
"I'm sorry for snapping, Pav. I've been so overwhelmed."
"I might forgive you if you bake me some of those cupcakes you made me a while ago," Pavitr playfully said.
You let out a wet chuckle yet stayed hugging Gwen. "You mean the ones I made Gayatri and you ate?"
"They were delicious and insisted I eat them; she was sick!"
You tried explaining your frustration, only to hiccup and stumble over your word vomit. You decided to stay quiet and try and calm down. You didn't explain what happened and why you had walked in so upset.
They understood anyway.
__________
It wasn't very hard for Damian to find you.
It was easy for anyone in your family to disappear from a crowd.
So it isn't very surprising Damian managed to escape Miguel's grasp.
The problem was finding you in an unfamiliar place full of unfamiliar faces.
He went around walking, ignoring how people looked at him like he didn't belong. It looked like how he looked at you years ago.
As he went looking for you, he saw a familiar shade of raven hair.
Peni.
He made his way toward her, ignoring the people in his way.
Sensing him, Peni turned around.
"Parker," Damian said.
"Oh, hey, Damian," Peni said casually before looking up again in surprise.
"Wait, Damian? Why are you here?" Peni said, continuing to walk.
"I'm looking for my sister." Damian started walking alongside Peni.
"Oh, come with me. I'm on my way to get her some food, actually," Peni said, holding a white takeout bag.
"Hn," Damian acknowledged.
"But why are you in headquarters right now?" She held his wrist and lifted it up slightly, showing his day pass. "How did you even get a day pass?"
Damian quickly pulled his wrist away. "None of your business, Parker."
"Whatever," Peni said, standing outside a large door. "We're here."
Damian masked his confusion and watched as Peni entered a room. Damian followed behind, looking at the room.
The room looked a lot more comfortable than the one at the manor.
It also had a lot more resources somehow.
It had a gymnastics area like the one Dick used.
"Hey, Y/n! I've got your food!" Peni yelled out toward you.
You were sparring with your friends. Sweet, thanks, Peni! Come up with us!" you called to her.
"Can't. Don't have my robot," Peni said, disappointed.
Before she could think, you swooped her up with you and swung with both Damian and Peni with the others.
"Who's this little guy?" Gwen said, pointing to Damian.
"Oh, I don't think Damian has met you guys. Damian's my little brother."
Damian noticed how you no longer had any hesitation in your tone.
As your friends all got to know Damian, you and Pavitr continued practicing gymnastics.
It was mostly you two fooling around.
It surprised you when you saw the rest of your family walk in.
"Birdie!" You let out a groan when you heard Dick.
You swung down to them, your annoyance apparent on your face.
"Why are you here?" you asked, crossing your arms.
"I didn't know you did gymnastics!" He held both your shoulders, ignoring your question.
"You didn't answer my question."
"Can't we visit our baby sister?" You let out a gag at his words, which made his smile falter slightly.
You turned around to see your family interacting with your friends.
Hobie and Jason were being amicable. You knew that if you hadn't told Hobie about your home life, they would've gotten along great.
Tim was trying to talk to Gwen and Miles.
Damian stayed around Peni, who was still being stuck on a high-up balance beam.
Bruce was standing near the door menacingly.
Before you could tell them all to leave, you and your friends got a live message from Miguel.
"Come to my office. It's urgent."
fuuuccckkk.
As you all started rushing out, Peni's voice called out.
"Hello? "A little help here?"
"Sorry, Peni!" You quickly scooped both her and Damian up and left.
____
this took too long happy ficaversaryi dont have much of an excuse for not posting besides life and i coyldve died oops
anyqays my phone is going to die no charger
