I started listening to Chopinās Prelude in E minor and well, things just went from there. A little drabble for you guys.
Hands shake, grab at memories in a desperate attempt to keep him here. āPlease, please donāt leave me.ā
Ragged breath fills the room, harsh sobs and the faint drip of tears hitting the grass create a symphony of unsaid things, an ocean of āI wishā and āI should have done better.ā It is never enough. Why can it never be enough? Knees hit the floor, sobs holding agony and cradling a world of regret as his name is wailed, despondent and aching. āGeoff- Geoff please I donāt want to- I canāt-ā
Lips, soft and damp with tears press against his forehead, trembling in fear and leaving a thousand goodbyes upon his lips, but none being said. Michael looks up, sees the face of a thousand good memories in one sad smile, and he reaches out, arms shaking with the effort of his grievance. Sees the same shirt and tattered jeans heās seen everyday, carved into his memory like a blue mosaic.Ā āCāmon Mikey, chin up. Itāll be okay.ā
āNo, please donāt say that, I canāt do this without you.ā A plea, hopeless and raw, and one that Michael has said a thousand times. A thousand and one, fallen from his lips in a desperate attempt to keep him here. To bring him back. āGeoff I donāt want to take over- I canāt, who will I look up to- who will tell them, guide them? I canāt be that for them.ā
āDonāt say that kid, youāll do just fine. After all, you learned after the best, didnāt you?ā Michael chokes on a sob, leans into time worn hands that wipe away his tears, and he shakes his head.
āI canāt, please donāt go. I donāt want you to go. I canāt.ā Michael whispers, broken and alone.
āDonāt worry Michael, if you need me, just look up.ā
āYou wonāt be here, how am I supposed to look up when I need you? I look up now and all I see is the heavens, silent and waiting. Am I supposed to go up there, Geoff?ā
āNo, no Michael, you stay right here on the ground. You have people depending on you.ā
āBut you do too, how come you get to leave them?ā Michaelās voice cracks, and he finds the strength within himself to stand, shoulders slumped with the weight of Geoffās absence. āWhy did you get to leave me?ā
Michael slumps forward, forehead pressing against cool granite, chasing away the heat of a sunny day. Michael gets no answer from the solitary stone. He hasnāt gotten one for months now, and he suspects that he wonāt get one. Michael looks up to the heavens, and reaches up, eyes closing and breaths slowing. āIām coming for you, Geoff. I canāt do this alone. I want to love you, but I donāt know how anymore.ā