#sperril

At six o'clock on a Friday, one evening in January, Merril had the brilliant idea to teach Spencer how to bake.

"It's too thick, honey," she laughed as she watched Spencer roll dough for the babka she taught him to make. "The dough needs to be thinner!"

"Oh, it needs to be thinner?" Spencer mocked her, kissing her head. "Chef Merril said it needs to be thinner?"

She just laughed some more, opening the Nutella jar while Spencer rolled the dough some more, and then went to get the bread baking tin and prep it with baking paper. She couldn't fault him, it was his first time baking this after all, and maybe she went with a bit of a complicated recipe… but he didn't seem to mind.

"Thin enough now?" Spencer moved aside to show her the dough, and with a check, Merril nodded.

"Shape it into a rectangle, I'll get the spatulas."

"Get me a knife, then?"

"...Spencer, shape the dough into a rectangle. Don't cut it."

"I was joking, honey."

Merril showed Spencer what to do as the two of them went, helping him spread the Nutella and showing him how to roll the dough, and once the dough was cut in two and twisted around itself and put aside to proof, she set a timer and covered the tins with a towel.

"Now we let them rise, and then we're going to—"

Then the power went out.

"It's all good!" Merril swore up and down, trying to seem calm but obviously not. "We can just… put it in the fridge for now, it'll be fine…"

"The fridge is also gone, baby."

"I know!" She froze then. "I'm sorry, I just… I don't know what's coming over me, I…"

"It's all okay. Merril, it's all good… what's the worst that could happen?"

"It won't be a cake, it'll just… it'll be a brick of baked dough, and we won't be able to eat it, and—"

"And if that happens, we'll make it again. It's not like it's a life or death situation…"

It wasn't until Merril tackled him in a hug, crying into his chest, that Spencer realized what's happening.

"Baby, do you want me to check if any other house has a blackout too?" She nodded. "So I need my hands…"

"Okay…"

She kept hugging him, but now under his arms, so he could use his phone. And hope for the best...

———

"...even the main building's blacked out," he told her after a few phone calls. "According to Justin."

Merril, who up until now has only been crying quietly, started sobbing right there. Spencer has never seen her like this, and it's not like it was her fault, she just…

"Baby, can you breathe…?"

Merril nodded, then shook her head no after a second.

"Does it feel like you're having a panic attack? Have you had a panic attack before?"

She shook her head again.

"Okay… do you want me to carry you to the couch? You need water, and—"

She just nodded and tried to hug him tighter, so he picked her up to the couch in the common room, going to get a cup of water right afterwards. Meanwhile, Merril pulled over a stray blanket, trying to hide away from the world.

"Hey, Merril. Look at me." He pulled back the blanket, just to see her all curled up within herself. "Is it the cake, or the dark?" When she didn't react, he tried again. "Take my hand, squeeze once for cake and twice for dark."

She took his hand and squeezed twice. Oh dear.

"Do you want me to turn on the phone flashlight or get candles? Once for flashlight, two for candles."

One squeeze.

"Okay…" He turned on his phone, putting it close to her so she could see the light. "Hey… hey, can you breathe with me? Merril, breathe with me."

She nodded, so he took her hand, watching her do her best. "In, two, three, four, out, two, three, four… in, two, three, four…"

"Spencer," she mumbled after a few minutes, sounding quite weak. "I…"

"Shh, love, it's okay. Hey…" He squeezed her hand back, offering the cup of water with his free hand. "Drink this, and then, can you name five things you can see?"

"I…" she drank the water in one chug, only stopping when Spencer asked her to. "Y… you, and your phone… Sydney sent you a message…"

"I'll answer later. Three more things."

"Umm… the tree outside the window… the playstation over there, umm… and, the, the stairs."

"Good, love, you're doing great. Now, can you tell me four things you can hear?" Merril shook her head. "Come on, I have faith in you."

"Your voice, the… the rain… Umm, I can… I can hear some people outside…"

"One more. You're doing amazing."

"I… I c— someone is singing upstairs…"

"Good. You're amazing, love. Now, three things you can feel."

"Your, your hand, and the blanket… and the couch…"

"Great job. Now, can you tell me two things you can smell?"

"Rain, and… and yeast."

"One last thing, one thing you can taste?"

"Nutella…"

"There we go." Spencer pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back a bit. "How do you feel?"

"Still… still bad…"

"But better?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I'm proud of you."

She just sniffed, letting him hug her more.

———

The blackout lasted about an hour, during which the two of them just rolled a new D&D character and played Uno until Spencer's phone died. And when it was over, Merril calmed down, went to wash her face, and then checked the oven to see if she can still bake.

"I'm so sorry…"

"Love, you did nothing wrong. It's not your fault at all."

"So where's that cake?" Danny asked as he came downstairs for a cup of coffee, half an hour after the power came back on.

"You'll have to wait for it a bit, dude," Spencer told him, watching Merril pull them out of the oven. "We had an… accident."

"The blackout? Wes said the twins caused it." Merril almost dropped one of the tins. "To prank Dwight or something."

"Well, you can tell them they're not getting any cake now!"

Merril Portman’s life is a simple one and she is very okay with that, thank you very much. She has her friends, her job, and her aunt and uncle. She doesn’t need anything more and she is content.

And then Spencer Willis walks into Hanover Brews and just has to mess that all up.

Spencer is attractive, attentive, and always incredibly kind. He walks in one day, orders a cappuccino, and promptly opens a sketchbook when he sits at the table by the window. Once Merril recovers from this handsome man strolling into the cafe, Danny makes her call out the drink and thus have another interaction with him. He’s kind and smiles at her, but it takes a few visits for Merril to coax his name out of him.

That was about three months ago. Not that Merril’s keeping track. They just don’t gain new regulars very often at Hanover Brews, so it’s hard not to notice when someone keeps coming back.

Especially when he seems to always come in when Merril is working. Danny makes note of it, the next time Spencer comes in, mentions the blush Merril seems to always get when Spencer approaches the counter

“Oh hush Danny, he’s just kind is all. Nothing else going on for you to be talking like that,” she says, turning towards the register.

“Bullshit there’s nothing going on! Not with the way you’re always smiling and sneaking glances at him,” Danny notes, “and definitely not the fact that he only comes in while you’re working.”

“Danny!” Merril swats his arm, “That’s just a coincidence!”

Spencer nears the counter at that point and Merril turns away from Danny to face him, smile already spreading. “Hi Spencer, what can I get you today?”

“Just a coffee and a slice of cake please,” Spencer says. “Surprise me on the flavor, I’m curious to see what you’ve whipped up today,” he winks at her as he pulls out a card to pay for his food and moves towards the end of the counter where Danny’s already started on his drink.

Merril rolls her eyes before surveying the pastry case and cutting a slice of cake for Spencer. “Today’s special - carrot cake, from my aunt’s recipe. Need to make sure you boys get your veggies some way,”she teases as she passes the plate to Spencer. He laughs and smiles at her, one of those smiles that makes your breath hitch, before heading to his usual table by the window.

Danny just looks at Merril and smiles knowingly, “Nothing going on there huh?”

“Oh hush now,” she replies, turning back to the register. “It’s a good recipe and he’s a growing young man.” Danny snorts at that and Merril feels her cheeks heat up. Spencer was only being kind when he complimented her food or smiled at her. He was a good man, there was nothing more going on.

And so the song and dance of Spencer ordering one of Merril’s pastries with his cappuccino continues.

Merril keeps insisting that Spencer is just being kind, and it’s a nice break from some of the jerks they deal with at the cafe. Hazard of being located close to the local college campus. A large portion of their customers are tired and harried students looking for their next caffeine fix and a decent place to study. Hanover Brews can provide that, but Merril wonders if all the business from the students is worth the hassle.

Spencer makes up for it though. The way he always musters a smile for her and makes sure to try something from the pastry case. It’s endearing and if their interactions consisted of more than the usual pleasantries and small talk as he ordered at the counter, Merril might be inclined to say there’s something more there. But alas, Spencer is just being a good person.

December hits and with it, business grows as people escape from the cold and students need a place to study and write final papers. Spencer comes in even more frequently and camps out as his table by the window, sketchbook open and art supplies spread out. Merril would love to check on him, make sure that the harried look on his face has to do with finals and nothing else, but the boom in business keeps her busy. Between taking orders at the counter and keeping the sitting area clean, she has hardly any time to talk to any customers, let alone strike up a lengthy conversation with Spencer.

And then he stops coming to the cafe. He’s probably home for the holidays, Merril reminds herself. The semester is finished and business has dropped off since students vacated the town for winter break. There's nothing to worry about.

Except that Spencer never said goodbye.

Most of the regulars leave a note or say something when they go out of town. But Spencer just disappeared.

“He was probably in a hurry Merril,” Danny reminds her, “most students finish their finals and get the hell out of here so they can get started on relaxing away from here.”

“I know, I know,” Merril nodded, “I’m just worried is all.”

With Spencer presumably back home, Merril decides that she needs a distraction. She spends time in the kitchen working on new pastries and perfecting old recipes. She bakes so much over the next three week that Danny brings things home so they wouldn’t go bad. She makes little packages of treats for the regulars who are still in town as holiday presents and donates the rest to the local food pantry. Danny says she stress baking. Merril claims she's experimenting and expanding the menu. Danny just arches an eyebrow at her before leaving the kitchen.

A few days after New Years, Merril is putting some new items into the pastry case when the door opens letting in a gust of cold air. She looks up and sees Spencer standing in the doorway, smiling at her with a bag over his shoulder.

“Spencer! Hi there!” she greets him, knocking him out of his trance. He walks towards the counter and gives Merril a smile, smaller than his usual ones. “Were your holidays okay?”

“Oh, uh yeah they were fine. Always fun to go home and have my dad question everything about my life choices. Pursuing a masters in art wasn’t exactly his plan for me,” Spencer replies with a shrug. “I’m happy to be back here though. Got some of my best work done last semester thanks to this place.”

Merril blushes, though she’s not sure why. She’s not the reason he got the work done, just the cafe. Which makes sense, given it’s atmosphere and the view Spencer gets from his usual window table. Danny’s playlists and that view must be great creative inspiration. “Well,” she says tucking her hair behind her ear, “I’m glad to hear that and glad that you’re back. What can I get for you to celebrate your return?” She just barely stops herself from saying she missed him. It’s a close call.

“Uh, cappuccino and whatever new creation you whipped up over the break,” Spencer says, pulling out his wallet. “Did you guys slow down after finals? I know it was crazy here right before I left.”

Merril nods, “Yeah we did. Once campus let out, we got slow. A few regulars live here full time or aren’t associated with the university but most everyone travels for the holidays. They stopped by before leaving though and should be trickling in soon.”

Spencer blushes and looks at his feet. Merril frowns slightly, he looks almost ashamed of himself. “I meant to say something to you before I left but, well Dad insisted I come home right after my last final and you were off that day and I don’t know where else to find you so I just left, and-”

“You know my schedule?” Merril interrupts. It really shouldn’t be that surprising. Danny’s mentioned it a hundred times that he only ever sees Spencer when Merril is working. But to hear it from Spencer, that he wanted to see her and knows when to find her behind the counter...it feels significant.

Except his blush has deepend and yup, he definitely looks ashamed now. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to come off as creepy but yeah I know your schedule. Which definitely sounds creepy and like a stalker. I just, you’re like a breath of fresh air Merril. The coffee here is great and the food even better but Merril, it’s you who makes this place,” Spencer confesses.

And now Merril’s cheeks are flaming and she’s trying to keep her head up and meet his eyes but she catches herself looking at the counter instead. “Oh Spencer, that’s a lovely thing to say-”

“But you don’t feel that way about me.”

“What do you mean?” she asks, eyebrows knitting together.

Spencer sighs, taking off his beanie so he can run a hand through his hair. “You don’t like me as more than a friend, well acquaintance really. And why would you. You hardly know me. I’m a regular at your coffee shop and we barely talk outside me ordering and you telling me what the pastry special is,” Spencer rambles.

Merril’s shocked and it must show on her face because Spencer is looking down again and mumbling an apology and she has to rush to stop him before he walks out the door, “No, no Spencer it’s okay I promise. I, uh, was convinced you were just being kind to me because you’re a customer and didn’t let myself think any different. I think you’re pretty great and would love to get to know you better,” she admits, still blushing.

“Really? That’s great!” Spencer says, flashing her a smile that makes her melt a little. “Do you want to grab some coffee and come sit with me?”

“I think that sounds fantastic.”

She makes his cappuccino and gets herself a latte before making a plate of pastries to bring over to the table by the window. They sit there and talk for a few hours, occasionally being interrupted by a customer coming in or Merril needing to take care of something.