#speedhacks

News from Hell today: The Dark Lord Satan has decreed that there is now a new bottom of Hell! The ninth ring of the underworld, which many know as the frozen hole for betrayers of trust, has been hollowed in its center for a new, more specialized type of sinner. Video game hackers.

When asked about this, Satan replied, "Have you ever been in a game where, you're just trying to have fun and shit, and then some guy swoops in and acts like a bit tough guy while he shoots people through walls, takes the flag and runs across the map with it in two seconds, and oneshots everyone while he does it? Yeah, if you have, you know why I did this. And, heh, I tell ya, I'm liking the new punishment for them."

Satan has hollowed out this area for his latrine, and upon demonstration of the new bottom of Hell, gleefully defecated upon the heads of 4200 hackers from across the globe. The stench was nightmarish.

The hackers themselves were quoted as declaring that Satan was "a butthurt faggot."