How to have a Positive Outcome when your Child Demands “No!”
1. Stop arguing – Arguing with your child is like trying to nail Jell-O® to the wall. It can’t be done, and neither can “winning” the argument.
2. Let go of control – Give two, and only two choices. Asking, “Do you want to wear the white shirt or the blue shirt?” puts your child in the driver’s seat and gives the illusion of control. When the child feels in control, they are less likely to say “No!”
3. Stay calm – As hard as it may be, not reacting can be a powerful tool when attempting to diffuse a temper tantrum. For example, if your child demands cereal for breakfast and promptly throws the cereal on the floor, calmly acknowledge that he/she did not want the cereal.
4. Feeling important can go a long way in preventing a tantrum. If the goal is to leave the house, asking your child to help find his/her shoes or toy to bring along can provide a sense of independence and pride.
5. Ignoring with purpose – As simple as it sounds, ignoring the negative behavior and praising the positive behavior communicates what is expected. Look for opportunities to tell your toddler you like what they are doing or how they are behaving.
6. Get silly – Dancing, breaking into song, or putting on a silly act can distract your child long enough to accomplish what it is that needs accomplishing. A laughing child is much more likely to get in the car to go to the store than a toddler in the middle of an argument.
7. Know when to say “yes” – Enforcing big rules and refusing to accept dangerous behavior should be consistent day in and day out, no matter how loudly your child protests. If your child’s “no” is in response to something insignificant such as refusing to wear regular shoes and opting for rain boots on a sunny day, what harm is there in letting the “no” prevail?
