#special requests

"May I?"

Fanny handed me the locket and I turned to hold it close to the candle. The woman inside had dark, softly curly hair like Fanny's — and I thought I could make out a resemblance to Jane in the nose and set of the chin, though it wasn't a particularly skillful rendering.

Behind me, I heard Jamie say, quite casually, "Frances, no man will ever take ye against your will, while I live."

There was a startled silence, and I turned round to see Fanny staring up at him. He touched her hand, very gently.

"D'ye believe me, Frances?" he said quietly.

"Yes," she whispered, after a long moment, and all the tension left her body in a sigh like the east wind.

Jemmy leaned against me, head pressing my elbow, and I realized that I was just standing there, my eyes full of tears. I blotted them hastily on my sleeve and pressed the locket closed. Or tried to; it slipped in my fingers and I saw that there was a name inscribed inside it, opposite the miniature.

Faith, it said.

…

Faith. Our mother, Fanny had said. I'd looked more than once at the miniature in the locket — but it was too small to show anything more than a young woman with dark hair, maybe naturally curly, maybe curled and dressed in the fashion of the times.

No. It can't be. I rolled over for the dozenth time, settling on my stomach and burying my face in the pillow, in hopes of losing myself in the scent of clean linen and goose down.

"It can't be what, Sassenach?" Jamie's voice spoke in my ear, sleepily resigned. “And if it can't, can it not wait 'til dawn?"

I rolled onto my side in a rustle of bedding, facing him.

"I'm sorry," I said, and touched him apologetically. His hand took mine automatically, warm and firm. "I didn't realize I'd said it out loud. I was... just thinking about Fanny's locket."

Faith.

"Ach," he said, and stretched himself a little, groaning. "Ye mean the name. Faith?"

"Well... yes. I mean — it can't possibly... have anything to do with—”

"It's no an uncommon name, Sassenach." His thumb rubbed gently over my knuckles. "Of course ye'd... feel it. I did, too."

"Did you?" I said softly. I cleared my throat a little. "I — I don't really do it anymore, but for a time, just—just every now and then — I'd think of her, of our Faith — out of nowhere. I'd imagine I could feel her near me."

"Imagine what she might look like — grown?" His voice was soft, too. "I did that, sometimes. In prison, mostly; too much time to think, in the nights. Alone."

I made a small sound and hitched closer, laying my head in the curve of his shoulder, and his arm came round me. We lay still, silent, listening to the night and the house around us. Full of our family— but with one small angel hovering in the calm sweet air, peaceful as rising smoke.

"The locket," I said at last. "It can't possibly have anything whatever to do with—”

"No, it can't," he said, a cautious note in his voice. "But what are ye thinking, Sassenach? Because ye're no thinking what ye just said, and I ken that fine."

That was true, and a spasm of guilt at being found out tightened my body.

"It can't be," I said, and swallowed. "It's only…” My words died away and his hand rubbed between my shoulder blades.

"Well, ye'd best tell me, Sassenach," he said. "Nay matter how foolish it is, neither one of us will sleep until ye do."

"Well... you know what Roger told me, about the doctor he met in the Highlands, and the blue light?"

"I do. What…"

"Roger asked me if I'd ever seen blue light like that — when I was healing people."

The hand on my back stilled.

"Have ye?" He sounded guarded, though I didn't know whether he was afraid of finding out something he didn't want to know, or just finding out that I was losing my mind.

"No," I said. "Or not — well, no. But... I have seen it. Felt it. Twice. Just a flash, when Malva's baby died." Died in my hands, covered with his mother's blood. “But when Faith was born, when I was so ill. I was dying — really dying, I felt it — and Master Raymond came."

"Ye told me that much," he said. "Is there more?"

"I don't know," I said honestly. "But this is what I thought happened." And I told him, about seeing my bones glow blue through the flesh of my arms, the feeling of the light spreading through my body and the infection dying, leaving me limp, but whole and healing.

"So... um... I know this is nothing but pure fantasy, the sort of thing you think in the middle of the night when you can't sleep..."

He made a low noise, indicating that I should stop apologizing and get on with it. So I took a deep breath and did, whispering the words into his chest.

"Master Raymond was there. What if — if he found... Faith... and was able to... somehow bring her… back?"

Dead silence. I swallowed and went on.

"People… aren't always dead, even though it looks like it. Look at old Mrs. Wilson! Every doctor knows — or has heard — about people who've been declared dead and wake up later in the morgue."

"Or in a coffin." He sounded grim, and a shudder went over me. "Aye, I've heard stories like that. But — a wee babe and one born too soon — how…”

"I don't know how!" I burst out. "I said it's complete fantasy, it can't be true! But — but —" My throat thickened and my voice squeaked.

"But ye wish it were?" His hand cupped the back of my head and his voice was quiet again. "Aye. But... if it was, mo chridhe, why would he not have told ye? Ye saw him again, no? After he'd healed ye, I mean."

"Yes." I shuddered, momentarily feeling the King of France's Star Chamber close around me, the smell of the King's perfume, of dragon's blood and wine in the air — and two men before me, awaiting my sentence of death.

"Yes, I know. But — when the Comte died, Raymond was banished, and they took him away. He couldn't have told me then, and he might not have been able to come back before we left Paris."

It sounded insane, even to me. But I could — just — see it: Master Raymond, stealing out of L'Hôpital des Anges after leaving me, perhaps ducking aside to avoid notice, hiding in the place where the nuns had, perhaps, laid Faith on a shelf, wrapped in her swaddling clothes.

He would have known her, as he'd known me...

Everyone has a color about them, he said simply. All around them, like a cloud. Yours is blue, madonna. Like the Virgin's cloak. Like my own.

One of his. The thought came out of nowhere, and I stiffened.

"Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ." What if — all right, I was insane, but too late for that to make a difference.

"What if he — if I, we — what if Master Raymond is — was — somehow related to me?"

Jamie said nothing, but I felt his hand move, under my hair. His middle finger folded down and the outer ones stood up straight, making the sign of the horns, against evil.

"And what if he's not?" he said dryly. He rolled me off him and turned toward me so we were face-to-face. The darkness was slowly fading and I could see his face, drawn with tiredness, touched with sorrow and tenderness, but still determined.

"Even if everything ye've made yourself think was somehow true — and it's not, Sassenach; ye ken it's not — but if it were somehow true, it wouldna make any difference. The woman in Frances's locket is dead now, and so is our Faith."

His words touched the raw place in my heart, and I nodded, tears welling.

"I know," I whispered.

"I know, too," he whispered, and held me while I wept.

— Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone, Chapter 24, Alarms By Night

"Ian — I wanted to ask you a favor." One eyebrow went up.

"Name it, Auntie."

"Well... Jamie said that you plan to stop in Philadelphia. I wondered.." I felt myself blushing, much to my annoyance. His other eyebrow rose.

"Whatever it is, Auntie, I'll do it," he said, one side of his mouth curling. "I promise."

"Well... I, um, want you to go to a brothel."

The eyebrows came down and he stared hard at me, obviously thinking he hadn't heard aright.

"A brothel," I repeated, somewhat louder. "In Elfreth's Alley."

He stood motionless for a moment, then turned and put the cheese back on the shelf, and glanced down at the clear brown water of the creek rushing past our feet.

"This might take a bit of time to explain, aye? Let's go out into the sun."

— Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone, Chapter 59, Special Requests

IAN CAME BACK from his visit to Elfreth's Alley in something of a brown study, oblivious to the shouts of dairymaids and beer sellers.

He'd thought he might have to expend considerable time and money in order to get the inhabitants of the brothel to talk, but the mere mention of Jane Pocock's name had opened floodgates of gossip, and he felt as one might after being washed overboard from a ship and carried ashore in a flurry of foam and sharp deb-ris.

Now he wished he had paid more attention to Fanny's drawing of her sister.

The loudly stated opinion of Mrs. Abbott, the madam, was that Jane Pocock had been strange, plainly very strange, demented and probably a practitioner of Strange Arts, and how it was that neither she nor any of her girls had been murdered in their beds, she did not know. Ian wondered why a young woman with such skills would have been working as a whore, but didn't say so, under the circumstances.

It took some time for the talk about the murder of Captain Harkness to die down, but Ian Murray did ken his way around a brothel, and when the flow diminished, he at once ordered two more extortionately priced bottles of champagne.

This altered the air of accommodation to something more focused but less vituperative, and within half an hour, Mrs. Abbott had retreated to her sanctum and the whores had reached their own silent accommodation amongst themselves. He found himself on the red velvet sofa common to such establishments, with Meg on one side and Trixabella on the other.

"Trix was friends with Arabella — Jane, I mean," Meg explained. Trix nodded, doleful.

"Wish I hadn't been," she said. "That girl hadn't any luck at all, and that kind of thing can brush off on you, you know. What are those things on your face?"

"Can it?" lan touched his cheekbone. “It's a Mohawk tattoo."

"Ooh," said Trix, with slightly more interest. "Was you captured by Indians?" She giggled at the thought.

"Nay, I went of my own accord," he said equably.

"Well, me too," Trix said, with an uptilted chin and a wave of the hand presumably meant to draw his attention to the relatively luxurious nature of her place of employment. "Not Arabella, though. Mrs. Abbott got her and her sister off a sea captain what didn't have the scratch to pay his bill. Those girls were indentures."

"Aye? And how long ago was that? Ye canna have been here more than a year or two yourself." In fact, she looked to have been in the trade for a decade, at least, but minor gallantries were part of the expected pourparlers, and she laughed and batted her eyes at him in a practiced manner.

"Reckon it would have been six — maybe seven — years ago. Time flies when you're havin' fun, or so they say."

"Tempus fugit." Ian filled her glass and clinked his against it, smiling. She dimpled professionally, drank, and went on.

"Mind, I wasn't but two years older than Jane..." Bat-bat. "Mrs. Abbott wouldn't've bothered with them, save they were pretty, both of 'em, and Jane was just about old enough to... um... start."

Ian was counting back; six years ago, Jane would have been about the age Fanny was now. Old enough...

After a few accounts of harrowing initial experiences in the trade, he managed to drag the conversation back to Jane and Fanny.

"Ye said a sea captain sold the girls to Mrs. Abbott. Do either of ye by chance recall his name?"

Meg shook her head.

“I wasn't here," she said. "Trix...?" She lifted a brow at her friend, who frowned a little and pressed her lips together.

"Has he come back here — since?" Ian asked, watching her closely. She looked startled.

"I — well... yes. I only saw him twice, mind, and it's been a long while, so I maybe don't recall his name for sure."

Ian sighed, gave her a direct look, and handed her a golden guinea.

"Vaskwez"" she said without hesitation. "Sebastian Vaskwez."

"Vas — was he a Spaniard?" lan asked, his mind having smoothly transmuted her rendering to "Sebastiàn Vasquez."

"I don't know," Trix said frankly. "I've never had a Spaniard — knowin'-like, I mean-wouldn't know what they sound like."

"They all sound the same in bed," Meg said, giving Ian an eye. Trix gave her friend a withering look.

"He sounded foreign-like, no doubt about that. And no talking through his nose or that gwaw-gwaw sort of thing Frenchies do. I've had three Frenchmen," she explained to Ian, with a small showing of pride. "Was a few of'em in Philadelphia while the British army was here."

"When was the last time Vasquez came here?" he asked.

"Two... no, maybe close to three years ago."

"Did he go with Jane then?" Ian asked.

"No," Trix said unexpectedly. "He went with me." She made a face. "He stank of gunpowder — like an artilleryman. He wasn't one, though; they've all got it ground into their skin and their hands are black with it, but he was clean, though he smelled like a fired pistol."

A thought occurred to Ian — though thinking was becoming difficult. He wasn't bothered by the fact that his body was taking strong notice of the girls, but arousal seldom did much for the mental faculties.

"Could ye tell if he was still a sea captain?" he asked. Both girls looked blank.

"I mean — did he mention his ship, or maybe say he was taking on crew, anything like that? Did he smell of the sea, or — or —fish?"

That made them both laugh.

"No, just gunpowder," Trix said, recovering.

"Mother Abbott called him 'Captain, though," Trix added. "And 'twas clear enough he weren't a soldier."

A few more questions emptied both bottles, and it was clear that the girls had told him all they knew, little as it was. At least he had a name. There were sounds in the house, opening doors, heavy footsteps, men's voices and women's greetings; it was just past teatime and the cullies were beginning to come in.

He rose, arranged himself without shame, and bowed to them, thanking them for their kind assistance.

— Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone, Chapter 80, A Word For That

From “the author”

“They actually did get the (general) idea from me, though,” she admits. “When chatting with [showrunner] Matt [Roberts] about All Things plot wise, I mentioned that if I had written a second graphic novel (I didn't, for assorted reasons), I would have shown what actually happened after Faith's presumed death at the Hopital des Anges, and how/why Master Raymond resuscitated and nurtured the baby secretly, but wasn't able to come back with her before Claire and Jamie left France. So, they liked that idea and ran with it.” — Diana Gabaldon, Parade

Remember… Claire is only one of more than a dozen time-travellers in the story… Brianna was conceived in 1746 and born in 1948… Family Beardsley is a threesome… it’s Outlander, anything can happen.

The young man was named Benjamin Thomas Barnes but Ben Barnes in short. Catchy right? (It even made the woman blush just thinking about it) And our young fair maiden who would soon be the object of Ben’s affections was none other than (Name) (Middle name) (Surname). Ben had thought to himself of what a sweet name she had…beautiful, actually. The two first met on the set of ‘The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian’. (Name) was an aspiring actress and had landed the role of Selene, sorceress, and protector of Narnia. The two instantly connected and were a great support to one another.

They immediately became fast friends and were happy to share some interests and acting tips through their experiences. Ben was always happy to share with (Name) their love of literature, the classics, art, music, poetry, and so much more.

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“So you’re telling me you lied about knowing how to horse ride?” (Name) gave him a shocked but inquisitive look after hearing his confession. The man in question became bashful and wanted the couch he was sitting on to swallow him whole. Why did he have to tell the pretty girl he lied about being a pro at horse riding?

“I wouldn’t say I lied…”

“Oh boy…ha ha ha…I’d like to hear this,” (Name) chuckled at her companion. She needed to hear his hilarious excuse as to what made him think he could get away with such a ‘dark’ secret.

“Ok, ok. Shush…Don’t you want to hear the actual truth?” he asked her.

“You’re right. My apologies, your highness. I did not mean to disrespect you in the slightest,” she said to him in her best posh British accent while giving a mock bow. Which was not bad at all. (Name) was not only an aspiring actress but also dabbled in some voice acting. That was one of the things that fascinated Ben. She was so talented.

After her little antic, Ben could not help but playfully roll his eyes at her. “Anyway…As I was saying,” he continued, “I did not exactly lie…exaggerate is more like it…”

“Oh yeah! You sure did exaggerate it! Ha ha! You basically preached it is what I was told when you did the auditions, ha ha ha!” Ben’s face turned red hearing her say this but he couldn’t stop the smile growing on his face. He thought her laugh was cute and funny…wait, did hear a snort?

“Alright, then when was the last time you rode?”

“Umm… Last I rode a horse was when I was little…”

“Little how old?”

“Seven or eight, give or take.”

“Benjamin Barnes! You need proper lessons! My god! You’re lucky you made it this far! What if you got hurt?!” she chided him but out of concern after hearing the rest of his truth. Ben just smiled at how worried she became. (Name) was the nurturing type among the cast members. She deeply cared for every single one of them including him.

“I’m alright now, aren’t I?”

“Luck may be your friend right now but there’s no telling when she’ll turn tail and stab you in the back…Uh, Uh, No. You need thorough practice, Mister.” She began to lecture him sternly. Ben was smart, without a doubt, but he was also stubborn.

“I am practicing.”

“Walks and trots are not enough. There are scenes where we have to ride the horses at a much quicker pace. You have to master the canter and gallops.” She was right. He just felt lost and confused at this point. “But not to worry…there’ll be an instructor and specialist. Including me.”

“You? I didn’t peg you for an equestrian.”

“One thing in life you shouldn’t underestimate is how cartoons can influence a child’s decisions and life choices,” she explained to him animatedly. Ben laughed at her delightful nature as she gave him a cute and innocent answer to how she gained the skill.

“Are you serious? You have to be joking,” he leaned in close while placing his elbows on his lap. Ben sat on the couch alone while (Name) opted to sit crisscross applesauce on the carpeted floor by the coffee table.

“Dead serious, my good sir!” she said haughtily to her dashing co-star as she sipped from her glass of wine. Ben just kept chortling after hearing how his ‘new-found’ friend committed to learning a dangerous and tough skill such as horse riding just from watching a cartoon show.

“And, pray tell what animated television show was it that influenced such a young mind to study a perilous skill that is horse riding? Strangely I have a feeling I know what kind of show it is…” he grinned at her mischievously. Both the actors just loved to rile each other up in fits of laughter and joy. (Name) chuckled under her breath before looking up and dead straight into his eyes.

“It was My Little Pony.”

“My Little Pony! Ha ha yes! Girls in my primary school days loved that show.”

“All girls either dreamed to be an equestrian or a magical horse… for me I think it was both.”

Learning these silly things about his ‘newfound’ friend and co-star felt like an interesting and thrilling adventure. He felt like an explorer having discovered something new and exciting. Ben didn’t take into account how he could connect and share with a person like (Name). He was normally reserved but (Name) allowed him to open himself and be at ease.

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So yeah that’s how it started with the two. (Name) and Ben started off as friends…good friends actually. It was saddening to know that both actors will have to look elsewhere for open roles in upcoming films/tv shows. But that didn’t diminish their hope of losing their friendship nor contact with one another. From there, they made promises to keep in touch and send support anytime, anywhere. Ben was delighted with how things were going for him in the film industry. He had come a long way and studied hard. He began with minor roles and dabbled in music, and finally, his talent and skills were recognized.

As for our lovely (Name)? Things were also looking good for her as well. Her performance (though a minor role she had played) in Narnia astonished viewers…critiques and gave way to more opportunities for the young actress. Busy schedules, signings, interviews, making appearances, promotion of brands, and so on; this was just the beginning for the two rising but underrated stars. Not at all did it dwindle their connection…only made it stronger. All in all, they always made the time to call one another.

At the start, it was a friendship, yes. But it became more personal for the two. Secrets were shared. Families and siblings were introduced. Insecurities were confessed to one another. A lot of meaningful things were made between Ben and (Name). It was obvious to everyone around them including their families that the two were meant to be. The Barnes family adored (Name) for her selfless and kind nature towards their eldest son. And the (Surname) family was grateful to Ben for looking after their daughter in the film industry. The Barnes were also thankful for how she was patient and respectful of their son’s nature.

You know…when (Name) was first introduced to his family, they actually had mistaken her for his girlfriend. Their chemistry was good…really good that it really misguided them into believing that they were dating. But Ben’s mother knew him well. He was deeply infatuated with her. And he didn’t even know it. After a nice hearty meal in the Barnes household, Mrs. Barnes didn’t have to look further through her analytical eyes as she gazed upon her son talking so animatedly with the sweet girl.

From then on, she’d come to the conclusion that this young lady right here sitting before her was meant to be with her son. Another thing to add, the woman wasn’t getting any younger…she wanted some grandbabies.

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Support was given, secrets were shared, jokes were exchanged, and so much more. The friendship grew and strengthened, and it became apparent in the eyes of everyone how Ben and (Name) adored one another. But it became so frustrating how neither one of them took the initiative to confess to one another. Yeah, they liked each other, without a doubt. Okay, that’s a bit of an understatement so let me clarify it, Ben and (Name) genuinely loved each other (secretly and unknowingly).

However, despite the close relationship they held, they still both led different lives and hence went on different paths. (Name) would be occupied in some part of the US for a TV series and Ben would be in another part of the US in a studio working on his movie. All in all, they were busy with their schedules, interviews, and promotions.

In addition, Ben was a dashing and charming fellow so it was no surprise he was not single most of the time. He would date different girls here and there. Some he met through mutual friends and some he worked with. The relationships didn’t last long but (Name) felt she could not compare to these beautiful and striking women that caught her best friend’s eye.

Now she didn’t think less of herself. No, not one bit. She loved herself and all that she was. Her attitude was basically ‘Fuck you! My body, my choice, and besides I doubt you can handle all this!’ Oh yeah, total badass. But the point was she felt she could never fit herself in Ben’s heart. Of course, there would be some insecurities like; Was she not enough? Will she ever be enough? Does he ever see her as beautiful? Do you think he would feel the same way as she did about him?

I guess she would never know. So she lets fear cloud her thoughts and convinces her to bury those feelings deep inside and lock them away. It was better this way, she would tell herself, better to hide than leave with a broken heart and a destroyed friendship.

As for Ben’s case, he was also cooped up with his own schedule and the interviews but he always had something occupying his mind or rather someone. That, someone, was, of course, (Name). Why? Well, he wondered if she was doing okay... if she got the role she was auditioning for... if she got the package he sent her... or if was it too much. He did recall how much she enjoys candy from the UK, so he thought why not send her a box of candy.

His head wasn’t just occupied with her but his heart too. Ben couldn’t ignore how fast his heart was beating at the thought of (Name). Even with all women he has dated in his life, he always compared them to her. She was everything they weren’t. She was everything that he looked for in a woman. She was just everything and he loved it.

Yes, Ben Barnes was deeply infatuated with (Name) (Surname). And that infatuation would remain a secret for… who knows how long. Ben didn’t want to risk the chance of getting rejected and losing their friendship altogether. He couldn’t imagine losing her. He would not dare be reckless with his feelings either. But deep down… Ben wishes (Name) would one day return his feelings, so, in the meantime, he’ll just keep it all inside whilst he cherished his time with (Name) as being her best friend.

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One of the many things both the actors shared their love and joy in, was celebrating the holidays. Sure at first, these special occasions would be celebrated with close loved ones such as their families and long-time childhood friends. But it had gotten to a point in their lives that their friendship became…how to describe it…wholesome? Amazing? Fun? No, it was UNIQUE.

Ben and (Name) may have had their own circles of friends and companions but when it came to just the two of them…Things were just different really. But in a good way. And with how their friendship felt ‘unique’, many of their cherished moments included sharing some of the holidays.

It was late December but only one day before Christmas Eve. The sky was dim and cloudy as a shower of snowflakes descended upon the white blankets that covered mother earth. Our beloved (Name) (Surname) was currently settled in Ben’s humble abode and getting comfortable in the kitchen. Earlier, the young lad had received word that his old friend, (Name), was in his area and without a moment to lose nor a chance to forgo, called the actress to come over and celebrate the holiday with him.

Well, actually in truth, it may have slipped out as they were catching up over the phone. It started off as a light conversation. (Name) had come to England very early December to visit her cousin and attend an engagement party. During their chat, Ben had thought to himself of how it would be wonderful if she spent the winter holiday with him for the first time. What he hadn’t realized then was that he had voiced out his own thought. Of course, (Name) heard him. She said yes after all. What neither could tell as they spoke on the phone was how Ben was so flushed and red in the face, and how (Name) could not stop smiling to the point her cheeks hurt.

The two were filled with giddiness and glee at the prospect of spending this merry occasion with one another.

(Name) had taken up the duty of baking and was now occupied with rolling the cinnamon-sprinkled dough while mischievous and quite secretive Ben was trying to be sneaky in licking the sugary frosting. He was excited to finally eat some of his friend’s food once again. It was always a treat for him when (Name) pulled out her cooking skills and introduced her ethnic foods to him. It was actually both a treat and a learning experience for him.  

A fond memory to look back on was the first time they cooked together 9It was the first time (Name) had been to his home. She was so flustered that day but happy nonetheless that Ben was opening himself to her. It made their friendship so genuine). (Name) had quite the adorable shocked look on her face when she realized her British BFF did not always season his food properly. Well, he did. Just only salt and pepper. And if he felt like going crazy then a dash of paprika.

“Seriously? That’s a dash? More like dandruff,” she had teased him but he would pipe back saying, “I can’t help it! Don’t judge me!”

“You’re lucky you have me at your side, you uncultured Brit. That palate of yours needs some awakening. You, my handsome fellow need to have a taste of flavor!”

“You think I’m handsome?” he smirked at her which made her blush profusely.

“Ah-ah don’t change the subject! I’m here to teach you and you will thank me in the future.” Nice save, (Name), way to draw his attention away from that compliment you blurted out.

Then again, now that she looked at him closely. Ben was really handsome. He had such an adorable, infectious smile, dark alluring eyes, smooth luscious hair (which she envied so much, I mean have you seen his hair?!), and those lips…so pink, so soft, and kissable- ‘What the hell is wrong with me?! I can’t have these kinds of thoughts about my best friend! Not even, Ben!’

(Name) never saw Ben for his looks but for his personality. She found him to be kind, brilliant, humble, compassionate, caring, genuine, and… gosh, she could go on and on about the great things she sees in him. In the end, (Name) could not deny the truth…and the truth was that she was falling harder for the young actor, day by day.

“You feeling alright, love?” Ben interrupted her train of thought. Seems like she was spaced out there as her mind walked through memory lane. Now back to the present, (Name) looked back to the man that held her heart without his knowledge, and… Wait a second! Is that white frosting at the corner of his lip?! All of a sudden, (Name) boldly swiped her thumb at the corner of his lips picking the bit of frosting and bringing it into his line of sight to playfully reprimand him for his actions.

This caught Ben off guard and brought sweet chills down his back when (Name) touched him briefly. But then his eyes saw how she grumpily looked at him like he was a wanted criminal. God, did she look so adorable. He almost laughed at how she pouted so cutely like an angry chipmunk.

“Ha ha, you caught me,” he told her with hands slightly raised in surrender.

“Mhm, seriously, Barnes. What am I going to do with you?” she questioned him.

“Love me unconditionally? Cuz I think we’re low on frosting…” he trailed off nervously with a mischievous grin on his face that showed no regret in his actions. (Name)’s eyes widened slightly and looked to the bowl that held the concoction of her grandmother’s frosting.

“Ooh you dang little Brit…” she then dabbed her frosting coating thumb on his nose which made him chuckle at her reaction. “Oh well, I wouldn’t say little…” Ben replied naughtily going off perversely which made the woman blush at the thought of it which made the man chortle at her embarrassed reaction.

“Oh-Oh-you… You know what, out! Out! I need to finish this before your parents come over!”

“Are you seriously kicking me out of my kitchen?!” he laughed.

“Yes, yes I am! Because somebody keeps eating the ingredients!”

Ben just kept laughing as he let her push him out through the kitchen door but then paused as he looked up. “Oh look, mistletoe,” he pointed out. This caused (Name) to halt her movements and look up as well. And indeed, there was a mistletoe hanging at the entrance of the kitchen door. Huh, how did she miss that? Suddenly there was a stillness in the air as they both had come to the realization of what being under the mistletoe meant.

Ben’s thoughts of kissing (Name) right there and now but the risk of ruining the friendship and making things awkward between the two caused him to reel in the chance of doing so. He deeply cared for her and he would never dare try to drive her away nor scare her because he held feelings for her. He turned his body towards her and saw her staring at the mistletoe in deep thought and wonder.

She looked back at him and immediately their eyes connected. And suddenly, the world around them began to disappear and it was just them and them alone. It felt like being in a foggy dream. Ben and (Name) stood before each other staring at each other for long until Ben spoke, “Shou-should we… you know...” he barely formed his sentence but (Name) was quick to understand what he meant.

Hold on! Did Ben perhaps gesture that they commit the mistletoe tradition?! Was he serious?! So many thoughts ran through the woman’s mind. “I-I mean… It is tradition… I-If that’s what you want…” she herself found it hard to speak as well. Here she was, in front of the man that held her heart and the way he was looking at her... His face and expression held such a soft, sweet, loving, captivated look.

They coincidently held a reoccurring thought… ‘If I do this… there’s no turning back.’ Their faces then leaned in closer till they could feel each other’s warm breaths and signature perfumes. Ben smelt sweet yet woody whilst (Name) smelt fruity and fresh. Not too long did their lips collide and a passionate feeling burst between the two.

As their lips touched, they went back to recall all of their relationships and past experiences of kissing other people… none of them could compare to what they were doing. Ben felt so happy right then and there that he pushed himself to kiss the girl he’s always dreamed about and (Name) felt other bliss being in Ben’s arms as his lips caressed hers. He was tender yet passionate. The two had to pull away to regain oxygen and finally face the reality of the situation they put themselves in. As they pulled away from one another, Ben still kept his arms around (Name) while she had hers around his neck.

It had dawned on them that their kiss was so… real and intimate that their bodies were brought closer till they were intertwined. Ben began to smile and chuckled which confused (Name) and at the same time scared her into thinking Ben was playing for her fool but what he said next changed everything.

“I- I’m not going to lie and say that wasn’t the best I’ve had since ever…I-I don’t regret what I’ve done, (Name), I don’t,” he confessed to her seriously. She began to pipe in but Ben placed his finger on her lips to give him a moment to finish what he started. “Let me explain, please…” She nodded back and let him continue.

“I don’t regret kissing you, (Name). Not one bit. In fact, I’ve been dreaming since the moment I met you to kiss you… but not what we did back when we filmed Narnia… but out here… in real life… I’ve always held feelings for you, for so long. Too long, actually. I love the way smile, the way you laugh and cry at cat videos…”

That last bit made (Name) giggle for it was true. She both loved and nurtured felines. Ben smiled at her reaction and it gave him the boost of confidence to further his confession.

“…I love how spontaneous you are, how smart… and talented you are, it’s amazing what you’re really capable of, and I really admire that about you… I am in love with you, (Name) (Surname).” He finally said the last part he craved to tell her for years throughout their friendship yet it came out shakily as he feared her reaction to his confession.

But wait…was she…smiling at him and…were those tears?! Oh no! Did Ben screw up their friendship?!

“Ha ha… oh Ben… and here I thought I was the only fool in love with their best friend…” she cried happily to him. Ben let out a huge breath of relief. He smiled through his own tears back at her as he cupped her face to wipe off her tears that trailed down her cheeks. She was too beautiful to cry even though they were happy tears.

“I love you, Ben Barnes. Always have, haha. My god, it’s really happening! I love the way your eyes light up when you- when you’re happy, I love the way you laugh, I love you’re enviously but beautiful hair… God! For a man that uses one product for every part of his body, he still looks good!”

Ben began to laugh uncontrollably at her comment about his hair. (Name) would sometimes mention how it was unfair that men would only have to rely on one product to apply on all parts of the body and yet come out smoother than a baby’s bottom.

“…what it’s true! Anyway, where was I… ah yes, the hair. Love your hair, I also love your passion for music, in fact, I love how you sing Ben…”

Now, this caught him off guard. Ben had been open to her about his dream to one day release his own music but he didn’t think (Name) believed in him.

“You are so talented, so smart, so authentic, so… you’re amazing Ben. I wish you would see yourself the way I see you… And that’s why I love you,” she gave her confession.

Ben was left awestruck by her words and just like always she always left him speechless. “It took us a long time to tell this to each other…” he said to her breathlessly.

“Years of agony of loving in the dark and the fear of rejection… it’s over… I can finally show you my affections in the open, right?” she asked him.

Ben tucked in a stray strand of her luscious locks that smelled of lavender before looking deep into her eyes, “No more hiding. It’s all out in the open.”

“So what’s next?” She was now confused and felt no need to leave the warmth of his embrace, “What does this mean for us?” (Name) wanted to understand further about the change of their relationship and all the changes that would come with it.

“It means… that we become what we’ve always wanted… more than friends…”

“I like that but… what if things ever go south…”

“Not possible,” he said it in an earnest tone.

“What makes you so sure?”

“Because you’re all I’ve been looking for all along.” This made her smile and she leaned into his arms as they hugged like two long-lost lovers who finally found each other once again.

“Ha ha ha, Hah! I love you, Sirius Black,” she said to him playfully.

“You are never going to cease to let me live that down, are you?” he rolled his eyes at her.

“Nope!”

It wasn’t that long ago when Ben learned that Harry Potter fans imagined him or declared him to be the young Sirius Black of the Marauders fandom. Not only that, he was one time asked to take pictures with a Gryffindor tie.

“You can also be quite cheeky, huh. But that’s what I love about you… Sundance…” he said the last part with a smirk that caught her off guard.

“How did you-?!”

“How could I forget that My Little Pony manipulated you into becoming an equestrian… and you only get Sundance merch, ha ha ha.”

“Ahh!”

“What?! It’s adorable!”

Yup, those two were meant to be.

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Author's note:

Hi @marimorena06 I really want to say I'm so sorry you had to wait so long for your request to be fulfilled. I'm aware you gave your request last year (2021) on November. I thought I was confident in taking requests but was overwhelmed with the list of replies (I'm not mad). I'm disappointed in myself in being slow but I'm happy to finally be done with all the requests that were sent to me. Though I think you deserve all of my sincerest apologies for having to wait the longest. So I decided to put all of my mind and heart into this fic and spice it up with so much love, details, short stories, and some humor.

It took me long and hard but I managed. I've come to the realization I don't do well with deadlines so I'm taking a break from accepting requests until I'm a pro at this. All those fandom writers who deal and accept with a lot of tumblr fic requests have my deepest respect. I only had a few and I barely managed. I didn't want to disappoint, I had writer's block many times, I was busy at home, looking for jobs (it is so hard to find), I was so sick (I'm not saying I had the hardest time), and my laptop sucks (like really sucks... I've had it for nearly 10 years).

So my apologies to you and to everyone else that was anticipating this fic. I hope it meets your expectations and that it brings you joy. And again thank you for your request it was so sweet of you to ask me, a newbie, to bring your idea to life. You can request again once I'm available. Right now I'll be going through some changes and introducing new content. Thank you once again, I hope you had a good holiday and happy new year to you and everyone else. And thank you for the support.

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