I was sitting in the ER today. A follow up appointment. I had very recently be ravaged by a intense allergic reaction. Only a few days ago my entire face was red bumby and swollen as shit. I could barely even keep my left eye open. My face is still red as hell. It hurts and itches beyong anything I've ever experienced.
But I'm not here to complain. Only to explain. As a trans women I have enough hate for my face as it is. To add this on to it. Well I felt like something was stolen from me. A bit of acceptance. Accepting my face. Do you know what I mean?
So I sat and waited on one of those weird textured hospital beds. You know beds that feel like the sheets where made by a 3D printer.
Anyways I was sitting on that bed, not laying, waiting for someone. I mean I had plenty of people, RNs and what not come up to me ask me questions , and then let me know the doctor would be with me shortly. I got told this like 4 times.
Again not complaining. Finally this Dr shows up. He points at me and says "I guess I'm looking for you." I think he was having trouble finding me? He then sat next to me, literally right on the bed with me. Which was strange and took me off gaurd. He looked at me and his first question was. "Okay before we start, tell me what do you perfer to go by? I dont like to assume." Honestly I panicked. I wasn't dressed feminine, my soar throat left me with a deeper voice than normal and my face was a true wreck. I instantly told him "I have to legally tell you that my name is **** and my sex is **** because of my job. Idk why I said this instead of the truth. Maybe I was afraid he was going to out me or tell my boss or idk something not good. I never had a genuine stranger ask me this.
He said "Yeah I know, but like what do you perfer? He, she, or??" And he was nice about it. Usually people ask as if they're doing an interagation. He said it in a way like he wanted me to be as comfortable as possible.
I said "She" and he used that pronoun for the rest of the conversation as we went over my condition.
This encounter was so important to me. He started with wanting to know what I preferred. He didn't pry me about any deep gender related questions. He spoke softly and kindly to me. He trested me like a normal human being.
This was everything I needed. My face is a wreck and I'm dressed like a boy but this Dr saw and treated me like a girl. I cried later...I never had a stranger treat me with so much respect.
I don't think I'll be worried about how my face looks like anymore or what I'm wearing. I know I should know this. But I don't need anything to be a girl. Anyone should beable to repect and show me kindness regardless of how I look. It's as easy as he made it.
I wish I would have caught his name. Ironic. Again I was so panicked and shocked my brain was barely there. Who ever he was, he did something important for me today.
