#spacebarb1e

in front of anyone else he would fake a smile, shake his head, and tell them not to worry about it. but not her, not leia, who seems to be able to see through him even when he's really trying to put on a mask. never his specialty, but especially now.

so he nods and sniffs like a child that just finished crying. he had so that's another truth laid at leia's feet. "yeah." it's not that he doesn't believe her, just that he can't think of anything else to say at that moment. running his hands over his face he tries, desperately, to claw his usual self back to the surface.

"There is always a price for power." @spacebarb1e

"There is." Breha agreed, giving Leia's hand a small squeeze.

@spacebarb1e asked: [ crying ] sender finds receiver crying

𝐕𝐔𝐋𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐓𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐘'𝐒. for as long as she can remember, she's kept her walls high and sturdy, knows that to let anybody in is as good as taking a goddamn wrecking ball to the brick and mortar that holds her together. as a captain, she has to keep her head held high, stay strong for her squadron--- or at least what is left of it. if their captain's hope is wavering, what damage could that do to their own? it's what drives her straight to her quarters after the debrief, where she sits at the edge of her bed, counting to ten and backwards and trying to console herself before the tears can break loose.

breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out. once, twice, and again until the third breath is exhaled through a strangled cry. tears burn behind her lashes, rolling slowly down her cheeks and dripping off quivering chin. i could have saved them. she sucks in a sharp breath. it should have been me. there's a seizing feeling in her chest as she tries desperately to reel in quiet sobs. the knock on the door startles her, has her heart pounding in her throat as she struggles to find her voice.

“What were you doing my little sunbeam, trying to climb over the garden wall?” Though rather than being frustrated or disappointed, she laughs. The girl’s skirt was torn in several places and a smear of dirt along her cheek, but otherwise she seemed all in one piece. Amelia is not at all surprised, nor is anyone else, or at least anyone of note anyways. Though Amelia did not think herself very different when had been that age, rushing back from the stables with bits of hay still tangled in auburn curls. “Come here, let us see what we can do about setting you right—”

he had no idea if this was some new rebel code she was trying to use or an honest-to-goodness weird kind of pep talk, and honestly, at this point, he was too afraid to ask.

all Matt had wanted was some dating advice, and this is what Leia had to offer. was this how she nabbed men? was this how she expected him to lure in men? or was this some sort of covert sabotage to ensure that he stayed single?

somehow he managed a weak smile and nodded along in agreement as if anything about what she'd said made any sense ( maybe being a general was getting to her. it seemed like @spacebarb1e really needed a vacation or, at the very least, a nap. ), "yeah, i'll... try to look more like a pterodactyl..." what did that even mean? how was he gonna pull this off without somehow finding a ridiculous costume? he should have asked han instead.