#space wizards

(Part 1) (Part 2)

Before I hit the (stupid) picture limit in Part 2, the Evil Pilgrim Wizards of Megas-Tu had agreed to free Kirk and the crew of the Enterprise, after looking at the Enterprise computer library and seeing that human beings were not the primitive savages we had been the last time they interacted with us.

But they won't free Lucien, the Devil, who brought the Enterprise to the planet in the first place. Because, quite frankly, they are sick and tired of his devily shenanigans, and will punish him by entombing him in an Orb of Loneliness for all time.

Kirk doesn't think this is very fair, and suggests they back off a little. The head Evil Pilgrim, Asmodeus, tells him to mind his own business, that this guy is guilty of all kinds of crimes because he is the actual literal Devil (this is finally what is supposed to be the grand reveal of that, for the two viewers who haven't figured it out yet).

But Kirk doesn't care: just because a guy is the Devil, IF the guy is the Devil, doesn't mean you can be unfairly cruel to him, even if you are eternal Space wizards and probably know a lot more about what you're doing than Kirk does! But if there's one man in the whole of Starfleet who has never let his own ignorance or being vastly outmatched by Space monsters stop him when he knows he's right, it's James T. Kirk!

Asmodeus asks what exactly Kirk thinks he's going to do to stop the Megans, considering the Enterprise and all their other technology doesn't work at the moment.

That's when Spock reminds Kirk and us about that time Spock taught them all how to be wizards off-screen (remember? Sulu summoned a lady?).

Now, even given this, a sensible person would probably stop and reflect on the fact that even if they can suddenly do magic, knowing how for like half a day is not going to be a match against wizards who have been wizards for thousands of years. But Kirk doesn't have time for being sensible when saving the Devil from Magic Prison is a thing he has suddenly decided he very much needs to do!

So he challenges Asmodeus to a Space Wizards' Duel.

And it goes exactly as well as you'd assume: Kirk gets his ass handed to him, in front of a rainbow flag:

Immediately don't worry though, because it doesn't matter. Kirk has hardly recovered, when everything is suddenly fine. Lucien is standing there, free, and in good spirits. See, them imprisoning Lucien was merely a test, to see if humans really were englightened now. Apparently enlightened enough to think the Devil deserved human rights...?

I mean, fair enough. Asmodeus looked at the library record of the Enterprise's previous adventures, and Earth's history. I'd certainly still have some big questions in that context.

But because Kirk tried to get justice for the Devil, the Megans really DO believe humans are cool now, and will let them come and hang out on this cool wizard planet!

They celebrate with tankards of substance.

They then return to the ship, which works now, where they share a good hearty laugh about how they were nicer to the Devil than God was (or something; intentionally vague), and we're finally done with this nonsense.

No I don't know when the cowboy switch between the real trial and the test trial, and Lucien suddenly being in on it, happened. Because I don't think the whole thing was a test? Unless it was? I don't know.

Also forget about all this, because they certainly don't stop off here and hang out with the Devil a decade later when Spock's brother flies into here to find God. Because this is a 70s cartoon, and we didn't care about multimedia brand integration until Disney execs decided to squeeze money out of everything in the 2010s.

Like I said way back in Part 1, while the plot here is certifiable wackiness, the actual story is pretty standard for TOS Trek, even kind of progressive: Kirk proves to god-like aliens that humankind is enlightened now, primarily because we no longer believe in ancient religious nonsense. That's about as Roddenberry Trek as you can get without a woman also being treated badly (ha ha ha, sigh). So despite the presence of the Devil and Space wizards, this is a good, standard-issue Trek story. And it even gets little digs in at the foolishness of contemporary religion, something the network would absolutely not let TOS do. I mean, yes, they imply that the Salem Witches were actual witches, which isn't great, as I whined extensively about in Part 2. But if Kirk is willing to go to bat for THE DEVIL, this implies that even alien witches deserve to be treated justly and humanely. And that's certainly an important lesson every child needed Saturday morning TV to teach them in 1973.

...Apparently. Or something.

...Spock drew a summoning circle pentagram on the floor of the Enterprise. I'm still kind of lost in the sauce on this one, honestly.

Also Wikipedia says the orginal concept for this was the crew actually confronting God, but the network said absolutely not. If that's true, then that means this is yet another example of a TOS movie seemingly ripping off a (half-used) TAS script. Which is getting a little suspicious.

But, hey. Roddenberry wanted Kirk to call God an asshole. I get it. You keep trying until they let you. Kinda like with women, amirite?

Is Cerveza Cristal actually any good?

No problem!

Well, aren't you cute.