#soval fic

“The feeling is mutual, sir,” I murmured feeling my cheeks heat up.

“I’ll show you to your quarters,” Captain Archer said, but Soval looked at him with an unreadable expression.

“Thank you, Captain, but I was wondering if the Ensign would do me the honor of escorting me in your place,” Soval replied, making Archer lift his eyebrows in surprise as he turned to me.

“I-I’d be honored to, Ambassador,” I answered, and Soval moved to my side. We walked in silence for a moment, before the Vulcan spoke up.

“Have you been well since our last meeting, Ensign?”

“Yes, Ambassador. And yourself?” I asked glancing up at him with what I hoped came across as a friendly smile.

“I have been well,” he stated, but there was something off about his tone. “I...have wondered about your well-being many times in my idle hours.”

That made my eyes flick back up to his face - his calm, impassive face that gave nothing away.

“Mine?” I couldn’t keep the surprise out of my voice. “But...I’m just an Ensign. A human officer of no particular importance.”

“A partially incorrect assessment. You are an Ensign and a human, but you are not insignificant to me,” Soval said as we continued down the corridor. That flummoxed me. Surely he couldn’t feel anything close to what I felt about him. Vulcans didn’t have feelings...right? Oh, who was I kidding? I still knew so little about his species. I was so ill-equipped to understand the nuances of whatever it was that Soval was trying to communicate.

“I really don’t see why, but thank you. That’s very kind of you to say,” I murmured as I averted my eyes.

“I do not speak in kindness. It is only logical that I should tell you the truth,” he stated, and once we reached the door to his quarters, he turned to face me. “Would you join me inside?”

If that question had come from anyone but him, it would have felt loaded.

“Of course, Ambassador.” Following him inside, I wondered what could possibly be so important that he’d invite me in. I’d never heard of Soval being more than the bare minimum of civil to...well, to anyone, really. Why was I suddenly an exception? Soval took a seat on the sofa and gestured for me to do the same. Giving him a small smile, I sat and clasped my hands nervously in my lap.

“Are you content with your occupation aboard Enterprise?” The question caught me off guard. What was he getting at?

“I have no reason to complain, sir.” I couldn’t hide the confusion in my voice, but Soval didn’t seem to be offering any explanation for his odd behavior. “Ambassador, forgive me, but is everything alright?”

The Vulcan sighed heavily and straightened in his seat.

“Yes, Ensign. Although it is I who should be apologizing. I’m afraid that I haven’t had much experience with human minuscule speaking.” It took me a long moment to understand what he meant.

“Small talk?” At a nod of confirmation from Soval, I felt a bit more at ease. He was trying. I had no idea why, but he was trying. “Your efforts are appreciated, but I have to ask. What’s going on?”

“I’m not accustomed to having conversations like this. I would like to...get to know you. I believe that is the correct phrase,” he stated quietly, fiddling with one of his sleeves.

“I would be honored to, sir.”

“You may call me Soval if we are to become familiar with one another. There is no need to be so formal when we speak privately.” It was an unprecedented offer from a man like him - one that I intended to take advantage of.

--

That day, I made it clear that the same level of familiarity was more than welcome from him, but Soval never once uttered my name. As our mission continued with our Vulcan guest aboard, that became something of a private game of ours. I wanted desperately to hear him say my name, and Soval seemed determined to address me by anything but that. Call it my insatiable human curiosity, but I wanted to hear how it sounded when the syllables fell from his lips for the first time. Would he say it quickly - as sharp as a command? Or would he draw it out - let his tongue caress each sound as gently as a lover’s would?

I mulled the question over in the empty mess hall one night after a long shift, nursing a cup of tea and letting my gaze wander the stars as my thoughts did the same. Of all the silly things to ponder during a mission like ours, it felt ridiculous to be wondering about something as insignificant as a single word.

The warmth of the tea as it slid down my throat was comforting like this seat I usually chose.

“Turbulent thoughts?” Turning my head, I saw Travis smiling as he walked over to my table. “You seemed lightyears away.”

“You could say that,” I answered setting my cup down. Travis took a seat across from me and gave me an expectant look. “Just wondering about the intricacies of inter-species communication.”

“Ah, I see. Anything to do with a certain pointy-eared passenger?” My eyes darted up to meet Travis’s, and he was already giving me an amused look. “What? It’s not like it’s a secret that the two of you are interested in each other.”

“Woah, slow down, Mayweather. First, it is absolutely a secret that I’m interested in him. If he ever found out, he’d probably stop talking to me altogether.” The pilot let out a little laugh and shook his head.

“You know, the two of you are really smart, but you still can’t see what’s right in front of you. Compared to the way he behaves around everyone else, that Vulcan is practically mooning after you like a lost puppy.” Travis sounded as though that should be obvious. “He spends free time with you, he engages you in debates - hell, he even teases you.”

At that last observation, I gave him a skeptical look. 

“I’m serious! Soval’s got it bad for you. As bad as a Vulcan can, anyway. Why don’t you go talk to him? I’m sure he’d be happy to entertain such a pretty visitor,” Travis suggested with a playful little wink.

“At this time of night? There’s no way he’d still be awake.” As I lifted my cup to my lips, the door to the mess hall opened, and Travis leaned a little closer.

“Well, speak of the devil,” he murmured, and a mischievous gleam flashed through his eyes. Whatever he was about to do, I couldn’t stop him. “Ambassador Soval, we were just talking about you.”

Barely managing not to choke on my tea, I swallowed nervously even as Travis stood and Soval approached.

“Oh? Is this true, Ensign?” The Vulcan asked stopping beside me with one arched brow. Travis slipped quietly away, leaving me to face the music, but he gave me a not-so-subtle thumbs up on his way out.

“It is, actually,” I answered gesturing to the now-vacant seat across from me. With a polite nod, the Ambassador sat and let his gaze skim over my face. “We were just debating whether you’d still be awake or not - a question that you’ve just answered for us.”

“While I am glad to have been of use, may I ask what circumstances brought about such a specific topic of conversation?” If Soval hadn’t been Vulcan, I’d have expected a teasing smile to accompany his question. As it was, I gave a rather sheepish one of my own and looked intently at my cup as I answered. I felt as though he’d read me like a book if I kept looking at him.

“I had some trouble sleeping and came here. When Ensign Mayweather found me, he said I should go talk to you.” It wasn’t a lie, but it also wasn’t all of the truth. “I reminded him that you would most likely already be asleep, and that your rest shouldn’t be disturbed for a triviality.”

“It is true that most nights I would indeed be asleep, but tonight I share in your own difficulty. For the record, even if that were not the case, I would always welcome your presence. I find your companionship to be enlightening...and pleasing.” Leaning forward, Soval tilted my chin up so I was looking into his eyes. “You are not a triviality to me.”

I wasn’t? Surely he was just saying that to be polite.

“Nor are you to me,” I responded with a small smile. What an understatement. If he knew how much I cared for him and how unprofessional my feelings for him had become, Soval would likely be leaving now instead of shifting his fingers from their place under my chin to lightly gripping my forearm near my wrist. “So...what keeps the great Soval of Vulcan awake tonight?”

“I was unable to properly focus on my nightly meditation. Such an occurrence is rare for me, but it is usually an indication that I need to act on whatever is distracting me,” he explained, and I nodded my head in understanding. I definitely knew how a busy mind felt. “In fact, I went to your quarters to seek your advice, but you were obviously not there.”

“My apologies. If I’d known, I’d have stayed put. I’d be happy to help if you still want my advice,” I offered placing my hand gently over his.

“I would, thank you. This is a rather personal matter, and I trust that you’ll be discreet as always,” Soval said rather pointedly. I agreed readily, and he took a deep breath. If I didn’t know any better, I would have guessed that he was nervous. “I have very little experience in the area of romance, and I thought that I should ask someone with more expertise than myself.”

“I’m afraid I don’t have very much experience in that area myself, but I’ll do my best.”

“During the course of our voyage, I have come to realize that I hold a member of the Enterprise crew in rather high regard. She is highly intelligent, logical, and quite aesthetically pleasing. I find contentment when I socialize with her, and my thoughts drift to her when I am alone.” At Soval’s description, I could tell he really had fallen head over heels for whoever it was that he was describing. My stomach gave an unpleasant, jealous little flip, and I schooled my expression. If she would make him happy, then I would be glad for him, no matter how much I wished I was in her place. Based on his description, it sounded as though he was talking about T’Pol. After all, she was everything he’d said and more. “My feelings are not a problem, but I am having difficulty broaching the subject with her. That is why I sought your advice.”

“I see. Well, the way I see it, you have a few different options. If you prefer a more subtle approach, then you could always try to show her by spending more time with her and gradually letting her catch on,” I suggested, but he shook his head.

“I have already tried a subtle approach, but I do not believe she has noticed. Perhaps I was a bit too subtle,” he mused. “Maybe a more direct method?”

“In that case, you could try telling her what you just told me about your feelings for her. Surely that would convey what you want to.” At that, his brow furrowed slightly.

“Would that not be too forward?”

“Personally, I wouldn’t think so, but I have no idea how a Vulcan like T’Pol would react–”

“T’Pol? What does the Sub-Commander have to do with this?”

“She...is the one you were talking about...isn’t she?” A look of comprehension flitted over his features and he let out a sigh.

“As I surmised, my attempts have been too subtle,” Soval muttered. Who else could he have been talking about? A word floated off his tongue - one that took a moment for me to process because I’d never heard it from him before. Its syllables were laced with sentiment and strung delicately together until its whole was formed with care. Gradually, then all at once it registered to me that he’d said my name. He hadn’t called me Ensign, he called me by my name.

I’d never heard anything quite so beautiful.

“Soval, if you weren’t talking about T’Pol, then who...?” Whether from the shock of him finally saying my name or from the new, very potent hope I felt, my voice shook.

“Someone that I have no right to admire the way I do,” the Ambassador said standing and turning to face the window where the stars whizzed by. He clasped his hands in front of him and spoke. “I am nearly a century and a quarter old and you have not yet lived for three decades. It would be illogical to assume you could feel the same, no matter what I have sensed or inferred from your behavior.”

After a moment’s stunned silence, I got to my feet and moved to his side of the table. Coaxing him gently into turning around, I placed one hand over his and raised the other to cup his cheek.

“You forget, humans aren’t always logical. When it comes to affection, especially of the romantic type, we seldom are.” Taking a slow breath, Soval closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. “I’m afraid I have no idea what being romantically involved with a Vulcan entails, much less an Ambassador, but I’m a quick study.”

“I am also in unfamiliar territory. I do not know what it is to be a human’s mate, but for you, I am willing to learn,” he murmured opening his eyes again and fixing me with an inquisitive look. “What was it that kept you awake tonight?”

A smile stretched my lips at the nearly-forgotten thought of sleep. There were more pressing matters to attend to than my bed.