@khirurg sent " [ hold ] " from these handy prompts (Soudan)
"I should've known." Tears have tracked down his face, getting caught up in the wiry threads of Soudan's beard and tickling his upper lip. But that isn't really what he wants to say, chin trembling as he tries to clench his jaw closed to keep any sobs from escaping even as more tears collect in the creases beside his nose. What he wants to say is that he should have done more.
All the warning signs had been there--the spouse reluctant to add any of their own input, the partner's hand permanently attached to their spouse's knee and thigh in a gesture that could have been soothing or protective if the rest of the spouse's body weren't leaned and angled away. Soudan had even seen bruises on the spouse, concealed behind makeup, but what more could he do when he had asked them privately, when the partner had gone to pull the car around after an appointment where it was raining, if they needed help? They had placed a hand on his arm, smiled, and told him that it wasn't anything to worry about, just a fall. He had known, of course. He had known. But there wasn't much he could do without substantiated reason, and he hadn't gotten any before receiving a call that afternoon from the hospital, asking if he'd had any insight or foreknowledge of the partner assaulting the spouse. The spouse would recover. Soudan, however, still mourned.
"If I had said more, pushed it..." He's reaching for straws and knows it, roughened palms covering Patrick's on his face to hold them there, eyes closing to squeeze what water would fall from them. He leaned forward until his forehead was pressed to Patrick's lips, begging for the words of reason to calm his mind through touch alone. "Could I have prevented this?"











