#sortedfirst

                     Headcanon ; Gran 

             alright, let’s talk about augusta longbottom shall we? it’ll be a wild ride.

         - upon Neville’s birth, Augusta was not excited about neville, this stems from her judgment of Alice and who her son married. Augusta was not even present at his birth nor did she visit afterward, she visited a week later and blamed her absence on the weather. it was a week of beautiful weather prior.

         -  it was after alice and frank’s attack that augusta blamed alice for a small period for the loss of her son. it was also at this time that augusta became neville’s full-time guardian. 

        - it should be known that augusta is no spring chicken, she is in her early fifties when she takes on guardianship of neville. She’s way past her days of raising children, that and to make matters worse she’s lost her only son.  Now you may be curious as to why Augusta doesn’t just put her motherly nature towards neville and raise him as her own? well, the reason augusta is so shut off from neville is that well she’s hurt. It’s her personality that she shuts off when hurt. 

       - it took a long while for augusta to warm up to neville, she never let her emotions truly interfere with taking care of the infant – but she made sure enough that she kept her emotional connection to the boy at a distance. this is why neville was more attached to his grandfather before his passing, his grandfather despite his own age took up most of the duties that were required of the pair to raise this infant. his grandfather was the main care taker of the two, augusta still in her mourning and healing process became slightly more active with the child as time passed but her true love of this child didn’t come till later on. 

      - i believe after neville’s second birthday is when augusta finally stepped over the threshold she’d been hesitating in front of since losing frank. she finally passed it and let herself become somewhat attached to neville, not fully in love with him but enough to watch after him and smile at him fondly from time to time. his grandfather was still the most present and emotionally attached to neville at the time, and this continues up until neville was around seven years old. it was the winter of neville’s seventh birthday did he fully grasp the concept of loss. 

      - growing up and being told your parents live away from you is an odd concept to a child, not one they don’t grasp but one they learn to build themselves around and understand. neville didn’t fully understand the concept of loss until his grandfather passed that winter leaving him in augusta’s full-time care. now by this point, augusta had grown to love the boy, had begun to spend time with him and see him as her own in a way. 

      - there was a lot of unsaid things between augusta and neville in the beginning, about these two having to learn each other and grow to become comfortable with just themselves. in this time span of learning to comfort one another from their loss, it finally clicked between them. that motherly love that had been somewhat absent in augusta’s parenting, finally forming and encasing neville fully. it started to show heavily as he grew up and developed into himself, and oh how she saw frank in him - but she saw alice as well. 

     - its what lead to the rough period between them after his being sent to hogwarts. that over protective and over bearing nature of augusta’s finding itself full fledge – and in her own insecurity is what lead her to make neville doubt himself from her remarks that he wouldn’t be as great as his father. it was the grudge and fear of him growing up and leaving her that made her lash out at him, her minor attempts to distance herself but all the while making him fearful of the idea to grow. 

    - it was rather cruel to raise him to be so skittish of life, but while being away at hogwarts he slowly grew into himself. that’s where his friends came in and helped him become who he was supposed to be, but it was in the summers when he would return to augusta’s cottage that he experienced some of his loneliest nights. 

    - i do believe augusta distanced herself once more because when she looked at neville, she saw frank. she on some occasions caught herself before calling neville frank. 

    - it’s during the start of the second wizarding war does augusta truly fear for her grandson and losing him, she’s pleaded with him on many occasions to stay out of it. Just like when she discovered neville had become friends with james and lily’s boy, she tried to discourage him from doing so. out of augusta’s fear stemmed her worst behavior toward her grandson, and in time neville became sick of it. 

   - it is why when the time came for him to return to school despite all the darkness, he left. despite her badgering and threats he left, kissed her cheek and packed his own bags and left on his own. because as he grew older he grew to understand why she did what she did, it’s why he grew to understand her cruelty was bred out of fear and not understanding. its why when the war was over neville returned to his grandmothers cottage and when she looked at him, all she could see was frank. 

  - it is why after everything neville went through and how strong he became did his grandmother realized it was she who raised and nutured him, but he did that for her. he helped heal the wounds of her loss, he helped sooth her fear and doubt, and helped show her the world isnt as bitter as it may seem. 

  - it’s why neville to date will still tell you that despite the shit his grandmother puts his through, her mood swings, and her wild moments – that there were times when he was so happy sitting in her lap. he was elated to watch her cook, or walk through the garden together. to have her read to him and to have her tell him how much he is loved, even if it was in a passing moment. 

“I think we’ve got gnomes,” Neville calls from the garden, squinting at the tell-tale cluster of holes. As he bends down to get a better look, his glasses, slippery with sweat, slide perilously close to the tip of his nose, but he only adjusts the tilt of his head slightly, too focused to worry. “Yes,” he sighs, half to Hannah, half to the general garden. “Looks like gnomes. Already.” Oh, well. Nothing to be done about it until tomorrow.

He returns the hoe to the shade, untying his gardening apron and hanging that up as well.

4: what’s the one thing you especially love about roleplaying your muse?

just seeing how ppl are INSPIRED. before creating steve, i knew very few other asian and asian-american muns and had seen few asian and asian-american muses in fandoms. i was worried about the reaction i’d receive, but it’s been overwhelmingly positive and i’ve been able to connect with so many amazing asian and asian-americans writers and get to understand how a asian-american captain america might have affected us all.

23: last book the mun read.

unwind, the first book of the unwind dystology. it explores a lot of philosophical questions and tbh i think it did a good job by not delving into science too deeply ( which is where ppl tend to poke holes ) and by not listing wildly to either side of the debate. it’s easy to read and, while some of the characters aren’t the most likeable, it certainly served its purpose in starting to ask the right questions. i was floored that it was a ya novel asking really deep and adult questions of a non-trivial nature with non-flowery language.

He’s pleased as punch and pink as a strawberry, and the Firewhiskey has made him bold. 

“I’m sorry,” Neville replies quietly. He feels unmoored, detached, and what should be familiar and comforting — Hannah in the kitchen doorway, sleepily watching him — seems alien in the wash of blue light. It’s four in the morning and he’s underwater. If there are right words for this, he has yet to find them.

He wants to explain why he had to get out of bed, but he doesn’t understand it himself. He’d been fine during dinner, fine when they went to bed, no nightmares, no dreams. He’d just woken up. Or part of him had, anyway. The rest, he thinks, must be somewhere else.

Hannah is still looking at him, and vaguely, he registers there is something like alarm in her eyes.

“Sometimes,” he starts, but no, that’s not right. He ought to feel worse than he does. He’d worried her, even if he hadn’t meant to. It’s no use. The most he can do is watch her move towards him, follow the path her hand makes in the air with a dulled interest, only to startle as it cups his face. It’s warm. He looks up at her. “I go away sometimes,” he says, and it’s less an explanation and more an apology, clumsy but honest.

“That’s a bad idea Abbott.”