Hihi! Idk how much this may help but from one questioning system to another, I feel you. Recently found out I highly likely have OSDD(1a) and I jus' wanted to say it's perfectly okay and valid to feel frustrated/scared/etc! It's a covert condition that likes to hide from the body, but your journey of questioning (no matter the results) can be as slow and careful as you need
Blebh I'm rambling but as someone with a similar experience (right down to originally thinking I was fictionkin) I just wanted to pop in and give some reassurance that you're not alone in this + it's alr to be hesitant abt it! Oka that's all have a good timezone :,]
yeyea... thank u anon
and everyone else too. i'm a little hesitant to directly respond to everything but i've seen a lot of what people have been saying and... i guess it does feel good to be seen and hear the support. i wasn't really expecting much (idk what i really was expecting, i just needed somewhere to throw down all of my thoughts ig). i'm also happy that it can bring some sort of comfort to people in a similar boat as me... regardless of what i end up concluding, it does feel nice to be helpful.
ahh sorry i might just start rambling oops. but man.. fictionkins. i've called all of these 'parts' kins for years now and it's very strange to think that they might actually be separate people. a part of it feels like it makes sense ??? but i don't know if it'll ever stop feeling so fake. but i think i'm just getting too caught up in that denial. i've been kinda alone in my head for a while (which has significantly contributed to my denial) but my friend kinda helped me realize that i'm probably alone because every time i feel like someone else i shove them out forcefully and reject the idea that i could be feeling like anyone other than "me" (void). i just need to stop resisting so bad and just step back and let them exist... especially since lately it's mostly been flower trying to exist but they're not really assertive at all so it's easy to shove them away...
idk, i don't really want to ramble too much because it's already a little awkward being so vulnerable. i'm still not really used to so many eyes... i was expecting maybe like 2 or 3 people to find this blog but now there's so many... feels so strange to be perceived like this. but i'm a chronic yapper and so this is already way too long oops !! sorry about that
umm!!! tldr !! ty for the kind words yall (including ppl on my post) 🫶
