Please make me cry more. Rin x More by Keshi ?
ᯓ★ thinking about proplayer!rin who isn’t enough for you…
rin plays in arenas, the booming ones with suffocating crowds, a lull of excitement electrifying the atmosphere. as the star player of france’s pxg, itoshi rin is loaded filthy rich. but for all the luxury in the world, all the stardom and trophies he’s racked up, he’s an eternal loser in the game of love. it’s not enough for rin when the crowd goes while after he scores yet another impossible goal, because the only thought occupying his mind is about you, and how he wishes he could have that something called “us.”
no, it’s not really rin’s fault that he has let this void grow between the world and his heart. it started when his shitty sibling left for spain, without much of a “hasta la vista” for rin; sae had simply turned his back and left him in the dust. he thought he might find meaning again in pursuing football, but his brother’s ghost only stared mockingly back at him, a constant reminder that rin could only ever be a shadow of itoshi sae. but he still plays even if it’s never enough for him, he has no choice but to be more than sae now. rin picked up bad habits from his middle school days: painfully sharp tongue, tendency for slight violence, and a knack for getting into fights. and no one ever noticed how rin beat others up, or vice versa, until you showed up. like an angel on earth, you’d press kisses to his cuts and bandages to his wounds. although the worst damage was done to his heartstrings, itoshi rin was no fool: bandaids were no good for heartaches. so why was it that you made his life more tolerable, made him hope that he was something more than a defective tool his brother left behind?
it was selfish of him for him to ask you out, he’s painfully aware. he couldn’t love, he wasn’t capable of reciprocating your adoration, but he wanted it anyway. it wouldn’t be so bad if it were just you two alone in the world.
rin wouldn’t even be staying in school with you for much longer, having been scouted by a man with the name ego jinpachi. but for the entirety that he was away, rin was dying to see you, not that any of his teammates ever found out. he loved you in secret while you loved him like a solemn oath.
it’s not surprising that when he finally was granted a break from the soccer hell called blue lock, you immediately called him wanting to talk. you weren’t getting what you needed, rin’s lukewarm version of love couldn’t be enough. you didn’t really understand that for rin, it was a matter of life or death to play the sport. he wanted to move to france for pxg, you were quick to protest that you wanted more from him, and long distance was the opposite.
when he swears that he “still loves you,” and says “i want us,” you don’t buy it.
and you smell the smoke warning you to run now. so when you end things in search of something more, you don’t see the single glimmering tear roll down the boy’s cheek. you don’t know that he’s at his lowest and about to crash, his play becoming more destructive than ever with pxg. you don’t think about how you leave him in the same manner sae had on that fated snowy night, how you leave him convinced that he’d never be enough for anyone; he couldn’t rely on you to tell him otherwise anymore. “i want us,” he had said, but you yearned for more.
a/n: originally was going to do kaiser with this but rin works too…the amount of sae slander i write is horrendous (i will treat him right one day) ANON I LOVE THE WAY UR MIND WORKS LOL HOPEFULLY THIS IS OKAY?
