#sopping

[this is copy-pasted from my notes app]

So I was listening to lysergide daydream and then Christmas kids came along and I was reading a Ninjago fic when it happened and and what if they were normal. And ok? And like just were friends. Hanging out. Doing stupid bullshit together. And then like what if that’s what they all want at some level. What if they daydream about going on stupid camping trips and accidentally falling in the lake. What if they daydream about going to their favorite noodle restaurant and challenging each other to see who can eat the most bowls before throwing up?

What if Jay and Nya wish they could go watch a bad movie together and go to a greasy diner after? What if Zane and Pixal want to be able to do the same without getting weird looks everywhere they go? What if Lloyd wants to go to a normal school where he is rewarded for good behavior, and have his only worry be how he is going to finish an essay and science project by Friday? What if Cole wants to be able to go hiking in the woods and camp under the stars for a few nights, just because? What if Kai wants to spend a night out in Ninjago city where he doesn’t have to look down every alleyway he passes?

What if Lloyd finds a postcard in the rubble of a fallen building during the latest attack and longs so desperately that he and his friends could be the people in that photo that he keeps that postcard under his pillow every night after? What if Zane tries to join his friends outside one winter to enjoy the snow but has to lock himself in the basement of the monastery for hours afterward reminding himself of where he is? What if Jay can’t bring himself to go into antique stores because once he went to buy an old radio that his parents would’ve loved but one of the lamps in there looked a little too familiar, so he had to run out without it? What if Nya wants to go back to her favorite meditation spot at a waterfall but she can’t stand the sound of running water anymore because underneath it she can still hear those faint whispers calling her back home? What if Cole dreads when he goes to honor his mom on each Day of the Departed because every time he feels a little bit of himself silp away, and he is afraid that one day the last of him will go too? What if Kai doesn’t fully enjoy using his elemental powers anymore because something is different about them after he watched Aspheera use them to burn Ninjago city to the ground? What if Pixal realized that none of the nindroids shes ever met were able to live normally, so she secretly built another nindroid to give them that chance, but they were destroyed when the spider bombs went off, and that crushed her more than any of the ninja will ever know.

What if. 

What if. 

What if.

What if Zane can’t bring himself to go back to the crossroads because during his lookalike contest he realized that there were no Formlings, no ice fishers? Not even one of those helmets he can instantly recognize? And somehow the lack of anything there is so much worse than seeing them again ever was. Because it gives him a gut punch that leaves him hollow for days after. Because he knows that they know. That the things he did will forever be immortalized in the stories that they tell for generations to come. And that he sees the same hollow fear in Fritz’s eyes too?

Ugh ugh ugh 

Sopping. 

I’m gonna design them to cope.

Timestamp: 2:40AM

Never let me listen to songs at 2:00 in the morning ever again [this will happen again]

Erryck I don’t know if this is comprehensible or not but but like do you understand???