#soolan

It was hard to say goodbye to his mother, knowing where they left it off at the dinner table. But Dylan hadn’t expected any less from the woman he knew her to be. His father’s reaction or feelings was not something he considered over his mother’s, simply because she’d raised him more than his father had. Although she’d done so in a way that she knew her father would approve, everything Dylan had ever been raised to attain had never been just for his own good, but for the good of the name his father gave him from birth.

Their refusal to see him as someone who could deny them something as important as a wife with a good status, with a family that had the wealth and reputation to handle theirs too--it would weigh on him too. They hadn’t even truly reached an agreement tonight, and his mother choosing to not see him out like she always did left him feeling a little vulnerable. Vulnerable enough that he was now driving aimlessly. Although, maybe not so aimlessly. His mind might be occupied, but his instinct was taking him where he knew he wanted to be. To the person it knew Dylan needed to see, someone who would make it better.

Besides, now that he’d brought it up to his parents that he wanted to get out of the engagement, he could at least let Sooyoung know about it. It would only be fair to make his intentions with her clear, even clearer than before. That being his priority should have made him feel guilty towards his parents and the duty they wished him to carry, but it didn’t. Dylan didn’t think he would have been able to do that to Sooyoung, for one. He didn’t think it was fair to the woman who was supposed to become his wife by his parents’ orders either.

But the truth was, he’d never thought much of it until Sooyoung came into his life. So she had to know, that she’d shifted things the way she had. He had to be honest, at least tonight, and he hated to bother her without a warning but he was parking behind her place and pulling his phone to send her a message either way. The smile it was already putting on his face, to imagine her relaxing at home, probably underdressed and most likely not expecting him to drop by to interrupt her alone time during the weekend--that made him more resolute to make amends.

sooyoung always had to stop and wonder how she found herself in these situations. 

and really if she had the time to think, to really think about them she doesn’t know if part of her was ashamed that they were ending up with her here. here? here being perched on her boss’ office desk and with his hands a few centimeters from her hips, her thighs...yeah. and his lips buried in her neck.

rewind.

given the type of work that sooyoung does, she’s often thrown around between any executives that need her for projects, when her director doesn’t. her previous occupation as a personal assistant doesn’t quite leave her with her newer responsibilities, and if they need someone to tie up loose ends on a project, they’ll call her, request her, drag her into precarious deals and jobs. 

not precarious as in, out of her job description just the outrageousness in how they tried to split her into four - five people was astonishing. but sooyoung is nothing if not diligent, that’s probably what got her here in the first place. she’s too damn diligent, she’s works too hard too well and when they notice it, they’re all rushing to snatch her up. since dylan’s taken a liking to her work ethic ( and her ) anyone the boss tends to favor must do good work.

she supposes that’s her own fault too. she agreed to help dylan on the projects he’d had, after discovering how well they worked together on their first few projects. she was just assisting but - she’d assisted too damn hard. she cursed her inability to do mediocre work - but really it’s the inability to say no. dylan’s been trying to help her with that but, well there’s other reasons why that’s not going too well. 

either way. she’s prone to phone calls on her days off because what’s a day off. and she’s even more prone to answering when it’s dylan and she’s not sure the nature of the call. she’ll do anything to stop her heart from skipping at seeing his name show up on her screen. that led her to where she is, not perched on the desk, but at least at his office, to the company. he’d needed help with reorganizing and conceptualizing a couple ideas they were meant to present to the board. while sooyoung was sure this could wait something in his voice sounded urgent, so she’s promised to head there as she’s in the area.

it’s no secret that with her job description, there’s very little time for free time and social activities. now that her cover’s been blown she can’t quite go to the club with the bartender giving her the most knowing look each time he slides a drink over. but sooyoung works a lot, and she doesn’t meet her friends often, today had been one of the days they’d planned light shopping and catch up. she’d wanted to put aside dylan’s request but at the sound of his name, both her friends betrayed her and assured her they could meet another time. as if.

so she’d headed to the office.

she’s partially happy no one’s there to give her questions aside from the security guard used to seeing her at odd hours of the day. for the most part the office is empty, not for the most part, it is aside from a few receptionists who asks if she wants her usual before she heads to his office. sooyoung declines, in favor of heading to his office to hurry up and finish whatever it is. with word that dylan was expecting her and sooyoung barely in the door to announce that he was - sooyoung thinks that’s where it started. it started with the look her gave her when she’d closed the doors behind her. it’s something she should be used to, he does it all the time.

looks at her like he doesn’t know what to say. like he has something to say and can’t figure out if he should. it makes her nervous, makes her skin tingle because it’s always accompanied by a smile, to assure her it isn’t bad - it’s just....hard.

‘your skirt.’

she follows his gaze, lower, until she remembers she had been with her friends. that had meant she was more casual, more comfortable. and it’s getting hot so that means skirts, and lots of them. a brown pleated one that’d become her favorite and a collared blouse. she wasn’t going to run home and change just for this - but the way he’s staring, finding her words makes her think she should.

“is it inappropriate?” her nerves get the better of her really, because despite all that he’s said and declared about her - how he feels, she stills finds herself getting shy. dylan must know because sooyoung shows everything on his face and he grins, focused now.

‘have i told you i love plaid on you?’ that makes her brush past him to head towards the living desk where papers are laid out, blush all the way down to her chest. he had told her that he loves skirts, plaid, black and many other things on her, because he doesn’t stop anything that leaves his mouth when it comes to her.

they do get to work, with the occasional comments from him and occasional pauses to glance and remind her in so little words how good he thinks she looks. 

‘are you going back out to buy more? i’ll buy the whole store.’ that gets a folder, empty and useless thrown in his direction. he just laughs, saying stuff like that and he just laughs, like it’s no big deal. like it’s normal. sooyoung could smack him. but they do keep working, and they do get through the meat of what he needed done, it wasn’t as bad as she thought but it was quite the set of work.

“you actually did need me.”

it’s said when they’re taking a break, debating if they should pack it up for the night. dylan gives her a look from the other side of his desk where he’d been filing everything. he’d been rummaging through to see what else they needed, sooyoung leaning against the table.

‘you think i just called you over because i wanted to?’ “wouldn’t you?”

okay - it’s fair to add they’d cracked open a wine bottle or two to help them get through the more trying parts of the files. and sooyoung feels a little warm all the way down to her hips but - she’s not wrong. dylan has the nerve to look surprised like she’s wrong, then he grins.

‘if you show up looking like this, i’ll make up anything i have to.’ “you don’t have to make up anything to get me over here.”

he’s stopped rummaging with whatever’s in his hands and sooyoung should be paying attention to the look he gives her when the words slip out her lips. instead - forever whatever reason she’s watching the files fall to the desk and her eyes watch his hands. because one thing about dylan she’s noticed is - he manages to stress her out without doing a lot. it infuriates her quite a bit. even casual - slacks and a button down - even in this he looks every bit as stunning and distracting as usual. with his arms out for the world to see and his stupid hands ---

‘i’m glad you find my infuriatingly handsome but my hands aren’t stupid.’

this.

this is how sooyoung finds herself in these situations. because she gets lost in her thoughts and can’t distinguish what isn’t a thought anymore until it’s too late. dylan is laughing, she knows it, he’s looking so smug and she watches those same hands rise to cross over his chest.

‘anything else you find infuriating about me?’

it’s a trap. god she knows it’s a trap.

“your eyes.” he quirks a brow at that and she wants to say his stupid handsome face but she’s not done. “you always look like you don’t know what you want to say to me, like you’re hiding some secret you don’t think i want to know. makes me mad because it’s so obvious - you’re so expressive.”

‘you want to know what i’m thinking?’

she doesn’t give him the chance to keep going because she’s cutting him off. maybe she shouldn’t have, maybe she should have given him the chance to continue because she would’ve noticed that he was moving, that he was getting closer as she fired off at her mouth. she would’ve watched gears turn in his head, a man suddenly on a mission. 

“i want to know why you always look at me like you want to do something and don’t. or whatever it is - i don’t know. you pick and choose when you want to be shameless. there’s nobody here and you won’t give me that courtesy.”

she’s talking - nonsense really. because dylan is very expressive with her. too expressive almost. because he’d been determined to make sure she knew how he felt, to the point where it embarrasses her. but she likes it, sooyoung likes it though she won’t admit it, it flusters her, it makes her feel good, wanted. what infuriates her, is not being able to be that expressive back. what infuriates her is hearing him say things, seeing him look at her and knowing what she’d like to do or like to say.

‘what would you have me do?’

she hadn’t even noticed he’d gotten that close. she didn’t even realize how closely she was leaning on the desk. but dylan’s voice is closer, and when she glances at him, he looks so fond, so amused with it all. she can smell his cologne more so than before, and the breath she takes, she can lie it’s to catch her breath and not breathe him in.

“what do you mean?”

he hums, and the curve of her smile makes her want to trace it with her fingers. the way the shirt hangs as he leans against his palm and his chest is open and on display, a comfort he only lets loose around her. she wants to see what it’s like for her fingers to tangle in the buttons, in the fabric. in him.

‘this courtesy you want, you want to know what i’m thinking?’

does she? can she handle what she’s thinking?

“what are you thinking right now?” sooyoung doesn’t miss the way his eyes roam her up and down and her knees buckle. ‘i’m thinking, if i kiss you how i want to, we’d need to lock the door.’

that wakes her up, or at least helps her straighten up. dylan’s look has changed now, it’s not the same fond grin. there’s fondness there but there’s also the way it roams everywhere before coming back to her eye. it’s the way the corner of his lips have formed a smirk, and there’s suggestion in everything. in how low his voice gets, how close he’s gotten to her, how it travels goosebumps down her skin.

sooyoung is quick, quicker than ever. she leans over to the other side of the desk and her fingers fiddle with the button she knows locks the door automatically. she hears the click and doesn’t give herself time to register the shock in his features, if there’s any shock. no. she takes hold of his collar, scoots up onto the desk and pulls him.

it’s clumsy, god it’s clumsy but his lips are on her and dylan as always knows how to take the lead when she’s flustered. when her hands falter and her shyness comes out, he’s already got a hand on her neck to hold her steady, keep her to him and another to steady her on the desk, body slotted between her thighs.

dylan is heavy, and somehow that grounds her. it helps her find purchase in his shirt when his lips finally leave hers and start to trail everywhere else. he’s marked a map down her neck, collarbone and his teeth play at the top of her shirt, a question in his eyes that don’t need answering. he just stays there, watching, listening to the pants that she’s too shameless to hold back. she feels a grin against her chest as his hands find purchase stop her hips, playing and flitting with the pleats in her skirt.

‘wanna know why i love the skirt?’

sooyoung is dizzy, a mess really and all her thoughts are dylan, regardless of what he’s saying. just him, his movement, how he feels and makes her feel. so she nods, nods the best she can through hazy eyelids. he grins at that, and he surges forward to kiss her again, this time his hands slipping under the skirt, grabbing at her hipbones and thumbing ever so gentle at the waistline. all the while his body’s pushed flushed against him, her legs are up around his waist and sooyoung can hear herself now, she can hear the groans and the sounds and she’s red to her feet.

“dylan.”

‘wanna know what i’m always thinking about?’

sooyoung isn’t sure what sound she makes when he starts kissing through the fabric of her shirt.

‘how many ways can i remind you that you’re mine?’

she doesn’t have it in her to think about the noises she makes now. she feels hot, on fire in places she’s not used to. dylan roaming in places that have usually only been ghosted, teased at. but it’s real, it’s him and she’s burning, she’s pressing closer, she’s aching and doesn’t know how to express it. she must been doing something right because the man smiles against her lips, against the kiss.

‘think i’ve found a couple.’

swear to god sooyoung doesn’t know how she ended up here, but she’ll figure it out to get here again.

KOOSTIS

440 g taimset piima vôi vett

260 g kikerhernejahu

1 tl psülliumit

1 tl küpsetuspulbrit

0,5 tl soodat

30 g sidrunimahla

3 tl kookossuhkrut

0,5 tl naturaalset vanilli

näpuotsatäis soola

VALMISTAMINE

normally, sooyoung minds her business.

scratch that, usually sooyoung minds her business. she keeps away from office gossip, stays out the sights of the interns who flirt too much, the girls on the prowl for a victim, the people who always get caught in the break room. she keeps her distance because she can get distracted fairly easily, and when she’s resigned to a task she likes to finish it.

since she’s almost always given a task of some sort at the company, it’s not hard for her to stay focused. she misses out on juicy gossip of course but it’s not too big a deal. the scraps of the gossip get to her sooner or later and even if she’s late on the news, sometimes it’s just as sweet to be in the loop at some point.

even if it’s in the end and it’s a small chuckle or a gasp.

a ‘hyerim is dating who?’, ‘who’s the new intern’ or ‘whose on a warpath today’. things like that. but she always makes sure that she stays out of it, and if she’s apart of it, it doesn’t last long. there’s never much to say about her because she’s really always working, or smiling and avoiding any type of misconceptions.

it’s been - significantly harder since everything changed on that retreat with dylan way back when - but she manages to keep herself far away from his floor in order to keep her eyes from giving her away. truth of the matter is, dylan’s proven he could care less who was around if he wanted to show his affections - he would.

still, the occasional word passes on how he’s nicer to her than others, how he often brings up her propositions when her director mentions them, and he’s one of the few higher ups to request her assistance. talk as they may - sooyoung knows her work ethic makes it easy to discredit rumors. 

all this is said to say - she has a reputation, one that’s very carefully crafted so that she has no trouble getting where she wants - especially if it’s a chair right opposite director cho. the thing is - in order to keep it crafted and clean, she has to have her moments. these aren’t slip-ups, nor are they simple things like midnight face masks or loaded fries after a long week. 

sooyoung is human, and sooyoung has steam to let out. 

that steam, gets burned to the max at a certain club at a hole in the wall in hongdae. far from the company but apparently not far enough from her colleagues. she frequents latin night, has been going since an old friend introduced her and she found she had a flair for the environment, the dance, the hustle, the let go and let loose without a care of the next morning. she’ll often play songs from curated playlists in order to get her through the day and remind herself that she’s going to the club that night.

thing is - she’s often checked to make sure none of her colleagues frequent this club, it’s closed off enough that it’s become something of a secret, but still classy enough that she won’t worry about who catches her for the next song.

she’s never had a concern - throwing her head around, feeling the frills of her skirt tickle her skin, sweat and alcohol alike clogging the air. she’s never worried about getting caught in this little patch of joy she’s found.

so imagine her surprise when she’s stumbling towards the bar, feet only sore from the amount of songs she’s done without stopping and not the alcohol. the bartender who’s come to know her hands her a glass immediately and sooyoung is downing it, the red one her lips starting to stain the rim. 

it’s been a hard week, and an even harder day, this was exactly what she needed, she’d even dressed up a bit to get into it. she’s got many more songs in her, many more steps before she needs to retire, and a late start to the next day so she’s feeling the adrenaline kick right back in.

before she can step back out, a couple things happen at once.

her watch pings, indicating a message to her phone. the bartender slides her a drink - knowing she doesn’t drink when she’s ready to dance, and points in a specific direction in the club. 

she’s used to getting drinks, used to declining and even now, more used to declining dances when she thinks they’re getting too friendly and there’s already someone reserved for that. she’s halfway into checking her watch, and looking for the culprit when her eyes read the text and then move on auto-pilot.

msg: look up.

the first that startles her, is that the message is rom dylan. the second thing that startles her is that - the direction she’s looking is the same direction the bartender had pointed in - all to confirm that he’s here. dylan is here - in the very club that she thought was too hidden away for her to run into anyone.

and of all people - he’s here.

and she’s looking like this. sweating like this and suddenly sooyoung is struck with the thought that he might’ve seen her dance like this.

‘yes i saw you dance.’ the proximity makes the words cut in through the club music and her thoughts and sooyoung nearly jumps in her heels. naturally, dylan is right behind her to keep her steady, his chuckle heavy and low against her skin as she steadies herself by the bar. 

“i said that out loud didn’t i----”

all the confidence the adrenaline gives her in times like this fades, replaced with the silly butterflies that fly through her chest each time he so much as opens his mouth to laugh. not even to speak - just to laugh and she’s a mess.

‘i didn’t know you could dance.’ “i didn’t know you knew this place.” ‘came for a business deal, they picked te place.’

dylan’s moved to take his place beside the counter and sooyoung thanks the heavens the bartender knows her usual order when she’s getting a little jittery. these were times well before dylan, when it was normal to have jitters about dancing with strangers, or even talking to one she found attractive at the bar. she lets her fingers play with the straw and her body take a breath before actually regarding dylan.

he looks great ( of course he looks great ) and she’s suddenly reminded of what she has on.

‘you look gorgeous.’

she feels like mush. it’s a good feeling no doubt - but it’s overwhelming still. the sooyoung he’s used to, is definitely not the one in short sun dresses, heels and red lipstick, shaking her hips to latin music in the middle of a club. regardless - she’s never thought of how to prepare for this because she never saw it coming. dylan, seems to pick up on it, because there’s a hand on her waist, a squeeze to stop the panicking that she knows is unnecessary. there’s a clink at the end of the table almost immedaitely and she’s reminded that the bartender knows this sooyoung and nothing of her outside of this establishment.

so he’s worried and giving her the signal that he’s here to help.

and god sooyoung nearly laughs.

“it’s fine! he’s good! he’s my - he’s...we’re...he’s not bad!” ‘i’m hers - for the rest of the night, if she’ll have me.’

could the earth swallow her?

her gaze switches between the bartender’s smug but concerned look, and dylan’s confidence.

“do you dance?” ‘no, but i won’t miss the chance.’

sooyoung actually laughs this time. dylan’s smiling so easily, like there’s really nothing to worry about and she’d almost forgot that when she’s here - there’s really nothing to worry about. and with him, there’s never anything to worry about, especially when it’s just them. 

and tonight, that’s all it really needs to be. 

she laughs and he looks at her like she’s crazy when she decides to down her drink finally and reach up to pat his cheek.

“try to keep up?” the smile is shy but the words carry ever bit of confidence that she pulls out when she’s on the dance floor. she leaves him for a few seconds to go request a song and then is pulling him with her to a corner of the dance floor. she’s suddenly giddy, very giddy and all previous worries or stress start to fade as the music picks up and the people around them do the same. sooyoung fastens his hands on her hips, breathes out all her worries in one last exhale before looking him in the eye. he looks determined but also he’s observing the people around them, and his hands start to squeeze the more he sees the movements around them.

sooyoung is more aware of things, the lack of space between them, necessary for the dancing and partially because of how packed the dance floor is. she’s aware once again of what she’s wearing but each time she catches dylan watching her, waiting for her orders, or her movements, she doesn’t feel shy, she feels every bit of the compliment he’d said earlier.

she feels just as gorgeous as she does when she comes to let loose, and even more so when her hips start to move and his eyes struggle to focus on her guidance, her movements, or her eyes. it makes her smile, it makes her laugh, it makes her want to keep going.

so she does. so they do. 

it’s awkward, of course it is, it’s obvious that this is new to him but all jokes aside - there’s not much the guy has to do when the girl wants to show off. and sue her, she wants to show off a little. she’s wants to move her hips so fast that when the edge of her dress flies along, it’s less of the air around her and the fabric that reminds her dylan’s right behind her. she wants to hold him close that he has no choice but to move with her, against her and match her.

she wants to give him just a bit, just a taste of this version of her, even if she’s not always this - it’s a part of her and it makes her happy, free and feeling free like this, with him is important to her. 

dylan - he takes it all. he keeps his grip firm, he lets himself be freer as the songs change, as he gets comfortable, as he experiments. he lets his hands wander, she lets his lips fall where they wish, she lets him grip, tug, knead around all the parts of this version of her that he’s not used to. she lets him learn and she lets herself be open to it. she moves with all the openness that office her couldn’t quite muster, but with all the desire that she carries every day. she moves for the things she’s often too shy to say or get out, she lets each shake, each rock, each slip of skin, pass of lips, say all that she’s wanted to.

she’s almost surprised at how easy it is. 

when her hair falls out the ponytail and his lips move from her neck to her ear. when he’s whispering things that make her giggle and stick to him. things that make her forget the rhythm and the music, things that make her turn the color of the drink she’d had earlier and not care one bit. she makes out a few of the words, when his hands haven’t stopped tugging on the frills of her dress and her response is a tug of her teeth against a collarbone and then giggles as a hand in hers is tugging her off the dance floor. 

it’s hot, it’s sweaty, it’s everything a night like this should be and all she can see is the outline of his shoulder where his button up has started to ride low, a few buttons undone. a little peek of red shows the true damage she’d done without realizing and it’s the promise for the rest of the night.

sooyoung is beside herself with joy, thrumming with it when the car pulls up, when his hands can barely stay off her when they’re inside. when her fingers play around the very marks she can’t take her eyes off on his neck.

it’s so unlike her - and yet it’s completely like her. 

he’s focusing on the road, making the mental decision between her place and his.

“mine is closer.” he gives her a look like he doesn’t know what she means. ‘are you in a rush?’ and two can play at that, so sooyoung leans over, chin on his shoulder. “aren’t you?” there’s a squeeze to her thigh at that and she stifles her laughter when she hears the engine accelerate. 

‘are you off tomorrow?’ “i think i can be.”

maybe it’s the magic answer, they reach her place in record time. and the way he can barely keep his hands off her - if someone sees - persona be damned. 

@loveurn ( ft. soolan )

“are you cold?” “a little.”

he did feel that shiver he thought he’d caught. her shoulders had risen with to let it run its course through her body. there wasn’t much that could escape him when it came to her, not these days. this was a familiarity that had grown over time, that dylan himself had not realized had found comfort in parts of him that could now recognize every details that sooyoung’s body language could convey.

“come here.” “i thought you were leaving?”

he was, and he would, once she had made her way in the open invitation of his arms and given into the soft tone of his order. besides, for all she could hold as protest in her voice and the high tilt of her tonality, she was only blinking a few times before moving forward. that was what made it so hard to not try to monopolize her even more than he was able to. although, it wasn’t that dylan was able to, it was that she was feeding into his own weaknesses. copy paste and she was becoming as pliant as he felt in the face of her demands.

he liked her like this too. a bit chilly at first when she slid her arms around his frame and then warmer as she settled firmly and comfortably. all snug as if she wanted to instantly melt against him.

“this isn’t a good idea you know.” she mumbled where she was burying her face, his sweater was a feather touch of cotton. cotton and more cotton, it was the softest one he ever owned. the weather was calling for this type of comfort and it was a sunday. he should have let her rest on the weekend, but office hours weren’t exactly enough to get as much sooyoung time as he could and wanted to get.

so, as much as he didn’t want to take away from her own time--he couldn’t stay away when he knew he could have her the way she was now. he understood the easiness with which she gave into how she felt and how he made her feel when there weren’t any other eyes but the moon and his to witness her actions. not because he had the same issues, because if it was up to him, dylan might have put her in a compromising situation long ago. but the respect he held for what she probably wished to upheld at work was bigger than his desire to keep her close at any given time.

to get her attention at all time, to prove to the world that her gaze followed him wherever their paths crossed. that she was his.

“i’m only warming you up.”

she’d gotten warmer the second he wrapped her up in his arms, a bit heavier too, as if she was ready to fall asleep in this parking lot behind her apartment building. he wouldn’t oppose to it if she did fall victim to the gentle lull and comfort of his hold on her. he’d keep her close through it all. a little snoring in public would not hurt a soul. all it might do was put a blush on her cheeks and complete the picture perfect she already was every time he took the time to look at her.

“it’s actually working too.” “i would hope so. i only produce this much heat for your convenience.”

that low whine of hers had him laughing where he was ready to find safety against her skin. the prickle of it was slightly less heated than the rest of her body, the wind was not forgiving after all. everywhere her skin was exposed would get a blast of its cold breeze passing by. dylan let some air out where he could touch with the tip of his nose, brushing and passing by. that it instantly found heat the moment his mouth was against her shoulder, then her neck, then under her throat. that was something he was going to shelf away with some pride, it didn’t need to be mentioned so long as they both knew what it meant.

it also proved that he hadn’t lied. every part of him that was warmer than usual, had been made so, for sooyoung to grasp at every bits of it to keep herself above the risk of freezing through any weather. he was, so infatuated with every little details she made as a whole, that his body had decided to show him what it had truly been craving for all these years. just this. the slow but expected shift of their bodies, meeting where it should meet and separating where it could for him to find her mouth and kiss her openly but without much of a rush.

sooyoung freed her arms from under his, it progressed the same way as her stretching up to her toes and finding balance with her fingers in his hair. if kissing her was not the best thing to exist after breathing, then nothing was. dylan would happily like to argue the point to his grave if someone dared to deny it. it was, right here. in the fact that just the slide of her lips against his was enough to have him rethink the entire reason of his existence, of why he hadn’t had this from the beginning. from the very first time he’d learned what it was to lose any other senses other than the one that felt into someone else. because of someone else--he should have known her first, before any other woman.

that was the conviction with which he wanted to always kiss her. that way, it could always leave her more than a little breathless and moving against him, following his lead when he was breaking the kiss so that he could get back to it, get back to her. dylan was certain that it was the fervor with which he believed her to have been made in order to be found by his hands, looked at by his eyes and kissed by his mouth, that left her trembling in a way that robbed the cold of its task.

this was his doing. she was his. all impatient and seeking, curiously wanting and knowing where she could push to get what she wanted from him--now. like how when he came back to her mouth, she leaned away a bit. but let him kiss her, then leaned away again--only to kiss him in return. she’d learned to play at this almost too well, it didn’t frighten him. at times, it could frustrate him in a certain way. but it only, mostly, kept him wanting more. waiting for what she would be asking of him--waiting to give into it, whatever it would be.

so when she made them pause, her grip now at the base of his neck--that tender spot of his she’d discovered one night being rubbed gently with her fingers, and pushed these words against a kiss.

“--you staying?” “absolutely.”

@principalles​ //

i.

‘well he is the most wanted single man of his company, handsome, womanizer, ceo' is what she’d said. she being seonhee, one of the girls who worked in the advertisement sector of their branch. sooyoung made it her job to know everyone each time she walked in the break room, as being assistant meant she had to deliver the awful news of another overnight project or a proposal that needed revising. 

that also meant she was in charge of delivering the news of about the company retreat to everyone. the weather was getting hotter and the offices were getting stuffier and somehow the rooftop lunch breaks didn’t do it for anyone anymore. people were stuffy and cranky and sooyoung’s lovely director suggested taking everyone go on a retreat near jeju island, enjoy the beach for a little and celebrate a successful fashion week.

everyone meaning the proposal was given to other departments as well and sooyoung was busy for delivering the impulsive news. to where seonhee asked if she had anyone else to ask and she showed her extensive list of directors, assistants, departments. that’s when dylan’s name was spotted, someone sooyoung planned on asking alter as she knew he had a packed schedule today. that had brought laughter, and seonhee’s insistence that dylan would never come and not to waste her time.

to which sooyoung is once again enlightened by how much the break room seems to know about dylan though she spends a lot of time outside the office. the dylan who is always suggesting they go out places ( for research ) and sooyoung always insisting he needs his rest.

so color her confused and that’s when the response comes.

‘that’s why he wouldn’t come out to a retreat, it’s prime territory for the hawks to pounce.’ “excuse me the hawks?”  ‘every department with a single young woman who just got her swimsuit body ready.’

to which sooyoung doesn’t understand the purpose of showing off a beach bod to a ceo when they’ll still have assignments during the retreat, and dylan will most likely be surrounded by his team and his associates but - that’s not her business. her business is technically just to deliver the news and be about her day. but every time she’s in the break room there’s something else happening. and it’s always more interesting than the dozen coffees she needs to pre-made for her boss who drinks them like water but always wants them a second into room temperature. 

‘though, it’s something guys thrive off, maybe he’ll attend.’ “which is?” ‘ego sooyoung-ah, e-g-o. they love having their ego stroked.’

at this point sooyoung’s taken to just texting people about the news since obviously seonhee has more she wants to tell her about everything she knows regarding the retreat that hasn’t happened and the questions she hasn’t asked.

[ sent: dylan ] director cho wants everyone to take the following weekend off for a retreat to busan beach resort. please click the link to rsvp if you’d like to go! once you’re confirmed you will receive a message from me regarding the itinerary. message me for any questions you might have!

“ego,” she really should brush up on her english again. ‘here listen to this while you finish your errands today.’ seonhee’s typing a song into her phone, sooyoung’s surprised that she already has it, and also surprised that dylan is responding to her when she knows he has a meeting in,

negative ten minutes.

[ received: dylan ] are you going? she also has two more floors to cover before her own meeting begins.

‘sooyoung-ah.’ seonhee’s calling to her as messages flood her phones, rsvp’s and questions alike. ‘make sure to tell dylan you’re going, bet that’ll change things.’

[ sent: dylan ] yeah i’ll be assisting with whatever company bonding shots the director wants. and finishing her unfinished tasks. why? did you need me in the city?

“yeah okay.” that’s one side of beak room gossip she’s not about to get in on.

her phone pings.

RSVP INCOMING! [ received: dylan ] i’ll drive us.

before sooyoung can explain to him why he will not be driving her, she’s headed out the door and engaging more employees in the news of their upcoming trip.

ii.

so sooyoung spends the time planning the trip. helping to plan what catering they might need for the beach parties, the reservations for the rsvp’s and the occasional people who change minds last minute. arranging and making sure everyone has accurate transportation and reports are in way before deadlines so that no one’s blaming midnight parties on missing deadlines and director cho is ripping their ass in a lobby during the breakfast bar. it’s happened and sooyoung would rather not wake up to that level of damage control. she’d had to play nice with the barista that morning to assure this was normal and she lived a decent life as an intern.

all the while, the song seonhee recommended occasionally makes it way to her headphones, catching her off-guard. but beyonce is always a good choice whether she’s finally reaching home late after finishing up reports or going over designs in her director’s office.

what sooyoung doesn’t do is spend too much time thinking over what’s said in the break room. it’s usually gossip that’s spawned from an inability to completely detach themselves from work. those who can’t find it in them to work how they should outside the break room find themselves struggling to make the workplace more than it is. not that seonhee is doing that - but as far as gossip is concerned, that’s what it is. 

sooyoung listens, learns and then goes about her day. she’ll mull over it when she has time to think about anything other than her assignments. but at that point it’s late and she’s about to smash her face in a pillow.

that’s when the lyrics play over again. 

It's too big (big) It's too wide (wide) It's too strong (strong)

seonhee’s words ring next ‘men like having their egos stroked’. visions of dylan in the suit they make sure is tailored perfectly.

sooyoung’s sure that she doesn’t need to brush up on her english but maybe, just maybe she needs to check her understanding of the word. there’s an incoming message from dylan making sure she’s made it home safe and once again solidifying that he’s going to drive her to the hotel.

with the lyrics playing in her head sooyoung makes it a point to get him to promise he will attend his morning meeting and meet up with everyone at the hotel afterwards. she’s somewhat thankful that her boss requested her to meet the team early to do head counts and review the hotel reservations. sooyoung goes to sleep with beyonce’s declaration, glimpses of the laughing emoji from dylan as well as the unwelcome sound of how it’d sound beside her resounding in her head.

iii.

sooyoung gets the appeal. 

she’s never not understood the appeal she’s just always found it easier to focus on other things. dylan was attractive. figuratively, metaphorically, subjectively, objectively, literally, every -ly that could be thought of. he was attractive and everyone in the break room and the whole of seoul knew that. everyone at fashion week knew that and now everyone at the busan resort who didn’t know, would know.

not for the way the interns would flit past him when eh’d entered the establishment. not for the way sooyoung had to call attention to the assistants who still had things to check before their three day vacation could begin. not for the way the hotel front desk associate stumbled over her words when he’d asked if his room was ready, and subsequently gave him the best room ( as if sooyoung hadn’t assured he had it anyway but whatever ).

they know because it’s obvious. it’s obvious because he’s shown up to the resort in nothing more than slacks, a button up and shades and he’s commanding attention. he’s the ceo without ever opening his mouth and declaring. things magnetize towards him without so much of a grin and boy when the grin comes.

it’s impossible for people not to know that he is the most single, most sought-after, bachelor if not in the company, in the vast collection of men his age and his status. 

even the bellboys are staring in awe.

until sooyoung’s reminding them who her director is and they need to take her bags up before she returns from begging the barista to open the day bar. 

‘what floor are you?’ if dylan means it to be whispered he fails at that. and if sooyoung asks like she’s not surprised by the sudden onslaught of his cologne and well - stature, she does a terrible job. because dylan doesn’t wear particularly overbearing perfume cologne, just something subtle enough to say what it needs to. that he takes care of himself and his bathroom is probably worth more her entire apartment complex. either way, the good news is that everyone has headed up to their rooms, or to the beach. the bad news is that her only escape to the embarrassment that she’d squeaked - yes squeaked, is the elevator opening and sooyoung scurrying in.

of course with dylan following.

laughing, a sound that bounces off the elevator walls and has one target, only one and it’s each and every pore on sooyoung’s skin. every hair on her neck, every breath when she watches him reach for his number to press. and she knows, she knows he’s asking her what floor she is and it takes a few seconds to properly respond. because hm, was everything about him proportioned so well? but she responds before her thoughts make their way out her mouth.

“director cho needed me close so, right below you.” ‘easy for you to visit then right?’

and all responses that are usually so easy and quick when they’re in the office become stuck. stuck and then it’s silent. it’s silent and then the she forgets her headphones are still playing and the same lyrics play louder than she’d remembered them.

It won't fit (fit) It's too much (much) It's too tough (tough)

and she’s swallowing quick when dylan’s eyes land on her. sooyoung’s suddenly aware of her own entire, on how flushed she seems when she catch her her reflection in the elevator doors. a peasant blouse and jeans. off the shoulder and with the sleeves barely clinging to her shoulders and the red blush that definitely isn’t from the sun sticking to her cheeks.

she’s aware of, how small the elevator is. how dylan’s height is one of his strongest points. how the strongest might be the smile, the one that she thinks she sees it more than anyone else at the office can attest to. and then she doesn’t want to think about why. why it’s so blinding and why this elevator is small and her lips feel like they don’t know what they should do. 

‘sooyoung?’ 

she’s brought back by the sight of her floor, and dylan watching, waiting.

‘see you tonight?’ and there’s a question in that, one hidden by the laughter that follows it after. and he’s smug because sooyoung’s sure, that for the first time in a while, she’s been occupied by the very thing that halts voices and girls at front desks alike.

“yeah i’ll be there!”

she’s greeted by a friendly text the minute she’s out the shower, and picking an outfit for the bonfire.

[ received: dylan ] didn’t know you were a beyonce fan?

and sooyoung wants to crawl under her blanket and scream but her room is soon taken over by co-workers ready to get ready for the starting bonfire. a tradition, to ensure that the weekend is full of fun and no work, they commemorate by getting shit-faced by the beach and keeping the stories a secret for the next bonfire a year later.

sooyoung’s heard tales but the excitement is enough to have the girls barging in her room to get changed, and help her because quote ‘i doubt you’ll actually pull out the outfits we suggested’.

iv.

one knit top, black shorts and knee-high boots later and sooyoung is already through with the night. but the party’s just started and everyone is attendance. can barely make it to a meeting on time but they’re bright and early for the bonfire, even early to account for all the drinks and even buy extra if there wasn’t enough.

typical.

the breeze from the beach makes up for the heat from the bonfire and the excitement makes up for the long week they’ve had and the long hours put into making sure this ran smoothly.

‘can’t believe he came.’

seonhee’s leaning against her, watching from where dylan chats with his team and fellow co-workers ( as she’d predicted ) the older members, the directors. because a retreat doesn’t mean all business ends even if assistants like to think so. the girls stand to the side, the newer interns mostly, waiting for their chance. they’ll have a better chance for their own superiors before chancing at dylan.

‘you’re right.’

sooyoung of course had said that slight aloud but she doesn’t regret it. she sips at the champagne and watches dylan in the same way that the others do. just observing, taking in the presence he commands even when he laughs, it’s another way in which he works and it’s so efficiently done she doesn’t know how he juggles it all. how he manages it so effortlessly. it’s admirable.

‘oh? this is new.’

sooyoung needs to put down this glass now before her mouth opens again.

“i just think he looks nice like this.” ‘with his sleeves pulled up and his hair back?’ “relaxed, seonhee relaxed.” ‘it’s okay to have the hots sooyoung-ie, everyone does.’

and for reasons unrelated to the champagne, sooyoung’s face colors again.

‘go stroke the ego a bit.’ “seonhee!”

but seonhee’s pushing her off, in the exact moment the crowd disperses as people head for the beach. girls ready to draw their boss’ attention move to strip and get as wet as possible in the water and sooyoung, sooyoung comes face to face with dylan.

dylan who, maybe it’s the bonfire, or the moonlight but his smile has sooyoung catching her breath. 

v.

‘having fun?’

she’s discarded her shoes when they start walking, enjoying the grounding feeling of the sand. the sound of co-workers screaming in delight, in joy at freedom.

“you’re not supposed to work on vacations.” comes her response. she’s not scolding him, and she doesn’t look up from watching the imprints her feet make in the sand. mainly because looking up means catching all that dylan has to offer and she’s not about that right now. 

what she means is, you’re not supposed to look this good relaxing.

‘really?’

oh god no.

‘i didn’t think i was working.’

thank god.

“maybe i’m so used to you working then, it looked like it.” ‘that’s not good, i try to work less when it’s the two of us.’

jesus christ.

sooyoung’s not cold but there’s goosebumps rising on her skin and she fights the urge to itch at them, to calm them down and keep the warmth from spreading to her cheeks from sheer will alone. they’ve walked a considerable distance from the bonfire, she can still hear the fun, the music but it’s slowly fading in favor of the waves and the sound of their feet.

“i think it comes with the position.” it’s a whisper. just like the sound of his laughter, closer than it should be, the feeling of fabric on her shoulders. and a touch as light as that.  ‘should we go back? you look cold?’ but there’s a shake of her head since words are going to fail her, they always fail her. instead sooyoung grips the edges and keeps walking. so dylan follows along. if she doesn’t focus on how her mind’s been betraying her lately, it’s nice.

maybe it’s the silence, maybe its the comfort that she always slips into when she’s around him that brings the comfort. maybe it’s the glass of wine that she probably shouldn’t have asked be refilled. 

“when we walk back the new interns are going to lose it.” ‘is that so?’ it’s half of a hum, half a response and sooyoung can hear the smile, see it out the corner of her eye. she dares not look up or she’ll lose her train of thought. wherever it comes from, she rolls with it for now, nothing to judge her really but the moon following them along. “they love it, i’m sure you know that.” ‘are you saying i love the attention?’ “no! no, i’m saying, well, guys know that.” ‘hm? guys know what sooyoung?’

when they’re so gorgeous it’s unfair.

sooyoung knows she mutters it, but she tries so hard to keep it under her breath. she tries, even pulls his button-up closer to where it might muffle it.

‘you’re surprisingly candid tipsy. it’s cute.’ “i’m not tipsy!” ‘yeah? you haven’t let go on of me though.’

that’s - unfortunately true. and the revelation doesn’t cause any changes really because if sooyoung tries to pull away it results in her just holding tighter on his arm. she won’t look up though, not yet. 

“it’s an ego thing right?” ‘ego, the song you like?’ “it was recommended!”

it comes out as whine, immediate and reactive. embarrassed as she may be, as much as she wants to curl in and head right back to the bonfire, sooyoung holds her ground. even if that means staring at the ground because she knows they’ve stopped walking and dylan’s full attention is on her now. much like the way people always tease her that it is. in a way that she knows if she were to look up she wouldn’t be able to handle. 

It's too big (big) It's too wide (wide) It's too strong (strong) It won't fit (fit) It's too much (much) It's too tough (tough)

so listen, sooyoung’s been attracted to guys before. she’s had crushes so intense they’ve filled pages of books and the corner of seminar notes. they’ve maybe filled playlists too or been the recipient of her using the caps lock on her phone too much. but she’s never had something that quite literally attacks every part of her. from the way her toes curl in the sand just at the thought of the look dylan gives her, the smile, the idea of what he might say next. the timbre of his voice, a warmth that comes from the short space where her hand curls against his arm.

nothing so overwhelming and so subtle that it simmers until it thrashes full force.

like now when dylan is facing her, and when did he get the time to stand in front of her?

why is he so goddamn tall. why is she reminded now that he’d had nothing under the button-up, why did he have nothing under his button-up? why does everything from the smile to the touch he has on her chin make her weak. any thoughts of removing her gaze from the hold he has on her, die from the words he speaks next.

‘are you sure it’s an ego thing?’

sooyoung’s responses stutter so deep she feels it in her chest. she’s not given time to recover because the smile shifts, brightens from how consuming and dizzying it had been to his regular mirth.

‘maybe it’s just your attention i like.’

she can’t handle this any easier, but she can breathe through it a little better. that’s the most familiar feeling she’s felt since the trip started. so familiar that all sooyoung can do is smile instead of give her usual fluter, and stumble. it’s automatic and she feels his fingers on her chin move as she does so. sooyoung finds her word, trips through them as their gazes remain locked.

“are you saying it’s not an ego thing?” ‘i’m saying - only you get to find out.’