#sonnari

Betrayed. Used. Worthless. Soojung felt it. All of it. Her mind was moving miles and miles per second over how stupid she felt. The entirety of her relationship felt like a lie. Fake. After all, how could it have been real? It was genuine for her but to her partner.. This was all like a stab to Soojung’s back. 

“You mean this entire time, you were with me because you ended up getting marked with my name as your soulmate?!” Soojung could feel tears running down her face. This whole time she firmly believed that Naeun was with her because she wanted to. Not because of what some machine told her. That Naeun loved her for her. “You said you never got marked when said we should be something more than friends. Why did you lie?!” She could feel herself shaking. She didn’t know if it was from anger or sadness. It all meshed together. 

“So now what? What am I supposed to do? Do you even actually love me? Was any of it even real?” The reality of her own questions were too much. She couldn’t take it. She wouldn’t. The truth was unbearable and she wasn’t going to stand for it. Without waiting for any sort of reply, she turned around and aggressively started walking away. Getting only a few feet far, Soojung felt something roughly grip her arm, immediately stopping her. 

“If someone had warned me I would end up here… I would still have chosen you. I’ll always choose you.”

And just like that, time stopped. The world seemed nonexistent. The only relevant thing was the hand holding onto her arm. The burning sensation it left from physical contact. In that brief moment, Soojung forgot what she was mad about and reveled in the feeling. She should have been fuming with rage but her resolve was never strong with Naeun. Taking in a deep breath, Soojung turned around. She tried to push away any trace of hurt and focused on being a little more sensible on handling the truth. She let out a sigh and let Naeun’s words sink it. Try as she might, Soojung couldn’t find and dishonesty in Naeun’s voice. It was pure. Genuine. With a small smile forming on her lips, she lifted up her hand and gently caressed Naeun’s cheek. 

【@sonnari】➼ ( “DEAR…” ) ; not accepting!

Dear Marshall,

  We’ve known each other for a little while now, but you have quickly become someone who I’m able to relate to on a lot of things. I honestly think I’d go to you first if I had something to spazz about. Out of all things, I think that’s what we do best? I think so. Honestly, I remember meeting and were kind of awkward at first, but I think because we are both strong-minded people we were able to get along well. We have strong opinions about various life experiences and it’s best to have to that kind of mind, right? And you’re also this kind soul which has mesh pretty well. I also think you should finish How I Met Your Mother because it’s the greatest show ever known to man, besides Friends, of course. You are my Marshall after all.   Unnie, thank you for being there whenever I’m about to go nuts, and I’m grateful that after all this time you still think I’m a pretty decent kid. I hope that we continue to become even better friends and know that I’m always here for you to bother whenever you’re feeling those feels! Don’t ever let anyone bring you down and always stay true to you.   I honestly, truthfully, did not know what to write because honestly I would have written ‘I LOVE TO FANGIRL WITH YOU’ one hundred times. And I love you like a sister and I hope that we’ll make plenty more memories. I’m keeping you!

Soojung was sure. Oh she was sure that the name Naeun would be marked with was her name. She was so sure she didn’t bother to get marked herself. She just knew. And yet... She was wrong. She couldn’t process the thought. She had a clear cut picture of how this moment was supposed to go. Naeun was going to get marked just for kicks and then come out with her name on Naeun’s arm. And then the two would continue on their merry way and go out somewhere to celebrate something they knew they already were. It was never supposed to be this. Her Naeun belonged to someone else? Impossible. Just impossible. Soojung didn’t want to believe it. She couldn’t. 

“No... You’re lying. This isn’t a funny joke, Naeun. I don’t appreciate the humor.” Yes. It was a sick joke. It had to be. Soojung wouldn’t accept anything else. She tried to nervously laugh off the humorless joke and pulled on Naeun’s arm to confirm the joke. She turned Naeun’s arm over and Soojung swore her heart stopped. This couldn’t possibly be reality. There was no way. This was all one big nightmare, Soojung realized. All she had to do was wake herself up and then she’d find Naeun where she was supposed to be. Asleep with her in bed. Soojung frantically pinched herself but to no avail, she didn’t wake up. This was it. This was reality. Their reality. And just like that, her world shattered. Nothing mattered anymore. The one thing Soojung thought she did right in the world turned out to be one big lie. Feeling an overwhelming sadness and emptiness, Soojung fell to her knees, her face horrified. What was once her light was now her anguish. She felt cold. Cold and alone.

{ ❀–“That’s why you have my phone number right, Doojoon oppa?” The female spoke into the phone she held to her ear. Now that she and A-Pink were no longer under Cube, all she had now to communicate with her old labelmates was by phone. The male on the other line was calling her about how much Descendants of the Sun made him feel things and she just chuckled because she hadn’t be able to watch much of the show so she had no idea what he was talking about. “Even though I haven’t watched anything past the first episode, I feel like I’ve seen it all with all your updates.”

Her words were followed by a moment of silence on his end as he finally took the time to think about what he was actually doing – not that he hadn't known before, he just hadn't realized that he was, perhaps, ruining an absolutely wonderful show for the other. “Oh God, I'm sorry for all the spoilers. I just got really excited,” he said, although that wasn't exactly it. This would not be the first show he watched on his own, without sharing the experience with someone else, but the thing was that he felt like he needed to share these things with Naeun now more than ever, because he didn't get to make particularly many other memories with her anymore. “But at least now you know what everyone's talking about, right? ...And I doubt anybody else could make it sound as exciting as I do, at least.” A soft chuckle spilled from his lips, partially amused by his last statement, for he himself wasn't quite sure that was true, but to an equal part also sheepish, because all he could do was hope that he wasn't bothering the other too much.

Huffing at her best friend’s overly lame pun, she placed both her hands on Naeun’s shoulders and started to shake them. “This is serious, woman! Now’s not the time for your silly puns. Where. Did. All. My. Pasta. Go?!”

      “Noonie-yah! I think we made these too large. I mean, damn my mouth is big but it’s not Namjoo big! “