#somethinglost

Thank you for your lovely message! And thank you for reminding me that I need to read this, both for my own indulgence and for my thesis. Exciting!

Anyway, I do have my hands on two versions. Don’t worry about archive.org, they ask you to subscribe but it’s free and you can “borrow” the e-book for 14 days.

The Book of Hours: Love Poems to God, trans. by Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy (I personally like Barrows and Macy’s take on Rilke, though it’s a liberal one—I think they have a great writing-ear for rhythm and lightness.)

Today I feel defeated Realizing the depth of my love It started long before I thought Now so clear like a sharp shove

I’ve been knocked back several notches What I’d gained now lost I’ll have to regroup again This realization coming with a high cost

Tears falling down my face My heart welling with great pain Have to start at the beginning No faith that I will regain

When will this get easier When will I find my way Starting to feel hopeless This is a sick game that’s at play

Don’t see the light at the end Just darkness and gloom Mad at nay sayers Who say in time things will bloom

You’ll find something better You deserve all and more Just wait it out There’s something really special in store

I know I should believe Should brush everything off and go Look to a possibility of better But I can’t help but feel helpless of what’s in store

In my mind nothing can measure The connection one of a kind There is nothing better Only want to look to what’s behind

Smell of pine and fur trees Wind blown hair as sun sets low The rays burst down through the clouds Firewood and camping gear in tow

This trip that I am taking Is the one that we were meant to share Makes me think of what I’ve lost Hope waning inside me that you still care

Never felt so lost in moments Never felt so strong and free Those euphoric waves rise and simmer Almost bursting right up out of me

The time we spent together Were some of the best I recall The heartache I am feeling now At knowing you’re not there to catch my fall

Will these mountains make me stronger My heart lifting with each step I take I know this transformation Is a journey I alone must make