#solsticesystem1

Childhood? I hardly know her.

I’ve known that I’m a system for about two and a half years now. But I still wake up every day with tons of doubt and denial. Yesterday I was “re-diagnosed” with DID from my new therapist. It made me feel a little bit better waking up today.

Walking through the halls of school and recognizing unfamiliar faces. Faces of people who swear they know me but I don’t know them.

1. GUYS I CLEANED THE ROOM! *happy dance*

1. Therapist wants to do the dissociative table thing with me. I’m really nervous. He wants me to try it alone first which seems weird to me... isn’t it typically a thing you do with a therapist guiding you?

We tried that EMDR finger movement therapy thingy. Honestly it was a bit frightening and unnerving. It felt invasive, like my brain was being dug around in without my consent. Therapist said it was ok though, and he’s glad I was honest with him about how I thought it felt.

I want to write about my life but I just can’t remember any of it. I can’t even remember who I am today. Who am I?