#softmaxxing

What books do you recommend while I have this free trial membership?

My goals are:

Improved self-confidence

High self-esteem

Strong boundaries

High standards and accepting nothing less

Anything around manipulation and psychology (doesn't have to be inherently about women v.s. men either, it could be about cults, prison, etc)

Anything about dating

Self love while alone

*Gossip Girl intro voice*

Her Reawakening is inspired by my very own frontal lobe developing. Let's give it up for her! (applause emojis)

I've found myself in a life long rut. For some reason, I'd thought my life would magically take a u-turn and everything would work out in my favor without my having to work for it. I don't know what kind of delulu I was in but to my shock life doesn't work that way, and it's much harder without a plan.

So let me hold myself accountable here. My future self will definitely read this, and then I'll feel embarrassed about not having done a gotdam fuck thing.

It might have to do with the poison of Social Media which I am apparently very susceptible to, but I have this immense pressure and anxiety to be HER. I want to tear my skin off and put a new one on overnight and reawaken as Her, She. It's so frustrating not being able to do that. You know? Hehe...

I know I can become that version. And you can thinkpiece as much as you want on the dangers of women's toxic and impossible beauty standards on social media but I don't care. *laughs evilly* This is the world we live in and I'd rather enjoy the benefits of being an Angel on Earth. I've only just accepted that I'm starting at a certain point to reach my ideal version, so we're off to a good start. Hopefully whoever reads this will be able to learn from my experiences.

And this is not just the embodiment of beauty, but physical excellence, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, spirituality, social experiences, academic achievement, financial stability etc etc. <3

I want to sleep like a baby knowing I am doing my best to create the life I ENJOY living. I want to be the cuntiest, most solid version of myself. Every breath I take will be proud of me just because I am so excellent.

I have a few goals in mind at the moment.

Eat whole foods 95% of the time.

I am a particularly sensitive person, inside and out. My organs won't accept heavily processed food without making me feel sick, especially with gluten and dairy included. In my experience I have to eat as close to Whole as I can so I will actually feel like a real and functional person. To put this in perspective, eating this way for me is like putting the most expensive oil made for your car and also deep cleaning and detailing inside and out and getting brand new tires and a new paint job. It is a truly incredible feeling and I highly recommend anyone tries it out.

Also, cut out caffeine. I don't want to shock my poor body by going cold turkey so I'm going to slowly cut down my dosages everyday, take it early in the morning (but after two hours of being awake) and drink a lot water with it as well.

Green juices are amazing and my go to for breakfast. They help me feel so revitalized and give me a serious buzz.

I will grocery shop on Wednesday and Prep on Thursdays to avoid feeling overwhelmed of doing it all in one day.

2. Exercise regularly

Workout out 4/wk and Yoga 3/wk

I'm starting out with running since I'm not familiar with the proper forms you need for weight training. I add progression to my workouts of course, one minute longer, .5 miles longer, etc. I also do stair masters, and some leg machines that don't scare me. The glow I get from combining exercise and eating well is insane. It does take a week of 100% commitment for me to get to this 'candlelit within look' but I've done it before so I know I can do it again! I'm going to work out Mon/Tue and Fri/Sat and do an hour of yoga Wed/Thur/Sun! :)

3. Gua Sha/Face massage

I hold all of my tension in my face and traps, so I plan on getting masseter botox for a softer face and TMJ, which is a huge pain for my jaw! In the meantime I will face massage deeply every other day, at 8PM. I eventually want forehead botox as well to help with my frown lines. As an alternative I stick with forehead stickies and it makes a difference.

This is all I want to incorporate right now. They are my most bother some insecurities so I'll do myself the favor and create habits that support them :) I don't want to overwhelm myself and give up completely by too many goals.

Cheers to an update by next Monday!

The foundation of my body is breath. Meditation is great, but combining movement with a deep and steady breath is revitalizing. I feel stronger, calmer, and more confident after trusting my body to hold a deep pose. And I end it with the posture of a ballerina (at least that's what I feel like)... it makes me feel elegant! I highly recommend 10 minutes daily!

I have so much work to do today, but first... SPA! At home spa that is, I need those relaxing luxurious vibes that I see on Tiktok. One of my favorite accounts that does this: https://www.tiktok.com/@lilityousefian/video/7360170733881937194?lang=en

I ordered a fluffy bathrobe and satin mask along with a much needed hair oil. I WILL be achieving this aesthetic >:)

Tonight looks like:

-30 minute walk with a language learning podcast, to help digest my dinner

-Quick meal prep

-An everything shower, includes shaving and exfoliation

-rough dry hair then prep for a blowout

-put away all my laundry...

-Put together a list for cherry perfumes I'm going to try tomorrow. Any recommendations? I'm looking for something that is smoky and cherry-ish. Something seductive (but not super slutty).

I love a little spa night. It makes me feel like an original Victoria's Secret Angel.

Much Love Earth Angels