#softabomination

mmm it’s hard to think of anything in specific — i’m not a very picky eater but i don’t enjoy weird combinations as my boyfriend somethimes does. i guess since i was a kid going to birthday parties i loved to mix salty & sweet, i.e. eating crisps and m&ms simultaneously, but i don’t think that’s too weird or unappealing?

17: i am a hoe for the wizard howl pendragon / “exploring a castle that may or may not have vampires” aesthetic, like: tight black pants and nonchalantly half-unbuttoned flowy shirts and smeared dark makeup… but also… historical clothing in general? a Look. 

in realistic modern-day terms, i love a leather jacket+crisp white tee+simple jeans on guys and punk-inspired miniskirt looks on girls (i apparently just like leather…? lmao) but tbh i don’t really notice clothes so much as the person wearing them!

42. lying dramatically over the sofa, i do that literally all the time :’)

moment’s silence - what do you find beautiful about the situation you’re in now?

the poetic familiarity of having managed to return to somewhere that feels so familiar and like home, and at the same time struggling with the language and knowing i am still a foreigner, as i shall be wherever i go: i have no family or history in the country i was born in, the country where i grew up always called me a stranger, and here, in lithuania, despite having half of my blood hail from this land, i am so far removed from the sociopolitical reality here and i don’t align with the hypernationalistic mindset, not to mention i can barely speak any lithuanian. nevertheless, these are words that echoed around me since birth, foods i only ever had at home, with my family, all around me, sights i saw three or four times before but are so deeply engraved within me as a place of belonging. and snow — i was born on the snowiest, coldest day of the year, but i have barely seen it throughout my life, and it’s helped me rediscover a sense of naive childlike awe and joy at seeing something new.

i don’t want to live in lithuania. i cannot stake my claim to my lithuanian heritage when i have always been so far removed from it. but i am grateful for the fact that i feel so much less alone because of the echoes of my family i see all around me.

wafer: what kind of music manages to totally transport you somewhere else?

i’m sorry but this just brought to mind that tweet that was like “music really can transport you to other places...... for example this café is playing meghan trainor songs so now i’m going to another café”

in all seriousness? i almost said hozier but he doesn’t so much transport me elsewhere as make me look within. i suppose there are a lot of fantasy movie soundtracks and enya songs that are perfect when i want to daydream of elven woodlands.

thumbprint cookies: what’s your favorite fairytale?

east of the sun, west of the moon, i should think. though it is very hard to play favourites.

thank you for asking, darling!

mushroom: who is the last person you spoke on the phone with?

my mother — video call, actually, and more of a casual hangout while she worked and i dealt with emails. my father was also there, albeit out of frame. perhaps our dog was there too, sometimes she goes up to the camera when she hears my voice.

moss: who is your favourite superhero?

i’m not too fond of superheroes, admittedly; of the modern MCU crop, probably thor. in general? the characters of vicious by v. e. schwab. hardly morally pure heroes by the classical definition, but definitely fascinating!

poison ivy: three things you’re afraid of?

death of a loved one, the nuclear power plant of uncertain safety standards being inaugurated soon mere kilometers away from where i will be for the next six months, heights.

thank you for the entertainment, darling!

crimson - what was an event that’s shaped you to be who you are today?

having decided to go to university in the mainland, and having to live alone. i grew up very fast in these last four years, but i also let precious parts of me rot away in the process.

melon - do you like to dance?

yes, but i do not do it often.

lavender - what is your favourite time of day?

dusk and dawn, just before sunrise or right after sunset, the barest hints of gleaming gold seeping onto powder-blue skies. it’s peaceful then, like the world comes to a hushed standstill, particularly very early in the morning when the bothersome noise of people hasn’t started and the day is still ahead of you, ripe with possibility.

jarilo: the spring came and with it the memories - which spring do you remember best and why?

mm. i remember many springs with fondness, truth be told. and yet, one springs (unintentional pun, i promise) to mind, of when i was fourteen, i think, and the world was wet with dew, all soaked with porcelain-blues and embroidery-floss reds and the warm honey smell of beeswax candles. i grew basil and i danced and i wore necklaces of amber as prayer beads, and every night i lit a fire and refreshed the water for the lady of the wells and the smiths and the poets. i offered and drank milk mixed with honey and vanilla, nutmeg, cinnamon and a splash of rum i sneaked out of our almost-never-used drink cabinet. i was clumsy, i broke offering plates, i filled rooms with candle smoke and fretted over whether my parents would question me. i wrote poetry, and i fell in love with a girl for the first time, and i started reading tarot, and i clutched all these beginnings tight to my chest like secrets, afraid to let the world spoil them for the time being.

mokosh: a plant grows on your grave after you die, carrying a piece of your soul - what plant would it be?

i hope it will be a tree that bears fruit. a cherry tree perhaps. my name does after all mean bird cherry tree, and i love cherries enough to eat them to death, so perhaps it would even sprout naturally, ha. trees are wise in incomprehensible ways, ways i would wish to become, in another life.