#soft joon

The sun and wind kissed your cheeks and you closed your eyes to embrace them, delighting your senses with the content glee of the mockingbirds. Stepping outside, quietly but hurriedly you advanced towards the River. Carefully accommodating your kimono, you sat by the River bank and watched the koi fish and the carps dance on the water, beautifully framed by the stars and galaxies underneath them. The sun was high and you closed your eyes, letting yourself get lost on the warm it provided you, letting your body relax from the pressure your duties.

Behind the bright orange of your closed lids the image of a mellow smile appeared whispering sweet words that you couldn’t hear and embracing you in mellow arms that you couldn’t feel…

Baa! Baa!

You opened your eyes with the sound of bleats involving the opposite side of the River.

Baa! Baa!

A small lamb, pure and white made it to the other side of the stream, cautiously approximating the water to take a sip. Some stray sheep watching closely from the distance, as if they were taking care the little infant didn’t hurt itself fell into the River. You got up, tip toeing to see if you could catch a better sight of the livestock, moving your head sinuously full of curiosity. Surrounded by the soft cotton mammals a tall and slender male figure stood, moving a staff full of bells to call out his animal companions and keep them close to you. You couldn’t even distinguish his face but your heart still skipped a beat. Who else could it be, radiating an aura of kindness even from the huge distance between them.

“NAMJOON-AH!” You screamed as loud as you could, bouncing up and down and weaving your arms excitedly.

He jolted on his place, shocked by the volume of your voice and turning around to spot you on the other side. It seemed difficult though, due to his bad sight but even so, he smiles. For you too, was difficult to see his face but your heart was still filled with butterflies and cotton as if he was right in front of you. There were he was standing he stuck his arms up, in a robotic like movement, to then bend his elbows and wrists until his fingers brushed against his coal black hair, making a heart shape. And then your world turned bright pink, the birds seemed to sing louder, the grass greener, the sparkle of the water brighter. Somehow, he felt embarrassed of himself and hid his flushed face with his hands, making you laugh.

Filled with excitement you take a few steps forward to notice a moist sensation on you feet. Taking a step back you looked down at the River that now seemed to be looking at you sternly and threatenly back at you, with his pitch dark depths full of galaxies reminding you of the consequences of trying to cross it.

“LET’S DO OUR BEST!” a scream with Namjoon voice assured you making the bells ring soon after. When you looked all you could see was his wide back and his staff ringing and calling his sheeps back to him. You took a last glance at the River and then at the marching silhouette of Namjoon leaving in the distance with a heavy feeling in your heart. “Yes, I’ll do my best!” you repeated, slapping your cheeks with both of your hands to bring you heart back into its senses. Confidently now, you climb up the little hill back to the weaving room, after taking a last glimpse at the figure that now was only a dot, leaving further away out of your reach.

You enter your room, now more assured on yourself. If you couldn’t finish this you wouldn’t be able to see him in another whole year. There was no way you were going to let that happen. You sat down in front of the weaver and took the beater with a new found confidence. Looking back at the open frame of the shouji, the color of the sky told you the dawn was near. The time was limited but you were going to make it. You had to make it.

Letting the beater up again, you leaned back, to look at the result of your work with a wide smile plastered on you face, with a quick movement, you finished the fabric and carefully placed it on the hanger. The sun was at it’s lowest point, you had to hurry up. Messily taking a lantern from a wall hanger near the door you passed through the open frame of the shouji one more time, heading towards the River again. But now with a different kind of urgency.

By the time you arrived to the River the sun had already set and timid stars twinkled next to the Great Bear. Through the darkness you spotted a dark figure approach the other side of the shore.

Loud squawks came from above, where a flock of cranes gracefully advanced towards the River. You’ve seen this several times before but seeing them revolt around themselves illuminated by the starlight emanating from the stars on the River was still captivating. Before your eyes the beating of wings started shining. With a sparkling aura the birds started conjoining and fusing to become a shiny silvery bridge that connected you with your loved one at the other side of the River. Without noticing your feet started running across the bridge high speed where Namjoon waited for you with his arms open. Once there you jumped on his arms and he hold you tightly spinning you around until he loses equilibrium and you both fall on the ground.

Instead of being angry, you both laugh whole heartedly while laying on the stiff pebbles still near the edge of the River. You could feel a stinging pain on your knee but as for now it didn’t really matter. Climbing on top of Namjoon you took both his cheeks, he smiled then making the cavities of his dimples appear, which you stroked lovingly, then started casting tiny peeks all over his face. He placed his hand on the sides and caressed your cheeks with his thumb. You looked at each other in the eye and didn’t say anything. There was no need for words. Just staring at each other was enough to convey the emotions you were feeling. He leaned in, brushing your lips with his soft ones.

“I need to show you something.” He says, carefully whispering over your lips while incorporating himself, signaling you to get up.

You walk a long path, hand in hand. Namjoon talked about the newborn lambs, and how he cried when they born because he felt so overwhelmed with the light of life and being able to presence it. And you ranted a bit about how boring living in palace was, but you found an amazing place to see the stars at night, and how you were scolded by some maids that caught you sneaking out late at night. Soon you found a small hill, not far from the River and Namjoon indicated to climb up. You had trouble doing so, but it was difficult to do so with the kimono you wore so he picked you up, sneakily casting a peek on your cheek. It was fun and romantic for a while but almost near the end. He kneeled on the floor facing down seemingly in defeat.

“Arrg! I just wanted to make something special for once.” he muttered. You, laying a few centimetres next to him, were laughing loudly. Namjoon looked at you with an slight annoyance on his face, then soon fades to complete tenderness at your wrinkled and distorted laughing face. “Give me some slack, will you?”

“Oh, but look…” you said, pointing to the starry sky. “Isn’t this romantic though?”

He lied next to you while you pointed every single constellation you could name, and teaching him new ones you learned during the year you were apart. Accordingly, he pointed some of the ones he remembered were your more dear ones. Time passed by so fast, you completely forgot you were supposed to be separated with the blossoming of the morning glories. You left a loud squeal when you saw a contrasting bright line of light on the horizon.

“The cranes, will leave soon! I have to come back quickly” you exclaimed, getting up as fast as you could, pulling your kimono and taking off your sandals to advance down the hill as fast as you could. Namjoon followed you from behind, having slight trouble catching up with you.

Once you were by the shining bridge on the bank of the river, you looked back at Namjoon, for the first time, trying you best to hold back your tears. You opened you mouth to say something but you knew if you spoke, your tears would shamefully run down your face so you said nothing. You two, promised the farewells wouldn’t be bitter or sad, that you would say goodbye to each other with a smile on your faces, but with each year it was becoming more and more difficult and your heart more and more aching.

He understood you and didn’t utter a word. He took your hand with both of his and placed something on your hand, kissing you in the forehead.

“Now part of me will always be with you.” When you opened your hand, there was a shining bell in it. “The sun is about to rise.”He reminded you, with a tender smile on his face. “See you next time.”

You smiled to him one last time, squeezing the little bell close to your heart. With a last look to the horizon where the sun was peeking impatiently, you run across the river, where inevitably the tears you been holding were released.