#soft changbin

It was a regular practice day. Sweaty, loud, exhausting.

Han was goofing off during the cooldown stretches, Hyunjin pretending to be annoyed while hiding a grin. Minho was unusually focused probably because he had a bet going with Jeongin about who would mess up first during recording. Changbin is busy talking how he absolutely nailing his leg days. Felix handed you your water bottle like always, his smile calm and grounding.

And for a moment, things felt normal.

Your phone buzzed. You ignored it at first, expecting a delivery update or maybe a company group text. But then it buzzed again. And again.

You checked the screen.

Three missed calls from your cousin.

Then a message:

"Please call me. It’s about Halmoni."

Your stomach dropped.

Without a word, you stepped out into the hallway, fingers trembling as you pressed the call button. The ringtone barely rang once.

“Hello?”

There was a shaky breath on the other end. you keep on waiting for the words to come but it nearly 5 minutes later when-

“She’s gone.”

The world cracked.

You didn’t hear the rest, something about how peaceful it was, how she waited until everyone left the room like she didn’t want to be watched. All you could hear was your own heart pounding, and a sound you didn’t recognize at first.

A sob. Yours.

Your phone slipped from your hand, clattering to the ground. You slumped against the studio wall, curling in on yourself like maybe if you got small enough, the pain wouldn’t find you.

Inside, the boys were chatting lightly while cooling down when Seungmin looked toward the door.

“She’s been out there for a while.”

Felix was already walking toward it. “I’ll check—”

He stopped short as he opened the door.

You were sitting on the floor, unmoving, arms wrapped around yourself, your chest rising in silent heaves. Your phone lay face-down nearby.

“Hyung—!” Felix’s voice cracked as he turned back toward the others.

The rest of them rushed out.

Minho was the first to kneel next to you, slowly, not touching yet. “Y/N?” His voice was gentle.

You couldn’t answer.

Chan crouched next, eyes scanning your face. “Talk to us. What happened?”

It took every ounce of breath to speak. You barely recognized your own voice. Your hand is shaky, your eyes is blurry, you feel like you on the edge of throwing up.

“Sh...She’s gone...."

They look at you in confused before Hyunjin slowly hold onto your shoulder, letting him looking at your soaking-wet face.

"Hey, take a deep breath. Slowly. Who's gone, Y/Nnie?"

You take a deep breath even though it feels like there's a deep nails and screws inside your lungs. Your bloodshot eyes looking at him with tears falling like a flood.

"My.... grandmother.”

Silence. Thick and heavy.

Then you fell forward, and Hyunjin caught you.

You sobbed into his chest, your hands gripping the fabric of his shirt. His arms held you like he’d never let go. You felt someone kneel beside you, Changbin. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders, warm and steady, like a human anchor.

Felix was on your other side, whispering, “It’s okay, cry, we’re here,” over and over like a mantra.

Seungmin gently picked up your phone and placed it in your bag. Jeongin stood behind, biting his lip hard, eyes glassy.

Chan stayed crouched, watching it all, his face unreadable. Then he stood, clapped his hands once, and said firmly, “Practice is over. We’re going home.”

You shook your head, panic cutting through the fog. “I—I don’t want to go back to the dorm—”

“Not the dorm,” Chan said softly. “Home. My place. We’ll go together. You’re not being alone tonight.”

---

They brought you to Chan’s apartment.

It was quiet, safe. The kind of silence that didn’t demand anything of you.

Minho tucked you into the couch with a blanket before you even had to ask. Jeongin brought you a hoodie, his own when you started shivering. Felix sat on the floor in front of you, hands resting gently on your knees, grounding you.

No one rushed you. No one filled the space with empty words.

When you started crying again, you tried to apologize.

Han shook his head and hugged you tighter. “Don’t. Please don’t. You don’t have to be okay.”

If only not, it sounds like he's also in a deep sorrow like you as if he can feel the pain of losing someone. Which he did.

Bang Chan brought you warm tea, sitting nearby like a quiet guardian. His voice, when he finally spoke, was soft but firm.

“You don’t have to talk now. But we’re not going anywhere. Sleep here. Stay as long as you want. Take all the time you need.”

You didn’t respond. You couldn’t. But you nodded.

And when you finally fell asleep, it was with your head resting on someone’s shoulder, the others nearby like a wall holding you up.

The next morning, you didn’t eat much.

You tried. But the moment food touched your lips, your throat closed up. It felt wrong to be hungry. To be normal.

They didn’t force you. Minho just left a plate nearby. Seungmin sat beside you, talking softly about a cat video he’d seen. Not loud enough to demand your laughter but just enough to remind you that the world still had small, warm things.

Later that afternoon, you found a note on the table in Felix’s handwriting:

“You don’t have to shine every day. But even stars need rest to keep glowing. We’ll wait for you.”

You cried again.

But this time, it didn’t feel like shattering.

It felt like healing.

A few days later, you found yourself sitting in the corner of the practice studio.

You weren’t ready to join. But you watched.

Han flailed dramatically during warm-up. Minho rolled his eyes but smiled. Jeongin made a goofy face at you. Seungmin looked over his shoulder and nodded toward the empty spot next to him.

“Come on,” he mouthed.

You hesitated. Then Chan offered his hand.

You stood.

The music started again. You weren’t perfect, actually far from it. You missed steps. Forgot moves.

But the boys adjusted their pace to you. They laughed when you tripped. Cheered when you hit a move right.

You were dancing again. Not for perfection.

But for her.

For you.

And for the people who refused to let you fall.

Credit tag: @cafekitsune

The old gymnasium was prettier than you'd ever seen it. Music filtered to each corner and lights danced across your skin. Changbin smiled sweetly at you, holding your waist from six inches away while you held his shoulders.

"This isn't middle school anymore," Changbin laughed. "We can dance closer."

You were biting your lip and looking down, focused on not stepping on his feet in your heels. One wrong move, and he could end up with a broken toe.

"Hey (Y/N)?" Changbin repeated, dragging your attention to his amused smirk. "You okay?"

You nodded and looked back down, too worried about misstepping to engage in conversation, but when a clumsy couple behind you ran into your back, all of the care in the world couldn't stop your heel from smashing his toes as you crashed into his chest.

Changbin caught you with careful hands on your back and you rushed out apologies while steadying yourself. He laughed when you tried to pull away, seemingly unbothered by what had happened.

"Will you let me hold you now?" he teased, still keeping you close.

You blushed and nodded as you ran your fingers across his broad shoulders to loop them around his neck. The music was a slow and steady ballad, and you followed his lead as he swayed and hummed. You could barely make eye contact standing so close and kept averting your gaze towards the bleachers or punch bowl.

"You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you," Changbin sang along playfully.

You smiled a little, but once again found yourself nervous when he looked at you. It was suffocating to be so close to someone so perfect.

"But if you feel like I feel," he continued in a teasing baritone. "Please let me know that it's real. You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you."

The thought had just crossed your mind to lean on his shoulder when the music picked up and Changbin suddenly twirled you away from him and spun you around. You giggled and grinned while watching him parade around like the leader of a marching band to the beat of the song, and just before the words began again, he pulled you back into his chest.

"Missed that pretty smile of yours," he complimented as his hand ran down your sides to your back. "You're being so quiet tonight"

You wished you could give a reason for it or say anything at all, but you were sure that if you spoke even a single word, all your feelings would come bursting out. So, instead of speaking, you rested your cheek against his shoulder and hummed contentedly. You'd always felt comfortable around Changbin and didn't want these weird confusing flutters in your heart to mess that up.

He sighed happily and rested his cheek against your forehead. "It's nice holding you like this," he murmured.

You agreed but didn't know how to tell him, so you stayed still, letting him slow dance with you even when faster songs began playing. You felt heated wherever his body touched yours. Your chest ached for every breath that his pecs would brush your breasts. You tried to urge his hands to explore using the power of your mind, but realized quickly that it was fruitless. Changbin respected you...of course, he wouldn't squeeze your bum in public.

You raised your head a little, wondering if he was feeling the same things you were.

"What is it?" he asked with a crease in his brow. You'd just opened your mouth to speak when the music was cut and the principal stepped on stage.

"How is everyone doing tonight?" he began as people clapped and hollered. Changbin separated from you to face the stage, but you noticed his hand lingered on your side. "One of the most anticipated parts of prom is the recognition of a Prom King and Queen."

You could feel your heart race beneath your chest. You knew what name you'd selected and glanced at Changbin who smiled back at you.

"These students have been chosen by their peers for their kindness, their humility, and their representation of their school in and out of the halls. At this time, it is my honor to announce your prom King and Queen as..." he pauses to allow the students to create a drum roll in anticipation. "Seo Changbin and Lee Ji-eun!"

Changbin hugged you as everyone cheered, and you squeezed him back proudly before releasing him to receive his crown. He looked so excited that you found yourself crying happily for him.

"And now the royal dance," the principal announced.

You'd forgotten about this when you voted for him and Changbin bowed jokingly to Ji-eun before taking her hand and guiding her to the dance floor.

Some cheesy John Legend song began playing, and you bit your cheek to hold back your tears at the sight of them. He whispered something to her and she smiled before replying with something else that made him laugh.

When the song ended he kissed her hand as a real king would and stepped through the crowd to walk back to you. You smiled in pain and reached for him.

"Congratulations," you sniffed.

"Those aren't happy tears?" he questioned as he wiped your cheeks with a frown.

"They are," you lied through a voice crack.

Changbin pouted and cupped your face, bringing you close. "(Y/N), I know all of your looks, all your laughs, all your smiles, and all your cries. These are not happy tears. What's wrong?"

You felt selfish for ruining his moment with sobs that could amount to nothing more than heartbreak. Even so, your mouth was moving before your brain could stop it. "I was jealous."

Changbin looked behind him at Ji-eun and back to you. "Jealous? Did you want to win, too?" he pondered.

"No," you croaked out. The last thing you'd ever want is to stand on a stage in front of hundreds of people to be judged and assessed by all of their stares.

Changbin's eyes softened and his head tilted curiously. "Were you jealous of our dance?"

You felt sick to your stomach at the thought of admitting something so stupid. You stared at the ground and nodded, unable to speak the confirmation into the world. His finger came out to lift your chin, demanding you look at him.

"You have nothing to be jealous of," he promised, his voice low and lips close. The words danced across your skin, and you closed your eyes to savor the lingering feeling, assuming it was all you deserved. "You're all I want."

His lips pressed to yours before you could reply...before you could let the words and their meaning sink in to give you that warm and fuzzy feeling you always felt around Changbin. All of the heat you felt for him before was amplified. You pressed your hands to his chest, gripping the lapel of his tux as he threaded his fingers through your hair. You were desperate to stay close and moaned while sinking closer, unknowingly pushing him back against a wall. Changbin hummed and yanked you in by your waist, pinching your hips in his stronger grasp.

When you came up for air, you were acutely aware of the fact that you were still in the school gym. As you turned around, you noticed more than a few chaperones seemed to be on their way to scold you for the public display of affection and a few students snickered behind glasses of punch at your lack of self-control.

Changbin's hands held you from behind and he kissed your neck before whispering, "Let's go."

He held his hand out for you, and you took it, feeling a sense of pride in being held by him.

"Mr. Seo..." one of the teachers called, but you were already out the door.

"It's only 11," you realized when you settled into the familiarity of his car.

"What's your curfew?" he asked, knowing that you always had one thanks to strict parents who obsessed over true crime.

"1 am," you answered.

Changbin raised his brows as he started up the car. "How hard did you have to beg for that?"

You laughed and kissed his cheek simply because you could. "I didn't have to try that hard to have them raise it. It's prom, and they knew I was going with you. They trust you."

Changbin grinned at that fact and sped out of the parking lot. You had no idea where he was going but it didn't matter. If you were with him, you'd be safe.

It wasn't a surprise when he pulled up to his house. You'd been there hundreds of times and always loved how adoring and trusting his parents were. He parked and rounded the car to open the door for you, offering his hand to help you navigate the stone walkway.

Once the door opened, you realized right away how quiet it was. His parents who usually stayed up late to watch reruns of Friends were nowhere in sight.

"It's just us," you realized, swearing you could hear your voice echo in the entryway.

"My dad is gone on a work trip...my mom went with him," Changbin explained as he reached for you and pulled you close just as you'd been at the prom.

It was so new to be touched by him like this, and yet it felt surprisingly familiar. You flattened his suit and pressed your hands to his chest, thinking to yourself how handsome he looked. He'd always been handsome but you'd never seen him in a suit before. You could feel yourself blush as you considered what it would be like to see him without a suit.

He exhaled and drew your attention to his pursed lips. "It's a shame we didn't start kissing sooner," he sighed as he pressed a soft peck to your lips. "It's so nice."

Your cheeks flushed pink in agreement, and Changbin brushed his thumbs over your rosy skin. "I love that I always know what you're thinking," he murmured. "Even if you say nothing."

You felt naked. You always knew Changbin could read you clearer than anyone, but hearing him confess it was like being stripped bare and laid out for all to see.

"Like right now," he hummed as he brushed his fingers through your hair, pulling out a clip that had been digging into your scalp. You sighed in relief when your hair fell, moaned when his fingers massaged your hair, melting into his touch. "You've always been beautiful," he breathed. "But I especially like you like this."

"Dressed up?" you asked, fearing he'd wake up in the morning regretting kissing you when he saw you in your plain clothes again.

"No," he smirked with another kiss. "I like how comfortable you are with me. You're so guarded around everyone else...even your parents."

"Nobody else cares to try to get to know me," you admitted, watching the way his gaze turned pitiful.

"It's their loss," he whispered before his kisses became feverish. His hands became weights that held you against him, and you tugged him closer unwilling to separate even for air. You'd die without breath if it meant keeping his eager lips against yours.

The first slip of your hand landed your palm against his shirt, and you realized a shirt was so much nicer a thing to hold than a jacket. You shoved the tux from his shoulders, urging it to the ground so you could feel more of him. He let it fall behind him and gathered your hair to one shoulder. "Turn around," he whispered.

You listened, always trusting him, always knowing that whatever happened you'd be safe. Your dress had a slight open back and you felt his knuckles brush down your spine, making you arch in surprise.

His lips pressed a kiss to your shoulder. "We can always stop," he informed you as he pulled the zipper down. "We can redress and go get junk food or watch a movie like we usually do," he offered as he unclasped the halter neck sending your dress to the floor. "Or maybe we can try something new," he breathed as his arms wrapped around your waist before driving up to your chest.

He cupped your bare breasts for the first time, lingering only briefly before playfully squeezing you and lifting you out of your heels.

You squealed as he carried you to his room, giggling in shock when you felt the soft fur of his favorite blanket. You wrapped it around yourself, suddenly very aware you were nearly naked and he was not.

Changbin stepped out of his shoes and began unbuttoning his shirt. "You don't know how many times I've wished you were here...sitting just like that."

You could feel your eyes shining in admiration of him, but the idea of speaking your mind as transparently as he did left you thoughtless. You bit your lip and tightened the blanket around your shoulders.

He pulled off his shirt and then the undershirt. You eyed him hungrily with a fresh blush in your cheeks as he began undoing his belt. "I've never done this before," he warned you. "So I might not be very good at it."

"Me neither," you confessed just as his pants fell to the floor, making him your equal in clothes left. You each had just underwear waiting to be removed.

"I want to be good for you," Changbin answered while crawling to your side. "I've heard girls don't always cum their first time. But I want it to be as good for you as it is for me."

Your entire body burned at the thought...at the embarrassment of it all. Changbin would touch you...he'd be inside you, and you could possibly disappoint him by not finishing.

He urged the blanket out of your hands, draping it behind you so that you were once again exposed to him. "You're so soft," he praised before running his fingers over your nipples and watching them pebble.

You whined and moved closer, desperate for more gentle touches that left you tingling for him.

"I also heard it can hurt for girls," he frowned, his hand moving lower across your stomach. "I don't want it to hurt," he said in a low voice and he pressed his hand into your underwear.

"Bin," you whimpered, hips grinding his palm that cupped your center. He was the very first boy to touch you there, and it felt so different from what you thought. Changbin ran two fingers through your slick—two digits that felt as thick as four of yours.

You shamefully covered your face when he pushed them in, fighting the moans that threatened to spill by kissing and nibbling on his neck. As usual, Changbin was louder. He whimpered when you sucked his skin, when your cunt squeezed around his fingers as the pleasure built.

"Your body is even louder than the blush on your cheeks," he groaned, noticing (as always) your silent tells. "You seem to like it most when I..." he trailed off as he curled his fingers that were sunk deep inside you.

It was impossible to hide your whines now. They came as freely as thoughts appear in your head or clouds appear in the sky. You held Changbin's face, urging him closer, eyes pleading for his lips. Your lips moved slowly if not lazily together. He kissed you through desperate pants and continued when your waist began to grind against his hand.

He kissed you even as you released onto him, drowning his digits in the proof of your high before pulling them out and dragging your panties down your legs before settling his cock against your heat.

"Tell me if it hurts," he muttered as you ran your fingers through his hair and spread your legs a little wider.

You nodded and kissed his nose, feeling so perfectly euphoric after your first orgasm that nothing sounded better than a second.

"You're glowing, baby," he smirked when he realized how dazed you were.

"I'm happy," you confessed with uncharacteristically playful kisses to his cheeks.

"I'm happy too," he breathed as he sank in, stretching and filling you as the air filled with your moans.

You glanced between your bodies in surprise, curious as to what it would look like with him inside you. It was strange seeing your bodies so connected.

He pulled his hips back and thrust in again, this one feeling even better than the last. Your head fell back to the pillow and Changbin caged you in where you lay. You gazed up at him with loving, drunken eyes and twirled a piece of his hair around your finger when he stilled deep inside you.

"I've never seen you so out of your own mind before," he commented.

"I don't have to think in here with you," you confessed. "You do that for me."

Changbin's lips were soft against yours...they were patient but powerful. "That's right, baby. Just feel. I can take care of everything else," he vowed as his hips rolled forward and back, the closeness enough to have his name spilling from your lips as a second orgasm closed in. You felt his cock twitch against your walls and knew he was nearing his end too.

His eyes almost seemed to cross as he took in all of you...from your lips parting in needy sighs to your breasts shaking with every thrust...all the way up to your hands holding his biceps to ground yourself. It was a mental image he never wanted to forget and one he knew he'd be returning to every night until he died.

"I'm close," you squeaked out, eyes pinched shut as your brain took over and tried to close out the pleasure. Hold off it said. You look pathetic when you cum...grasping at his shoulders and making weird sounds.

"Finish for me, baby," Changbin urged, his voice hoarse and deep against your ear. "Look at me," he pleaded, the demand enough to pull you from your thoughts. "Cum with me," he begged as his pace became erratic. "I need you to..."

You pulled him in for a kiss as you gasped and came around his cock. You throbbed around him and clutched his shoulders as your body spasmed beneath his. Changbin pulled out and spilled onto your stomach and chest, his moans breathy and ticklish on your neck.

He collapsed on top of you, kissing your neck and shoulder and cheek before rolling to lay beside you where he eyed the mess proudly.

He looked dizzied and smiley when he met your euphoric, droopy eyes. "I have to get home," you yawned as you scooted closer, cuddling into his body like a blanket.

"I'll take care of that," he promised. "Why don't you go shower, and I'll take care of your parents?"

Normally, you'd never agree to such terms as your parents were so overprotective that they'd never let you have even an extra hour of curfew, but Changbin seemed confident that whatever he wanted to happen would happen.

You nodded sleepily and kissed him again. "Love you."

He smiled and kissed you back. "Love you too."

The words were common but meant something more now even if neither of you cared to have that conversation. You'd said them often as friends but knew you were beyond that title now.

You headed off to shower and heard Changbin reaching for his phone. You'd only just begun to shampoo your hair when he joined you and massaged your scalp while kissing your shoulder.

"You can stay with me tonight if you want."

You turned around in shock, almost slipping on the tile. "How?"

"I told them you fell asleep when we came back here to watch a movie. Apparently, they trust me more than we thought," he grinned as he stole some of the shampoo from your hair to wash his own.

Once your body was bathed, your hair brushed, and your mouth minty fresh, you dug through his drawers to find a t-shirt to wear and a pair of boxers to steal.

You looked so much different from the way you had when the evening began. The gown was gone and your hair was tangled. Your makeup had been removed, and you looked even plainer than you did on a normal day because at least on a normal day you had a little concealer to hide your faults.

Changbin had a side smile as he reached for you to bring you back to the bed and back to his arms. You snuggled against his chest, intent to hide in it when he once again tilted you to look at him. "I think this is my favorite version of you."

"Because I look so bad nobody else will try to steal me?" you frowned.

Changbin kissed your forehead. "No, you look beautiful just like you always do. But instead of just feeling comfortable with me, now you look like you're comfortable with yourself...even if your brain won't let you believe it yet."

You sit up straight.

Seo Changbin. From Stray Kids.

You’ve crossed paths dozens of times. Music shows. Award ceremonies. End of year festivals. Always polite bows. Always brief smiles.

You: oh my god. Dino gave me this number. i asked for mingyu’s Changbin: yeah i figured Changbin: he texted me earlier actually

You blink.

You: he what Changbin: said he might “accidentally improve my love life” today Changbin: i didn’t know what he meant until now

Your mouth falls open.

You: he did not Changbin: he absolutely did

You immediately open your other chat.

You: lee chan. Dinosaur: :) You: you sent me the wrong number on purpose Dinosaur: i sent you a better one

You groan and toss your phone onto the couch before picking it back up.

You: i’m so sorry. that’s actually insane behavior Changbin: it’s fine Changbin: i’m honored to be the upgraded option

You laugh despite yourself.

You: bold Changbin: i’ve been told

There’s a pause.

You could end it there. Apologize again. Ask for Mingyu’s actual contact.

Instead:

You: well since you’re here. do you actually know any producers good with live band elements? Changbin: depends. what kind of sound You: softer. warmer. less performance heavy.

Another pause. Then:

Changbin: i could help Changbin: if you want

You smile slowly at your screen.

You: modest of you Changbin: don’t expose me like that Changbin: yes i produce. a lot.

The conversation shifts easily after that.

You talk about chord progressions you’re tired of hearing. About layering vocals at 3 a.m. when everything feels more honest. About how exhausting it is to promote and create at the same time.

He’s thoughtful. Funnier than you expected. Blunt in a way that feels grounding.

At some point, you forget you were ever asking for Mingyu.

Across town, Changbin is staring at his phone like it might disappear.

He has liked you for years.

Not loudly. Not recklessly.

Just quietly.

The first time was at an award show rehearsal. You were sitting on the edge of the stage, legs swinging, arguing passionately about arrangement changes with your producer. No cameras. No performance face. Just you.

He noticed.

He always notices.

He never planned to do anything about it.

And now you’re texting him first.

Even if it was engineered by that little dinosaur of yours.

Two days later:

You: have you seen that new cafe near the sm building Changbin: the industrial one with the cube croissants You: YES You: i want to go but i refuse to look like i’m scouting for a dating show alone

He stares at the message for a full ten seconds before replying.

Changbin: we could go together Changbin: strictly for research

Your stomach flips.

You: obviously. professional croissant analysis only.

When you see him outside the cafe, hoodie and cap pulled low, you almost miss him.

He looks up.

Recognizes you instantly.

His eyes crinkle before the rest of his face does.

“Hey,” he says once you’re seated inside.

Up close, he feels different than he does on stage.

Softer around the edges. Warmer. His presence is steady instead of explosive.

“Sorry again about the number thing,” you say.

He shakes his head. “Best mistake that’s happened to me in a while.”

Your pulse stutters.

You talk easily. Like you’ve done this before.

He congratulates you on your last comeback and mentions a harmony switch in the second chorus of your b side.

“You noticed that?” you ask, surprised.

He shrugs, almost shy. “You stacked it differently the second time.”

You stare at him.

“You really listen,” you say.

He looks away first. “Of course I do.”

Something about the way he says it makes your chest tighten.

You watch him as he talks. The way his hands move when he explains production choices. The way he automatically grabs both trays without asking. The way he brushes powdered sugar off your sleeve before freezing like he overstepped.

“You’re cuter than people think,” you say without thinking.

He chokes on his coffee. “Cuter?”

“Yeah. You act tough. It’s fake.”

His ears turn red.

You feel it then.

The shift.

You fall harder.

Not in one dramatic moment. But in a series of small ones.

After that, you start texting him on purpose.

Good morning messages. Late night check ins when you know he’s still at the studio. Voice notes about random melody ideas.

You linger near his group’s waiting room at music shows just a little longer than necessary.

He pretends not to notice.

He notices everything.

One evening, after another shared schedule near the SM building, you text:

You: free Changbin: for you maybe

You grin at your phone.

You: confident Changbin: only sometimes

You meet again at the same cafe.

This time, it feels intentional.

You rest your chin in your hand as he talks about a track he scrapped because it did not feel honest enough.

“Can I ask you something,” you interrupt softly.

He nods.

“Have you ever liked someone in the industry.”

He goes still.

“Why.”

“Just curious.”

He hesitates.

“There was someone,” he admits quietly.

Your heart dips before you can stop it. “Oh.”

“For a long time.”

You force your expression neutral. “What happened.”

He looks directly at you.

“I didn’t think they would ever see me that way.”

Your breath catches.

“You don’t know that,” you say carefully.

He gives a small smile. “I do.”

You sit back, studying him.

Then you make a decision.

You slide your hand across the table. Close enough that your fingers almost touch his.

“What if,” you say softly, “they were just slow.”

He blinks.

“What if they meet you properly,” you continue, “and then they can’t stop thinking about you.”

Silence.

His gaze drops to your hand. Then back to your face.

“You’re very confident,” he says, voice lower now.

“Only when I want something.”

“And what do you want.”

You do not look away.

“You.”

The word hangs between you.

His composure cracks. A slow, disbelieving smile spreads across his face.

“You’re serious.”

“Very.”

He runs a hand through his hair, flustered. “You don’t even know me that well.”

“I know enough,” you say. “I know you listen closely. I know you care about details no one else hears. I know you get shy when complimented. I know you’ve been kind to me from the start.”

You lean forward slightly.

“And I know I’d like to keep seeing you. On purpose this time.”

He exhales like he has been holding it for years.

“I liked you first,” he admits.

Your eyebrows lift. “Oh.”

“For years.”

You stare at him. “Years.”

He nods, embarrassed but smiling.

A laugh bubbles out of you, half shocked, half delighted.

“Well,” you say lightly, finally letting your fingers lace with his, “I fell harder.”

His hand tightens around yours instinctively, like it belongs there.

“So what now,” he asks.

You shrug. “We keep getting coffee. We write together. We see what happens.”

He nods slowly.

“Okay,” he says.

No dramatic announcement. No promises carved in stone.

Just two idols sitting in a quiet cafe near a familiar building.

Hands intertwined.

Smiling like they both just won something they did not expect.

And this time, it was not a mistake at all.

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"shhh bun, you don't want the others to find out." Changbin smirked smugly at you, his cock drawing in and out of you slowly and teasingly.

You were perched on Changbin's lap, straddling him and cuddled up into his chest with a large fluffy blanket wrapped around the two of you.

To anyone that walked past, you looked like you had given up on the movie that was playing on the tv screen behind you and decided to fall asleep in Changbin's arms.

Little would they know, Changbin's cock was held snuggly inside your walls, while he tried to discreetly fuck up into you, hoping you would keep your promise of being quiet.

The dorm was full tonight, the rest of the boys doing their own thing in their rooms, but at any chance one of them could walk out into the living room and see you both, so you needed to keep up the façade.

"Y-you feel so good Binnie." You softly moaned into the crook of his neck, pressing kisses into the skin you could reach without moving out of the position you were in.

His cock was scraping your walls perfectly, sending tingles up your spine every time he shallowly pulled out and gently pushed back in.

Times like these were on the rarer side. Most of the time you and Changbin were frantic, passionate and desperate for one another, hard thrusts and loud moans, but today when he whispered into your ear he needed you, in such a soft whine, you knew exactly what he needed tonight.

Changbin's hands squeezed your ass gently as he lifted it pulling you further off his cock than you had been tonight and he let out a grunt as he pushed you slowly back down onto it.

The new sensation of his cock refilling you, had you pulsating around him, head snapping back out of the crook of his neck, but before you could let out the loud moan that was building in your throat, you thrashed your head forward biting onto the first thing you could.

Changbin let out a hiss as you took his bicep into your mouth, but you could tell he enjoyed the brief flash of pain as his cock twitched inside you and you knew he was close.

"Baby...I-I'm not gonna last." Changbin moaned quietly into the side of your face, his breath tickling the hairs above your ear and you could feel yourself becoming overwhelmed with how intimately he was fucking you.

The thought of the boys in the dorm washing away as you began to meet Changbin's short thrusts half way, chasing your high.

"I love you so much." You whispered breathily, as you gently bit into Changbin's bicep, trying to control the moans that were begging to be released.

Changbin felt his heart explode with fondness for you, his high approaching faster by your words. This was a whole other way of love making and he was definitely going to do this with you again.

"I love you too Bun." Changbin nuzzled his face against the side of yours bracing himself as his thrusts picked up speed slightly and you knew from the movements he was almost there.

His breaths coming out in long gasping like pants against your ear as you felt completely consumed by him, his scent suffocating you while it provided comfort.

You gripped onto Changbin tighter, nails digging into his back and your teeth biting down gently once more as you felt your high wash over you. Moans flowing from your lips, only to be muffled against his bicep as you twitched and shook on top of him.

Your orgasm was all Changbin needed to hold you down firmly against him as his cock pumped you full of his hot seed, deeply within your walls. Low breathy groans and grunts whispered straight into your ear, as he did his best to control his high.

Milking him of all he had, his thrusts slowed to a stop, but he didn't pull out of you, instead he wrapped his arms around you under the blanket, pulling you tighter against his chest, cock still held within you.

"I never want to be without you." He confessed voice full of emotion which had you pulling the top half of your body away from him to look into his eyes.

His eyes were filled to the brim with love and adoration for you, glistening and you could tell he was more affected than he'd ever been by tonight's events.

You reached up to caress his cheeks softly in your hands, leaning forward to rest your forehead against his and staring deeply into his eyes as your eyes mirrored back the emotion he gave you.

You placed a delicate kiss on his lips before you spoke against them a simple but heartfelt reply,

"You have me."

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Silence filled the too small room as Changbin stared unseeing at the wall behind his computer. It had been a stupid idea to come to the studio, but he needed a new outlet besides the gym or watching endless dramas. At this point he didn’t know what day of the week it was or what was on their schedule, and he was solely relying on Chan to tell him where he was supposed to be and what type of mood he was to be in. Maybe it was for the better to not have to think, to not have to put in effort to do anything but just exist, or maybe he was avoiding thinking because he knew that no matter what he thought, you were wrapped into everything he did.

The pounding at the gates started as soon as he entered the studio. It had been a week, or maybe more, since he had even ventured into the space, instead claiming a permanent spot in Chan’s room. However, due to his weekly schedule, Chan gave him the option to join his live stream or get out. Home wasn’t an option since most nights he found sleeping at the other dorm on the couch. No matter how many times he ran his sheets through the washer, there was still the lingering scent of your perfume. Every place he wanted to be, there were traces of you left behind.

All the memories he was collecting found themselves haunted and shoved into the closet.

Grounding himself back to reality, he forced himself to focus on the little task he assigned himself when he came into the room. Work on music. Create something. Create anything, even if it’s only five seconds. Maybe he would get used to this feeling, a hazy numbness doing activities that he used to do with you. A feeling that he wanted to drown out making music, throwing his everything into something that he knew he was good at. Fingers slowly opened the laptop, while a breath caught in his throat at the background. The photo captured you on his back while he was running down the beach, aiming to toss the both of you into the ocean as the sun shined down on the perfect day. It was the few days he got off and all the members agreed to take a weekend off and enjoy the beach, he immediately invited you to join and have some much-needed time together.

Cursing under his breath, he quickly adverted his eyes to anything else in his sight, catching on a mug that was half tucked behind a few other items on this desk. Slowly, he reached across everything, tugging gently on the handle wondering which member had left it there. Turning it in his hands, he noted the lipstick stain that was gradually fading as time went on. It was a shade he knew all too well, as it usually covered the lips that he used to call home. Memory after memory filled his head as he remembered all the late nights the two of you would be curled up in this room, giggling at the makeshift guide he had you do because he was too tired to do it himself. The nights when you’d sit with your legs tucked under you sipping tea or coffee as he wrote lyric after lyric about you and all the ways that he loved you.

Not once did he imagine that loving you would be the happiest he’d ever been.

The weight of the world came crashing into his chest, removing the remaining air from his lungs as the tears finally welled in his eyes, threatening to open the gates that he had spent time continuously reinforcing. If the gate he crafted broke open, he honestly didn’t think that he would be able to survive everything that would come rushing out. Shaky hands reached for him phone, knowing that he would need not only his hyungs but the rest of his members as well.

Countless thoughts continued to come and go as his mind shuffled tirelessly through the memories and moments of you. Stirring up events he hadn’t thought about in a year, because he didn’t think they would be anything more than a passing memory. What if he had taken a different road? Would things have ended the same? Would his heart still feel like it no amount of time would heal it? Never once did a life without you cross his mind when he held you in his arms falling asleep on the couch of the dorm after watching your favorite movie for some unknown time. No, instead he laid there thinking about how the two of you could grow old together, still as in love as he had been in that instant. His love for you had consumed him, his work, his heart because you were his everything.

Quietly, he pulled up the last session he had worked on with you, allowing it to be the only sound that filled the room. You had brought so much light and joy to his life that listening to this now, truly broke down the last piece of the door he used to box up the heartbreak he didn’t want to accept. A sob overpowered the music as he realized that you lingered in everything he did. Mixed emotions bubbled to the surface as rage quickly took over as he threw that stained mug at the wall before the air that filled his lungs was released as a scream. Maybe the ghost of you would eventually fade with time or maybe he’d always have this piece of you trailing after him, reminding him of what true happiness was.

Silence again filled the room as he paused the track, settling into staring at the new mark on the wall, waiting for his brothers to come and rescue him from the despair he felt himself falling into.

You were waiting for Changbin. It was already past 10 p.m. and to be honest you were quite sad. Chanbin promised you to come home earlier. At least he promised to try. Because of his busy schedule you two couldn't meet as often as you both wished. So of course you were sad that he was late. He didn't even text you to let you know he would come later. You just hoped that the food you cooked would still be good. You let out a little sigh and decided to watch a new episode of the drama you watched recently. You sat there for about twenty minutes when you finally heard the door to your apartment opening. Slowly you stood up and walked towards your front door. Changbin was already getting out of his shoes when he saw you.

"I'm sorry for being so late", he muttered and smileď at you. "Can you forgive Changbinnie?", he asked in a higher voice and touched his cheek with one finger, looking all cute. You nearly rolled your eyes but couldn't hold back your smile. You nodded softly after a moment, he then smiled wider and gave you a quick kiss on your cheek.

"Why are you late anyways? Didn't you say the filming would not take longer than 8 p.m.?", you asked, took his hand and slowly pulled him towards your living room.

"Oh Minho-Hyung kinda forced us all to eat together after the filming. You know it's been so long since we all ate together." You stopped in your tracks and stared at him. His eyes grew big, suddenly so sad. "Did I say something wrong?", he asked, stepping closer to you. You let out a little sigh.

"It's just that I cooked for us", you explained with a little pout on your lips. For a second Changbin stayed silent, rubbing his tummy.

"You know I wasn't really hungry when we ate earlier so I didn't eat much. But I'm kinda hungry now", he explained.

"Oh really?", you asked happily. When he nodded, you pulled him again towards your living room. "Sit-down I will get the food. What do you want to drink?" While Changbin got himself comfortable and you grabbed the dishes you made.

"Do you still have soju and beer?"

After you placed everything on the table you sat down next to Changbin, your back against the sofa. While he poured the soju and beer into his glass, you placed some of the meat you cooked on his rice. With a big smile he turned his face towards you.

"Love you. Thanks for making dinner", he whispered and then gave you a soft kiss on the lips.

"I love you too", you whispered, while you brushed through his hair. "And now eat." For the next few minutes you two ate silently. All you heard from time to time was a little hum or a small huff. Because you tasted the food you made several times before you stopped eating after a while, you felt full and watched Changbin eat instead. With his cheeks full of food he looked so cute, you couldn't hold back a smile and carried his cheek for a moment.

"Do you like it?", you asked shyly. With red ears he nodded.

"It tastes amazing, jagi", he mumbled, giving you a soft smile. Happy with his answer you started to side hug him, your head on his broad shoulder. You started to play with his hair softly while you continued to watch the episode you started earlier.

"Can you let me be for a moment? It's warm. I want to take my hoodie off", Changbin said after a while. With a big pout on your lips he drew back a bit and watched how Changbin pulled the hoodie over his head. Doing so he also pulled the shirt underneath up a bit, revealing a very full looking tummy. It was sticking out a bit and looked all packed. It looked like Changbin himself didn't even realise that his tummy was exposed for a moment. With a soft smile you closed the distance between you two again, while Changbin took a big sip of his drink. He let out a little huff when he placed down the empty glass. Slowly your one hand travelled from his broad shoulder, over his chest but then stopped before you went down to his tummy. You could feel his glance at you so you returned it slowly. He looked at you with big eyes waiting for your next action.

"Can I?", you asked, sending a short look towards his tummy. The next second he escaped your glance and started to laugh while he hid his face behind his hands.

"If you want to", he whispered but still couldn't look you in the eyes.

Slowly your hand wandered lower and was now laying on his bloated tummy. Smoothly you rubbed his tummy in small circles which made Changbin sigh in pleasure. He pulled you closer to him, hugging you with one arm. It made you feel all warm and safe.

"Your tummy looks so tight", you giggled, patting it lightly. You heard a low groan from Changbin.

"God this is so embarrassing", he muttered under his breath, blushing like crazy.

"Why should it be?", you asked, caring and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. "I think you look extremely cute and you were so happy while eating." You now stroked soft circles around his navel, smiling at him as he finally found your glance again.

"You think so?", he asked surprised.

"Excuse me? Of course! Do you even know how attractive you look right now? How lovable?" He started to laugh and tried to escape by hiding in the crook of your neck.

"What are you doing to me?", he whined, while he pulled you even closer to him. With a small smile on your lips, you placed a kiss on his red ears.

"I just give you all the love you deserve." Hearing these words, he drew back a bit and connected your lips with his. His lips were warm and pressed softly against yours. You could taste the beer he drank a bit but it didn't bother you that much. When his lips left, you slowly opened your eyes again and met his eyes. He stroked over your cheek lightly and then ate the chicken and rice that was left on his bowl.

"That was really good, jagi. But I ate way to much", he muttered laughing at the end and patted his own bloated tummy.

"I'm happy you liked it", you whispered. "You have such a sweet little tummy right now."

Looking down at his sweet little bloated tummy he let out a sigh.

"Hannie will tease me when we get to the gym tomorrow. I can already hear him.", Changbin whined and showed you a big pout.

"Naww I kinda want to see that to be honest", you replied laughing.

"Of course you would", he muttered but then started to laugh too. "You are unbelievable."

"That's my you love me."

"Yes I do."

"Can we go cuddle in bed?", Changbin asked after a few minutes, looking all sleepy.

"Of course we can", you replied with a smile and stood up, followed by Changbin. He let out a little whimper as he was holding his tummy. "Are you alright?", you asked with concern.

"Yes but I just noticed how much I really ate. My tummy feels so heavy", he muttered, leaning a bit against you.

"Well maybe you shouldn't have eaten two meals in a short time", you giggled and stroked his cheek softly. His eyes went all wide which made you giggle even harder.

"How did you know?"

"We have been dating for about two years now, Binnie. I learnt to tell when you are lying. Also you normally only drink soju and beer when you have to eat the rest of my dinner after you finished yours and are already quite full." He rolled his eyes for being catched. "But I appreciate it that you eat all the food even though you already ate dinner just to make me happy", you then whispered and gave him a kiss on his lips.

"I would do it again." With a found smile you stared at him for a moment, then you pulled him with you towards your bedroom. After you stripped down your clothes and got into your pyjamas you two layed down.

Changbin let out a loud satisfied sigh and hummed while he got comfortable. You pressed yourself against his side and placed your head on his muscular chest. Changbin searched for your hand and linked them together when he found yours.

"Thanks again for making dinner. It was really delicious." Softly stroking over his cute bloated tummy, you smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the nose.

"Next time we can also just put it in the fridge and eat it the next day, Binnie. You don't have to force yourself to eat something", you then whispered. You felt him nodding.

"I know but to be honest it kinda felt", he stopped mid sentence, getting all red in the face. "I kinda liked the feeling? I felt all warm and safe and you next to me made it even better. Also I kinda liked it when you took care of my tummy."

"Oh Binnie thank you for sharing this with me", you replied, knowing how much courage saying it must have cost him. "And like I said earlier I was so happy seeing you happy and comfy and you looked so cute with your stuffed cheeks and the relaxed smile on your lips."

"If you want, we can do this again sometime. I will take care of you, will spoil you with all your favorite food and make you feel all comfy and warm." A happy small smile appeared on Changbins lips and he hugged you tighter.

"You would do that for me?"

"Of course, I love you", you whispered. "And I also like to see you all flustered when I tease you or take care of your tummy." You couldn't hold back a giggle as you saw his reaction.

"Of course, of course", he muttered.

After that you two fell in comfortable silence while you took care of his tight tummy.

"Goodnight, jagi", Changbin whispered after a while, already half asleep.

"Goodnight, Binnie. Sleep well", you muttered too and continued to stroke over his tummy till he was asleep.