My Other Half
Camille, 19, Davao
Marie Francesca Camille N. Talua has been my best friend (unknowingly) ever since I was Grade 1. Although we did not start acknowledging that until we were in Grade 9 as we belonged to different cliques, Camille and I have always shared a connection. Funny how we first met. I actually disliked her for she cut in line right in front of me as we enrolled for elementary school. Despite that, however, circumstances have brought us together. We were bullied together in 1st grade, went into choir and journalism, and we entered debate and student council together in high school. Of course, we had different interests as well. For Camille, she liked modeling and dancing. I, on the other hand, took studies seriously and was heavily immersed in community engagement. When we walked together in the hallways of our school, what others see are polar opposites, but we always saw ourselves as different sides of the same coin.
According to Charles Cooley, our self-concepts are formed as reflections of the responses and evaluations of others in our environment. From the activity, it could be observed that in one way or another, Camille and I have the same thoughts about our friendship and specifically, about me as a friend. This could be attributed to our open communication to each other. In the past, we have talked about our friendship and it helped us become more comfortable with each other. It could also be said that our attitudes as individuals are reflected in each other. For instance, my friendship with camille is a representation of my childish and innocent side. For people who have known me just recently, like in college or senior high school, my friendship with them reflects my academics-driven side or my liberated side. My knowing of others label me as well, such as past exchanges of Camille and I in the past, could have influenced my current actions. Since my friends treat me like I am a motherly figure who is responsible and humorous at times, I tend to adapt and configure my personality in accordance with what others perceive it to be. For me, the praise and expectations of my peers when I was younger, as I was supposed to take after my bright and kind sister, pushed me to take on a similar personality as hers as well. Although I was more loud and vulgar than my sister, I starts to pattern my activities with her. She was the reason why I joined math, journalism, and debate competitions when I was younger. One could also attribute the differences of Camille and I, or the differences in Camille’s perception of me and my own subjection perception of the social structure and efficacy-based self-esteem. For one, Camille and I share a lot of interests but because she was surrounded with opportunities or was at least pressured to dance and model, she ended up identifying herself with these activities. On the other hand, since I was longer in the Student Council and was a more active participant in debate and journalism, I was exposed to more opportunities in line with such fields. Hence, my growing interest and self-confidence when faced with similar activities. Additionally, it could also be seen that the difference in Camille’s perception of me and that of myself could be attributed to our distance. Since I studied at a different school and city for senior high school and college, she may hold beliefs linked to me that are specifically observed in our city or within our circle of friends. I could be a different person with other people or in another place. Since I wrote my hypothetical opinions of what she might think of me away from her and long after our last meet up, my perception of my friendship and my attitude towards her could have been changed as well. Thus, it is important for us to know that it is impossible for one to judge another with complete utter objectiveness. We also experience our own contexts at different paces and periods. We must remember this next time the voice in the back of our minds beg for us to scrutinize others.
