Sep 4, 2025
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Something I think about every day is that I (for fun) was taking penalty kicks in my backyard. It should be noted, I have never seriously played soccer/football a day in my life. I had previously made few with my right foot, but I also had been shooting with my left foot (not my preferred foot).
So, let me set the scene, it is April or so of this year (2020), I am lined up, preparing to take the shot, staring down my imaginary goalie standing in the makeshift goalpost of 4x4s, everything is roughly regulation distance. I take a deep breath, my shot is what is going to cause my (fake) team to win the championship, I run up to the ball, and this is when everything becomes slow motion. My foot makes contact with the ball, but is the top of the ball. It slips under my foot, I started falling backwards, I see my life flash before my eyes, and I have accepted this is the way I am going to die, from tripping over a soccer ball taking a penalty kick with my non preferred foot. If you want to know what I can only imagine it looking like in full speed:
It is this.
Yes, I did Charlie Brown myself. So, I then when I realized I did in fact survive the fall, got up off the ball which was now under my lower back, clutching my elbow. Did I have any physical injuries? No. But, man was my pride hurt and my elbow tingly. And since then I have not tried to take a shot with my left foot or a penalty kick in general.
(via Paris Saint-Germain's Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting Delivers A Strong Contender For Miss Of The Season)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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(via Tremendous, Compounding Boners Lead To Incredible Own Goal)
Hugo Lloris’ blunder and Mario Mandzukic’s Goal – France v Croatia - 2018 FIFA World Cup™ FINAL https://youtu.be/WzN-ahqULc4 via @YouTube
VIDEO: Uruguay keeper's huge boner hands France commanding 2-0 lead https://t.co/qRB44GLcq1 pic.twitter.com/fdRSB0MDnz
— Deadspin (@Deadspin) July 6, 2018