#sobarant

What a blorb

the scene of him walking home by himself, the cuts to all the straight couples with him walking past almost like a background character. sooosoo impactful

then he like streches and smiles as if hes come to terms w the fact that hirose has a gf

then we get kana going to go call him for dinner and it cuts to him BAWLING HIS EYES OUT? that was devestating, hearing him wail was so hard. Then he runs out the house??

no idea what his plan was. maybe just to like escape, i thought for a second he was going to dispose the notebook somewhere but he just throws it on the ground?

and then hes like assessing his feelings abt Hirose. From the beginning he made it v clear that he loves him and is gay yada yada but he never rlly delved into the impacts of living somehwere where being hetero seems to b the norm and homostuff only seen in fictional media.

His plan was to be friends w Hirose and like he did that, but its clear he wanted to be closer than what they have (which in my op they aret rlly friends)

So here comes the conumdrum. If Hirose has a gf that doesnt mean he cant b friends w him and previously hes made it clear that when Hiroses happy he's happy.

BUT rn its evidently clear he isnt happy, this forces Nakamura to think more deeply abt his feelings for him, he touches on how it would be impossible yto have the type of relationship he actually wants w him and ig thats a part of him realising his plan to be 'friends' w hirose was just a way to cope that he'd never b w him romantically.

theres sm to say but im glad he's seperating himself from Hirose in a way, realising his own personal feelings are valid and that he cant jjst feel what he feels cuz he's his own person. Im hoping this revelation makes Nakamura put himself first more,

anyways

this was sloppily put togetehr because I'm tryin to heal from the trauma that episode gave me and the fact that theres only ONE left and that i have to wait a WEEK.

@gogo2712 @megacarapa