#soapgazghost

a not so lonely shower - 👻 🧼🧢

his favorite sergeants don’t seem to realize that ghost is in the next stall over (but between you and me, they know. and they want him to hear 🤭)

He’s neurotic, up till four in the morning pacing wired for threats that aren’t there. His system is so screwed that any minor mishap feels like the world is ending and it’s his own fault. Where as Simon’s episodes are more of an intense burst every once in awhile, Johnny’s builds up for months/years and bursts only to linger for far too long. Only Simon and Gaz can help whatsoever

Ooooo yeah okay I hear you I likkeeee iittttt. I tried a few times and landed here:

Johnny doesn’t snap. He doesn’t have the sharp-edged episodes, the sudden drop to the floor, the visible dissociation that he helps Simon through.

What he has is a long, grinding build, months of being a fraction too alert, a fraction too wired. He jokes through it. Works through it. Lets it calcify behind his ribs until even a misplaced sound, a door left unlatched, a thought half-finished feels like proof that everything is about to go wrong and it will be his fault.

Tonight it finally leaks out of him.

It’s past four. The world is quiet in that unnatural way that means danger's somewhere near. Johnny’s been pacing the length of the barrack's halls for hours, barefoot on tile worn smooth by other men who couldn’t sleep.

His hands keep flexing. Every pass through the hallway tightens his chest a little more.

Missed something.

Should’ve caught it.

If it goes wrong, it’s on you.

Kyle hears the pacing from his room. He pulls on a hoodie and steps into the hallway, matching Johnny’s route without announcing himself.

Johnny startles, a sharp inhale.

“Hey,” Kyle says quietly, like he’s talking to a skittish animal. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

Johnny scrubs a hand over his face, already trying to smile. “Wasn’t—yeah. Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t,” Kyle lies easily. “Couldn’t sleep.”

They walk together for a minute. Johnny keeps pacing. Kyle keeps pace.

It doesn’t fix anything, but it slows the spiral just enough that Johnny notices the burn in his calves, the ache in his feet. Notices that his breath is shallow and fast and that he can’t quite remember the last time he sat down.

Then Simon appears at the far end of the hall, silent as a shadow.

Simon takes one look at Johnny and understands. He lowers himself to sit on the floor, back against the wall, right in Johnny’s path.

Johnny nearly trips over him.

“Oi—” His voice cracks, irritation sharp and brittle. “Si, what the hell?”

Simon looks up at him, eyes steady. He's wearing just a black medical mask tonight. “You’re wearing a groove in the floor.”

Johnny huffs, half a laugh. He tries to step around him.

Simon shifts his legs just enough to block him again.

“Sit,” Simon says.

Johnny stands there for a long second, body buzzing, thoughts racing too fast to grab. Kyle comes up behind him then, close enough that Johnny can feel the warmth of him, the solid presence at his back.

“You don’t have to explain,” Kyle murmurs. “Just—let it level out, yeah?”

Johnny’s shoulders sag like someone cut a wire. He sinks down onto the floor between them, elbows on his knees, head hanging. His breath stutters, then stutters again.

Simon reaches out and grips Johnny’s wrist, firm, grounding, thumb pressing into the pulse point.

Kyle crouches in front of him, resting his forearms on his thighs so they’re eye-level. “Breathe with me,” he says quietly. “In. Slow.”

Johnny tries, fails, then tres again.

Simon adjusts his grip slightly, squeezes once. “You’re here,” he says. “Nothing’s happening.”

Johnny swallows hard. “Feels like it is.”

“I know."

They don’t rush him. They don’t argue with his fear or try to logic it away. Kyle keeps breathing where Johnny can hear it, exaggerated just enough to follow. Simon stays at his side.

Minutes pass. Probably more.

Eventually, Johnny’s breathing evens out. The buzzing in his limbs fades to something manageable. The world stops feeling like it’s about to collapse under his feet.

He slumps sideways without really thinking about it, shoulder bumping into Simon's. Simon shifts, lets Johnny lean. Kyle drapes his hoodie around Johnny’s shoulders.

“Sorry,” Johnny mutters. “Didn’t mean to—”

Kyle cuts him off gently. “No apologies.”

Simon hums in agreement.

anyway, here's ghost trying sudoku

little bonus below the cut

This delicious little morsel popped into my mind last night while watching Insta reels of a very, very attractive farrier...

So, imagine this little lineup:

Ranch owner Price

Wrangler Gaz

Ranch hand Ghost

Farrier Soap

Soap comes to the Price ranch once or twice a month to do all the horses and Gaz and Ghost just happen to be by the barn every time for chores.... and oh no, the hot farrier's shirt's off... oh dear...

Price brings him out a bottle of water and instead of drinking it all, he pours some over his head because it's just so hot out... and then Soap winks at his little audience.

And that's how Soap gets himself into a threesome with the very sexy wrangler and the silent, equally sexy stable hand. He treats them both like horses he needs to tame, which Ghost doesn't catch at all and Gaz absolutely LOVES.

He could always tell when Simon was off. Be it a slight tick of his hands pulling down on his balaclava when he was nervous, the sudden stillness and slight head tilt he did when he was getting pissed or the silence he used when he was down.

Yeah. Price can always tell. It was like a rift in the usual waves around Ghost, and he can almost always tell 99.999% of the time what the other was feeling simply by noting the atmosphere change around the other man. He can tell everything from a mile away, even if Simon couldn’t himself.

So trust him when he says he knows Ghost wants to be closer to the taskforce. He sees it in how the three banter around, how Ghost allows Gaz to call him “the phantom of the opera” or how Soap is the only one who can whine to L.T about taking off his mask without having a gaping hole in his chest later. Or the unspoken rule of personal space suddenly being invaded as light pats, playful punches and mock hits are tolerated by Ghost without any alarm bells going off.

But Ghost, is shit at communication. At an unfathomable level. The lieutenant was sure the other two men must have recognised his reciprocation, his open fondness and soft spot for them. The fucking clueless bastard who didn’t know the first thing about normal behavior, Price thinks with love.

And he’d reached his limit with trying to let Simon do it his way.

So when they’re all down from a mission, Ghost making his way to exfil while the rest were already in the train, Price tells both his sergeants to just close their eyes. He’s met with a few dubious looks, but the tired expression on his face of trust me I know what I’m doing erases all doubts and they both do it.

The moment ghost’s voice clicks over comms, saying he’s made it out, Price sees both his sergeants relax, shoulders sagging as they let out a deep exhale, and smiles. All his boys cared about each other.

Gaz, who closes his eyes first, ends up falling asleep, lightly swaying with the motion to prevent himself from falling deeper. And Soap is well on his way under, his body stilling dangerously so for his normal state.

Price sits on the opposite seat, keeps his hat on his face to prevent Ghost from seeing his eyes, and lays back. To watch the chaos, of course. Ghost enters after a few minutes, his footsteps heavy before stopping, and then becoming impossibly soft, presumably because he sees them all asleep.

Price watches Ghost falter, THE Ghost look as uncertain and lost as a puppy, fidgeting as he tries to see where he can sit.

The bus starts, and the motion causes Gaz to almost slide off. But before Gaz can fully wake himself up to respond, Ghost catches him, takes the seat between the two sergeants, tightens his gentle grip around the other man, and allows him to rest his weight on Simon, to prevent him from moving any further.

Soap, half awake for all, this lifts his head a bit at the commotion, his battle with sleep was evident. He ends up trying to look at what is happening, before sleep wins and Johnny goes limp, head falling against Simon’s before he realises what happened and tries to lift himself, ending with his head falling back.

And Ghost once again, doesn’t let it. He lifts his shoulder to better support the other man’s neck, and tucks his chin over Soap’s head to keep him comfortable and safe. Soap is now practically leaning on Simon, the latter man for the first time in a long while not only allowing touch but initiating it.