Something happens and Ford gets a little tipsy. He's been having nightmares about the abuse and is feeling fragile. He's been stuck in his head all day about it and he wants so badly to be comforted but he fights it. Now Stan can see that Ford is upset and that he badly wants to talk about something, but he's also a little worried that it's about him. Stan is a little more sober than Ford and decides to initiate touch.

He reaches across the table and touches Ford's hand and asks him what's wrong. And that touch feels so nice. And Stan is being so kind. And he is so tired of fighting. Bracing himself for the inevitable bashing, Ford risks telling Stan about Bill's abuse.

And Stan is so quiet.

And Ford won't stop talking, won't let go of Stan's hand.

When Ford finally stops talking, voice raw and frail, his hand shaking, he waits for Stan to say something. The first thing he notices is Stan retracting his hand from his, and it tears a sob from Ford. He shuts his eyes tight because he can't look. He can't be brave to face this right now, not like this, now when his skin feels so raw. But then his hands are being pulled from his face, and Stan is wiping away his tears with a warm washcloth. He's not angry, he's not sneering. He's patient and soft.

When the worst of it is gone, even with fresh tears refusing to stop rolling out of his face, Stan bundles Ford close to him and holds him tight.

"I'm sorry," Stan says.

And Ford can't stop the wail that breaks through nor the scream that follows afterwards. He can't tell his hands to stop pounding on Stan's back nor his nails digging into his skin. He sits and cries and thrashes and screams until he can't do it anymore. He's spent and he's still in his brother's arms.

Stan hasn't said anything since telling him he's sorry and it puts him on edge.

"Do you think we can bring Bill back?"

Ford tears himself from Stan so fast, bewildered by his request.

"What?!"

"I don't think hitting him once is enough. Do you think if we talk with that pink bastard that is in charge of him, he'll give me 10 minutes alone with him?"

Stan looks so serious, like he's ready to somehow find and confront the Axolotl and demand a 10-minute unmonitored visit with his abuser. It's so unlike what Ford was ready to hear and yet it is exactly what Stan would say. Not the Stan in his head, not the Stan that Bill put in his head, not the Stan their family put in his head. The Stan.

Ford breaks his trance with laughter that he hadn't known he could still possess after all this time. Here he was, crying to his brother about the bully who picked on him, and Stan, loyal Stan, is ready to walk into the battlefield and face whoever it was head on. Ford kisses him with the laughter wedged in his teeth and Stan responds in kind.

"I'm serious, Ford. If I had known that before we did our swap, I probably would have done a lot more than just give him the ol' left hook."

Marcus: "So when we get to this new place, first order of business. Barry, you're not settin' one foot in that kitchen."

Stan: "Forget cooking. I wouldn't even trust this one with a microwave."

Barry: "Come ON! It was ONE TIME! Are you lot ever gonna let it go?!"

Marcus and Stan: "Never!

Barry: "What I did wasn't even that bad!"

Marcus: "Tell that to the stove you ruined!"

Stan: "We almost got kicked out of that flat 'cause of you!"

Johnny (aged five): "So...what did Uncle Barry do?"

Marcus: "Johnny, you wanna go to the park when we get settled in?"

Johnny: "Yay!"

Marcus to Stan: "He must NEVER know."

@chambersmalone Stan Zimmerman, who helped write The Brady Bunch Movie (and TV shows like The Golden Girls) on The Justin Root Show talking about Shelley Long.

Justin is such a fan, so clearly I am a fan of his :)

During her first pregnancy, Patty wanted to be like those cute moms she's sees on TV that rests her knitting on her baby bump, and wants to make some cute socks for the baby which they’ll be able to keep forever and coo about when reminiscing.

turns out knitting is much harder than it looks, and her first attempt (which was a scarf for Stan- that he loved anyway and tried to make work, goddamn it) was too loose, and kept losing stitches

Que Beverly coming over every week to try and help her, and Patty trying her best to learn (and every so often Stan wakes up in the middle of the night to get water, and passing by the babies room, and he finds Patty in there, with an adorable look of concentration on her face, and he just has to stop for a minute, because damn, he loves her soooooo much, and how can anybody be so perfect)