#so dense

I used to go down to the wharf in the evenings when the fishermen would come back in with a bluefin tuna. You could watch them cut it apart with big electric saws. You could see the pink mist caught in the overhead lights. Just spraying out from all this big gray body like when you put your thumb over a garden hose. There'd be a pool of blood under where it was propped up. Rubber boots tramped through it. Isn’t that crazy? Rubber boots. You were just alive and now rubber boots are walking through your blood. They need a better angle for the saws. The kids loved it. If the saws weren't so loud I think you could hear it, the blood, dripping down onto the concrete. I got to look the tuna in its big dead eye before they cut the head off. If you come across a dead mammal in the woods, sometimes you can see still see it's little face scrunched up in that final snarl. But the dead fish has open eyes. It has a slack face with an open mouth. It's gills no longer pump. A dead fish's expression looks very much like an alive fish. I don’t think that means it didn't feel panic and fear when it struggled on the line. But after you're just left with the big, silver eyes and the open mouth that doesn’t tell you anything. Is it open because mouths just go slack when fish die? Or can you imagine it's open because it was trying to gulp water and filter air, even when there was no water to take in? "Please God!” But fish can’t call out for god. That’s insane. All living things can cry out for life though. Like hey! I’m not done! I was in the middle of something here! (life.) If you've ever swatted a spider and it curled into a ball, tried to drag itself away from you on it's two, unruined legs, that's what it was doing. (Life!) Did you finish it off after? Did you tell yourself it was an act of mercy? I think mercy is never hitting the spider to begin with. I got to hold its heart in my hands btw. Try it out sometime ✌️

Can I beat the shit out of MG like right now