chapter 29| Turning Page
WC-6.5k
Summary
The underground is filthy and dark. Dim lights, dull alleys, and desperate hearts. A place Levi knows as well as the back of his hand, and a place he would do anything to get out of.
Chapters of life roll by and with the turn of a page, things drastically change. In front of him is the opportunity to live on the surface. And the flimsy bridge that he has to cross. From an uncivil criminal to a disciplined soldier.
But life on the surface seems tougher amidst all the mockery, civilities, and the gaping hole left in his heart, after the demise of his dear friends Isabel and Farlan.
Content/Warnings
canon- compliant, canon-typical violence, spoilers for No Regrets OVA, descriptions of PTSD, grief, depression, heavy angst and themes, strong language, self-hate, physical assault.
Authorās Note
OMG hiii guysss!
Can't believe that this is the last chapter!! There's so much gratitude in my heart right now. This has been a long long (irregularš¤”) ride, and I'm grateful to everyone who's sticked around!
I've tried my best to write an amazing chapter since its the last, which is why this got so delayed. (And I might also have been overworked to the core at work lol ) But there's going to be a long ass note at the the end of the chapter about everything!
Song for the final chapter is byĀ Turning PageĀ by Sleeping at Last!
I hope you enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.
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Itās an hour past 12, and Levi sits on his balcony looking at the midnight sky.
The thick veil of pollution prevents the stars from being visible. Instead there's street lights and high beams from cars, twinkling on the ground.
He misses the stars from Paradis. It was the first thing he fell in love with once he came to the surface. And he wonders, whether Mae is looking at the stars and thinking of him as well?
The world outside the walls is beautiful.
There are soaring cathedrals that almost reach the sky, and beautiful temples with the most intricate architecture. Thereās snow capped mountains and beautiful cherry blossoms. And everyday, from his tiny balcony, he gets to see the sun sink below the sharp silhouette of the towers.
Heās getting to experience the world his comrades died for.
But as beautiful the outside world is, it isnāt home
The development of technology seems unfamiliar. And the people around him havenāt lived their entire lives caged in fear. These people donāt know the cost of freedom.
It has been so long since heās been back home.
Itās been so long since the Rumbling too.
The earth was left razen. Mountains crumbled to dust and forests burnt to ashes. Countries had simply been wiped off the face of the earth. Years of civilization and developmentsnuffed out in an instant, with no one to record their names.
But against the odds, humanity managed to survive. Traumatized and beaten, but still alive.
Miraculously Levi made it too.
Jean and Connie found him half dead, on the foot of Fort Salta. He was lapsing in and out of consciousness. Devoid of the strength to even stand up.
Tents were made into makeshift hospitals, food was meager. And his first few months were spent on a wooden cot,bed ridden with the stinging pain of his knee and his yearning for Mae.
He yearned to see her when he was trapped with Zeke for a month, he yearned to see her when he woke up with searing pain and bandages all over his face. And now the war was over, but he couldnāt get back to her.
The Rumbling destroyed everything humanity had ever strived for. Rail tracks, roads, ports, farmsā¦ everything was abolished as an aftermath.
It was impossible to get to the other side of the world.
Gradually Levi recovered, it took him almost a year. But his strength never returned. The tiniest task would turn him breathless, and the sight in his right eye was gone for good.
The doctors diagnosed him a plethora of health problems. And he was never allowed to look weak, but now he was in a wheelchair, needing help to pick things up from the floor. Life dealt him one blow after another.
Armin, Jean and Connie became busy, making peace with the remaining nations. Mikasa never returned. And Levi found himself, all alone. With a chaotic mind, and too much time on his hands.
Soon the Allied Nations rescued all the survivors from the Titan Waste Lands. Marley was no more, so most refugees ended up taking asylum in Hizuru.
And by the courtesy of Kiyomi Azumabito, Levi was gifted an apartment in the center of the city hall, and citizenship. A tiny apartment in between a lush square, in the city center.
It was tiny, but homely enough. And he would love sitting on the balcony and watching the outside world.
Life got more comfortable and Levi got to see the sights his comrades died for.
But there were still days where he barely had enough strength to pick his remaining fingers. Those days were the worst. And he felt like the walls of his apartment would swallow him up.
The purpose of his life was over. Hange was gone. Erwin was gone. Life came crashing down.
And sometimes, under the flicker of a candlelight, at his tiny desk, he would close his eyes, and imagine that heās back in Maeās old house. Learning the alphabet, listening to the soft scratches of her pen as she corrected his writings. It seemed like lifetimes had passed since then.
Mae was always with him, through all his hurdles he faced on the surface. And now he had to face an awfully big one, without her.
So he decided heāll start to learn writing again. With two fingers of his right hand gone, he had to re-learn how to hold a pen again. He told Onyaknapon to get him books, so he could trace over letters, trying to perfect every curve. Just the way Mae had taught him.
It gave him a sense of purpose, and it also made him feel close to her in some way.
It took three years for the Yeagerists to finally agree to a cordial discussion with the Alliance. Historia sent letters to everyone. And this morning the Alliance left, back to their hometown.
Armin did extend an invitation to him too. But Levi didnāt want to be associated with the world anymore. He didnāt have the strength for it nor the will. His job was done.
āCaptain,ā A voice pulls him out of his thoughts. Behind him is a sliding door that leads to his room. And on the bed sits Onyakapon.
He points at the three thick journals that take up most of his space in his briefcase.āAre you sure you want to take these back?ā
And Levi contemplates. Paper doesnāt spoil, and he should rather carry some spare clothes to keep himself clean.
āLeave the journals there.ā His voice comes out gruff, and then it turns wispy. Everything heās ever felt in these years without her and his limbs, is penned in these flimsy sheets of paper.
āItās letters I have written to her.ā There is no need to clarify. Thereās no need to carry his journals all the way back either. But he does it either way. The war has changed him. And Levi realises he doesnāt have to torture himself anymore.
āIām surprised you never got her to meet us.ā Onyakapon smirks. He could have never guessed the captain had a lover.
And a faint smile appears on Leviās lips as the curve of her smile plays on his mind. He wonders if she found the pearl ring and his letter. He never found the courage to directly hand it to her.
Itās been three years. Three long painful years. Perhaps, sheās forgotten all about him.
āTch, as if Iāll let you filths near her.ā He brushes his feelings off. Masking his thoughts with harsher words.Ā Some things truly never change.
A flight passes over his head, heāll probably sit in the next one.
āI hope everything is safe out there, hope thereās no hostility.ā Onyakapon mumbles as he closes the briefcase.
And Levi gets off from his wheelchair, limping towards his bedpost. āNo harm from a guy in a wheelchair.ā He tries to joke, but thereās a prick in his heart.
He canāt pick things from the shelf. Some Days he also needed help to get to the toilet. And even though heās returning back to Mae, thereās nothing he can do for her now.
And while happiness was never a part of his destiny. He hopes sheās happy. At least one of them must be.
āWell if things are bad, you can always come back here captain.ā Onyakaponās voice cuts through the constant torture of his thoughts.
The words bring him enough solace to take him through the night. A rare smile tugs on his lips. āThanks Onyakapon.ā
Itās going to be a long trip.
_________________________
Itās 10 am, and itās sweltering hot in Mitras. Sweat clings to Leviās skin, and he wipes it off with the back of his hand.
His briefcase sits on his lap. And he pushes his wheelchair through the dirt road,
Vast meadows stretch in front of him. The air is fresh, and a plethora of apple trees border the sides of the road. Its shade is very welcome in the sun.
Farmhouses are scattered at a distance, crops grow in structured rows. And Levi taps his heel, as he moves past them mindlessly. His thoughts are only set on one.
Historia told him Maeās house was at the end of the apple plantation. Luckily the terrain is flat, and heās able to maneuver his wheelchair with ease.
Nonetheless, itās been a tiring ride.
The royal guards did offer to escort him to Maeās house, but he declined the offer. The moment approaching was too personal to share with a bunch of strangers.
Soon, what heās searching for comes to vision, and eagerly he moves forward.
100 meters away from him, down the mud path, is a humble home. Its stone walls are smooth, worn out by time. And the roof is thatched with wood and straws.
Thereās a small garden at the front, with saplings that are beginning to sprout. And a few meters away from it all is a park. The sight of which bubbles a bittersweet feeling in Levi's chest.
āThis is it.ā He exhales, cherishing the cold air on his lips. Itās a breath that heās been holding in for too long. A yearning that has been living in his heart for years now.
His mind jogs back to a small trip they took 5 years back, on Maeās birthday. She had booked a small cabin nestled in the middle of farmland.
He still remembers the smile on her face, and the way her eyes crinkled in the sunlight.
Her hair flowed in the wind, and he thoughtlessly followed it. Too enamored by the happiness she radiated.
The birds sang, and the lillies seemed to beam.
Stories were told by the fireplace, and they would stargaze from the flower field. Cuddling under the sheets of the stiff bed, and eating lunch under a tree's shade.
She laughed, then he smiled. And for a fleeting moment, Levi had escaped from all his responsibilities.
He realized he could spend his entire life this way, under the shadow of the sun, and the warmth of their love. He couldnāt care less about saving the world, or his tea shop evenā¦
He just wanted to be here with her.
Forever.
But time stopped for no one. And Leviās prayers had a habit of going unheard.
And now, 5 years later, life has brought him here again. In a secluded countryside so full of beauty and peace, and so unlike him.
This is the kind of life Mae had always wanted to live. Away from the bustle of the city, where she could spend countless hours looking at the stars.
The door to her house softly clicks. And Levi leans forward, with his breath caught in his throat.
He has felt her caress in the warmth of the sunlight. Heās heard the faint echo of her laughter in the rustling of the leaves. Every breath, every movement, was just in the hopes that heād get to see her again.
Seasons passed by like shadows, and now finally heās finally here, moments away from her. The journey has been staggeringly hard.
Time passes at a lumbering pace, and Levi feels like he can almost hear the creaking of the door, as it gets swinged open.
Out steps a man with a basket in his hand. Heās well built and tall, and donned in a casual attire.
And Leviās heart drops to the floor as a sickening feeling of jealousy takes over. All of a sudden the blood is thunderous in his ears.
He feels like he canāt breathe And his heart burns at the thought that her gentle smile turns to a man who isnāt him.
A moment later, a toddler comes out, chasing behind the man.
And Levi clutches the sides of his wheelchair so tight, that his knuckles turn white.
Fuck
He feels like heāll vomit.
Like salt to his wounds, the man picks up the child. And she smiles so bright, he can see her sweet giggle, even though it's barely audible in the distance.
The man kisses the toddlerās cheeks, and takes her to the park. And Levi watches the scene with a sting in his eye.
He was her lover once but now he's a mere bystander. A powerless man who can do nothing but just watch. The realization is like a punch to his gut, and a bittersweet memory comes to Leviās mind.
On their last night in the cabin, he told Mae he didnāt have the time to get her a birthday present. And then she shed a silent tear, telling him how she felt like sheās carrying the entire relationship.
It wasnāt too far from the truth. He had too much on his mind as a soldier. And life was not easy when the weight of humanity rested on your shoulder. Some days he didnāt even have the time to think of her.
And Levi knew he was being selfish by keeping her chained to him, but his heart didnāt know a way of living without her.
He asked what he could do to make it up to her, and she asked him to run away to a peaceful place.
All she had ever wanted was to stay next to him.
The decision was clear in his head then, but now he wonders if he should have just eloped with herā¦ It's not like all the wars heās fought have turned this world into an ideal place.
The impermanence of lifeā¦ Itās something that he still canāt comprehend.
What is born shall die, what has started shall end. People come and go out at their own pace. The good moments turn stale, and eventually everyone ends up alone, with only memories to comfort them. Time is truly a fickle piece of shit.
The man places the toddler on the swing, before he heads the other way. And Levi gets consumed by his thoughts.
He had people who he once held close too. Erwin, Hange, Isabel, Farlan. But they left.
He wasnāt prepared for their deaths, but somehow he made his peace with it.
But he's not ready to let Mae go yet.
Not when her name is etched in the depths of his heart. Not when her thoughts have troubled him day and night. His heart yearns for her so deep, it doesnāt know another way of living.
It was supposed to be his kid, she was supposed to be his wife. He wanted to start his tea shop too. Life just had some other plans after all.
There were days when he didnāt have the strength to get out of his makeshift bed, there were days where his injuries hurt so much, he thought heād prefer death over the pain of living like this. But he pushed and pushed.
Because at the end of this tunnel, he saw her.
The sweet end of his tiresome journey, The reward for his unyielding perseverance. His home after years of loneliness.
But itās been three years now. And sheās not his anymore.
A part of him wants to throttle this man, for laying his hands on her. And a part of him wants to hate on her too. But it isnāt her fault as well.
His heart has been placed in the palm of her hand for far too long. And if she decides to break it, then heāll just have to disseminate.
He guesses heāll just have to live with the weight of being all alone.
The silence consumes,
And Levi taps his heel in frustration.
Time passes by painfully slowly. And one minute turns into fifteen.
The man and toddler are long gone now, but Levi still continues to bleed on the edge of his seat. He continues to sweat in the heat. Too nervous to move forward, yet too regretful to turn away.
Old habits die hard, he guesses.
The strength to move forward wanes from his body and every breath he takes only shatters his composure into pieces. He never thought heād have to taste defeat, after winning over the entire world.
Thereās some shuffling in the woods, and he swivels around aghast. His reflexes are not as sharp as he used to be. And heās too exhausted to put on the act of a stone cold person.
He tries honing on the sound of movement but what use would that even be?
Back in the day he had the strength to beat any person to a pulp. But now with his crippled leg, heās more of a burden, than a lover.
His hands trace back to his scars, a habit he has recently developed. And insecurity floods his mind.
He feels stupid pondering over something as trivial as his appearance. He wouldnāt even pay it a thought when he was in the Survey Corps. But heās on the way to meet the love of his life and thereās these scars on his face that make him look fucking hideous.
The pit he's falling into is not unfamiliar. Itās something that bothers him everytime he looks into the mirror.
And in the haze of his insecurities. A sweet voice finds him.
āDadd-a?ā
He gasps, slowly turning towards the voice.
A little girl peeks at him from behind a tree trunk. He canāt see much of her, as sheās a few feet away, partly covered between the dense layers of trees. But he recognises her as the same child, who stepped out of Maeās house a few moments ago.
The silence stretches, and she continues looking at him. With her eyes all wide and beaming. And Levi sighs, not knowing how to react.
He decides he doesnāt have it in him to see Mae or her happy family. Heāll just come back another day, when his heart hurts a little less.
And so he turns his wheelchair around, almost taking a U turn. But the same innocent voice stops him again.
āDadd-a,ā the girl squeals, and her tiny shoes squeak as she waddles towards him.
And Levi feels stumped, when she wraps her tiny body around his leg.
Heās always been quick to react to situations, but now heās frozen.
He wonders why this little girl is hugging his leg, and how sheās not scared of how scary he looks with the huge scars on his face.
And as much bitterness his heart holds at the cruel turn of fate, her purity washes it away. Slowly, gently, deliberately. His features soften, and he decides the least he can do is drop her back home to safety.
He huffs, bending down to pick her up. And as he lifts her up by her armpits, his eyes are met with the same shade of silver.
Her skin is pale, papery white in complexion and her hair is the same shade of midnight black as his. Everything from the shape of her face to the shade of her lips comes from him. And thereās also a little cravat tucked inside her red polka dot dress.
āDaddaaa,ā she chimes as if she recognizes him.
And a shuddered breath escapes his lips. Her smileā¦ It comes from Mae.
She is his. Theirs. A part of him and a part of Mae.
And Levi has faced strong emotions before. Heās had his stomach churn with anxiety, and heās had his heart overrun with grief and loss. Heās always anticipated all the things that could happen in his future, trudged every moment with caution. But no amount of preparedness could prepare him for the moment in front of him.
His hands tremble, as he puts her down on the floor. Heās a father nowā¦ heās been a father for the past 3 years. It's too much to process. And his heart beats so fast in his chest, heās afraid it will break out of his ribs.
āLilly, Lilly,ā A familiar voice cuts through the moment and his heart skips a beat.
āHow many times have I told you not to-ā Mae steps out of the trees, panting and worried. But the sight in front of her makes the words on her tongue scurry away.
Levi is a few meters away from her, in a wheelchair with 2 long scars running down his face, just the way the Queen had foreseen in the paths.
Everyday, she has stared at this road for countless hours, waiting for him to show up. It feels like sheās waited a lifetime to see him again.
The years of separation pass by her eyes.
Countless nights were spent crying into his shirt and every breath felt like a burden.
Everyone was ecstatic about the liberation of their island. And Mae was condemned to be alone, with her dwindling will to live.
Then she met Samuel and Claus, the soldiers who showed empathy to her, in a world that had become too hostile for anyone who supported the alliance.
They took her to the Queen, and the Queen recognised her instantly, as the doctor who helped when Trost was breached.
And as a Survey Corps Soldier who was once a part of the Leviās squad, the Queen made it her mission to protect and provide for the ones who were close to the Alliance.
Thatās when Mae moved into the peaceful countryside, with Jean and Connieās mom.
Living with people who dealt with the same grief surely gave some solace, but life was still painful. And in the midst of her pain, like a beam of light into stark darkness, her baby came into this world.
And Mae never thought sheād get to see Leviās eyes again, but they were right in front of her. Resting so peacefully against her chest.
That night she cried tears of gratitude. Life crashed into her as peacefully as it could.
āMama mama, dadd-a has come back,ā Her daughter squeals, with her tiny finger pointing towards Levi. Her grasp on her leg is still tight, and her eyes sparkle with joy.
And Mae tries to smile, but it gets dissolved in the trail of her tears.
This moment has haunted her every second, wrecked her entire being. And as she steps closer to the dream of Levi sheās had, every night since she was pregnant, the details of him come to life.
Her eyes follow the strong curve of his jaw, chiseled as if it has been carved by an artist. The ridge of his nose is sharp as always and his thin eyebrows are slightly disheveled.
She caresses him with her gaze, before her touch can even come close.
Two different Leviās look back at her now. On the left, his face is marred, with two long scars running down his face. He is hurt and hidden away. And she can never see him through his cloudy iris.
But in his other eye, there are flecks of hope. The black of his pupil has expanded, and his iris shines blue in the sunrays. He wears his heart on his sleeve, Mae swears she has never seen him this vulnerable before.
And she might have lived without him for 3 years, but he has lived inside her every second, in her every thought. Her hand extends towards him out of deprivation.
Life hasnāt been the kindest to her.
But when the pads of her fingers reach the hollow of his cheek, her heart steadies itself. Whenever her eyes met his orbs , her ears met his voice, and her body met his touch. His familiarity always envelopes her. As if the hearth of a warm house, always welcoming and open.
Her hands reach to his lips, the shape of which she can trace on paper, even with her eyes shut close.
And Levi closes his eyes in alleviation.
Thereās a search for words. Words for the longing, words for the separation.
And Mae shudders, as the pads of her fingers skim over his skin. They trace over his scars, the old and the new. From the top of his forehead, down to the edge of his chin. From the curve of his necks down the length of his arms.
Three years have passed by, but his features are still as strong.
Her caress reaches the end of his arm, and her fingers find the indents of his knuckles. Gingerly she takes his palm into hers,
And Levi is quick to wrap the 3 fingers that remain on his hand, around her.
Her touch feels both foreign and achingly familiar. He has craved this so much.
Maeās eyes widen at the gesture, heavy with tears. And she kisses the spot where his 2 fingers once used to be. Levi is as real as ever, she can feel every divot of his skin against her lips.
The realization breaks her, and she drops to the floor. With her head on his lap, and her arms sprawled all over his thighs.
Thereās disbelief, thereās elation. The feeling can never be put into words. Her shoulders wilt, heavy with the pain of separation, and she cries into his lap.
āI missed youā¦ You werenāt there.ā Her voice is muffled against his skin. āI thought Iād never see you again.ā Her sobs pierce through the quiet of the farmland.
And he stares wide eyed, biting back his tears as well.
The pain she has carried with her all these years, is right in front of him. Laced into the heavy sobs that rake through her frame.
And Levi knows he should pick her up and kiss the shit of her, but heās frozen. For his gaze is stuck on the familiar pearl ring that rests on her ring finger.
Words fail him, and his heart spasms in his chest. āD-did y-you ? He can only stutter, as his touch lingers over the pearl. āA-after all this time?ā
The question hangs in the air, but the answer is right in front of him. In the grief that occupies her heart, in the love that still brims in her eyes. And in the tiny girl who looks exactly like him.
It feels like all the sacrifices heās made in life have finally come to fruition. His directionless quest has finally found its destination. His exhausted soul has found its shelter.
Thereās such mercy in this moment, all he can do is shudder and let out an exhale. Maybe in exhaustion, maybe in fulfillment.
And Mae looks up at him, her eyes tinged red with tears. āI was only going to wait one more year, good that you came back in time.ā
He puts his hand on her head, and her body trembles beneath his touch. All the grief she has held onto for so long, slows paroles in the form of her tears.
The scene is as heartbreaking, as it is rewarding.
āMa-ma,ā Lilly babbles, her voice as bright as sunlight cutting through storm clouds. And Levi looks at her as she tries to fit herself in the space between Maeās hunched frame and his legs.
She settles into Maeās lap, and Mae is forced to look into her eyes full of wonder.
āMamaā¦ā she coos, and her tiny hands wipe the fat tears that roll down Maeās face.ā Dad-daās back, don-t be sad.ā
And Mae smiles at that, certainly she takes a lot from her father.
āYouāre right, my loveā¦letās take Dada home shall we?ā Her voice turns gentler, and she gets up with Lily in her arms.
āLevi?ā Mae questions, gesturing towards his lap.
And Levi hesitates, a little too afraid that heās too scary for the delicate human being.
āYouāll be a great father, donāt worry.ā
The second time he looks at her, he knows heās doomed. Her cheeks are round and full, as if thereās food stuffed inside them. And her eyes are just like his, but thereās a brightness in them that he never had.
She settles on his lap. And as he wraps his arms around her waist, she places her tiny palms on his scarred forearms. And Levi realizes there is nothing he wouldnāt do for this tiny person that heās just met a few moments ago.
His heart feels full of love.
Mae starts pushing his wheelchair forward. And he closes his eyes, as he feels the wind against his face. Itās a moment that makes him feel grateful to be alive.
In a span of a few minutes, theyāre already outside the veranda to her house. And Levi can smell the Lavender she has planted in the front garden.
āItās not a big house but itās enough. I stay here with Jean and Connieās momā¦ Luckily for us though, theyāve gone to Trost for a bit.ā Mae speaks, as she picks Lily from Leviās lap, and places her inside the house.
āItās a very sweet place though. All the farmers staying around often visit. Itās like a big family. Borris was here too, half an hour back. You might have seen himā¦he wanted to take some cookies for his son.ā
āAhh,ā Levi drawls, as if he didnāt spend fifteen minutes hating on that man. āI donāt think I saw him.ā
She takes his briefcase in one hand, and hooks her other arm around his waist. Slowly helping him up the short flight of stairs. And he wants to do nothing, but melt in her embrace
āI can walk for a few minutes.ā Her murmurs, almost embarrassed.
āYouāre not walking anywhere until I check your leg myself.ā She reprimands, but the softness in her eyes contradicts her strict tone.
As it turns out, Maeās house is very much a home.
The interior is simple and modest. Thereās a couch, two wooden chairs and a table in the front room. The wooden floor creaks as he steps in. And the walls are filled with the crayon marks.
āIāll get your wheelchair inside.ā Mae mumbles as she seats Levi on the couch.
And when Mae comes back in again, Lilly has already managed to climb on the couch. Sheās standing on Leviās lap with her hands on his cheeks. The faintest of smiles plays on Leviās lips, and he holds her by the waist, making sure she doesnāt lose balance.
The sight makes Maeās heart swell. Her entire world is now in front of her. Her heart feels so full and so heavy at the same time. And her eyes turn misty again.
āOi oi, donāt start with all the crying again?ā Levi mutters as he notices her standing by the door.
And Mae sniffs, overwhelmed. āIāll make you some tea?ā
āYaa- Da-dda love teaaa.ā Lilly squeals, before Levi can even respond to Mae.
And Mae smiles. Her family is finally complete... a few years back she would have never believed sheād get the privilege of experiencing this.
And just as sheās about to turn towards the kitchen, Levi stops her.
āMaeā¦ā His voice drawls, and he pats the spot next to him. āTea can wait.ā
_________________________
The world outside fades into a quiet hum as the bustle of the morning stretches into the lull of the afternoon.
The sun has draped itself over the earth, like a soft blanket. And Levi rests on the bed. Heās just finished his lunch, and he allows himself to sink into the mattress.
Time seems to have been caught in the gentle sway of the trees, and Levi takes his sweet time looking at the things around him.
Lily's soft toys are stacked on top of the cupboard. And there's a wooden cabinet, filled with all of Mae's favorite books.
The curtains are made of colorful crocheted patchwork. And somehow Mae has managed to bring most of her things from her house in Trost here.
But it's not just that. Levi's stuff is here too.
Thereās a cupboard next to Mae with his clothes folded and organized just the way he likes it. His favorite novels and teacups are kept in a separate cabinet. And right in front of the bed, there's a wall with paintings of the three of them together.
It feels like nothing has changed, like he was never away.
And everytime he closes his eyes, his heart begins to race. But for the first time, the adrenaline that flows through him isnāt nerve-racking. It feels exciting
The curtains above his head billow softly with the wind. A mild breeze enters the bedroom and Levi tilts his face to bask in its warmth.
His whole world now lies in his arms. Snoring peacefully, with her hand wrapped around his finger. She's so tiny, that all of her body fits on his torso.
And he lets out a sigh as he feels the subtle rise of her tiny chest against his own.
āAre you not able to sleep, because all of a sudden thereās a child on your chest, and you donāt know where she came from?ā Mae steps into the room, quietly shutting the door behind her.
āI can clearly tell where she comes from.ā Levi comments as he looks at his dear daughter. āIs this why you were crying so much the day I was leaving for Marley?ā
āMhmmā¦ ā Mae nods, as she rests her back against the door. And Levi closes his eyes, listening to her voice.
āYou had to save the world Levi, you had to give it your all. And you would have died hating yourself if you knew you had a child coming into the world, that you werenāt going to be there forā¦ As much as I was dying to tell you about my pregnancy, I thought it was best to keep it from youā¦ā Itās an uncomfortable topic that defines the rest of their future, Maeās eyes fall to the ground.
If only she would look up, she would see Levi with the faintest of smiles, thinking of how he can actually see her instead of imagining her.
āI know a child was never something you wantedā¦ So I understand how complicated this situation can be for you.ā Mae goes on and Levi lays still with his eyes shut in contentment, hoping for time to slow down.
āWhat?ā She gasps, finally looking up at him. āSay something? Iāll never know how youāre feeling if you donāt tell me about it.ā
Finally his eyes flutter open, and he looks at her through the curtain of his lashes. A faint smile plays on his lips, and his cheeks turn pink as he stretches out his other hand towards her. āCome here.ā
In an instant, her features soften, turning into one of relief. And she smiles as makes her way to him.
She rests her head on his shoulder.And he drinks in every detail. As if heās a parched man, dying of thirst. His heart pounds in his chest, and then his gaze falls towards her lips.
It doesnāt take too long for their lips to fuse together. Itās a simple kiss, but itās been years.
They part in bliss.
And Levi brings her hands to his lips, pressing a doting kiss on her skin. Sheās his to keep, his to salvage.He canāt put his gratitude into words.
āThank you.ā His voice is heavy. ā I-Iā¦ā He wants to tell her how happy he is to be next to her. He wants to tell her how exhausting it was without her. And that he canāt believe sheās all his. He wants to tell her about all the letters heās written to her. But his heart is lodged so deep in his throat that he canāt squeak out the words he desperately wants to say.
āRest my love.ā She keeps her thumb on his lip, tracing his bottom lip. āWe have time.ā
His eyes flutter shut at her words, and her hand reaches to the top of his head. She starts combing out the hair that falls on his forehead.
His old scars have faded, almost blending into his skin. And the hard muscles on his chest have been replaced with soft dimpled skin. The lines in the corner of her eyes run deep.
Heās softer now. Marked by age, but just as beautiful.
Her finger traces down his cheek, following the scar that runs across his face. The feeling of his skin dipping under her fingers almost feels overwhelming.
āLevi,ā she calls, caressing the side of his face. And he responds by leaning into her touch.
āI canāt believe youāre real,ā She murmurs.
The silence is blissful.
And Levi feels his heart flutter, just like it did when she held his hand for the first time.
āMaeā¦ā his voice trails off and he gulps. āHow did Lily recognise me?... It feels like she knows so much about me?ā
And Mae tilts her head up. āSheās heard stories about you ever since she was in my womb, of course she knows a lot about youā¦ We even got someone to draw a portrait of you last year, because she wanted to see you for her birthday.ā
āShe thinks youāre some kind of hero Levi.ā Mae yawns, āA few months back, she was trying to eat food by herself, and she ended up making a messā¦ which was fine because she was just learning, but she started crying frantically, and I asked her what happened? She said Dada wouldnāt like her, because she made a mess and Dada hates messes.ā
Maeās eyes trail to the way her daughter sleeps, with her cheek squished against Leviās chest, and her eyes are shut close in peace. āShe thinks youāre some kind of hero.ā
And Levi remains silent. Afraid the words will ruin the tender moment.
It might seem like heās dozed off, but the pink crawling on his cheek tells otherwise.
And Mae looks at him with the softest of smiles. For the first time in a long while, her heart feels complete.
āActually she is rightā¦ you are a hero.ā She mumbles as she closes her eyes in peace.
And a single tear slips past his eye.
Heās finally home.
Thoughts? Thoughts? Thoughts?
I know its a very simple, cliche, happily ever after ending, but I really REALLY wanted Levi to have a family of his own, and experience a normal, happy life, which is why I made Mae pregnant lol.
To anyone who has made this far. I would love to know your thoughts on the entire story. Things you liked, didn't like. Your feedback is crucial.
I'm going to start editing this fic from now on, and whatever you say will be considered. So I would love to know your thoughts on what could get better and be improved.
Something else, I'm very excited about is designing and illustrating a book cover (since I am a graphic designer lol) and get a few hardcopies printed for myself!! I'm assuming I'll be done with it by DEC 25th, so right now I do plan to post an Epilogue/ bonus chapter and share the book cover designs on Dec 25th. (I don;t know if anyone is interested in this, but I'm just doing it for myself hehe)
I would like to thank the many people who have been a constant support while writing this. I don't think I can tag everyone since they are on different platforms, so I'll just mention their names here. @Alexandra218943 , Cupidcup, @musumusuhasi and Abha , I wouldn't have completed this without you, so thank you <3
And to all the people who have commented, and interacted with the story at any point. I want to let you know that I've had a shit month at work, my self esteem has been at an all time low , and the only thing that's made me feel capable of something are your comments, and I keep going back to them! So thank you for that, I am immensely grateful!
